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With all the shutdowns and not going to the gym for what feels like forever I finally started going after my vaccinations. It was nice seeing some of the women who I had seen over the years, women and men who I only know in passing at the gym. My old gym friends who I would have very little conversation and mostly just idle gym talk. There are people you notice and say hello to and don’t know their names. 
I was on the elliptical, with my mask on, and not paying attention to anyone and then I see a woman two machines over having mask problems. I recognize her from classes we both took over the years. Feeling bad I motion that I have extra masks she could have. 
I now know she wanted to get my attention. She told me her name and said she knows someone in common with me. My heart blipped when she said who, a woman we met a few years ago. She said she knows we haven’t talked in years but she her friend knew I worked out in this gym. Don’t know how she knew or how she would know I would be there at that time. 
I didn’t know to react when she said if we could talk after our workout. The couple she knew were one of the couples we met on a site who were just starting out.  The couple lived not close to us, something we did for many reasons. 
Now I have someone who is in our everyday life asking me questions about swinging. I couldn’t get a real answer of how she got my name or why her friend would bring my name up. Her friends are swingers, they have met others after us. Her promise of discretion is gone, I’m not sure how to handle this new friend. Her and husband have not met anyone, even if they are friends with swingers. She told me that they have talked and knew her friends met us and for a year her and her husband talked about what it would be like. Her friends refused to be the first for them, too close they said. So much could go wrong and jealousy could ruin the friendship. 
She asked if we would just meet with her and her husband for drinks. Her and her husband have been vaccinated and have been monogamous in their marriage. She showed me a picture of her husband who I recognized from the gym. They both workout and she said they live a healthy life. 
In the years we have met others we always kept our lives separate from our play. Not sure if meeting someone who knows more about me, maybe stalking me, is someone we should get involved with. 

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Sounds ok to me and I am sensitive to conflicts. Only question is if you do not go on to play or it’s a one and done situation, do you mind seeing them at the gym? If so, is there a swinger couple you can fix them up with?

 

I am alarmed that a previous couple outed you to this woman. That is a problem. Most swingers would never do that. 

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1 hour ago, njbm said:

 

I am alarmed that a previous couple outed you to this woman. That is a problem. Most swingers would never do that. 

Exactly!!

I don’t remember telling them I go to this gym. I try to keep my private life just that, Private. Is it possible? 
She said her friend confided that they were trying something new back a few years ago. How many friends talk about meeting a couple for swinging? 
 

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Stalking is probably a bit of a leap, but caution is always a good thing. Meeting for drinks is safe enough, but I’d definite be having words with the “previous couple.” 

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5 hours ago, cplnluv1 said:

With all the shutdowns and not going to the gym for what feels like forever I finally started going after my vaccinations. It was nice seeing some of the women who I had seen over the years, women and men who I only know in passing at the gym. My old gym friends who I would have very little conversation and mostly just idle gym talk. There are people you notice and say hello to and don’t know their names. 
I was on the elliptical, with my mask on, and not paying attention to anyone and then I see a woman two machines over having mask problems. I recognize her from classes we both took over the years. Feeling bad I motion that I have extra masks she could have. 
I now know she wanted to get my attention. She told me her name and said she knows someone in common with me. My heart blipped when she said who, a woman we met a few years ago. She said she knows we haven’t talked in years but she her friend knew I worked out in this gym. Don’t know how she knew or how she would know I would be there at that time. 
I didn’t know to react when she said if we could talk after our workout. The couple she knew were one of the couples we met on a site who were just starting out.  The couple lived not close to us, something we did for many reasons. 
Now I have someone who is in our everyday life asking me questions about swinging. I couldn’t get a real answer of how she got my name or why her friend would bring my name up. Her friends are swingers, they have met others after us. Her promise of discretion is gone, I’m not sure how to handle this new friend. Her and husband have not met anyone, even if they are friends with swingers. She told me that they have talked and knew her friends met us and for a year her and her husband talked about what it would be like. Her friends refused to be the first for them, too close they said. So much could go wrong and jealousy could ruin the friendship. 
She asked if we would just meet with her and her husband for drinks. Her and her husband have been vaccinated and have been monogamous in their marriage. She showed me a picture of her husband who I recognized from the gym. They both workout and she said they live a healthy life. 
In the years we have met others we always kept our lives separate from our play. Not sure if meeting someone who knows more about me, maybe stalking me, is someone we should get involved with. 

 

She recognized you from the swinger site and made-up the story about the other couple - or possibly had a casual/virtual contact with them on the site and noticed that you two verified each other...something like that.

 

That's my guess.

 

 

:dontknow:

Edited by Sunday
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3 hours ago, tkntd said:

Stalking is probably a bit of a leap, but caution is always a good thing. Meeting for drinks is safe enough, but I’d definite be having words with the “previous couple.” 

 

17 minutes ago, Sunday said:

 

She recognized you from the swinger site and made-up the story about the other couple - or possibly had a casual/virtual contact with them on the site and noticed that you two verified each other...something like that.

