Florida Treehouse invites bi men

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Our favorite Florida club is trying something new. They are organizing a Friday evening party especially for bi men. 

 

From their e-mail announcement (punctuation and spelling mistakes are theirs, not mine): 

 

Please note that this is a Bi Party, not a straight party. You must be open minded to attend its a no judgement zone and if you judge you will be asked to leave and not allowed back. Any male who attends must be bi sexual or bi curious. Please do not invite others, it's a invitation party only.
This party was created for a safe place for bi sexual or bi curious men to explore their sexuality. In order to keep an atmosphere that allows safety, privacy and freedom we ask that no straight men attend.

I find it notable that they include "we ask that no straight men attend". 

[njbm 2,870]

Are women invited? Couples?

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

17 minutes ago, njbm said:

Are women invited? Couples?

Women, as with all of their parties, invited. Couples are invited but the man must be bi or bi-curious. 

[Sunday 119]

3 hours ago, SW_PA_Couple said:

Our favorite Florida club is trying something new. They are organizing a Friday evening party especially for bi men. 

 

From their e-mail announcement (punctuation and spelling mistakes are theirs, not mine): 

 

Please note that this is a Bi Party, not a straight party. You must be open minded to attend its a no judgement zone and if you judge you will be asked to leave and not allowed back. Any male who attends must be bi sexual or bi curious. Please do not invite others, it's a invitation party only.
This party was created for a safe place for bi sexual or bi curious men to explore their sexuality. In order to keep an atmosphere that allows safety, privacy and freedom we ask that no straight men attend.

I find it notable that they include "we ask that no straight men attend". 

 

It's definitely NOT my thing but I don't see any problem with having a night dedicated to that.  There are a few guys here that have expressed interest in doing gay stuff and I'm of the opinion that it doesn't really fit in at your standard swingers club/party. 

Anyone should be able to find an event that suits their interests - it's out there for the taking.

 

?

[NWAtlSwing 522]

One thing we would say is that single guys will fib about how bi they are in order to have sex with a woman. "I am not really bi, but you can suck me if I can have sex with your wife." No thank you.

[Baconheads 432]

1 hour ago, NWAtlSwing said:

One thing we would say is that single guys will fib about how bi they are in order to have sex with a woman. "I am not really bi, but you can suck me if I can have sex with your wife." No thank you.

The answer to that might be, "You suck my dick *then* you can fuck my wife!"

[Yourfunfriends 45]

Sounds like a fun time!

[NWAtlSwing 522]

40 minutes ago, Baconheads said:

The answer to that might be, "You suck my dick *then* you can fuck my wife!"

LOL, it is not supposed to be a trial to achieve something. I am there to have fun too, not just pimp my wife.

[Baconheads 432]

1 hour ago, NWAtlSwing said:

LOL, it is not supposed to be a trial to achieve something. I am there to have fun too, not just pimp my wife.

You're right of course.  I think it would be fairly easy to tell who is there for open minded fun and who is trying to pull a fast one.

[enhancer 1,585]

This seems reasonable to me!  We have gone to a few parties that catered to bi woman and had no bi men rules.  I know we wouldn’t be welcome to go to this one and we would not have any interest anyways, but why should that matter? 

[AndrewandAnn 360]

My issue is the "safe place" reference.

 

If they want to have a private party, no big deal. Just call it that.

 

Why call it a safe place?

 

Are they in actual danger from straight men? Are people going to show up with torches and pitchforks? Good heavens. Lol...

 

 

[adamgunn 1,460]

1 hour ago, AndrewandAnn said:

Are they in actual danger from straight men? Are people going to show up with torches and pitchforks? Good heavens. Lol...

 

 

Perhaps you're not a minority (neither am I) or you don't have any close friends who are minorities. Perhaps you've heard about the recent atrocities that happened to Asian-American women. 

 

When you're not in the mainstream, you can tend to become worried about the 'straights' (I mean that as any non-minority, not just sexual,) and can be a bit paranoid from time to time. I think the Florida Treehouse announcement and the reference to safe place is meant to calm bi-men who aren't used to being out in public.

