Swinging with kids in the house?

[mf69_98 20]

I was recently with a new lady friend's house & we were playing in her living room on a foldout bed. In the middle of the action, I thought I heard someone cough upstairs. I found out the next time we were together that her grandchildren were upstairs. Now she's very vocal in bed, so it really bugged me to find out they were up there & could probably hear everything.

 

Now on another hand, my wife & her lover played in our bedroom a couple of times after our kids went to bed a couple hours earlier on a school night. They kept things quite (I was downstairs in the room under our bedroom so they could have some solo time together) and as both of our kids are heavy sleepers, I don't think they knew what was going on up there. They only did it the 2 times, as I felt they were pushing their luck too much. Now we make sure the kids are at my mom's or go over to his place.

[F16AV8R 18]

We've done the wild thing with friends while the kids were home but they were in diapers and asleep. They were so young that even if they'd woken up and gotten out of tghe crib, they wouldn't have known what was going on. The kids are 9 and 7 now so no we would not run the risk of getting caught by them. We don't feel there is anything shameful about what we do, but as responsible parents, you never want your kids to see any of this even if it's just you and your spouse. However, if the kids were asleep and friends were in the jacuzzi with us we might do some playing under the water.

[puneswings 15]

We once had a group scene with 5 couples (us included) involved. We had rented a villa quite far out from everyone's respective places of residence. However, one of them had a babysitter cancelling at the last minute, and had no choice but to either cancel their own plans of joining us, or bringing the children along. They went with the latter.

 

We (me and asha) were a bit nervous about it initially, but it turned out fine in the end. The children (3 yrs and 5 yrs, if I remember right) went to bed early, and didn't wake up even once, despite the fairly loud noises coming from our designated Temple of Wanton Lust.

[Mrs Spoomonkey 118]

We once had a group scene with 5 couples (us included) involved. We had rented a villa quite far out from everyone's respective places of residence. However, one of them had a babysitter cancelling at the last minute, and had no choice but to either cancel their own plans of joining us, or bringing the children along. They went with the latter.

 

We (me and asha) were a bit nervous about it initially, but it turned out fine in the end. The children (3 yrs and 5 yrs, if I remember right) went to bed early, and didn't wake up even once, despite the fairly loud noises coming from our designated Temple of Wanton Lust.

 

I'm glad it worked out and the children slept through it but I do have to admit that if I was one of the five couples who had split the cost of the cabin, got my own babysitters for a stress free, "no holds barred" weekend with some lifestyle friends and one of them brought their kids, I'd be very upset. That to me is very selfish and inconsiderate on that couples part. They should have just backed out and planned for the next time.

 

Just my 2 cents on how it would make me feel. I've had vanilla situations where you plan an adult thing and someone brings their children. I love our children with my life but if I make plans for some adult time (kids to grandma or sitter) regards of what it involves I don't want to list or deal with someone else's who thought it would be okay to bring their children even though no one else did.

 

Mrs Spoomonkey

[Vespertine 31]

if I was one of the five couples who had split the cost of the cabin, got my own babysitters for a stress free, "no holds barred" weekend with some lifestyle friends and one of them brought their kids, I'd be very upset.

Dito Me too!

 

I'd leave.....after asking for my money back.

[Nymph an' Satyr 22]

We once met a couple for the first time & they brought their 5 year old daughter to the meet. It was, how shall we say, off putting. She was a sweet child- we bought her some pie. Nothing sexy about THAT conversation. We know the problems of baby sitters- we have three kids. But still, not good form.

 

There is a reason that we did not start swinging until two years ago- it coincides with our oldest being 16- old enough to baby sit.

 

I've been an employment manager. I've interviewed people for a job with their 4 year old in their lap. No problem. The person is unemployed and can't afford a baby sitter. I understand. But not the same in swinging.

 

Swinging and children have NO PLACE- it's selfish- pure and simple- sorry, just our take....

[birdieone 18]

Great topic, simple response. By being in this lifestyle most assume that you are in a secure , structured and deeply committed relationship with your s/o. having said that, your family should always come first, no matter what. It is our responsibility to filter, teach and be mentors and role models for our children. Therefore it is our responsibility to filter children from this lifestlye until they are of the age to make their own decisions. We hope we do not offend anyone with our comment but if the situation ever arose, and we went to a house party or the like, and children were present no matter what the age or situation we would simply excuse ourselves.

