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Do you prefer to swing with people you have already played with or do you prefer NRE?

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Do you prefer the same partners recurrently or new partners for “new relationship energy?” 

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A good mixture of both. always incorporate new people into the fold. 
More options for more fun. 

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We are mostly looking for friends with benefits so we prefer swinging with people we know...that not to say that it isn't fun to occasionally swing with someone new.

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If it's a couple we get to swing with I like the excitement of it being someone new.  If it's a MFM I think I prefer one of my buddies.  If it's just my GF on her own or if I'm just watching her with someone else I like either.  Basically we mix it up all the time and that seems to work for us.

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We usually went to our local swingers club and hooked up with someone new. We very rarely hooked up with the same people twice... with the exception of my fun but ultimately ill-fated FWB relationship and a guy at the club who my wife hooked up with a couple of times "because he was available" but ultimately turned down because he was getting a bad attitude about it. I don't think it was even an NRE thing. We were just the "one night stand" type at the time. Not sure what we'd be now, when/if we have the opportunity again.

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This goes back and forth with time. We started with people we knew and would see repeatedly, mainly because it gave Mrs. E a lot of comfort about pushing some personal limits. As time has progressed a little bit, and now that we've both been away from it for a while because of the circumstances this year, we're both excited to try new people, although we'll still see our regulars as soon as we can, too.

 

We're both just eager to be social and outwardly sexual again with more bodies, new or familiar. She's gotten more comfortable flirting and sending pics of herself from messing around with Tinder to pass the time while we've been shut down, the single woman we play with wants to have a foursome when the border opens again and her favorite friend-with-benefits can visit again, the married woman I got to be a bull for in February wants to get together again for another solo visit. We both think trying a club or organized party might finally be on the agenda once things open up, although maybe we're all talk as we've always chickened out.

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I am thrilled just to have sex as my favorite is still the one I have sex with everyday. I know that’s not swinging, it is still pretty great. 

My wife is the one who started me in the swinging world when she asked me to be with someone else, something I couldn’t refuse. Without being specific it was creepy being watched while fucking someone. My wife continues to set us up with meetings and every time I get to taste and fuck some strange is the ultimate dream and I can’t believe she encourages it. I have never met a new pussy I didn’t want to be in and am looking forward to many more. I am also happy to go back to any repeaters as well. 

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On 1/19/2021 at 1:48 PM, PSULioness said:

My husband would get me mad when he would say he got new pussy. As I became more comfortable being with my bi side, .. It was always exciting to see someone who was a good friend back in school was now as bi as I was.

This is a variation on the saying, "Don't get mad, get even."  A bisexual woman doesn't need to get mad, she can partake in getting some fun pussy just like the guy.  It has become a shared joy for my wife and I to play with the same woman.  Her favorite encounter is FFM, either with me or another couple. 

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On 1/23/2021 at 7:56 PM, Numex said:

It has become a shared joy for my wife and I to play with the same woman.  Her favorite encounter is FFM, either with me or another couple. 

The more I think about this the more I have mixed feelings. Yes I enjoy doing things with my husband and one of my friends, I also enjoy being one to one with a girlfriend. Don’t misunderstand me, I love being with my husband and enjoying things together, I also enjoy being with one person as the fun is completely different. My husband totally understands this and will suggest times for me to be alone. With our semi isolation this year and our partners very limited he also gets alone time with my very good friend. 

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3 hours ago, PSULioness said:

I enjoy doing things with my husband and one of my friends, I also enjoy being one to one with a girlfriend.

How about you being the third for another couple?  I enjoy that kind of FFM/FMF play, sort of being their plaything and being the intermediary in their sexual pleasure.

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Thank you for your thoughtful reply.

 

7 hours ago, PSULioness said:

If I had my choice, my husband alone first, and then I enjoy one on ones. 

I can appreciate that.  Although I often have one-on-ones with Clair and Lora, somehow the FF is better when there is an M as well.

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You make many good points and I (and my wife) empathize and agree with them, especially about alone and multiple partner play.  Although I would say that my wife actually has a romantic relationship with both spouses of one couple of the four couples in our closed group, there's nothing wrong with it and it doesn't bother or threaten me.  Maybe you're right to just call it a "special thing."

 

Considering how many couples here, together for many years, have trouble navigating the waters of being non-monogamous, I give you much credit.  Or perhaps it is because of you and your husband (and your play partners) not having the burden of years already together made you all more flexible. 

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Honestly.....we don't really care. We are in it for the sex. If we happen to make new friends great. Buuuut one and done is good too. Quite bluntly, we like to fuck other people. Our goal is for EACH OTHER to have the greatest, most back breaking, mind blowing sex. If we are totally exhausted and can hardly get up the next day (we are old) then we have succeed. And if we don't meet someone(s) then we had awesome evening out with each other. But yeah we are in it for the sex.

 

I gotta admire @couplers and anyone in a poly relationship. There is no way I could do it. It's not that I'm jelous. I just couldn't figure out how to divide my time up. Hats off to the folks that make it work especially with kids.  Of course where we live you would get tarred and feathered and run outta town. But I know my limits. And at this point in my life I don't think I could adapt to another person in our relationship. We have been married for 38 years and we know each other pretty well.  My wife can look across a room and tell you who I'm going to be attracted to ?.

