Does anyone else have a no kissing rule?

[skeghed 15]

I have seen posts by people who laugh at the thought of a couple having a rule against kissing anyone else. Please let me just post this from our point of view and then you can comment again if you wish.

 

To us - kissing conveys an emotional attachment to each other. And, also, we want to reserve something that is done only between us. Don't get me wrong - kissing is EXTREMELY arousing to us both....and is an important part of foreplay for us both.

 

But we as a couple have decided that this is one of the things that we want to enjoy only with each other.

 

Also - it is kind of disconcerting to see people get laughed at or slammed for some of the rules or restrictions or feelings that they have towards swinging. It ,may be like second nature to some couples and I am really glad for you - but to others, it is sharing one of the most intimate parts of their relationships and it takes getting used to and they have some reservations and YES! problems with it. Before you hit that "post" button, some of you might want to remember that and know that if they are taking the time to a) look for sites like this (and this is the best I have found, BTW) b) read the boards and c) post their questions that they are most likely sincere in their want to overcome any problems and are looking for sincere answers, advice and stories of experiences to help them out.

 

Laughing at their feelings/problems could be very discouraging to them and cause them to blow off the lifestyle altogether or plunge in to a situation that they are not comfortable with because they now feel like they aren't "normal" for feeling the way they do and that they should "get over it" or blow it off.

 

WOW! Didn't mean to go on like that....

 

Sooooo....anyway....is there anyone else that has the "no-kissing" rule or any other couple that reserves something that they do just between themselves?

[Flori_DAMAN 26]

Good post. I had a problem getting over the kissing issue myself at first. I felt that some of the posts contributed on this subject were a bit insensitive also. John

[skeghed 15]

Thanks John! I am relieved to know I am not the only one that felt that way!

 

But really, I have seen some insensitive posts to several subjects....and there is one or two posters in particular that for some reason are extremely suspicious of anyone that has any degree of jealousy or insecurity issues....and that is a shame. But overall, I would say this is one of the most supportive and helpful bunch of people I have found.

 

I just hope that people will really look at what is being asked and try their best to answer THAT question without trying to dig up anything that may or may not be there. (I realize that sometimes more info is needed to answer a question - and that is not what I am talking about.)

 

Also - you say you used to have problems with it....what were they and how did you get over those problems? (If I may ask.) And do you have anything that you reserve just for you and your s/o?

 

Thanks again!

[Alura 2,774]

Well, I have to admit that my wife and I posted one of the more insensitive replys to the no kissing question. We're also aware that prostitutes are famous for never kissing their clients because it is too personal.

 

We love to kiss, and do not feel threatened when we see our spouse kissing someone else, so "no kissing" is not for us. If we met another couple who wanted to play with no kissing involved, we'd just say, "No, thank you."

 

It's alright with us if you want to live by that rule and wish you the best of luck in finding couples who agree with you.

 

I apologize for both of us for our insensitivity.

 

Husband of Alura

[Flori_DAMAN 26]

Swingers Board is a great site for those that both wish to express views or seek a deeper understanding of the lifestyle among other things. I have posted a few things that I wish I could go delete LOL. Everyone I am sure has been insensitive to some issues, including US

 

For me (John), the kissing issue raised concerns that I was a bit confused by. The paradox being of course; how can I so relish the sexual aspect of swinging and feel at all threatened by JUST kissing.

 

I knew as Alura says that it would be a difficult problem to approach by just finding people that would go along with the no kissing rule but I tried it anyhow.

 

It took exactly one minute into our first swinging encounter for Tammy to blow the rule to bits lmao. I decided it was the "heat of the moment" and said nothing until the next day.

 

Tam said something to the effect of "oh its no big deal kissing just adds to the intensity". Well ok I figured and haven't given it a thought since. Now, I actually couldn't imagine swinging without kissing. After that episode I broke a rule once and we have grown from these experiences. We now know that we must both stick to our rules anyhow and we have a higher level of communication as a result.

 

The kissing threat (KT) in my mind is a small hurdle that some people have to just jump over. On the surface (and in retrospect), it does indeed seem ludicrous that it would even be an issue.

 

I suppose it would take some sort of psychologist to thoroughly explain the contradictory emotions involved but an issue is very real if it exists in YOUR mind.

