Is Oral Sex the Most Intimate act?

[ROCKlandCpl 451]

People may think that intercourse is the ultimate act of sex and that going all the way means having a penis in the vagina. 

My husband and I have oral sex only quite frequently and both feel very satisfied. Some mornings I will wake my husband up with a blowjob and not wanting anything in return and he will wake me up other mornings with a tongue pleasing wake up. 

We were with the couple we have been meeting and I started to do what I normally do with my husband by kissing our friend’s penis. I enjoyed his reactions and continued to give him a blowjob and started thinking how beautiful his penis was. He tried several times to stop me and go further and told him to just relax and enjoy as I enjoyed doing it. I licked and sucked, took him deep in and then only the head. I explored his walnuts with slight pressure. Several times he tried to stop me and didn’t. 

I could hear my husband talking in the other room and figured they finished what they were doing. 

When my friend came he said that was the most intimate thing he has experienced. Is it?

[AndrewandAnn 360]

6 minutes ago, ROCKlandCpl said:

People may think that intercourse is the ultimate act of sex and that going all the way means having a penis in the vagina. 

My husband and I have oral sex only quite frequently and both feel very satisfied. Some mornings I will wake my husband up with a blowjob and not wanting anything in return and he will wake me up other mornings with a tongue pleasing wake up. 

We were with the couple we have been meeting and I started to do what I normally do with my husband by kissing our friend’s penis. I enjoyed his reactions and continued to give him a blowjob and started thinking how beautiful his penis was. He tried several times to stop me and go further and told him to just relax and enjoy as I enjoyed doing it. I licked and sucked, took him deep in and then only the head. I explored his walnuts with slight pressure. Several times he tried to stop me and didn’t. 

I could hear my husband talking in the other room and figured they finished what they were doing. 

When my friend came he said that was the most intimate thing he has experienced. Is it?

Bill Clinton didn't think so. Lol... ?

 

Personally, I draw no distinction between the intimacy of one sex act versus another. Is anal sex more intimate than vaginal sex? Is oral sex more intimate than vaginal sex? I don't recognize any difference per se and have never attempted to grade them on an intimacy scale.

 

However, if you're asking me when do I feel most "connected" with my lover when having sex, it's a tie between intercourse and sixty-nine.  Likewise, I've never asked Ann her opinion on this subject, but I am fairly confident she would say intercourse.

 

I think the answers will vary considerably based upon the individual, but I could be wrong.

[Numex 2,416]

Depends on the person.  For my wife Daniela with the couple she has a strong emotional connection with, she will do oral on the husband to completion, then snowball with his wife.  They also bond where the other husband fucks my wife as she does oral on his wife.  After he drops his load in her, his wife will eat the cum out of Daniela until the second cumming.

 

  For me it is regular penis-in-vagina intercourse with bareback ejaculation.

[Fitcouple1997 9]

1 hour ago, ROCKlandCpl said:

People may think that intercourse is the ultimate act of sex and that going all the way means having a penis in the vagina. 

My husband and I have oral sex only quite frequently and both feel very satisfied. Some mornings I will wake my husband up with a blowjob and not wanting anything in return and he will wake me up other mornings with a tongue pleasing wake up. 

We were with the couple we have been meeting and I started to do what I normally do with my husband by kissing our friend’s penis. I enjoyed his reactions and continued to give him a blowjob and started thinking how beautiful his penis was. He tried several times to stop me and go further and told him to just relax and enjoy as I enjoyed doing it. I licked and sucked, took him deep in and then only the head. I explored his walnuts with slight pressure. Several times he tried to stop me and didn’t. 

I could hear my husband talking in the other room and figured they finished what they were doing. 

When my friend came he said that was the most intimate thing he has experienced. Is it?

For me, oral sex and kissing on the mouth are definitely the most intimate and VULNERABLE sexual acts. When I was married to my first husband and the marriage was falling apart, I was miserable. But I could always knock out some vaginal  or anal sex with him. It felt good and I could just enjoy it for what it was. Totally different for me than oral sex or kissing. Especially oral sex being done on me. It's so much a mental enjoyment as well as physical. At the end of my first marriage I just couldn't let him go down on me.  I couldn't separate the emotional from the physical. That's not to say that I don't enjoy oral from people that I don't love. I do! It's my fav! But I have to enjoy the person or at least not have negative feelings towards them. I hope that makes sense. 

Edited March 6, 2021 by Fitcouple1997

[Fitlakecouple 451]

We certainly feel that oral is more intimate than vaginal sex. And, because of that, we can't really process the "soft swap only" rule that works for some couples. We are more than happy to play that way - just don't get the rationale. Frankly, some of the hottest play sessions we've had were 'soft swap'

[couplers 4,640]

It depends on whether I am with a man or another woman.

[adamgunn 1,460]

I would suggest that 'romantic' sex is much more intimate than oral, for me. If I'm with a woman who's not my wife and we get into a groove of kissing and touching each other, looking into each other's eyes, I feel so close to her. Then, when we're in intercourse, completely linked, in cowgirl or perhaps missionary, and we're slowly thrusting together, I feel something that's different from just sex. 

 

Oral sex, either her giving me a blow job or me eating her out, isn't like that. I'm not putting it down, but I don't feel it's as personal as 'romantic' sex.

 

Lest you think I'm saying that you have to be in love to have 'romantic' sex, I'm not. I've had that kind of sex with women I've met a few minutes before at a club, never seen them again. It can be just a karma you get into for a time.

