A proposal

[patrickmtn 21]

The lifestyle defies definition. 

[couplers 4,640]

As Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart wrote in an obscenity case:

I shall not today attempt further to define ["The Lifestyle"]. But I know it when I see it...

 

Also, the saying of anonymous origins, "I don't know much about art (the Lifestyle), but I know what I like." 

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Anything involving Consensual Non-Monogamy. Must be both.

[lcmim 1,082]

4 hours ago, GoldCoCouple said:

Anything involving Consensual Non-Monogamy. Must be both.

If we were talking about swinging that I would agree with you wholeheartedly. If the question is about lifestyle I think the umbrella is a little larger than that

 

[couplers 4,640]

50 minutes ago, lcmim said:

If the question is about lifestyle I think the umbrella is a little larger than that

Please explain.

[lcmim 1,082]

We play with a single male. We are swinging . He is not swinging as there is no consensual non monogamy on his part. All three of us are in the LS.

 

I would include those in serious committed relationships as "married". I  would not include those couples just hooking up.

 

This distinction between LS an Swinging is more for clarity than anything else.

It is good to know the general backdrop of any encounter.

[couplers 4,640]

2 hours ago, lcmim said:

I  would not include those couples just hooking up.

Good point.  And shows that there isn't a bright line between the two.  In the beginning, I was in relationships with and fucking two guys I both liked, but one was my ex-fiancé and the other a new guy.  That wasn't swinging, but eventually I married the new guy and kept the relationship with the ex.  I have no idea when the line was crossed.

Edited December 16, 2020 by couplers

[lcmim 1,082]

45 minutes ago, couplers said:

  I have no idea when the line was crossed.

I doubt it  is important that you can. The point is that you can recognize that it was.

 

The whole definition thing can get too hung up on the particular at the expense of the conceptual. It is a forest and trees scenario.

[lcmim 1,082]

In this case Swinging involves the internal dynamic of a definable set of people. 2,3,4.... it makes no difference. , as long as it is a definable set. When that set decides to start including those "outside" in the bedroom  it is swinging. If there is no set to begin with it is hooking up a LS activity. If it is not a decision of the whole set it is cheating.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Okay: Consensual Non-Monogamy by one or more members of the group.

[lcmim 1,082]

For Swinging YES

For LS no.

[Fitlakecouple 451]

20 hours ago, lcmim said:

In this case Swinging involves the internal dynamic of a definable set of people. 2,3,4.... it makes no difference. , as long as it is a definable set. When that set decides to start including those "outside" in the bedroom  it is swinging. If there is no set to begin with it is hooking up a LS activity. If it is not a decision of the whole set it is cheating.

And, not everyone in the set needs to be participating in 'sex' - it's their consent to the outside activity of one or more people in the set. A husband consenting to his wife's play with a single male, for example - the spouses are swinging; the single male is participating in the lifestyle.

[adamgunn 1,460]

Okay, I'll put in my two cents here.

 

"The LifeStyle" includes all forms of ethical non-monogamy. Note that the use of the phrase 'monogamy' indicates that there must be a couple that is married (or otherwise in a committed relationship.) There are many forms of the sport.

 

"Swinging" occurs when the married couple both participate in sexual behavior with others in the same place and at the same time, more or less.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

I think we all pretty much understand what swinging is, and that it is a subset of the L/S, the other things that fall under the L/S umbrella. I think that the 'lifestyle' would also include hotwifing, stag/vixen, cuckolding, cuckqueening, MFM, FMF, poly-amorous, as well as other sexual (and in some cases, non-sexual) activities. While it is possible for singles to participate (as in a single man in a MFM or unicorn for the women), there still needs to be a committed couple involved in some matter (otherwise it's just someone having sex with one or more partners). In the case of hotwifing (or in some ways stag/vixen,cuckolding, and cuckqueening), both parties are fully aware and agreeable with what is going on with their partners...that one (or both) are consciously and with the approval of the other having sex with others outside of the principle relationship. In order to be monogamist, you need at least two people to form the base. Then they must agree that having sex with others is acceptable with each of them. At that point it's just a question as to if they do it together, separately, or having only one doing it. I think the biggest part of any definition is the "consensual non-monogamy". If it isn't consentual, it's just cheating on your partner and I don't think any of us thinks that cheating on your partner is part of the lifestyle.