 

It just took a bit of pondering for me to come to the realization that kissing can just be a form of foreplay strictly involving sex as opposed to an expression of intimate feelings. Of course it also adds to the intensity and for many people sex without kissing would have a negative effect on the total enjoyment that we are in fact seeking. John

[neGA_cpl 16]

We can relate to Skeghed's rule, and we do not allow kissing in the majority of our encounter's. Kissing is a more personal and emotional act, something shared between two people who have more then a sexual relationship.

If we have an encounter with another, we keep the kissing out, along with a couple of other "actions" we feel are to be shared with only someone special. If we continue in a relationship with the others on a longer term basis, then we are more open to allowing kissing, as the relationship grows from sexual attraction to more of a friendship and companion type relationship.

As far as the "slamming" on others for there opinions or rules in the lifestyle, the only rule we have found to be solid amoung the other swingers we have met is "No Means No"...the rest of the rules is set by the couples and individuals involved in each seperate encounter, and to a level that they feel is comfortable to them respectivly.

[Alura 2,774]

Thanks, John!

 

You nailed it. Well written post! To us, none of the acts we do with another couple is "making love." We'd guess that's the difference we see. In fact, what we do together is very different from what we do with others, although the observer might fail to see a difference. We feel it, though.

[LIZA 20]

I prefer not to do a lot of kissing.

I don't make it a rule "upfront" but if a woman or man is trying to do a lot of kissing, especially big wet ones, I will switch to another act or will turn so they kiss my neck instead.

I guess it's a combination of being too intimate and also that if someone does smoke it is unpleasant to kiss them.

[Sweetdevil 17]

Help me to understand how can kissing be more inimate and emotional THAN penetration?

[Diamond707 15]

Oh man, was it great to read your post! I too am a man that has a problem with the kissing issue. My wife and I had a threesome a few weeks back, and that was the one thing that I had a problem with. As a matter of fact, I posted a message on here regarding that issue, and boy did I catch a lot of flak for my feelings. So, it is good to know that there is one other guy that share my feelings!

[ken -N- lea 15]

lea and i have now for the first time in ten years of swinging really discused this topic. and we decided that for us kissing is not a problem as long as it is in a sexual way ie. not just sitting around making out with someone else. as far as kissing being more intimate than penatration i think it can be in the right (or wrong) situation. for us the only thing that is off limits is anal with her, i'm the only guy who has been there and thats the way its going to stay.

ken

[youngswingers 15]

Getting a chance to kiss girls is what J got into this lifestyle for in the first place!

[gbhornywife 16]

I TOTALLY agree with Sweetdevil. Intimacy is what swinging is all about. We are becoming intimate in some shape or form with another couple / human being. Yes, kissing has its layers, but kissing is play. We kiss one another for many different reasons. There are innocent kisses and there are not-so-innocent kisses. Why can't one kiss differently when involved in play? I think kissing is also necessary to provide some sort of feedback with a playmate. It may provide honesty and a sense of trust with a playmate. How many people have you kissed (at anytime in your life) and just have KNOWN they are up to no good?

 

(my $.02)

[Stratecpl 19]

We kiss...kissing another man other than Ron in a swinging situation is foreplay and part of the fun. When I kiss Ron it's because I love him as well as foreplay and fun. I think it's just whether a person is able to mentallly draw that line between sex and love. I have no problem drawing that line but others can be uncomfortable with it. Each to their own I think. Ron enjoys seeing me kiss another man in threesomes..he gets very turned on by it.

 

Connie

[CanadianCouple 18]

J and I have never had an issue about kissing within the lifestyle. For us it's an important part of foreplay while leading up to penetration with others. Having said that, we'd never refuse to swing with anyone who won't allow kissing, much less ridicule them for it. Trying to remember NOT to kiss them in the heat of the moment, however, might take a bit of practise.

 

We all have our own individual pecadillos when being intimate with other couples. I've posted here before that I've had occasional feelings of mild jealousy when J and the other guy engage in platonic touching, such as touching each other's arm's during conversation to emphasis a point being made. I've also watched her locked together with the same guy in headboard-slamming intercourse, both howling like banshees. No jealousy on my part whatsoever. Funny how the mind works, eh?

 

Dan

[stucazzu 15]

When a person attempts to break "norms", they need to be sensitive to the background of the norm itself. Generally for most couples, inserting their penis was reserved for their special partner. They might kiss others but intercourse would be special. When "we" in the lifestyle choose to break that norm and enjoy fucking others for the pure pleasure of it with one's partner's participation/agreement, there is still generally some "need" to demonstrate to oneself as well as to one's partner that one's partner is special in a way that is not shared with others. That "specialness" is very important and do not minimize it. I would urge to have that special element exist in the quality of the relationship itself and in the accompanying profound knowledge of each other. No one on the face of the earth knows my partner like I do and no one ever will. When my wife and I go to a club to play, we go for the MUTUAL pleasure and enjoyment of the experience.