[HotMoCpl 20]

We wern't swinging, just with each other. This happened not too long after my wife and I met about fifteen years ago. She had a fifteen year old daughter. We were buck ass naked and she giving me one hell of a bj when I noticed her daughter peeking into the bedroom. When she noticed that I spotted her, I got the "deer in the headlights" look and she ducked back. I just put it out of my mind until a couple of years ago and told the wife. We both knew that her daughter had been sexually active for awhile at that time and she made light of it. Hey, afterall, I did marry her mom.

 

As far as actually swinging? If there are kids in the house....we're outta there!

[omneesx 15]

EUcpl Are yours and your friends children sleeping in a crib? Probably not by their ages, so what if the children wake up and happen to catch you with a different partner? How do you explain that? It seems to me that having fun is first and foremost in your lives than worrying about your children walking in on you. Shame on you. Mrs

 

Our experience has been similar to EUcpl and "Protecting the Children" was never a factor in the situation because if this one fact. To those kids of similar ages at the time, bedtime was bedtime and to disregard that rule resulted in dire consequences for them. Unless the house was burning, they understood they were to stay in their room.

 

If the child knows the rules and tends to obey them then you most likely wont have any of the embarrasing situations people have mentioned here, which has been our experience. If your children are the type to constantly interrupt your favorite movie after they've been told to go to bed then we agree that swinging in the house may not be for you. Worrying about children does not keep us from having fun any more than worrying about a new partner's breath. We are prepared and usually manage ok. Is it also shameful when parents hire a sitter to "have fun" instead of being there for their children? Is it shameful to keep pornagraphy in the house because the child might get into it? Is it shameful to be nude in front of your child?

 

We also would like to mention again that we don't believe a child witnessing a sex act is immediately hurtful to a child. Seems to us that when a child walks in on their parents (provided those parents have not laid ground rules concerning entry into the parents' bedroom), the resulting apparent shame and extreme discomfort of the parent is what the child remembers. A calm explanation to the level of the child's understanding would be much better than, "Oh my god! Go to your room now!"

Are we way off here?

[intuition897 2,179]

In general, it is highly preferable to send the kids to Mom's house in any circumstance as far as swinging is concerned. However, it is absolutely necessary to have a sitter lined up if they are of an age that they can get out of bed themselves. There's no way we're taking a chance with our little insomniacs, and we would politely decline an invitation at someone else's house if they had kids there...at least until we could arrange a sitter or rent a room. It's not worth the risk.

[C4CIN 18]

As far as responsible parenting goes- kids can walk in on the parents without being swingeres! We always lock the doors alone or with company. We usually prefer to go out but we like the surprise 3-some every so often and kids don't allow for much spontaneous fun... We alson have an outside door to our master bath from the yard...

[mlsngoldnxx 15]

OMG i was starting to think we were freaks. thanx for sharing a differant opinion and your not alone in your thoughts.

[DBL D 120]

Kids in the house...

 

Fem D

[Zoe&Wash 93]

We've been walked in on too many times that the idea of having friends over while our little sleepwalker is in the same county, let alone the same little pink house, scares the hell out of us.

 

Gonna have to go with door locked, lights out, sleepwalker with relatives and us 200 miles away on this one.

[wiscpl 22]

Have we? yes! Do we do it as a rule, no. We would much rather pack up for a weekend get away to play than risk getting "caught" in a situation such as this. However, lock the door, put a chair in front of it and keep the moans below a fog horn and we're fine.

[C4CIN 18]

...and keep the moans below a fog horn...

 

 

Good point, we are not a noisy couple but your comment cracked us up!

[WillnWoo 16]

WE have 2 kids.. and voted other.. mainly because we have swung with the kids in the house... but it's with a regular friend (and our sons Godfather)... basically.. husband number 2.. more of a polyamour relationship...

 

Whenit comes to others... we would be wary of inviting people back when the kids are home...

 

2 reasons really... Firstly: if the kids woke up... or needed attention it would interupt the natural flow of the evening..

Secondly.. and more importantly.. the other people's embarisment factor... this is difficult to explain... but .. try and imagine the situation... and I'll think you'll understand..

 

As for the kids walking in on the act...OK... it's easier to explain when it's mummy and daddy... than if it's mummy and some person they have never seen before... but...you still ahve to explain the "Special cuddle stuff".. no matter what.. however.. with the way our kids sleep... (we are very lucky)... the walking in on us possiblilty is dramtically reduced... that said... this is another reason to avoid the Swinging when Kids are home.. at least until they are mature enough to understand what is going on, and sexually mature enough as well...

