Your reaction when your partner suggested swinging

[findinganswers 369]

I usually read that it’s the man that suggested swinging, for us it was my wife, how did you react? I figure most will immediately say they didn’t hesitate and jumped at the suggestion. I think that is a too simple answer. My first feelings were why did she want or find the need to go to someone else for sexual satisfaction, was I not enough. She did explain that our friends were swingers and it sounded fun and thought she would enjoy sex with her girlfriend. 

We have now been playing with our friends for years and I have no regrets, they are our pandemic lockdown relief and we were talking how they got me to agree in the beginning. 

[Anon321 521]

We began as FWB so it was easy for us to make the leap because we didn't have that emotional attachment at the time.  Once we became exclusive it just kind of carried over.  So there wasn't much of a reaction by either of us when it was suggested because we were just experimenting sexually.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

As I remember, it was something like 'Thank you God! I'm the luckiest man alive'. Actually, we were talking about our past sex lives and her and her ex tried to breathe life into their failing marriage by swinging with their best friends. It didn't work...in fact it made things worse for them, but she also said that she wasn't opposed to the idea of trying it again. That's when we first came onto this board in an effort to find out information and how to do this 'right'. Took our time, but we started from there and it has been a wonderful ride ever since.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

When JoAnn casually suggested this, the little devil that sits on my shoulder whispered in my ear, "Don't answer that. You probably left that computer switched on showing that swinger hook-up Website."  The angel that sits on my other shoulder whispered, "The truth will set you free." Both whispered at the same time, "don't just sit there. Your silence will condemn you." So I said, kind of like cast member Pete Davidson of Saturday Night Live, "OK." 

[HerSweetness 141]

M and I were discussing clothing optional resorts and the conversation just evolved from there. Out of the two of us, she is the only one with LS experience having participated in an FMF years back, but talking about her experience and educating ourselves more about activities at resorts, has opened our minds about the LS in general. She would love for us to experience at minimum another FMF but we are becoming more open to MFM and swapping at this point. This time away from others has really given us an opportunity to discuss things more and develop our boundaries. 
 

So I would say, we both discussed it together and have both very much become open and excited about the aspects. 

[cplnluv1 871]

Our talk started with Linda’s past play with girls. I know I was a slob asking her all the juicy parts of what they did. I would complain that I never got to enjoy watching her having lesbian sex, I think I talked way too much about the details. Never thinking she would agree to finding a woman to join us she did. Needless to say I was ecstatic, just the planning and talking about it. Finding the unicorn never happened and it was Linda who suggested a couple, she now says it was my suggestion. I know I had a real problem getting it in my head that a guy was going to be with us. She kept saying we can call it off and I never did. Looking for the right couple was fun and we found plenty of idiot men. We found a couple where the man was way more endowed than me and that was the hardest part. The best part of that meet, our first, was the big dick was a Big Dick, he was an idiot. But we had our first swing and I thought the experience of watching her with a man wasn’t horrible and watching her with the female was everything I hoped it would be. 

[couplers 4,614]

The suggestion for nonmonogamy came to me from a different angle.  When I was first dating David, the man who would become my husband, I talked about how I had recently broken up with Red, my fiancé and moved out of the apartment we shared.  I had decided that Red wasn't marriage material - I was a professional woman in the corporate world and he was the freelance creative type; although he is a wonderful man I couldn't see us having a home and children together.  But I wasn't over him and was still seeing him, still sleeping with him, although I had fallen in love with David and started sleeping with him as well.  Red knew because I had told him straight out, but David just picked up on it and didn't even give me a choice: he didn't ask, but told me he knew that I was still seeing and fucking Red (How did he know?  I was very careful with what I was doing.) and that he was fine with it so long as we could continue and deepen our relationship.  They met, got along, I had sex with one in front of the other, had threesomes.  David asked me to marry him with the stipulation that "he was fine with it so long as we could continue and deepen our relationship."  It all made me feel confident, powerful, and it was a real ego boost - that I was getting what I deserved.

 

Now we live in a poly family with my two men and two other women.  We have children by both men and I realize that my assessment about Red was wrong, he is a successful free-spirit and a wonderful father.

 

BTW, it was I who after two years suggested that hubby sleep with other women as well.  It made me very jealous and still does, but I love it.

Edited January 26, 2021 by couplers

[Numex 2,409]

My wife and I talked about our exes and the sex we had with them from early on in dating; it was our foreplay.  It was I, however, that suggested to Daniela that she reconnect with two of her favorites.  She wasn't all that surprised since she knew that the stories of her having sex with other men turned me on, and was eager to take up my suggestion.

 

After a no sex date between the two of them, then dinner with the three of us, she started playing alone with them separately - each didn't know about the other.  I then asked if I could watch.  She was all for it and the one guy was good as well.  The other was not, but she made it a condition of continuing to access her pussy, so he did too and it went better than expected.  We then had MFMs with them (individually) as well.

 

After those guys lost their novelty for us (they were exes for a reason), we both wanted to continue, but chose to be with couples since we both wanted female play as well.  

Edited February 3, 2021 by Numex