What does 'HWP' mean in swinger profiles?

[Cnj2004 15]

When reading swinger ads and profile, what does 'HWP' mean?

 

Thanks!

[kpennink 15]

Most commonly: height/weight proportional, presumably to one another. SB has a great swinger dictionary; check it out.

[SluttyWife 17]

Height weight proportionate...A good gauge for that is not being wider than you are tall, I think.

[Weezie 16]

We don't find this to be a very good gauge. Everyone's view of HWP is different it seems. We get exact height and weight (if they aren't lying) and ask for pictures and then decide.

[kpennink 15]

Echoing what Weezie said, take what's said in an ad/e-mail with a liberal grain of salt.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

There are a lot of views on this and it's something that's come up on here many times. You might want to do a search here for "HWP" and read through the topics that come up.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

I'll probably get some hate mail for writing this.

 

I will comment on HWP because of my experience thus far with using the words "height-weight-proportionate" on the swinger sites we use to describe what we are looking for in couples.

 

It was, we felt, the diplomatic way to let people know that how others look physically--in regards to weight--does play a role in how WE are sexually attracted TO someone.

 

Yet, with HWP mentioned, we still kept receiving introductions from people who were considerably overweight and not well-proportioned or physically a turn-on for us. So I agree with Weezie, it doesn't do much good to use the term.

 

We have recently made a rewrite that says: "We are not attracted to overweight people." We'll see what happens.

 

Before everyone bombards me with let me add that this is a prerequisite made solely on our sexual preferences (not friendship requirements). I would imagine some of you seek out playmates that have certain physical attributes as well.

[artboy 15]

I thought this was the lifestyle for each and everyone. WE don't like large overweight folks either, or many other things some folks may list in there "profiles". We don't like a lot of hair, or hairy areas...but that our preference and we tailor our searches to those folks in that criteria.....

 

We have been blatantly lied to, and told things recently that were just not true. HWP to us "is what WE (Stacie and I find height weight proportional). Not everyone is going to be or expected to be attracted to each persons they meet. Hell...I'm 6'4" and 230 lbs, my wife is 5'0" and right at 100 lbs, we are not HWP to each other , but we know what WE like.

 

We also look like Mutt and Jeff...hahahaha

 

But again this is OUR preference...and those folks that don't fit into our choice of playmates, well...those are the ones we don't share with. HWP has many meaning to us, but for us physical attraction to US is what we are looking for!

[yawanna 17]

There is the common knowledge that it isn't the easiest thing in the world to find two, let alone four, socially and/or sexually compatible people.

 

I don't understand your not just putting an ad up and seeing who responds. You will have to send off many 'thanks but no thanks' emails anyway...

 

I understand the thinking that if you are very specific you will get better responses. The danger therein I believe lies in an ad coming across as shallow or pompous, as in we only want hard bodies. Raises the expectation level on the part of responders as well, as in you darn well better be Jessica and Nick at least.

 

Now, if you are prepared to get only a few responses to your ad, more power to you.

 

If, however, you are looking to get connected in this lifestyle and expand your exponential circle, then it may serve you better to leave most doors open, and decline politely and respectfully when you have no interest in a certain couple. Which may not always have anything to do with HWP. Could be their deficiencies in spelling or grammar, too. Or, they smoke. Or...

 

Personally... I'm no fan of dirty talk or the C word. Is weight really as much a deal breaker for you as crass talk is for me? Because if you are hoping to get connected in the community, you kinda have to be kind and respectful to most people when they are the same to you, to be able to move on and meet more people.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

Thank you for your input.

 

I'd like to respond to some of your comments.

 

We do have two ads. I think it takes not only time but a lot of guts to send an introduction and wait to see if you will be rejected. I always try to be kind and respectful when returning a "thanks but no thanks" reply.

 

I do not want to come across shallow or pompous in my ads...I truly worry about this. Yet, I feel it is best to let people know from the start what we expect. And wanting people who are not overweight is just one of the criterion we use. We have many.

 

Yes, I'm a particular person, but this is true in all aspects of my life.

 

You said, "Is weight really as much of a deal breaker for you as crass talk is for me?" If you're serious, yes it may be. I use "cock" and "cunt" (I presume these are the C words you speak of) when I am comfortable with someone and feeling cocky...ooops!...sorry Yawanna.

 

I learn something each day. Who knows what my perspective will be next week.

[fun_pairTX 26]

Whenever I see really exacting "qualifications" listed in an ad or as a profile for prospective playmates, I immediately dismiss the writer(s), but I am sorely tempted to respond asking "How much does the job pay?"