[M&B 21]

Good question!

 

My wife and I have a few limits, rules that we live by. Its a matter of comfort. We decided that swinging is for our own selfish interests and no one else's. It is for our own pleasure. Pushing some limits may cause discomfort, or worse. But, that is entirely up to us to decide.

 

Being in the lifestyle is the same as being in water. You can have just your toe in it, be up to you knees or all the way up to your eyes. At least you are in the water! No matter what, you and your lover decide how wet you will get.

 

Keep to your rules. Keep to your commitment to each other. If, as time passes, you both decide to expand certain limits, you do it together, never unilaterally.

[pumperswife 15]

I'm glad to find out that my husband and I aren't the only ones with the no kissing rule. A guy at our club has tried to tongue me several different times and I've mostly been successfull in turning my head aside. I finally had to tell him that my huband and I don't go there. He looked at me kinda strange then said he thought we should change our rules. We don't totally not kiss, a quick peck on the cheek or mouth as a hello or goodbye is all we do though. The intimate tongue kissing is one of our don't do rules. I know it sound kinda strange, after all what's more intimate than going down on someone & having sex with them. But for us right now this rule is right for us. And who knows, in the future that rule may change like other rules we've set for ourselves. But we always discuss these changes before they're made in order to assure that we're both on the same page at the same time. Some rules we've cahnged and deecided I didn't like it so we don't go there anymore. Just keep in mind that everyone in this lifestyle has different wants and needs be respectful of them and yourselves.

[LostInFlorida 15]

Originally posted by Sweetdevil:

[QB]how can kissing be more intimate and emotional THAN penetration?

 

Exactly...

That's what I feel about it. Either one can be intimate or just be form of a way of having sex with another person, swinging. To me, that is one of the buttons that make me go,I am still at the starting line..in neutral without it.

 

Without it, to me it is like being used for their own selfish gain , get what they want and not what you need.

 

I have had a few men that didn't kiss and personally to me, there wasn't much enjoyment in it, hop on, hop off. I won't be calling them back.

 

To us, kissing is part of the enjoyment of swinging otherwise... is it like we are dogs or animals with no feelings at all?

[babycakes3216900 15]

I just wanted to make an short reply about my view on kissing. I am only speaking for myself the female partner. We have touched this topic but never really came to an agreement. We are soft-swingers. Whole new lifestyle for me and him. Kissing to me is intimate and special to me. Not open to kiss others. Its weird cause yea, alot swap more than lips touching but, to me kissing is alot more sacret. All I can say at this time its weird but its special to me (kissing)

[Alura 2,774]

We cannot imagine having sex without kissing. When we play with other couples, we hug, we kiss with lots of tongue, we have both oral and vaginal sex. We do the same thing when we make love together. What's the difference?

 

We reserve making love for each other, simply because we could not make love with anyone else. We don't love anyone else.

 

We don't think anyone else should live by our rules, unless they choose to play with us. In turn, we will respect their limits. If, however, those limits would eliminate kissing or any of the other acts described above, those folks would be happier swinging with another couple.

 

Alura

[hotclubcpl4u 15]

Originally posted by skeghed:

I have seen posts by people who laugh at the thought of a couple having a rule against kissing anyone else

 

My husband and I have a very strict no kissing rule...it is something that we both agree on 100%. We feel that their is nothing more special or intimate than the kisses we share since they hold so much emotion for us. I remember telling this to someone (a man) at a club and he laughed at us and said "you'll change your mind". I thought that he was insulting and hurtful and showed complete lack of respect for our feelings and didn't appreciate it at all. Everyone has their own rules and it is not for us to judge... Hold true to your feelings and your values....they are important...

[anly 15]

We have a no-kissing rule also. We feel there can be more of an emotional element.Kissing on greeting is fine.Kissing has happened in the heat of the moment and that's fine we don't beat ourselves up for it..it just happens sometimes.

As to kissing in fourplay leading up to sex

we don't have an interest maybe odd ,but never occurs to us it's not an important part of swinging to us.To us kissing is a more intimate form from our point of view.Yes sex is intimate also,but for us sex is more lustfully driven,where kissing

to us is more intimate and we prefer to share that with ourselves.