[christnthms 326]

I think the situation is really everything. I guess about everyone on this site has been able to enjoy casual sex, at least to some degree. I think that most of us also see a clear distinction between casual sex and the type of intimacy that is possible through sex with someone you love.  

 

For me, I think that oral occupies both extremes.

It can be extremely casual. In most situations, I'm happy giving out oral like a party favor and I've had several FWB situations over the years where the lady will occasionally want to blow me and that's it. This type of oral, maybe because it doesn't even require both parties to undress, feels the most casual to me.  

 

Likewise, with someone I'm in love with, giving oral is a very purely giving act. Especially when including the kissing and touching that is part of that sort of sex, and the fact that when giving oral you're not distracted by your own urgency of sensation, you can focus 100% on your partner.  

 

Vaginal or anal, feel to me like they can't be quite as casual as the casual sort of oral, simply because it requires more physical access be granted and taken. It just can't be done without a certain amount of closeness. On the other hand, even if it starts out as very generous and focused on the partner, as either of us gets close to orgasm, that takes hold and becomes the focus. That's not a criticism, just an observation.

 

It does mean, for me at least, that the intercourse necessarily includes portions of self focus, that isn't necessarily part of oral. So, in a wide spectrum of differing levels of intimacy, I see the two extremes as solidly occupied by oral. 

[Lionheart72 2,190]

I think it all depends on what the people involved bring to it. Sex of any kind can be a lot of things... it can be joyous and thrilling, quiet and intimate, enthusiastic and passionate, dull and mechanical, deeply spiritual, purely physical.  It can be an act of love, lust, friendship, pain, rage, boredom, obligation, or simple need. I think that's what makes it so interesting.

 

It sounds like your friend really enjoyed the blowjob and wasn't expecting it. I'd hazard a guess he'd never experienced one quite like that before. So, for him it was an intense thing. That's probably good.

[PSULioness 847]

An intimate act is different than intimacy. 

 

From the internet Healthline:

Intimacy is closeness between people in personal relationships.

It’s what builds over time as you connect with someone, grow to care about each other, and feel more and more comfortable during your time together. 

It can include physical or emotional closeness, or even a mix of the two.

 

Intimacy isn’t the same as Sex. 

It’s possible to have sex without intimacy as well as intimacy without sex.

 

I am intimate with very few people. I am in deeply in love with one person, my husband. I do not consider myself polyamorous even though I am intimate with others. Oral sex is sex, sex that could be intimate or just a sex act. Thinking about intimacy, the sex I have with most of our friends is just for fun. I have had sex in the past years with tens of people, sex not intimacy. I have both girlfriends and guys orgasm from oral sex and never felt intimacy. 

Do other ladies feel a sense of intimacy if a man enters you from behind, brings you to a satisfying orgasm and no other attachment? 

I am sure many of you have oral sex because you enjoy giving it. For whatever reason enjoyment of giving pleasure is pleasurable to me. I have given long slow blowjobs to many and never considered it intimate. 

[Numex 2,416]

4 hours ago, PSULioness said:

enjoyment of giving pleasure is pleasurable to me.

As a man, I find this to be very true.  I have never had a woman ask me to do something that I didn't enjoy, even if it was only her getting off.  It is the only time I like "dominating" a woman - by her telling me what to do and enjoying it so much that she needs me to continue. 

[ROCKlandCpl 451]

23 hours ago, PSULioness said:

Intimacy isn’t the same as Sex. 

It’s possible to have sex without intimacy as well as intimacy without sex.

I agree totally with this comment and I was amazed he made a intimacy comment which made me wonder about his relationship with his wife. 

 

The intimacy feeling could have come from us being in separate rooms for the first time. Our previous meetings with them were always playing in the same room possibly not being totally free, I found myself peeking over and watching. It was my idea to try separate this time and he was a little hesitant to leave his wife alone. 

 

Alone we were able to talk openly about why we were swinging, what made them interested and who brought it up. He told me his wife was the initiator after watching numerous lesbian scenes on tv and movies. I joked that I should be in the other room then. 

 

I had no plan other then having an hour alone with him, he is the first man I had been alone with since meeting my husband. Nervous/excited and not sure what I could do. I lost the sense of time as I went between his legs and started to enjoy the differences of his penis to the one I was so used to. 

 

I didn't think of this as intimacy, I didn’t do much thinking of much more than the erect penis.  

[Anon321 522]

I don't think so at all.  My GF has had far more cocks in her mouth than anywhere else so you could say it's the least intimate sex act or at least much less "exclusive" sex act for her.  I guess it depends on the person.

[MidwestHoneys 358]

I never thought sex with strangers is intimate. My wife has sucked cocks of guys she hardly knows and has eaten plenty of pussy. 

[EastInWest 1,524]

The word "intimate" is a tough one to nail down. Knowing something "intimately" can mean to know it very well, and your lips and tongue are some of the most powerful sense organs. All five senses are involved. So in that meaning, yes, you're intensely intimate with what you're working on.

 

On the other hand, it lacks the intense personal intimacy of being a potentially procreative act, and perhaps of being face-to-face with your partner when you orgasm.

[Anon321 522]

On 3/9/2021 at 10:41 AM, MidwestHoneys said:

I never thought sex with strangers is intimate. My wife has sucked cocks of guys she hardly knows and has eaten plenty of pussy. 

I agree.  My GF gives out blowjobs like handshakes.  Nothing intimate about it.

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,389]

Our general rule of thumb is "no sex on the first meetup", but there have been a few first meetups that resulted in backseat blowjobs.  It's like saying "everything seems to check out, now let's see how he tastes".