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

Exacting "qualifications" isn't all about what you write, it's also about what you look for behind the lines.

 

Looking for fun, friends, and a good time.

 

That isn't enough for me to go on.

 

Look at it this way. You and I have saved each other from saying "Thanks, but no thanks."

[WesternSwing 504]

Maybe the part of the answer is for dating sites to offer a more detailed search when it comes to weight, height, hair, boob and penis size, etc. Some do, for a premium price. Others don't at all. Then as long as everyone is honest you can easily seek out the people that interest you without offending those that are not attractive to you, but may be to others.

 

I don't dis anyone for looking for a certain type of person that turns them on, but some of the personal ads are downright mean in their wording. Enough so that even a GQ or Playboy model would feel inadequate.

 

I wonder how many responses these people get?

[BD2 15]

As newbies to swinging I was really taken back by an email issue.

 

Just recently we received an email from a member saying they were interested. Unfortunately we weren't, for whatever reasons (our own reasons.) We responded with the standard reply, which to me is a "nice" way of saying thanks, but we are not interested at this time. (We've received a couple of these ourselves and never minded anyone being upfront. Actually prefer they are for whatever reason so none of us have wasted our time.

 

Unfortunately this couple did mind our reply and sent back a rather curt response. Was I pissed off? You bet! I think I was more upset that they immediately believed we were "ranking" them and did not give a thought as to whether we may have had other reasons - any reasons - that did not concern them or require explanation from us.

 

We are new to all of this, but this really ticked me off. Any suggestions on responding to emails that we should be aware of, or is this scenario just out of the ordinary?

[Vjklander 138]

Rude people go straight to my mental 'ignore' list. They certainly don't deserve a response and I have much better things to expend energy on than dealing with them. Someone said "I need not attend every argument to which I am invited" Good advice and I think the sentiment applies here.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

I agree with Vjklander that if after sending a courteous "no thank you" you receive an irate response in return, don't communicate again.

 

These people are only looking for a fight, and writing again will only feed their anger--which I believe is what these people live for.

 

We have never had such an experience. Everyone has been very nice and many often write back with an e-mail that says, "Please keep us in mind."

 

Don't give the bugger another thought.

[bear_n_bunny 43]

Originally posted by BD2

Just recently we received an email from a member saying they were interested. Unfortunately we weren't, for whatever reasons (our own reasons.) We responded with the standard reply, which to me is a "nice" way of saying thanks, but we are not interested at this time. (We've received a couple of these ourselves and never minded anyone being upfront. Actually prefer they are for whatever reason so none of us have wasted our time.

 

Unfortunately this couple did mind our reply and sent back a rather curt response. Was I pissed off? You bet! I think I was more upset that they immediately believed we were "ranking" them and did not give a thought as to whether we may have had other reasons - any reasons - that did not concern them or require explanation from us.

 

We are new to all of this, but this really ticked me off. Any suggestions on responding to emails that we should be aware of, or is this scenario just out of the ordinary?

 

While most swinging rules and definitions are up for individual interpretation, there is one that is not. No means No. I think most people send "No Thank Yous" in the same manner they would be like to be told "Thanks, but no thanks." Heck, there more reasons not to want to get together with a couple than there are reasons to get together with them. I personally find it flattering when anyone takes the time to respond to our adds, and answer in kind.

 

While I don't think the rude response was a one of kind event, it is, in my experience, out of the ordinary.

[good times 991]

About the original question...

 

Are you all saying HWP doesn't mean "Hottie Without Pants "?

[Alura 2,774]

Some months ago some friends here on this board told us we could find a picture of them on SwapperNet or some such website. We don't do ads, but we visited the site to look at the picture. In order to do so, we had to register and in doing so, posted an ad.

 

We saw the picture, but began to get responses to the ad we placed. We took the time to tell each couple exactly why our ad was on there, that we don't do ads. Don't care to meet folks that way and, although they seemed a nice couple, we wouldn't be interested in meeting them. We saved a copy to make replies simple, copy and paste.

 

Some folks we didn't hear from again, some wrote nice "thank you" notes, but we received no nasty replies from anyone.

 

We think, "Thanks, but no thanks," is a bit curt. Since we had placed the ad, they had no way of knowing that we didn't want to hear from folks that way. A little effort saved a lot of hurt feelings.

 

After a month, the free ad went away and the "challenge" was over.

[b_and_sc 16]

We've never had anybody respond with anger at being told 'no thanks'...but we have had a few who have written us back week after week after week...I'm flattered, but what part of "no" don't some people get???