The reason we feel it is more intimate is when kissing your eyes are usually closed ..if not it would be well yuck.LOL,and for that brief time your whole focus is on that one person,and that is something we are not interested in and we prefer to keep the kissing to ourselves, as it has more meaning then sex does.

We haven't had much problem or been slammed for it..to each his/her own some enjoy it and that's great it's just our policy not to.It is been our experience that quite a few couples we met have the same rule,those that differ felt it was odd,but respected the rule,and those who turned down because we didn't that's fine to ,all boils

down to incompatibility,everyone tastes and views of fun are different.

That's just our opinion.

[Sweetdevil 17]

I reply without forcing someone to believe different from me, but through discussion can some understanding occur.

 

Couples who do not believe in kissing while swinging or only kissing at certain times, should look deeper into their reasons for their decision. I think and from other discussions, know, generally speaking, the limits of kissing are usually based on the need to retain something special between the couple and not shared with anyone else. That reasoning I do not have a problem with.

 

My problem or lack of understanding, is kissing can be the least reason for retaining something special; we all must as couple retain something(s) which are special.

 

I would be more upset if my wife allowed another man or woman to engage in sexual activity which she will not or does not share with me. Such as, being dominated, allowing another to disrespect her or myself, seeking to see another without telling me, to fall in love or anything else which I do not enjoy with her.

 

Now having saying that, there are times where someone will do or show her something which she like which we haven't done. I can only say it will depend on what she was shown and if she told me about it. But to limit kissing or certain types of kissing is something we do not understand. If she and her partner are laying, caressing and kissing in afterplay for five or ten mintues and it leads to more sex then I do not have a problem with their actions, But if they are cuddling and kissing like lovers, there is a problem and we will talk as to why and what was she thinking at the time.

 

I end this post with what applies to one applies to both.

[Skyspirits 15]

Hi, My partner and I went through the kissing issue. We, too, felt it to be very intimate and part of our private play time. After a few years though, we were at a gathering where the issue came up. I like to give New Year's Eve kisses. We talked about it and though we do not make a point of kissing on the mouth, we do allow it in our play time now. After all ,there are so many other wonderful places we can choose to trail our lips....Now, as long as we are in the same room and comfortable, anything goes.

[Sex4Us2 15]

I just wanted to say that I respect couples who set their boundaries and follow through with them. I think that is very important to their relationship. As for kissing, I love it! Before we started in the lifestyle, even though I love my husband, I kinda felt sad with the thought that I would never experience that "first kiss" with anyone new again. The anticipation of meeting and waiting for the first time you press your lips together and your tongues touch...mmmmm. I know, its not always romantic but I still find it exciting nevertheless! I also have a difficult time getting turned on without the kissing. But I can understand the feeling of wanting to share that with your partner only. Guess its just all very personal!

[Brian and Jo 344]

OUr view on kissing while swinging is that everyone should do what makes them comfortable. For us kissing is an integal part of sexual foreplay no matter whether we are on our own or with other partners. For example when either of us is attracted to a potential new partner at a party an exploratory kiss while we are dancing can help to determine if the attraction is mutual. Also it seems to us that if you are going to have oral sex or penetration it is strange to draw the line at kissing. But if we meet a couple for whom kissing is a problem we respect their wishes of course and stick to oral sex and fucking.

[sccple29073 15]

Okay question about the kissing rule...For those of us that are bi-sexual..When you are with the partner of the same sex does the rule still apply?

 

Personally I am all for kissing with either sex. To me kissing is a natural part of sex and although i respect anyone that does not want to include it, I can't say I agree with it, but I would never try to push something onto someone. (Pushing only goes one way... and that's away)

 

I have found many couples that are against kissing, if it is with the opposite sex, but not when it is the same sex.

[Quin 17]

I have kind of kept out of this subject because I don't have a husband/SO so there are no *rules* for me to enter into with such. I do respect a couple's rules when with them and if they are a *no kissing* couple, then it's no kissing. Tho I will have to admit that very often that no kissing rule is broken for the female and there is kissing between myself and her. Apparently that's different than her kissing a male or her husband/SO kissing a woman.

 

Personally I find kissing very erotic and something that *occurs* naturally and at times have found it very difficult to not kiss tho I always keep in mind the *rules* and my respect to the couple and their rules as first and foremost. And yes, there are many many other things one can do with their mouth. I do have two swinger couple friends who have a no kissing rule between them but after several years of close friendship, they have lifted that rule when with me. But it's taken many years of friendship and trust to get to that point and I'm quite honored that they both feel comfortable enough with me to open up something that has been very private and personal between them.

