Finding single or married men for sexual encounter

[Campin 0]

How do u find a willing male to have discrete sex with wife?

[Jlo60 9]

6 hours ago, Campin said:

How do u find a willing male to have discrete sex with wife?

You just found him

[Sunday 119]

7 hours ago, Campin said:

How do u find a willing male to have discrete sex with wife?

[NoAngels 333]

On 4/8/2021 at 8:02 AM, Sunday said:

 

I get your reaction because the poster just joined to post this. 

My wife has been a member of a very popular cheating site that has millions of members. I am very aware of her membership and she knows I have strayed over the years. For a long time we didn’t talk about our extramarital affairs and when about our lives and then we had a big talk and did some swinging. My wife continues to meet married men with my knowledge and at times will tell me some very detailed accounts. 

[alicenaraa 3]

I want to utilize this forum to find some fun.

[njbm 2,868]

18 hours ago, NoAngels said:

I get your reaction because the poster just joined to post this. 
My wife has been a member of a very popular cheating site that has millions of members. I am very aware of her membership and she knows I have strayed over the years. For a long time we didn’t talk about our extramarital affairs and when about our lives and then we had a big talk and did some swinging. My wife continues to meet married men with my knowledge and at times will tell me some very detailed accounts. 

We prefer to play with committed swingers over cheating spouses. We hope to avoid the vengeful cheated on spouse discovering us and breaking up our fun. There are a lot of hot tempered people out there who are willing to do harsh things. We don’t want to do unethical things and contribute to the demise of marriages. There are plenty of consenting swingers. 

Edited April 9, 2021 by njbm

[tkntd 59]

It’s been our experience that finding a guy isn’t difficult at all. Finding one who will be honest about himself and his situation - his entire situation - is damn near impossible. We want to live out some fantasies and have fun, but not at the expense of our peace of mind, comfort, or someone else’s relationship or feelings. 

[MidwestHoneys 356]

We never have a hard time finding players because Honey is a hot piece. Besides that we have someone who makes sure we have willing guys and girls. I can’t say all of them are discreet, they are willing. 

[Sunday 119]

On 4/8/2021 at 9:54 AM, NoAngels said:

I get your reaction because the poster just joined to post this. 
My wife has been a member of a very popular cheating site that has millions of members. I am very aware of her membership and she knows I have strayed over the years. For a long time we didn’t talk about our extramarital affairs and when about our lives and then we had a big talk and did some swinging. My wife continues to meet married men with my knowledge and at times will tell me some very detailed accounts. 

You and your wife sound much more like cheaters and much less like swingers. 

 

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

...and cheating isn't swinging, no matter how much you may think it is. Cheating and swinging are at the complete opposite ends of the spectrum.

[Anon321 521]

There is no shortage of single and married men looking to fuck.

[NoAngels 333]

On 4/12/2021 at 11:13 AM, Sunday said:

You and your wife sound much more like cheaters and much less like swingers. 

 

Cheaters with knowledge of the other’s infidelities that transformed to swinging together. Some will say swinging is an experience couples do together, for us it is sex with others. If swinger couples swing in separate rooms, it is still swinging. We just choose to swing separately. 

[kcjones 59]

Join a swingers club.  Have your wife go on a night that allows single men.  She should have no problem finding willing participants in an already discreet environment.  If she is bi/bi-curious, the number of couples there willing to entertain her will up her chances exponentially.  

Edited June 21, 2021 by kcjones

[enhancer 1,584]

There is no shortage of willing guys out there that would fuck your wife!  It doesn’t even matter what the wife looks like or what her personality is like.  There will be a lineup of horny guys.  It is actually kind of sad how many desperate dudes are out there looking for anything they can get.  

 

Saying that it is by no means easy finding a guy that she might actually be interested having sex with! Lots of completely clueless and ignorant men out there.  We have actually found it easier to find unicorn women to play with which are out numbered by the men at least 100 to 1 over the years we have been at it. 

 

As for married or single there is only one choice for us whether it is a male or a female! Single.  We believe in karma and avoid all bad karma situations as much as possible.  We see someone cheating on a spouse as a bad karma situation.  

[njbm 2,868]

I am a devout believer in karma. Sometimes it takes awhile to catch up, but it does. 

[Numex 2,409]

Before we met, my wife had most of her relationships with married men, i.e. cheaters.  She found the nature of those relationships, what they were and were not, suited her.  (It wasn't sugar daddy stuff, she's a high earner.)  They were relationships, some lasting years and many overlapping, but never any talk or worry of it going further.