 

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1 hour ago, Idahocouple6969 said:

I gotta admire @couplers and anyone in a poly relationship. There is no way I could do it. It's not that I'm jelous. I just couldn't figure out how to divide my time up. Hats off to the folks that make it work especially with kids.

Funny that you say this, since I think that our poly family is easier than conventional swinging.  The biggest advantage is that we are a team that is ready to take on whatever challenge arises, with the housework but especially with the children.  One or more of us out-of-town, the others fill in; pick up some groceries or the kids on a moment's notice.  We women even breast fed each others babies.  We don't usually figure out how to divide up our time, we just do whatever it is that needs to be done.  Speaking of dividing responsibilities, we did reach the point where Clair quit her job to be the stay-at-home mom, a role that she loves, and that Lora and I are happy to give her.  The remaining four of us each give her a fifth of our total earnings, salary/bonuses/options, as compensation.

 

The big difference is the relationships between David and Red, and Lora, Clair, and me.  The guys are friends, have a buddy relationship that does not involve romance or sex; Lora, Clair and I are full-on Lesbians for each other.  As to sex in general, it is really easy for us - no traveling to clubs, meet-'n'-greets, house parties, etc., just our code phrase, "Hey, you got a couple of minutes?"

 

1 hour ago, Idahocouple6969 said:

Of course where we live you would get tarred and feathered and run outta town.

We are as discreet as possible, and being in the liberal northeast there are a lot of other more interesting freaks for people to talk about than us outward conservatively appearing parents.  The big one is the school, but they understand any of us adults has authority and custody over all of the children.  We have never given them any drama and they have never given us any problems.  Although I will repeat from a previous post that to do the poly family with children mixed among the men and women right involves lawyers, accountants, and insurance people.

 

1 hour ago, Idahocouple6969 said:

And at this point in my life I don't think I could adapt to another person in our relationship. We have been married for 38 years and we know each other pretty well.

An advantage that we had is that we started in our early twenties, so this is the normal for us.

 

1 hour ago, Idahocouple6969 said:

We are in it for the sex.

We started by being in it for sex, but open to romance, which eventually happened.

Edited by couplers
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Nothing compares with the first man we met and I was alone with while my husband was alone with his wife. Over the years we have been with them over a dozen times and it still excites me just in planning our meetings. 

We have been with others that have been fun to be with and still I find that first lover the most exciting. 

There is a new energy with new partners which is exciting and I have enjoyed those experiences, just not the way that first experience did. 

At first I didn’t want any new experiences as I was content waiting for the next time with the original couple and we discussed if we should expand our adventure. I was completely negative regarding me playing with another woman as it upset me when it was pushed. I needed to explore that scenario on my own terms, I never wanted it to be exhibitionist play for others to gawk at me, including my husband. 

I did have that new energy alone with another woman with no pressure put upon me to do things. With no pressure I explored and enjoyed in a much different way from being in a couple scene or being alone with her husband. 

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I like separate room play. If the other couple is making a lot of noise, I find it distracting. I also want my wife and me to have the freedom to pursue things without being shy or worried about my reaction. 
 

We generally play together with other couples. If they are a new couple to us, we usually play together to make sure there is no funny business. 
 

To answer my own question, we play with 3-5 couples periodically and we are open to new couples, too. We have shut down during the pandemic. Look forward to normalcy. 

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2 hours ago, Shore2Please said:

I needed to explore that scenario on my own terms

This applies to all scenarios and is something that all men need to understand.  I was fortunate that my husband did - he gave me a two years head start with being non-monogamous by having a boyfriend, and when I decided I wanted him to play too, he made it very comfortable for me by allowing me to choose and recruit the women.  He also let me explore my Lesbian side without pushing or any other interference, just listening and supporting me.

 

2 hours ago, Shore2Please said:

We have been with others that have been fun to be with and still I find that first lover the most exciting. 

There is a new energy with new partners which is exciting and I have enjoyed those experiences, just not the way that first experience did.

As our poly family formed we did do some limited swinging, but I agree while that was fun, I still prefer bouncing among the lovers who form our family.  The excitement (and that includes my jealousy knowing that they love and screw each other) hasn't diminished.

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On 1/18/2021 at 10:05 AM, njbm said:

Do you prefer the same partners recurrently or new partners for “ new relationship energy?” 

We just talked about it and honestly it doesn't matter. I guess we are shallow and uncaring LoL we just like to fuck other people. If you are half way interesting smell good (Mrs ID says) and not pushy we are pretty much good to go. We come to play.

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11 hours ago, Idahocouple6969 said:

I guess we are shallow

Nothing wrong with such activity, which we did more of earlier in our lives.  It is the way we are with the current boyfriend that we women share, just supplementary play for when our guys can't keep up.  

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Been watching this topic for a while.

 

We rarely meet single men but when we do, we prefer to scratch the itch and move on. This may happen every year or two. Not looking for driveway no dials, late night boots calls, or to hang out in a non-sexual way. 
 

Couples, we have a similar preference but have had multiple meets with 3 couples that went on for about a year in each case. At first there is that nervous sexual energy but in all cases went to a comfort level that we weren’t going to cross a boundary, say something to offend, or any of those things that can sometimes be difficult to navigate in a group of 4.

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