 

That's my guess.

 

 

:dontknow:

I called the couple to see the real story. We aren’t on that site anymore. 

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10 minutes ago, cplnluv1 said:

 

I called the couple to see the real story. We aren’t on that site anymore. 

Do tell - what did they say?

:dontknow:

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1 hour ago, cplnluv1 said:

 

I called the couple to see the real story. We aren’t on that site anymore. 

What is the story?

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11 hours ago, Sunday said:

Do tell - what did they say?

:dontknow:

Haven’t heard back yet. 
I am a little upset that we were outed in our own area and wasn’t told that I was going to ambushed at the gym. Alan is making lemonade out of this saying we should be flattered that she searched us out. He is say so what if the couple enjoyed what we do and sent us a couple that is looking for a caring couple to guide them, that is what we did for them. 

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One question to ask yourself is: Did they do this to "help me" or "hurt me"? I would frame my response accordingly.

Of course, they should have checked with you and asked permission before sharing your business. But, they did it with people in the lifestyle in what seems to be an attempt to facilitate connection not to hurt you... Given that, I'd temper my anger.

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20 minutes ago, Fitlakecouple said:

One question to ask yourself is: Did they do this to "help me" or "hurt me"? I would frame my response accordingly.

Alan said the same thing. He said be flattered that we are being talked about in a positive way. He said put the way we were contacted aside, would we want to meet this couple if we were contacted on the internet. Are they an attractive, clean couple looking for guidance. I answered that we agreed to stay away from couples that are in our private lives. He answered that they aren’t in our our lives and they are both healthy and fit. 

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At some point you just have to accept the place you're at and not worry about finding out exactly how you got there.

 

And I have to agree, at some point real life is just an extension of high school.

 

Be seeing you.

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3 hours ago, KatrinaandDriverX said:

 

Be seeing you.

Huh? You know us?

 

Think you might be right about things not changing since school. 

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We have a circle of lifestyle friends. Who likes who, who will do who, the whole thing is confusing. I prefer Bliss, Desire or Hedonism encounters. 

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I would say this is a Win-Win for you. You don’t need to look for a willing couple who has never been with anyone. They already know you and made the first move. She must find you attractive and you acknowledged you know her friends. I think your secret is no longer a secret. 

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'Be seeing you' is simply a phrase to use instead of 'Take Care', or something like that.  Unless you're Number 6. You'll have to look that up.   :)

 

 

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1 hour ago, KatrinaandDriverX said:

'Be seeing you' is simply a phrase to use instead of 'Take Care', or something like that.  Unless you're Number 6. You'll have to look that up.   :)

 

 

Who is Number 1?  ;)

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I don’t get it. I figured there was going to be a party and we didn’t get an invite. 
Number 6? Fun is #1. 

Where is this gym?
 

 

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12 hours ago, TricianMike said:

I don’t get it. I figured there was going to be a party and we didn’t get an invite. 
Number 6? Fun is #1. 

Where is this gym?
 

 

Alas, the obscure references to "Be Seeing You", Number Six, Number One have dated us. 

 

 

In the middle of the 20th century, during height of the Cold War, there emerged a number of television series about spies and their lives. Among the best were two British series. The first was called "Secret Agent", and the second called "The Prisoner". Both starred the extraordinary Patrick McGoohan. You might know the former from its catchy theme song by Johnny Rivers, listen here 

 

 

The second series implied that McGoohan's character had tried to leave the spy biz and was interned at a camp for such people (hence the title "The Prisoner"). His name was indeed "taken away" and he was referred to only as Number Six, engaged in a game of wits with a series of Number Twos, and always asking the question "Who is Number One?"  

 

This was Brit TV at its best in that era. 

 

Be seeing you...

 

 

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Thank you, I didn’t understand the reference either. Maybe Netflix or Hulu will help. 
Plan on meeting my stalker later today to get to the truth which is most likely what she said. I’m interested in how she just so happened to be a member at my gym. 
 

Au Revoir. 

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Did anyone see the Austin Powers movie where they asked him who number 2 worked for and Tom Arnold narrated the struggle from the next bathroom stall?
 

Vulgar, childish and funny. 

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Number Six: Where am I?
Number Two: In the Village.
Number Six: What do you want?
Number Two: Information.
Number Six: Whose side are you on?
Number Two: That would be telling. We want information… information… information.
Number Six: You won't get it.
Number Two: By hook or by crook, we will.
Number Six: Who are you?
Number Two: The new Number Two.
Number Six: Who is Number One?
Number Two: You are Number Six.
Number Six: I am not a number! I am a free man!
Number Two: [laughs]
 
Also used in the beginning of the Iron Maiden song also called 'The Prisioner'...or so I have heard.