[lovefest04 699]

I think it's great that a 'Swingers Club' is expanding the boundaries of what is included in that definition. Hopefully it will also be financially positive for the club.

 

We would totally attend and to previous post about 'safe'. Yep, we want to know that opening up about something that is less main stream won't be met with violence etc. Sometimes it's hard to imagine being gay, bi, trans or whatever would illicit a negative reactions, but it occurs more often than we think. It's one reason we don't present as bi to men in public places. Risk of bad outcome, or at least confrontation.

 

I often think of how brave people are that come out publicly. It's, in my opinion, just inviting trouble. I can live in my closeted bubble, partly because this is a hobby and be free of fear and repercussions.

[lovefest04 699]

@SW PA couple

 

How can we get on their mailing list? Can you post or send contact?

[AndrewandAnn 360]

10 hours ago, adamgunn said:

Perhaps you're not a minority (neither am I) or you don't have any close friends who are minorities. Perhaps you've heard about the recent atrocities that happened to Asian-American women. 

 

When you're not in the mainstream, you can tend to become worried about the 'straights' (I mean that as any non-minority, not just sexual,) and can be a bit paranoid from time to time. I think the Florida Treehouse announcement and the reference to safe place is meant to calm bi-men who aren't used to being out in public.

Perhaps I take issue with the inference that I am guilty of being a "danger" to someone simply because I am straight.

 

And the attempt to mangle my objection into the "Asian atrocities" argument is laughable. 

 

 

 

 

 

[AndrewandAnn 360]

10 hours ago, lovefest04 said:

I think it's great that a 'Swingers Club' is expanding the boundaries of what is included in that definition. Hopefully it will also be financially positive for the club.

 

We would totally attend and to previous post about 'safe'. Yep, we want to know that opening up about something that is less main stream won't be met with violence etc. Sometimes it's hard to imagine being gay, bi, trans or whatever would illicit a negative reactions, but it occurs more often than we think. It's one reason we don't present as bi to men in public places. Risk of bad outcome, or at least confrontation.

 

I often think of how brave people are that come out publicly. It's, in my opinion, just inviting trouble. I can live in my closeted bubble, partly because this is a hobby and be free of fear and repercussions.

Respectfully, "... it happens more often than we think..." is a very subjective statement.

 

More to the point: What facts do you have that indicate "straight men" are the culprits? Or, that being "straight" has anything to do with these crimes?

 

There are roughly 330,000,000 people living in the United States. The FBI recorded a total of roughly 7,500 so-called "hate crimes" the last year such stats were available. Only 1,130 of those "hate crimes" were reported as being motivated against the victims' sexual orientations. To put that figure into context, that's about the same number of people who die from bee stings every year. In other words, one has about the same probability of being violently attacked due his/her/NA sexual orientation as they do dying from the sting of a honey bee. It is remarkably rare. 

 

More importantly, the FBI does not keep track of the sexual orientation of the people committing the attacks--or if the attackers' sexual orientation had any bearing whatsoever?

 

 

 

 

Edited March 25, 2021 by AndrewandAnn

[Fitlakecouple 451]

12 hours ago, AndrewandAnn said:

My issue is the "safe place" reference.

 

If they want to have a private party, no big deal. Just call it that.

 

Why call it a safe place?

 

Are they in actual danger from straight men? Are people going to show up with torches and pitchforks? Good heavens. Lol...

 

 

No need for torches and pitchforks when all they need to do is insult and ridicule the bi men trying to have a good time along with their supportive wives.

[AndrewandAnn 360]

4 minutes ago, Fitlakecouple said:

No need for torches and pitchforks when all they need to do is insult and ridicule the bi men trying to have a good time along with their supportive wives.

It is a private event, yes?

 

Is Reverend Falwell on the invite list? Lol...

 

I think you understand my point ? 

[Fitlakecouple 451]

1 hour ago, AndrewandAnn said:

It is a private event, yes?