[mehim 16]

wowwwwwww. i am learning a lot in here, and we just joined , i never know there was such a thing ,not kissing ,with some other couples . we allso see kissing as sort kind of forplay.after all he is putting his tongue on my other lips sort of speak ,so what is the diffrence.but i guess from now on i have to ask ..lol or just stay with our friends we allready happy swinging with ..

[Swappinfun 15]

I could not imagine getting together with another couple and not being able to kiss the other gal. I am going to do the wild thing with this lady but I can not kiss her???? Come on. It would be kinda like going skinny dipping but you would have to leave your clothes on. Sorry folks, but if we are going to do one we are going to do the other or we just are not gonna do anything at all. I would rather crawl between the sheets, make out, pet, and talk for 90% of the time and do the rest for the remainder of the time. If you are afraid of developing emotions for this person you should not be swapping. I do not want just to be a living breathing dildo for this lady nor do I want her to be a pocket pussy for me.

[Guest <Skibunny>]

For those of us who are bi-sexual. Kissing the opposite sex for my husband and I is off limits. But if the same sex wants to kiss, go for it. There is nothing emotional about it. When we first started in the lifestyle the only thing that really bothered either one of us was the kissing issue. To us it is a very passionate thing and we have a strict no kissing of the opposite rule. If you want to kiss someone of the same sex go for it, I don't have double standers. It goes for the men or the woman. But I think thats because I have no fear that he will ever fall in love with another guy and vice versa.

[Perseus 16]

Hi all! As a single male, I am going to put in my 2 cents worth here. If I were to be invited by a couple to have an encounter with them and they had a no kissing rule, I would have to decline. I can see it if it were about the men kissing, as many guys are uncomfortable about kissing a man, but not about the sex, but not to be able to kiss a lady I am with would be too much like using her. I couldn't do that to any woman even in a swinging kind of situation. It just feels wrong. Then again, the reason I like to be with couples is the intimacy and, to me, kissing goes hand-in-hand with the intimate part of the experience.

[L&K 15]

Frankly I don't think any question on here should catch flak, that is what the board is for, to someone that questions whatever it may be is a real issue.

 

Now Kissing, I don't have the problem with. My wife does. With our first couple, S did not enjoy herself since the other guy was a very pushy SOB that was clever to boot. But the only real problem she had as far as me and the other lady was kissing.

 

I personally have no interest in drop your pants let's fuck. It is cold and not worth your time.

 

I need to have a little intimacy with any lady before there is going to be any sex. It is still something we are working on, her reaction was not radical and being new it was not a question that had come up.

 

What is the answer? You have to do what you are comfortable with as a couple. For us seems it will be kiss but don't dwell on kissing. For S and myself, kissing is a long part of love making, all through the night until some body falls to sleep. With a partner other then S, it will be part of our night but not a continuous event as S and I do. It's called a compromise I guess.

[mehim 16]

Originally posted by Perseus:

but not to be able to kiss a lady I am with would be too much like using her. I couldn't do that to any woman even in a swinging kind of situation. It just feels wrong. Then again, the reason I like to be with couples is the intimacy and, to me, kissing goes hand-in-hand with the intamate part of the experience .

 

Perseus

 

Ithink to kiss somebody before you go further is a way to explore more of your partner, and you can find out a lot from a kiss. The way he kisses you will be the way he handle you later on. I think all the nerves in your body are connected together, at least mine are. When I get a sensual kiss, signals are sent to my pussy to get her ready

[hlgcpl4fun 79]

Sabrina and I have been in the LS for many years. We had lots of rules when we first started playing,  no M/F kissing was a big one. She loves F/F kissing but we felt that M/F kissing was an intimate act reserved for us. We have modified almost all of our rules through the years. The kissing rule has been bent a few times, including when we had a unicorn girlfriend for over a year, and when we had a boyfriend for an extended period. Although I am bi, M/M kissing is something I have not tried and probably will not. 

[Numex 2,409]

We have a "No Rules" rule.  Except now that we are in a closed bareback group of married couples, we don't play outside the group.  If Daniela really wanted to play outside of the group (I don't) , we would drop out of the group first and I'd be ok with it.

[Sarabeth28 22]

We have the same rules no kissing.  Same room and no anal.  