 

Daniela loved talking to these men about their wives, what they were like both sexually and in daily life.   She encouraged the men to treat their wives, and especially their children, well.  She tried to have it arranged to meet them.  She loved to shop and pay for gifts for them to pass on to the wives.  When she told me about this, as we got serious, I thought it was a bit psycho.

 

When we did get totally serious and talked of marriage, Daniela said that she was ready to move to her monogamous stage since she would now have her own husband.  It's what I expected and we went that route for a while. 

 

This is a long way around of saying that when we started couple swapping swinging, Daniela found it even more satisfying having relationships with married men whose wives know and participate.  (Her Lesbian side is a whole other story too long to tell, except that it found satisfaction in swinging.)

 

I never cheated on my first wife, so I'm left with the question what would have happened if I met Daniela before I was divorced?  I imagine a world were I would have loved Daniela, remained faithful to my wife while Daniela was fucking other men. 

[NoAngels 333]

53 minutes ago, Numex said:

Before we met, my wife had most of her relationships with married men, i.e. cheaters.  She found the nature of those relationships, what they were and were not, suited her.  (It wasn't sugar daddy stuff, she's a high earner.) 

 

53 minutes ago, Numex said:

Daniela loved talking to these men about their wives, what they were like both sexually and in daily life.   She encouraged the men to treat their wives, and especially their children, well. 

My wife is the same, not wanting anything more from her time with them. She has told me most of the men, the cheaters, have terrific marriages and families. Those men weren’t looking for relationships, just a place to experience new things. 
I have no need to watch my wife enjoying herself. My take is many men on here for whatever reason want to watch a wife taken. I prefer she be with a married man with no expectation of a long term relationship. No falling in love. I understand those men, I’m one of them. It’s just sex for sex. If the sex isn’t fun there is no reason to meet again. 
I have no problem with her meeting married men, or having a day with a younger single guy if he knows her rules. 

[Anon321 521]

2 hours ago, NoAngels said:

 

My wife is the same, not wanting anything more from her time with them. She has told me most of the men, the cheaters, have terrific marriages and families. Those men weren’t looking for relationships, just a place to experience new things. 
I have no need to watch my wife enjoying herself. My take is many men on here for whatever reason want to watch a wife taken. I prefer she be with a married man with no expectation of a long term relationship. No falling in love. I understand those men, I’m one of them. It’s just sex for sex. If the sex isn’t fun there is no reason to meet again. 
I have no problem with her meeting married men, or having a day with a younger single guy if he knows her rules. 

I agree.  When my GF hooks up with married men or men who are in committed relationship it's purely about the sex.  They also have their own separate lives so they are good at keeping distance and not being overbearing and constantly looking for more sex every second.  And a lot of them are in good relationships but they are not getting fulfilled sexually.  I have a friend who is happily married but he doesn't have as much sex as he wants and his wife will not even give him a blowjob - but my GF will.

 

Is it wrong to have sex with married people?  Maybe.  But our feeling is that everyone involved is an adult and no one is being taken advantage of.  So if everyone who is present is ok with it then we proceed forward.

[TricianMike 772]

6 hours ago, NoAngels said:

 

My wife is the same, not wanting anything more from her time with them. She has told me most of the men, the cheaters, have terrific marriages and families. Those men weren’t looking for relationships, just a place to experience new things. 
I have no need to watch my wife enjoying herself. My take is many men on here for whatever reason want to watch a wife taken. I prefer she be with a married man with no expectation of a long term relationship. No falling in love. I understand those men, I’m one of them. It’s just sex for sex. 

We don’t ask marriage status, I usually can tell by his ring finger. If a man is looking to play I don’t question his motive, he is most likely looking for the same reason I am, a fun hour or two. We have met men in their 20s 30s 40s & 50s. I usually figure older the odds are he’s married. The sex is different with married men, I’m going to call it grateful sex. Single guys are more of I’m going to fuck this woman which is fine too. 
Michael does enjoy watching me enjoy. I would never think of him as cuckold or being emasculated by a man. To the contrary he is there as a protector, making sure I am safe from a psycho pick up. 

[Numex 2,409]

21 hours ago, NoAngels said:

She has told me most of the men, the cheaters, have terrific marriages and families.

Agreed, but in many the excitement had evaporated or something was never there, particularly the intellectual aspect.  One husband had told Daniela about an argument - she said, "You always treat me like a child."  He said, "You're always acting like a child."

 

21 hours ago, NoAngels said:

Those men weren’t looking for relationships,

For Daniela these were loving relationships, but they had there limits.  She was "the other woman" who wanted and loved that role.

 

21 hours ago, NoAngels said:

... a place to experience new things. 