 

Is Reverend Falwell on the invite list? Lol...

 

I think you understand my point ? 

If I understand you correctly, you want to meet at Florida Treehouse Friday evening.

[AndrewandAnn 360]

4 minutes ago, Fitlakecouple said:

If I understand you correctly, you want to meet at Florida Treehouse Friday evening.

Lol... 

 

As long as the Reverend isn't invited! ?

 

I hope they have a wonderful time and practice social distancing! The virus isn't through with us yet.

 

 

 

 

[Fitlakecouple 451]

I have no issue with Jerry watching Becky fuck the pool boy. He might even enjoy fluffing and clean-up duty.

The problem with him is his flagrant hypocrisy and duplicity. That, and blaming her for their shared pastime...

 

[AndrewandAnn 360]

23 minutes ago, Fitlakecouple said:

I have no issue with Jerry watching Becky fuck the pool boy. He might even enjoy fluffing and clean-up duty.

The problem with him is his flagrant hypocrisy and duplicity. That, and blaming her for their shared pastime...

 

Lol... that's Junior. I was referring to the original.

 

But, yeah, the hypocrisy is rich, indeed. Shame, too, cause Becky isn't too bad looking and kinky as a bent nail. No doubt they'll show up again somewhere... she'll probably be the centerfold spread for Hustler On-line. Lol...

 

However, Junior is not alone. It's a problem universally shared by almost all "powerful" people who sleaze their way to the top of any large organization, religious or otherwise. I am reminded of the Most Honorable President William Jefferson Clinton who used that 20-something intern's hoo-ha as his personal humidor. This, as his wife, Hillary, conveniently turned a blind eye while wagging her finger at the rest of us.

 

All of these people are hypocrites to varying degrees. We all are, really. I try to keep it my own hypocrisy in check as much as possible. And, thank heavens, I am the top dog of nothing more than my own little fiefdom and I've worked hard to maintain a very low public profile. And at least I'm honest enough to admit I enjoy fucking other men's wives and girlfriends, and my wife does likewise. Lol!

 

 

[lovefest04 699]

13 hours ago, AndrewandAnn said:

More to the point: What facts do you have that indicate "straight men" are the culprits? Or, that being "straight" has anything to do with these crimes?

Dude, I never said anything about straight men.

[AndrewandAnn 360]

10 hours ago, lovefest04 said:

Dude, I never said anything about straight men.

You voiced support for the event and, by default, it's "safe space" free from straight men (the only people banned from attending, lol) , and then clearly made a correlation to them being associated with violence:

 

"We would totally attend and to previous post about 'safe'. Yep, we want to know that opening up about something that is less main stream won't be met with violence etc." 

 

So, if you really feel straight men are not a threat, why the need to create a "safe space" from them? And why the reference to violence? It is illogical.

[Fitlakecouple 451]

Not sure why it’s so difficult to understand why the hosting club only wants bi-comfortable, open-minded, men and women in attendance at a  bi male themed party. They simply want to create an environment  where m/m play can go on without gawkers or those who feel it may be fun sport to harass, name call, or ridicule. Worse, would be the outraged reaction of a homophobic male if approached by another male.

So, if you are triggered by the word “Safe” and insulted at the very notion – maybe you aren’t the guy to be there on said Friday evening…

[Idahocouple6969 294]

I know I've said this before..... but there are a lot of people in the LS that are homophobic. Lots of couples won't play with a bi/bi curious man. There are lots of men that are indeed curious but we know couples that won't play with a couple if the guy is anything but straight. The women have said they don't want a guy looking at his butt. There are a LOT of guys that would recoil in horror if another guy touched their junk and would likely leave if their dicks touched.

 

We have several FWB that have said VERY tentatively that they have always wondered what it would be like if.......I am straight but after a couple of drinks and in the right situation, who knows what could happen. We like experimenting and it's why we belong to sls and fet life. My wife is bi and it's probably the reason we started swinging. 