[njbm 2,868]

I understand why some people would want to be soft swap vs. full swap, but I never understood the no kissing rule. So I can put my mouth on and in another woman’s pussy, I can insert my penis into her vagina, but kissing is too intimate? Don’t get it. 

[PeterJ 940]

I had a relatively brief relationship with a woman I had known already in a social context. We both had other primary partners. After our first kiss she said that to her kissing was the most intimate sexual act. I don’t completely agree, but I don’t find very satisfying one-on-one sex that doesn’t include passionate kissing.

[couplers 4,615]

On 12/24/2023 at 11:01 PM, Sarabeth28 said:

We have the same rules no kissing.  Same room and no anal.  

That's very interesting.  I think of kissing as a middle school activity, and anal as high school activity before a girl could get to Planned Parenthood.

 

Separate room (separate time, separate place even) is a great part of the lifestyle fun.

 

May I ask, are those things (kissing, a finger in the bum, separate room) against the rules for girl - girl play?

[CCSwings13 2]

On 2/1/2002 at 11:30 PM, skeghed said:

I have seen posts by people who laugh at the thought of a couple having a rule against kissing anyone else. Please let me just post this from our point of view and then you can comment again if you wish.

 

To us - kissing conveys an emotional attachment to each other. And, also, we want to reserve something that is done only between us. Don't get me wrong - kissing is EXTREMELY arousing to us both....and is an important part of foreplay for us both.

 

But we as a couple have decided that this is one of the things that we want to enjoy only with each other.

 

Also - it is kind of disconcerting to see people get laughed at or slammed for some of the rules or restrictions or feelings that they have towards swinging. It ,may be like second nature to some couples and I am really glad for you - but to others, it is sharing one of the most intimate parts of their relationships and it takes getting used to and they have some reservations and YES! problems with it. Before you hit that "post" button, some of you might want to remember that and know that if they are taking the time to a) look for sites like this (and this is the best I have found, BTW) b) read the boards and c) post their questions that they are most likely sincere in their want to overcome any problems and are looking for sincere answers, advice and stories of experiences to help them out.

 

Laughing at their feelings/problems could be very discouraging to them and cause them to blow off the lifestyle altogether or plunge in to a situation that they are not comfortable with because they now feel like they aren't "normal" for feeling the way they do and that they should "get over it" or blow it off.

 

WOW! Didn't mean to go on like that....

 

Sooooo....anyway....is there anyone else that has the "no-kissing" rule or any other

On 2/1/2002 at 11:30 PM, skeghed said:

I have seen posts by people who laugh at the thought of a couple having a rule against kissing anyone else. Please let me just post this from our point of view and then you can comment again if you wish.

 

To us - kissing conveys an emotional attachment to each other. And, also, we want to reserve something that is done only between us. Don't get me wrong - kissing is EXTREMELY arousing to us both....and is an important part of foreplay for us both.

 

But we as a couple have decided that this is one of the things that we want to enjoy only with each other.

 

Also - it is kind of disconcerting to see people get laughed at or slammed for some of the rules or restrictions or feelings that they have towards swinging. It ,may be like second nature to some couples and I am really glad for you - but to others, it is sharing one of the most intimate parts of their relationships and it takes getting used to and they have some reservations and YES! problems with it. Before you hit that "post" button, some of you might want to remember that and know that if they are taking the time to a) look for sites like this (and this is the best I have found, BTW) b) read the boards and c) post their questions that they are most likely sincere in their want to overcome any problems and are looking for sincere answers, advice and stories of experiences to help them out.

 

Laughing at their feelings/problems could be very discouraging to them and cause them to blow off the lifestyle altogether or plunge in to a situation that they are not comfortable with because they now feel like they aren't "normal" for feeling the way they do and that they should "get over it" or blow it off.

 

WOW! Didn't mean to go on like that....

 

Sooooo....anyway....is there anyone else that has the "no-kissing" rule or any other couple that reserves something that they do just between themselves?

couple that reserves something that they do just between themselves?

Not to sound insensitive, but when my vanilla friends visit the red light districts, the no kissing rule is mentioned. They dont know we swing and I have no need or interest in going there. Swinging is about trust, giving, sharing and enjoying. No kissing would make think that the woman would feel pressured and not comfortable in the swing setting.   

[Anon321 521]

My GF and I had a no kissing rule for a long time and we got rid of it probably a couple of years ago.  And yet since then neither of us have kissed anyone else.  We decided that we just didn't want to kiss anyone else.  So while we don't have the official "rule" anymore, we both kind of still abide by it.