Or old things that had disappeared, both sexually and otherwise.  One of Daniela's best traits, and reasons I'm happy she's my wife, is that being together always seems fresh, exciting, new. 

 

21 hours ago, NoAngels said:

I have no need to watch my wife enjoying herself.

Me neither.  Our lifestyle adventure started with hotwifing, playing alone.  But I also do enjoy us now swinging with other couples, watching and appreciating her in action.

 

21 hours ago, NoAngels said:

No falling in love. I understand those men, I’m one of them. It’s just sex for sex.

Although the sex is a big part of it, there is love between at least one man and one woman my wife is fucking.  I actually prefer that they care for her.

Edited July 27, 2021 by Numex

[Numex 2,409]

19 hours ago, Anon321 said:

When my GF hooks up with married men ... they are good at keeping distance..

Daniela demanded retaining control over her life, and this way she did.

 

19 hours ago, Anon321 said:

constantly looking for more sex every second. 

That was problem, not a feature, for my wife.  That's why she usually had two, sometimes three, married men going at once.  It's also why she appreciates swinging now.

 

19 hours ago, Anon321 said:

he doesn't have as much sex as he wants and his wife will not even give him a blowjob - but my GF will.

Yep, blowjobs and occasional anal.

 

19 hours ago, Anon321 said:

Is it wrong to have sex with married people?

Daniela said that what she did kept marriages together, she never broke one up with what she was doing. 

[Numex 2,409]

15 hours ago, TricianMike said:

call it grateful sex.

Another reason Daniela took up with married men.

 

16 hours ago, TricianMike said:

The sex is different with married men,

Which is the reason why our situation of swinging with a group of married couples also works well.  Daniela is fascinated with fucking married men whose wives are involved.  And she can easily satisfy her Lesbian side with them.

 

16 hours ago, TricianMike said:

I would never think of him as cuckold or being emasculated by a man.

I have never felt that way either. 

 

16 hours ago, TricianMike said:

he is there as a protector, making sure I am safe

Another big advantage of our closed married couples group is trust and safety, we even watch one another's children.  And we always go bareback.

 

There's no humiliation, rather admiration of my wife and appreciation for being able to spend time with her.

[AndrewandAnn 360]

19 hours ago, Anon321 said:

I agree.  When my GF hooks up with married men or men who are in committed relationship it's purely about the sex.  They also have their own separate lives so they are good at keeping distance and not being overbearing and constantly looking for more sex every second.  And a lot of them are in good relationships but they are not getting fulfilled sexually.  I have a friend who is happily married but he doesn't have as much sex as he wants and his wife will not even give him a blowjob - but my GF will.

 

Is it wrong to have sex with married people?  Maybe.  But our feeling is that everyone involved is an adult and no one is being taken advantage of.  So if everyone who is present is ok with it then we proceed forward.

Let me first qualify my reply by saying this is not a moral judgement on you or anyone with whom you or your girlfriend are involved. It's still a (comparatively) free country, and adults are allowed to pursue their happiness anyway that suits them, regardless of where it eventually leads.

 

However, here are a couple of different perspectives on this topic:

 

On your last point, "... no one is being taken advantage of...", I have to say that is demonstrably untrue. The spouse of the cheater is certainly being taken advantage of, knowingly or unknowingly. And that fact carries with it the potential, if not probability, for eventual bad outcomes, not to mention bad karma, for everyone involved. Cheating is cheating. If it weren't, it would be called something else.

 

As far as many of the men with whom your girlfriend cheats being in otherwise "... good relationships...", that doesn't pass the sniff test, either. It's hard to qualify a relationship as being "good" when one spouse has such little respect or loyalty for the other that he is willing to lie and cheat on her. That is, in fact, the opposite of a good relationship. It is one that is deeply flawed and headed for an eventual train wreck, likely to sweep up a some innocent people (the children, for instance) in the carnage.

 

Moreover, there is the practical question of, Why would one willingly invite someone like that into his/her life when there are so many other good options? As a student of human behavior, I cannot imagine wanting to invite someone one *positively* knows is liar into one's intimate life. These people are, by definition, not to be trusted. If they are willing to lie to their spouses, they are only too happy to lie to your girlfriend.

 

As for motivations... I suspect your girlfriend gets an extra thrill out of the taboo nature of having sex with a married, cheating man. The lying, sneaking around, and all the drama that goes with illicit affairs, adds to the excitement. And I imagine she gets an extra boost to her ego by being the woman who can sexually satisfy a man the duped married woman cannot.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Anon321 521]

23 minutes ago, AndrewandAnn said:

On your last point, "... no one is being taken advantage of...", I have to say that is demonstrably untrue. The spouse of the cheater is certainly being taken advantage of, knowingly or unknowingly. And that fact carries with it the potential, if not probability, for eventual bad outcomes, not to mention bad karma, for everyone involved. Cheating is cheating. If it weren't, it would be called something else.