 

One of our 1st trips to a club we ended up in a puppy pile and one person was a mtf trans guy. I kinda regret not seeing where that might have gone. Watching her bang another girl was really hot.  

[Sunday 119]

43 minutes ago, Idahocouple6969 said:

I know I've said this before..... but there are a lot of people in the LS that are homophobic. Lots of couples won't play with a bi/bi curious man. There are lots of men that are indeed curious but we know couples that won't play with a couple if the guy is anything but straight. The women have said they don't want a guy looking at his butt. There are a LOT of guys that would recoil in horror if another guy touched their junk and would likely leave if their dicks touched.

 

We have several FWB that have said VERY tentatively that they have always wondered what it would be like if.......I am straight but after a couple of drinks and in the right situation, who knows what could happen. We like experimenting and it's why we belong to sls and fet life. My wife is bi and it's probably the reason we started swinging. 

 

One of our 1st trips to a club we ended up in a puppy pile and one person was a mtf trans guy. I kinda regret not seeing where that might have gone. Watching her bang another girl was really hot.  

 

I'm not sure that having no interest in male-on-male sex necessarily equals "homophobic."  I wouldn't attend a swingers event like this - just as I wouldn't go to a gay sex party/bath house. It's not my thing, but all the power to those that desire it.  Live and let live.  I love my gay friends and family members and fully support them in everything they do. 

 

To me, men are gross, smelly, hairy, disgusting animals, while women are sacred and beautiful flowers.  I find the idea of sex with another man to be revolting and I thank god everyday that he designed woman to be sexually attracted to us repulsive creatures.

 

Is it still okay to be a heterosexual male?

 

 

Edited March 26, 2021 by Sunday

[NWAtlSwing 522]

I think that if straight women can play with the husbands of bi women, straight men ought to be able to play with the wives of bi men.

[Idahocouple6969 294]

5 hours ago, Sunday said:

 

I'm not sure that having no interest in male-on-male sex necessarily equals "homophobic."  I wouldn't attend a swingers event like this - just as I wouldn't go to a gay sex party/bath house. It's not my thing, but all the power to those that desire it.  Live and let live.  I love my gay friends and family members and fully support them in everything they do. 

 

To me, men are gross, smelly, hairy, disgusting animals, while women are sacred and beautiful flowers.  I find the idea of sex with another man to be revolting and I thank god everyday that he designed woman to be sexually attracted to us repulsive creatures.

 

Is it still okay to be a heterosexual male?

 

 

I never said not having any interest was homophobic. 

 

If you list yourself as a bi male it will significantly reduce your replies to sls profile's. At least around the inland pacific northwest. Many we know will absolutely NOT play with a bi male. Female bi is fine but a male? No way.

[Sunday 119]

35 minutes ago, Idahocouple6969 said:

I never said not having any interest was homophobic. 

 

If you list yourself as a bi male it will significantly reduce your replies to sls profile's. At least around the inland pacific northwest. Many we know will absolutely NOT play with a bi male. Female bi is fine but a male? No way.

That doesn't surprise me - does it surprise you?

[njbm 2,870]

I don’t want to start a prison break, because I admit to my ignorance.

 

Are most bisexual males in the lifestyle only bi oral or also bi anal? I assume it varies, just as it does with hetero swingers. 

[NWAtlSwing 522]

It really depends on the guys. For us, he will top or bottom with the right guy. She loves to see him do either, but mostly it is oral.

[Goodbicouple 174]

Oral is by far the most common between bi men from what I experienced.

 

[AndrewandAnn 360]

On 3/26/2021 at 2:01 PM, NWAtlSwing said:

I think that if straight women can play with the husbands of bi women, straight men ought to be able to play with the wives of bi men.

I think that everyone should be treated as an individual.

 

And that every individual has the right to decided his/her own boundaries. Period.

 

 

[NWAtlSwing 522]

I don't disagree, Andrew.

