When Menopause Has an Impact

[Trophy1802 132]

My spouse and I have been into the LS for several years now and have really enjoyed ourselves immensely. We have been with couples, had threesomes, and have had sole experiences and everything has worked for both of us.

 

In the past six months though, the early stages of menopause has had a big impact on any new experiences. My wife has not really been in the mood and I can understand it. She told me to feel free to keep on exploring myself with other females and couples. I have with an on-going female FWB who she knows of and is totally aware when we did get together. However, lately I have been been losing interest myself just feeling a bit awkward without my wife enjoying herself in the way she did prior to the onset of menopause. 

 

Anyone else gone through this and how did you feel about the situation? 

 

Thanks 

[lovefest04 699]

We're in a similar situation. I find my drive is way higher than hers. To compensate I've tried to add 'spice' to the relationship. But this hasn't worked. I don't have any answers, but what she has said is that she needs and wants more intimacy, not sex so much, that has to follow.

 

I'll continue to play with sex, do my strutting around the hose like a cock in a hen house, but I'm going to work on adding more quiet cuddling, touching etc. Kinda take away the pressure for sex.

 

Wish me luck and good luck to you.

[lcmim 1,082]

lovefest, you are on the right track.

 

Looking backwards to the whole menopause experience, it was a time of exploration for the two of us. Paradigms shifted and shifted again. Even after decades of marriage we got to know portions of each other that had been obscured by other life issues.

 

 Once the whole pregnancy issue was resolved her sex drive went through the roof.  It was a time when we ,for the first time had a sex life that was totally unencumbered by the possibility of making new life. ( We always welcomed even anticipated the children. They were not a burden, but they were a consideration.)

 

It was only afterwards they we decided we were free to start opening our marriage to others. It would be fair to say that the whole lifestyle  experience grew out of the menopause experience for us.

 

So live through this together. Use it as the new frontier that it is. Afterwards it can and often does get more interesting than before.

 

[njbm 2,871]

I advise consulting with a doctor. There are medications that help with certain problems, such as lubrication. Not everything can be the way they were, but there are things that can heip. 

[ROCKlandCpl 451]

Menopause has been the biggest underlying reason that allowed us to even discuss swinging. My peri menopause began just shy of my 45th birthday. I knew my older sister started early and my mother did too. I was very open with my doctor with all of my symptoms, missed periods, flashes, and lubrications. I feared loss of wanting sex and I like saying I became more sexually involved with my body. My husband was very excited with me wanting more not less, we were ordering more sex toys along with all types of lubrications. I’m sure our mailman had to be thinking I was a freak. 

You need to have discussions, your wife needs to be open with her gynecologist, as she can prescribe medications that help. Show your wife you understand, don’t blame, don’t argue over sex. If she needs lubrication, oral sex is a great start, flavored gels, toys and female oriented porn. My husband always thought pleasing me was important, he was even more patient as I went through the menopause journey, and with going on vacation is not an option currently, we have both been on this journey together. 

[couplers 4,640]

The fact that sex exists and is pleasurable beyond menopause is proof that God wants us to use and enjoy that aspect of our physical beings.