This might be true but that's on the cheater.  We don't know or have any loyalty to the spouse and we often don't know what their exact situation is unless they divulge it.  They make the choices and if they're going to cheat then they are going to cheat - whether it's with my GF or someone else.  You might feel differently about it but this is how we feel.

 

Quote

As far as many of the men with whom your girlfriend cheats being in otherwise "... good relationships...", that doesn't pass the sniff test, either. It's hard to qualify a relationship as being "good" when one spouse has such little respect or loyalty for the other that he is willing to lie and cheat on her. That is, in fact, the opposite of a good relationship. It is one that is deeply flawed and headed for an eventual train wreck, likely to sweep up a some innocent people (the children, for instance) in the carnage.

"Good" to them.  We don't know what goes on in their relationships and we're not there to play psychiatrist to try and find out nor are we going to judge their relationship.

 

Quote

Moreover, there is the practical question of, Why would one willingly invite someone like that into his/her life when there are so many other good options? As a student of human behavior, I cannot imagine wanting to invite someone one *positively* knows is liar into one's intimate life. These people are, by definition, not to be trusted. If they are willing to lie to their spouses, they are only too happy to lie to your girlfriend.

 

As for motivations... I suspect your girlfriend gets an extra thrill out of the taboo nature of having sex with a married, cheating man. The lying, sneaking around, and all the drama that goes with illicit affairs, adds to the excitement. And I imagine she gets an extra boost to her ego by being the woman who can sexually satisfy a man the duped married woman cannot.

I don't think you're necessarily wrong.  I think she gets some kind of thrill and excitement from having sex with married men.  I also think some young men get excited when they have sex with a MILF and some older men get excited when they have sex with a 19 year old, etc.  That's sex.

[AndrewandAnn 360]

5 minutes ago, Anon321 said:

This might be true but that's on the cheater.  We don't know or have any loyalty to the spouse and we often don't know what their exact situation is unless they divulge it.  They make the choices and if they're going to cheat then they are going to cheat - whether it's with my GF or someone else.  You might feel differently about it but this is how we feel.

 

"Good" to them.  We don't know what goes on in their relationships and we're not there to play psychiatrist to try and find out nor are we going to judge their relationship.

 

I don't think you're necessarily wrong.  I think she gets some kind of thrill and excitement from having sex with married men.  I also think some young men get excited when they have sex with a MILF and some older men get excited when they have sex with a 19 year old, etc.  That's sex.

I understand the justifications, rationales, equivocations, and equivalencies. They are the universal fall backs cited by nearly everyone who cheats.

 

I was providing a different perspective; one grounded more in the practical reality of cheating and the outcomes it usually produces.

 

Wishing you and your girlfriend happy lives. You've staked out your positions. I sincerely hope they work out for you and the people with whom you/she are involved.

 

 

[Anon321 521]

5 hours ago, AndrewandAnn said:

I understand the justifications, rationales, equivocations, and equivalencies. They are the universal fall backs cited by nearly everyone who cheats.

 

I was providing a different perspective; one grounded more in the practical reality of cheating and the outcomes it usually produces.

 

Wishing you and your girlfriend happy lives. You've staked out your positions. I sincerely hope they work out for you and the people with whom you/she are involved.

 

 

I appreciate your perspective and we understand the potential outcomes.  As an FYI - there is no foolproof plan to know that you're only engaging in sex with single men.  There is an overwhelming amount of men out there that are married but play single in and out of the lifestyle.  The only difference is ignorance as some think it's better if they just don't know.  But I can assure you that if your SO has regularly engaged in sex with "single" men then I would feel almost certain that she has most likely had sex with someone who cheated on their wife.  Unless you're building long lasting relationships with these men prior to having sex then you've most likely played with a cheater.  But that's just our opinion.

[AndrewandAnn 360]

1 hour ago, Anon321 said:

I appreciate your perspective and we understand the potential outcomes.  As an FYI - there is no foolproof plan to know that you're only engaging in sex with single men.  There is an overwhelming amount of men out there that are married but play single in and out of the lifestyle.  The only difference is ignorance as some think it's better if they just don't know.  But I can assure you that if your SO has regularly engaged in sex with "single" men then I would feel almost certain that she has most likely had sex with someone who cheated on their wife.  Unless you're building long lasting relationships with these men prior to having sex then you've most likely played with a cheater.  But that's just our opinion.