 

to summarise.. no we wouldn't swing with the kids at home.. except with Husband number 2... or .... someone else that knows the kids, and the kids know them as well as mum and dad..

 

W&W

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

We are not kid friendly, not even in the vanilla sense, so likely if we knew someone's kids were going to be home we wouldn't even be over there. We can deal with older kids and some of our good friends do have little ones that we can handle, but for the most part we try to avoid them.

[havefuninsun 122]

No way. Our kids are older, which means we don't need a sitter. Which ALSO means that they come and go. Bummer that we can't host at our house.

[cubnamy1995 124]

Are you kidding me ?????

 

I love my children, don't get me wrong, but part of the reason we swing is to take time off from those little bastards!

 

Seriously, swinging is our adult play time, and the last thing we would want or need is to have kids around. If we can get a babysitter for our 4, you can for your two. Know what I mean?

 

Part of swinging is being able to cut loose. You can't do that with children in the house.

[Ellyanne77 81]

We say no kids in the house ever. As a matter of fact (maybe it's because we are newbies) but we don't swing at our house or others. We (just the hubby and I) have always gone to a hotel once every couple of months just to get out of the house and spice things up. So now its really no different. There is just something great about getting a hotel room making a mess of it with clothes flying and condom wrappers and then just leaving the mess and going home lol.

We have been invited to house parties and have yet to go to one but will eventually. As for just 4 people hanging out at each others homes...just not going to happen for us. We love the sex but can do without it just to go out and have a great dinner or dancing night out! Just our way.

[sweet_tna 680]

We have played with kids in the house (asleep), but not something we care to repeat.

[Trace Ekies 186]

Like TNA, we have played with kids asleep in the house and care to never do it again.

[shiftagain 15]

we have two kids, one 4 and the other 1. We wouldnt swing with them in the house simply because we like to sleep in after a good night. hehe.

But I find it hard to understand the judgment comming from some members here. I thought of all groups this would not be a judgmental group.

 

All situations are different and deserve respect IMO.

[xplor69 15]

I would not be comfortable with my kids or someone else's in the house while "playtime" was going on. That said, I have no problems with my children being around my friends who are in the lifestyle. It leaves out the curiosity of wondering who I'm meeting and why I don't bring them around, especially for my 14 year old. Quite a few have children of their own and are intelligent/respectful enough to know there is a time and place for everything.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

But I find it hard to understand the judgment comming from some members here. I thought of all groups this would not be a judgmental group.

 

All situations are different and deserve respect IMO.

 

Swingers are just like everyone else in the world. We all have our boundaries and things that we don't agree with and will be judgemental on. There are very few things that others can do that I will say are just flat out wrong (as I do tend to take a "to each their own attitude") but swinging when there are kids present in the house ranks up there on my list of things that just should not be done.

 

As the poster above me said "there's a time and place for everything"... and in the house with kids is not the time or place for swinging.

[theflamekasters 20]

We dont play with the kids home, with one exception, with a single female. We always lock our door, even if it is jsut the mrs and i playing. So if one of out two kids comes knockin, me or the mrs. gets up and deals with it, which this has never actually happened. Our kids sleep very well we are lucky, but no way would i have a girl in some other part of the house and risk the chance of getting caught

[jessicat78 23]

Never with kids at home.

[Guest mysticon]

I have played with kids in the house, (small and adult) but that has been few and far between; and only when they've been asleep- and the both of us behind a locked door. I would prefer no kids in the house, just because it's easier to relax; and you don't have to worry about them knocking on the door or hearing anything.

[red96 17]

No way for us. Our kids are teenagers and we do not play at home. We would not play at someones home if there were children present either no matter how young/ or old they were.

[shy_couple 459]

We think its a bad idea and would never do it!

 

We also dont want to be with anyone who would. We feel that it is in poor judgement and low class.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

No how, no way. To much to explain at their age. Even if they were older I can see it happening. That is mom and dad stuff.

[Cajun2Step 65]

No way....never gonna happen! Neither our kids or others kids.

[DE_BBC 15]

I had a few experiences with being at a couples house and their kids being home. One was ok because the kids were little and it was late and we were in a room away from them.

 

Another was really odd because after we had finished "playing" the woman got up and went to get the baby....she then brought the baby out(really a baby not more than 6 months old)...but it freaked me out a little....so I made a quick exit.

