The drop

[Manitobacpl 81]

I’ve seen this term referred to before and wondered if it’s common .. it refers to the feeing immediately after an encounter , like threesomes or group or even full swap . Perhaps not immediately after but can be a few hours or even days after ? Feelings of anger , guilt , shame have all been reported. I do know that the first time we did threesome with another man , Marilyn felt down about it . Took a bit of time but she got over that and now looking forwards to a new liaison with a new man we have been chatting with but she worries if she feels the same down feelings afterwards again . Any tips on dealing with them ?? I should add that I suffered no such feelings .. 

[couplers 4,654]

It's been the same from the beginning until now.  After sex with a man or a woman, whether I've been dominating or dominated, I have feelings of confidence and power.  Watching hubby with another woman makes me jealous, inadequate, a little mad at myself even, but afterwards it's all "Can't wait to do that again!" (And to fuck him myself.)

 

The guys are interested in watching me (or Lora or Clair) before they orgasm, but after a guy cums he pretty much loses interest for a little while regardless of what else is going on ("have fun, Pet.")

Edited December 16, 2020 by couplers

[njbm 2,880]

The mind is complex. Never know what will come up. 

[adamgunn 1,460]

If you're new to this game, or think of sex with religious connotations, then the 'drop' is rather common. You're stretching your mind, wondering if what you did was moral. If it was a good time, that's even more reason to have a downer - after all, you think, you did something bad, how can it feel so good?

 

But then, you do it again and again, you wrap your head around it, and (unless something strange and less than positive happened) you simply say, "Yeah, let's do that some more."

 

It's just a matter of gaining perspective.

[couplers 4,654]

24 minutes ago, adamgunn said:

wondering if what you did was moral

Looking back on my relatively strict and well-indoctrinated Catholic upbringing, I am amazed how many aspects of sex were considered immoral.  

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Strict Christian upbringing here, but same result. Guilt (combined with an incredible feeling of love for my partner...like fireworks in the sky) is the main feeling I experience mainly due to the upbringing, but it's amazing on how quickly that passes now. Mostly I'm just amazed that we have a relationship that is THIS strong and open that we can do the things we do...together.

[couplers 4,654]

6 hours ago, GoldCoCouple said:

Mostly I'm just amazed that we have a relationship that is THIS strong and open that we can do the things we do...together.

In our poly family it is the ability to love the others as well.  With all that is flying about not only that I love my husband, but also another man, as well as being happy that they love Clair and Lora, and that the deepest bond, romantically, sexually, and emotionally is among us women.  Sharing children with mixed parentage cements it all.

[Idahocouple6969 294]

As we were into BDSM before swinging I can tell you that after a particularly intense scene you often experience this. Google aftercare in BDSM.

 

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Quote

In our poly family it is the ability to love the others as well.  With all that is flying about not only that I love my husband, but also another man, as well as being happy that they love Clair and Lora, and that the deepest bond, romantically, sexually, and emotionally is among us women.

This is something else that got me in more than a little trouble growing up (not just a strict religious upbringing, but Christian schooling as well): questioning how we are only 'allowed' to love one person. So we only love our partner? What about the people in our past that we loved, and still may have strong feelings for? Is that love just supposed to stop when we meet 'the one'. I know all about the three kinds of 'love' (eros, agape, and philia) but I couldn't get anyone to agree on what each meant, let alone have put into context. Eros is lust...physical love...no, it's romantic love. After all, the word stems from the Greek word erotas, which translates to “intimate love.” But then why did the Greeks viewed eros as dangerous due to the loss of control that occurs when someone is struck by this kind of love (i.e. Cupid's arrow). So is eros the good kind of love or the bad kind? And what about in the Old Testament where a man could (and usually did) have multiple wives...did he only really 'love' one of them and not the remainder? I could go on, but it was usually around here I was sent to the office until the end of the period.

 

Bottom line, I think that love isn't limited...only people are as they try to limit love to whatever definition they want it to mean. What we have found out is that if you have a strong enough relationship (built on love/trust/communication), love only grows larger as you allow it to be spread to more people. The problem is the vast majority of people don't really have a relationship strong enough to accept this so they choose to limit the amount of love they can give or receive. Sorry...this just touched a subject that I have had difficulty understanding for years and have spent a great deal of time pondering (but now have what I think is a better grasp of)...rant over.