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Sounds like at some time her 'friend' let it slip that they were either swinging or trying out swinging and it was exciting for her to hear that others actually did this. "With who?!". Her friend told her it was you. It stuck and excited her. Either by accident or on purpose, she 'ran' into you. I would guess that her and her husband haven't even really talked about swinging, but she is very excited about the idea...there are a lot of people who would feel this way and vicariously live out their fantasies through others. Most likely she just wants to find out more about it. If you are interested in meeting them (with extreme caution since I already suspect the husband doesn't really know what is going on), then go for it, but only after asking her to have a serious talk with her husband about swinging. A platonic meeting (making sure she understands that it is only platonic) doesn't really hurt (unless she can't keep the gossip to herself). If you aren't interested, then just politely tell her you are not interested...and don't have any idea what she is even talking about. It sounds like you really haven't been 'outed', but you don't want to give her a chance to do the outing.

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Since you seem to be so worried about this, repeat after me:

 

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

 

If that doesn't work, add "you sexual deviant, please go away"

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2 hours ago, GoldCoCouple said:

Since you seem to be so worried about this, repeat after me:

 

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

 

If that doesn't work, add "you sexual deviant, please go away"

Not really worried, normally we would jump at the opportunity of being with her and her husband. They aren’t in our circle of friends, just a gym goer like us. 
We understand that people we met would tell others if they talk about such things. We prefer to keep our vanilla friends out of that part of our life. We have resisted coming out to our very closest friends. 

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2 hours ago, GoldCoCouple said:

If that doesn't work, add "you sexual deviant, please go away"

?  I love that tag! ?

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I think you're looking a gift horse in the mouth.  Go with it, have fun!

 

There are a lot of us that would be dying to be in your shoes.

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On 4/14/2021 at 7:34 PM, Baconheads said:

I think you're looking a gift horse in the mouth.  Go with it, have fun!

 

There are a lot of us that would be dying to be in your shoes.

Spot on!  Go have your fun and show her a good time. 

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On 4/15/2021 at 7:57 AM, cplnluv1 said:

I know I’m overthinking this, Alan laughed at me and my conspiracy theories. He said what you are saying and used my own words to convince me to set up a date. She is attractive, smart and real. I already know more about her than any other couple before. He convinced me to set up the date. 

You are a great couple and will make them feel welcome and safe. Linda you are a terrific person. 

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23 hours ago, TricianMike said:

You are a great couple and will make them feel welcome and safe. Linda you are a terrific person. 

Thank you. 
The woman from the gym and her husband are nice people. Some people need time to adjust to what they think they want to do. We never push and let others go at their own speed. 

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Twice this week I talked to my friend at the gym. Maybe a coincidence we are both there at the same time, the gym does have more people now with people being vaccinated. When I saw her I gave her a big hug and she apologized for not doing everything we thought we would. I reassured her that what she wanted is a difficult change from things that for her was normal. We will meet again now that we know them as our new friends and they can be more comfortable with us. 

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On 4/17/2021 at 10:56 PM, TricianMike said:

You are a great couple and will make them feel welcome and safe. Linda you are a terrific person. 

You know her? Wow!

 

1 hour ago, cplnluv1 said:

We will meet again now that we know them as our new friends and they can be more comfortable with us. 

Can’t wait to read what happens. 

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On 4/24/2021 at 9:52 AM, MidwestHoneys said:

You know her? Wow!

 

Can’t wait to read what happens. 

Not all people are made to swing and only think they are ready 

 

Some things should just remain a curiosity. 

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Tossing a few cents into the bucket...

 

It seems like you are going down this road with this couple now, so this is perhaps post-facto. I don't think there's any risk in proceeding with this couple in the sense of more people knowing about your swinging life. They already know. Playing with them isn't going to change that of course.

 

I wouldn't suspect some sort of stalking going on in regards to her being at the gym at the same time. It's just coincidence, and more likely to happen than people suspect. Your lives in terms of general schedules are probably vaguely similar, with free time slots being vaguely similar. Thus, showing up at the gym is more likely than we might otherwise suspect.

 

Based on what you've told us, she seems sincere. Nervous, but sincere.

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cplnluv1, I agree with Fundamental Law. It sounds like you are really going about this in the right way.


I wish I could be a fly on the wall in that couple's discussion afterwards :) Some very few couples can just jump in to the deep end of the swinging pool right off. Some take many years. Most are in between. This couple sounds like they are going about it the right way, taking their time, going slowly, not pushing too far past their comfort zones. I'm sure their discussions are going well (regardless of outcome).

 

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10 hours ago, cplnluv1 said:

That first experience had us shaking our head when the guy treated his partner and me very poorly. Instead of souring us we turned our thoughts to trying to make others have positive takeaways.

Before my wife and I had our first experience, we talked about the possibility of having neutral or even bad experiences in swinging. We both agreed that we shouldn't judge it based on one experience, or even a few that were neutral or bad before we found good. We decided to play it by ear and see where we were after two or three experiences. Good thing too. It wasn't until the third experience  (a MFM); that one blew my wife's socks off, and she was hooked.

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