 

I also reserve the right to make judgements about people based on their boundaries. After all, someone's behavior shows their character. If a couple is OK with playing with a woman who is bi (no bi action, they just know she is bi), and they are not OK playing with a couple where the guy is bi (no bi action, they just know he is bi), that says something about their attitudes. There is a hang up there. I am not saying it is sin, just that it is a double standard. They are treating bi men differently than bi women.

 

We are not big fans of double standards in general, and when we encounter one, we wonder. I gave up pretending to have no bi interest on profiles because I don't like lying. If a couple is that freaked out simply because I am bi, they are not the couple for us.

[Sunday 119]

On 3/29/2021 at 5:15 PM, NWAtlSwing said:

I don't disagree, Andrew.

 

I also reserve the right to make judgements about people based on their boundaries. After all, someone's behavior shows their character. If a couple is OK with playing with a woman who is bi (no bi action, they just know she is bi), and they are not OK playing with a couple where the guy is bi (no bi action, they just know he is bi), that says something about their attitudes. There is a hang up there. I am not saying it is sin, just that it is a double standard. They are treating bi men differently than bi women.

 

We are not big fans of double standards in general, and when we encounter one, we wonder. I gave up pretending to have no bi interest on profiles because I don't like lying. If a couple is that freaked out simply because I am bi, they are not the couple for us.

 

I don't think it's a double standard as traditional swinger culture is entrenched in F/F but does not involve man-on-man.  And I also believe that the overwhelming majority of men involved in the lifestyle have no interest in sex with another man - and that the vast majority of LS females are open, for a variety of reasons, for sex with other females.

 

Am I wrong?

 

[NWAtlSwing 522]

3 hours ago, Sunday said:

 

I don't think it's a double standard as traditional swinger culture is entrenched in F/F but does not involve man-on-man.  And I also believe that the overwhelming majority of men involved in the lifestyle have no interest in sex with another man - and that the vast majority of LS females are open, for a variety of reasons, for sex with other females.

 

Am I wrong?

 

That really does not address my point, though. Let's take sexual orientation out of it with an example.

 

Let's say couple A is really into BDSM. Let's say that Couple B is not, and it is even a turn off for them. Couple A says "No problem, we like regular sex just fine." Couple B then says, "No, you guys are into BDSM, therefore, we feel uncomfortable playing with you, even if you promise no BDSM."

 

I know plenty of women with zero interest into sex with other females. To a one, they are willing to play with couples where the other woman is interested. This is about guys not wanting to naked in the presence of a bi guy. Do I call it "homophobia"? I am not doing that, but there is some level of discomfort that stops them from wanting to swap with a couple where the guy is bi. What if they are in separate rooms? They still are unwilling to play with them? It is not something rational. It is some sort of hang up. And it is a double standard. Gay men and bi men are simply less acceptable to Americans, even in swinging. And if you don't think there is a anti male-homosexual bias in swinging then you have not been paying attention.

 

Again, I am no longer willing to lie and say I am 100% straight, that makes me uncomfortable. If some man is uncomfortable having sex with my wife because I am bi, neither of us want to play him or his wife.

[Sunday 119]

On 3/31/2021 at 6:41 PM, NWAtlSwing said:

That really does not address my point, though. Let's take sexual orientation out of it with an example.

 

Let's say couple A is really into BDSM. Let's say that Couple B is not, and it is even a turn off for them. Couple A says "No problem, we like regular sex just fine." Couple B then says, "No, you guys are into BDSM, therefore, we feel uncomfortable playing with you, even if you promise no BDSM."

 

I know plenty of women with zero interest into sex with other females. To a one, they are willing to play with couples where the other woman is interested. This is about guys not wanting to naked in the presence of a bi guy. Do I call it "homophobia"? I am not doing that, but there is some level of discomfort that stops them from wanting to swap with a couple where the guy is bi. What if they are in separate rooms? They still are unwilling to play with them? It is not something rational. It is some sort of hang up. And it is a double standard. Gay men and bi men are simply less acceptable to Americans, even in swinging. And if you don't think there is a anti male-homosexual bias in swinging then you have not been paying attention.

