Validating a couple, and not receiving a return validation

[sharingcouple123 0]

We recently met a new couple on an LS site.  We had a great time with dinner and drinks.  They invited us back to their house for play.  We ASSUMED they enjoyed their time as much as we did because they mentioned us staying at their house next time.  We sent them a lovely KIK message thanking them for the evening, and they replied.

 

We provided a kind validation to their account, and noticed they had approved that validation.  Well, we are 48 hours away from them accepting our validation and not returning the favor.  We have taken this as they DID NOT enjoy their time enough with us.  

 

We feel this is rude.  We are assuming they are trying to send us a non verbal message to us of "we did not have a good time and wouldn't repeat."  Are we taking this wrong?      

 

We have no intention of discussing this with them because we don't want to create drama or an awkward situation.   We feel like even if we didn't want to repeat with a couple we would still return the favor of a kind validation.  

 

[Fitlakecouple 451]

We don't give or accept validations (certifications). It has zero to do with the other couple. We simply don't like the idea of displaying a running tab of our encounters - good, bad, or otherwise.

That said, if it's that important to you, ask them to do it. Hardly drama.

[njbm 2,871]

Some people are just lazy or lack confidence or ability in their writing. We know that we have blown other couples’ minds (and other parts), given them a cert and not received one back. They may just not care much about certs. 
 

We are friends with a couple who periodically delete certs to keep their number low so they don’t look like such sluts. They recently deleted our cert and I did find it offensive. Don’t know if that means they lost interest in us. Whatever. 
 

Good thing about swinging is: Thank you, next!
 

[lcmim 1,082]

I think you are reading too much into it.

 

[njbm 2,871]

5 hours ago, Fitlakecouple said:

We don't give or accept validations (certifications). It has zero to do with the other couple. We simply don't like the idea of displaying a running tab of our encounters - good, bad, or otherwise.

That said, if it's that important to you, ask them to do it. Hardly drama.

If we had to do it over, we would have 3-5 certs, just to show that we are active. When we see no certs, we assume people are not active. We do understand the no kiss and tell route, though. Why disclose your partners?

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

We don't give or accept validations as well...who we spend time with isn't anyone else's business. However, we do wish that there was a way for websites to have a 'verified' setting that verified you were the two people in the pictures and you both were participating (how many times have we met a couple and the wife either didn't know what was going on or was only doing 'this' the ONE time to appease her husband)

[adamgunn 1,460]

We have exactly three certs on our profile. One a year, every year we accept one and drop one off. Just to let people know we are still in the game, not enough to show who all our friends are, or how often we play.

 

We often ask the people we play with if they would like a cert, if they would we send one. (Yeah, I know they can follow us back, but . . .) For couples, some do, some don't. But the single gentlemen we play with almost always want the cert. (And we only offer the cert if we would play with them again.)

[Fitlakecouple 451]

1 hour ago, GoldCoCouple said:

We don't give or accept validations as well...who we spend time with isn't anyone else's business. However, we do wish that there was a way for websites to have a 'verified' setting that verified you were the two people in the pictures and you both were participating (how many times have we met a couple and the wife either didn't know what was going on or was only doing 'this' the ONE time to appease her husband)

Kasidie has the "validation" function you describe.

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,389]

Kasidie and SLS both have validations.

The first person we ever validated on SLS (back when we were on that site) never validated us in return.  He had like 10 validations and we had none so we were like "wtf!"

But then we figured it doesn't really matter.  Despite what you see on some profiles, swinging isn't a game where the ones with the most validations wins.  It is actually better to not play the validations game at all.  It's honestly nobody's business who you've been in bed with.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

While we are lifetime on SLS, we haven't had any good experiences with Kasidie so we just don't go there anymore. Being an IT guy, it would be so easy to make SLS so much better, but right now it's still the best game in our neck of the woods.

[Idahocouple6969 294]

I was under the impression that singling out people you play with is considered bad form.