 

The other time it was odd but ok I guess... as an adult child was at home...this particular couple was/is very open about what they do ...so they had no problem with their 20-something year old daughter being home.

[Miss Sunshine 29]

Well , I just had to write. Our kids are all over 21, 2 still live at home because of school, one night they were all out and weren't supposed to be home, we went to dinner with a couple, had a great time and came back to our house. We would give them a lift home later after play time. Well, we were all very horney, went upstairs took showers, all 4 of us together, went into our bedroom, and began our sex fun, I am in a 69 with the other woman and have already cum several times, we have the boys cocks in our hands, just a pile of sweaty horney people, when I hear a noise and realize someone iis home. One of our kids decided to invite his friends back fro a movie and some beer, i can hear a bunch of kids downstairs. He calls up and says he is home, not sure how long, There is only one way out and that is down through the living room. We start to laugh but don't know what to do. We figured we are trapped, so we actually finish off the guys, rub a few more orgasms out of us and get dressed. I slowly open the door and don't hear anything, it seems they decided to go out back and have a fire in the fire pit, we all run down the stairs, out into the car and drive off. My hubby and I get home after dropping our friends off and pull up to the house and go in and run into my son with a confused look on his face. We said we felt like running out for a drink! That was the end of it, phewwww

[Powerglide 235]

There is nothing shameful about swinging. In fact it is something very joyful. But there is still a very strong stigma attached,and people could lose jobs, friendships, etc. So I think it entirely depends on whether the kids are mature enough to know how to be discreet.

[Alura 2,774]

We had only a few experiences when our kids were at home and asleep.

 

We played in the pool which, at night with the lights turned off, is impossible to see from the house. If a child had awoke, he would have turned on the kitchen lights which would have given us enough time to put our swim suits on. Then he would have looked in the master bedroom before the pool.

 

We never needed our early-warning system, though. We'd be unusually quiet and enjoy our friends in the pool.

 

I would have hated to have missed the experiences...

 

Alura

[lorainaandjames 45]

This used to be easier but now that our oldest has friends who drive....this resulted in an almost very very bad situation. Luckily our oldest is from another marriage. And her blood father is a porn star lol. So she is very open minded but our youngest ones are very sheltered and we like to keep it that way.

[lorainaandjames 45]

Just curious if your son knows you swing?

[essexcouple 15]

Maybe we're an exception here, we have met with our kids in the house, and its been fine. We are honest with the other couple in advance and understand if people are not comfortable. If we can pass our kids to my mum or my sister for the night then we do, but we have 3 kids, ranging 4-13 so its a lot to ask family to take for the night. And its very expensive getting a babysitter for the evening - maybe late into the night. DH and I are discrete and careful, but otherwise we'd find it difficult to meet people.

[Learning 160]

Oh no! It would not be for us. I never would want to explain what we had been up to.

[WhatisTruth 41]

We have with very young kids in the house of our play partners. However, it depends on the household and the environment the kids are being raised in. At the very least, if the kids are old enough to get out of bed on their own then I would want to be in a bedroom far enough away with the doors locked.

[TheSwingerSet 205]

while we have had playtime at our own home and the homes of friends while there were kids around, it's not something that we do on a regular basis. As we have gotten older we prefer that playtime happen earlier, so waiting till all the kids are in bed is just not going to happen. So now we go to a hotel for playtime.

 

We have 3 kids 9, 14 and 20 both the older two have some idea what we do, but it is not spoken outright.

 

We are very open with our kids, they know that we love each other and that we have sex, they know that expressing affection is ok.

 

One of the things we hate about society in general is that sex and the naked human form is to be kept behind closed doors. If all of society were more open about sex and nudity I think we would all be better off.

 

Someone brought up even drinking around their kids being a no no. This in my opinion is so wrong. How will your kids learn how to drink responsibly if they never even see you with a drink in your hand. Some of the taboos that we impose on our lives will only make it much harder for our children to come of age safely. We have spent hours talking with our kids about sex, drinking, drugs (which we do not do) and how to do all these things safely.

 

We have had conversations with some of our kids friends parents, because they thought we were being to open about life. We have also had other parents ask us to talk to their kids about these things, because they were to embarrassed to do it them selves.

 

We have bought condoms for our oldest son, when he was younger he used to masturbate while wearing one because he liked how they felt. In our opinion this was a good thing because he knew how to use them and didn't mind using them.

 

Ok shutting up now before I write a book.

 

K

[MacNfries 123]

Nope...no way, not with a 12 & 14 year old in the house.