 

Again, I am no longer willing to lie and say I am 100% straight, that makes me uncomfortable. If some man is uncomfortable having sex with my wife because I am bi, neither of us want to play him or his wife.

 

Some of the men on this board are very persistent about this fantasy that m/m oral sex is somehow going to be miraculously accepted by traditional, mainstream swinger culture - I think they think the more they bring it up, the more likely it is that it will start to be accepted.  But it's not going to be and it never will.

Sometimes I wonder if their motivation in coming to this board is more for the swinger aspect or the gay male sex aspect...but I digress.

 

As we've discussed before, there are a variety of reasons why m/m sex doesn't happen in the traditional swingers environment and it doesn't mean that mainstream swingers are homophobic, or hypocritical or judgemental - it's just not part of the scene.  Now that said, I'm quite sure that there are events that cater to this desire and I'd imagine there is one near you.  But at your local, popular swingers club or regularly occurring house party, it's not the norm.

 

[NerdsAreFun 226]

Bi male activity happens plenty often at swingers clubs...just behind closed doors rather than in the open rooms.

 

As for the "safe space" comment, as long as the "gay panic defense" is a thing, that will be a concern for many.

https://lgbtbar.org/programs/advocacy/gay-trans-panic-defense/

[Sunday 119]

19 hours ago, NerdsAreFun said:

Bi male activity happens plenty often at swingers clubs...just behind closed doors rather than in the open rooms.

 

As for the "safe space" comment, as long as the "gay panic defense" is a thing, that will be a concern for many.

https://lgbtbar.org/programs/advocacy/gay-trans-panic-defense/

 

Yeah, no it doesn't.

I've visited swinger clubs for almost 20 years now, in 5 states, easily over 150 times and I've never seen it, heard of it or had it suggested.

[NerdsAreFun 226]

6 minutes ago, Sunday said:

 

Yeah, no it doesn't.

I've visited swinger clubs for almost 20 years now, in 5 states, easily over 150 times and I've never seen it, heard of it or had it suggested.

I've participated in it, over the last 22 years in multiple states as well, but OK.  Must've been in my head?  Usually coached in terms of being "open minded", when you're already in a swinging environment.  Or answering yes to the question of whether you like having two mouths on you...while in a threesome.  Not a single guy in a swing club we asked that question of, behind closed doors, said no btw.

Edited April 28, 2021 by NerdsAreFun

[Sunday 119]

3 minutes ago, NerdsAreFun said:

I've participated in it, over the last 22 years in multiple states as well, but OK.  Must've been in my head?  Usually coached in terms of being "open minded", when you're already in a swinging environment.  Or answering yes to the question of whether you like having two mouths on you...while in a threesome.  Not a single guy in a swing club we asked that question of, behind closed doors, said no btw.

 

All power to you, my friend.

[Fitlakecouple 451]

Yes it does! - No it doesn't!

I know you are, but what am I?

[Sunday 119]

Traditional/mainstream porn usually depicts m/f and girl/girl - but never gay male sex.

Traditional/mainstream swinger culture is the same.

 

Ever sex man-on-man sex on the vid screen at a swingers club?  Of course you haven't because it isn't part of the culture.

[Fitlakecouple 451]

Didn't Shakespeare have something to say about those who protest too much? How's that go?

[Sunday 119]

4 hours ago, Fitlakecouple said:

Didn't Shakespeare have something to say about those who protest too much? How's that go?

 

??

[Goodbicouple 174]

You guys suck.

[NerdsAreFun 226]

7 hours ago, Sunday said:

Traditional/mainstream porn usually depicts m/f and girl/girl - but never gay male sex.

Traditional/mainstream swinger culture is the same.

 

Ever sex man-on-man sex on the vid screen at a swingers club?  Of course you haven't because it isn't part of the culture.

Depends on your location surely.  Here in the Portland area clubs have dedicated lgbt nights and have had that for years.  Seems more conservative Florida is just catching up based on the op.

[Sunday 119]

19 hours ago, Goodbicouple said:

You guys suck.