Is the Hotwife Lifestyle or promiscuity swinging?

[JessicaJamison 861]

So I had someone ask how long I've been swinging?  I've been a Hotwife for five years, but only been swapping for 3 years.  So do I include my Hotwife years as swinging, or is that different from swinging? 

 

On this same note, I have been fairly promiscuous since I became sexually active, I always had multiple partners, even in the beginning.  I like new sex, with new people.  That attitude carried through my teens and twenties till I my husband proposed to me, so is a single very promiscuous person considered a form of swinging?

[Fitlakecouple 451]

“Swinging” does not equal “lifestyle”…

The terms “lifestyle” and “swinging” are often used interchangeably; but I think of them differently. To me, “lifestyle” is a broad term that includes many forms of erotic expression: voyeurism, exhibitionism, cross-dressing, kink, swinging, etc. In other words, swinging is a subset of the very broad, lifestyle.

What is swinging then? Consensual, non-monogamy is at the heart of swinging. The consent is between the couple that have the societal expectation of being in a monogamous relationship. The couple could be m/m, f/f, m/f… So, by my definition (and this will rile some folks) – a single person cannot be a ‘swinger’. They can be in the lifestyle, they can play with swingers to be sure – but they are not swinging per se, because they are not consenting with another person in their committed relationship to play outside of their relationship. Society has no expectation that they be monogamous in the first place.

So, is a hotwife a swinger? Absolutely! She is in a relationship that has the expectation of monogamy. She also has the consent of her husband to play outside of the relationship. His presence to the play is not key issue – his knowledge and consent is. Without his consent – she is simply cheating. If she is single, she is just a girl who knows how to have a good time.

[adamgunn 1,460]

Sigh . . . I totally agree with your first paragraph.

 

But you go off the rails in the second paragraph, in my opinion. Swinging is when a married couple partake in the LifeStyle together. The most usual type is the foursome, where two couples swap partner. Moresomes and orgies, etc., also fit in the definition of swinging as long as both the wife and husband are having sex with others at the same time.

 

Hotwifing is where the wife has sex with the knowledge and approval of the husband, but the husband does not have sex with others. So Hotwifing is not swinging, but it is another subset of the LifeStyle.

[Manitobacpl 81]

For us ... we seem to be heading down mfm threesome with maybe an occasional one on one for her and our other partner .. is that still classed as swinging ? Marilyn is honest in saying she could never see me with another woman .... 

[AnasnaCpl 0]

we were trying to set up a video chat.  Check out our profile anasnacpl.

[JessicaJamison 861]

1 hour ago, AnasnaCpl said:

we were trying to set up a video chat.  Check out our profile anasnacpl.

There is no information on your profile at all.  What exactly do you want me to look at.  

[couplers 4,639]

"Is it swinging?"  The question comes up about swinging and a number of other sexual activities (the big ones being "Is it bi?" and "Is it gay?").  It is what it is; endless hours can be spent defining terms.

 

The most important thing for me is that I have always found a group of intelligent, accepting people here to discuss it all and make me feel normal.  Not with in the mainstream, but normal.  

[Lionheart72 2,190]

On 11/27/2020 at 6:10 AM, JessicaJamison said:

So I had someone ask how long I've been swinging?  I've been a Hotwife for five years, but only been swapping for 3 years.  So do I include my Hotwife years as swinging, or is that different from swinging?

 

Definitions are always tricky... and they can be important or irrelevant depending. I'd say, if you can go with "oh, I don't know... a few years" if you're wanting to give a quick answer. If you want to give a detailed answer, give them the one you gave here... that you've been swapping for about 3 years, but were a hotwife a couple years before that and have really always tended toward non-monogamous relationships. Personally, I think that would make a very interesting place to start a conversation if we were chatting together.

[Numex 2,416]

On 11/27/2020 at 4:10 AM, JessicaJamison said:

I have been fairly promiscuous since I became sexually active, I always had multiple partners, even in the beginning.  I like new sex, with new people.  That attitude carried through my teens and twenties till I my husband

My wife didn't become promiscuous until after we got married.  I like to think that she was saving it for me. ?

[JessicaJamison 861]

23 hours ago, Lionheart72 said:

 

9 hours ago, Numex said:

My wife didn't become promiscuous until after we got married.  I like to think that she was saving it for me. ?

 

She probably just had a decent home life as a child, I on the other hand grew up rough and had a very early and rough introduction to sex and how a woman could control a man. Couple that with a desire to get positive feedback from men in my life, since I never knew my father, and you get a woman that didn't have a very high sense of self worth so I generally gave my body away fairly freely, probably too freely.  

[Numex 2,416]

May I ask, at what point did you feel that you got it sorted out?  You seem to be a very sensible, in control, and well grounded person.

 

You are right, my wife had a traditional family upbringing.  She has always been ambitious/

aggressive and has reached professional achievement in her field.  When given the opportunity to be that way sexually as well (by me), she took it.

[JessicaJamison 861]

I think the idea of self worth came in my early 30s, that was the point where I stopped using sex as a way to get a man's favor.  I grew up without a father, and a mother that did anything to get a man to stay with her, some of them did cruel things to me.  So I ran away at 16.  My first job was at a strip club where I worked till I was 29.  I can tell you working as a stripper is not the place to find self worth.  It wasn't till I was removed from that environment that I found the strength to love myself and see my value outside of the relationships I kept.  .