For reasons I wrote about earlier in this thread and in other posts, as well as the ones you just cited, as a rule we do not play with singles. We play exclusively with two people who are either married (our preference) or couples in demonstrable long-term committed relationships. And we limit them to a small, intimate group of people we get to know quite well.

 

This is a win for us on many levels. The sex is better. The health risks are minimized. And the potential for drama is mitigated.

 

We realize, of course, for some people the drama IS the point. The inherent risk, and taboo nature of being involved with a cheating spouse is actually an essential part of the thrill and fulfills some unrequited psychological need that goes beyond sex. The lying, sneaking around, close calls, sexual conquest, relationship voyeurism, etc. are all part of the scene and actually enhance the short-term gratification.

 

 

 

 

[Numex 2,409]

11 hours ago, AndrewandAnn said:

 

On your last point, "... no one is being taken advantage of...", I have to say that is demonstrably untrue. The spouse of the cheater is certainly being taken advantage of, knowingly or unknowingly

Let me start by saying that I agree with you.  When Daniela and I started to become serious, I said that I didn't demand monogamy, but no married men (or women) unless the spouse knew, and none of the married person's spouses did.  Our relationship was such that she became monogamous with me. 

 

When we started hotwifing/swinging, I had the same requirement, to which she agreed.

 

On the other hand, however, I had the opportunity to meet socially for several hours with three of the couples where the husband cheated on his wife with my now-wife.  Everything was cordial between the women, and if there was damage to their relationship, I couldn't sense it, and my antenna were up.

 

I still think it's a bad idea, but I understood the other side a little.  Daniela said she didn't consider it any more wrong for the guy than if he were jerking off.  Plus she bought gifts for the wives and kids for him to give, some of which the women really treasure. 

Edited July 28, 2021 by Numex
subjunctive case

[Numex 2,409]

3 hours ago, AndrewandAnn said:

We play exclusively with two people who are either married (our preference) or couples in demonstrable long-term committed relationships. And we limit them to a small, intimate group of people we get to know quite well.

 

This is a win for us on many levels. The sex is better. The health risks are minimized. And the potential for drama is mitigated.

That's where we ended up for all the reasons you give.  And interestingly, Daniela agrees that it is better.  She still gets her "fucking a married man" fulfillment along with the fun of his wife being there, plus the the thrill of her own husband doing it with other, married, women.  The fact that everyone knows what their spouse is doing has only enhanced the pleasure for her since she can engage with the wives socially and especially sexually that were previously only in the realm of fantasy.

Edited July 28, 2021 by Numex

[TricianMike 772]

On 7/27/2021 at 8:28 AM, Numex said:

Another big advantage of our closed married couples group is trust and safety, we even watch one another's children.  And we always go bareback.

We enjoy meeting new partners instead of a closed group. Maybe not the safest way of going I have played with total strangers at times not knowing names. The strange thing is we don’t go to clubs. We have what we call Hunt & Conquer where we search out partners in a very vanilla setting. The biggest win is finding a couple to join us, hardly happens but finding men is much easier. 

[MasterFuckdaddyLongdick 2]

On 4/8/2021 at 10:27 PM, alicenaraa said:

I want to utilize this forum to find some fun.

Us as well

[Numex 2,409]

On 7/30/2021 at 9:48 AM, TricianMike said:

We have what we call Hunt & Conquer where we search out partners in a very vanilla setting.

Before we formed our closed group we did somewhat the same.  The biggest win for us would be finding a unicorn who was into playing with both of us.  Daniela had many more hits with women who were looking for a Lesbian adventure, both single women and married whose husbands were good with it..  She would also be, and liked very much, being the third for a married couple.  Since both spouses were involved, I was fine with it.

Edited August 1, 2021 by Numex

[couplers 4,614]

On 7/30/2021 at 9:48 AM, TricianMike said:

We have what we call Hunt & Conquer where we search out partners in a very vanilla setting.

When I became open to hubby having sex with other women after him allowing me to have a boyfriend for two years, one of the things that made it acceptable to me was that I was the one who chose the women among my friends and acquaintances.  When the talk among us girls, and we were girls at the time, turn to sex, which it inevitably did even among the religious/conservative/shy girls, many would comment about how attractive my husband is.  That gave me an opening to say that he finds you very attractive too, whether he said such a thing or not.  If they went a little further and asked what it was like to sleep with him, I would say that it could be arranged and I would be flattered if you did.  The fact that he was married was appealing to them, and that I was happy for them to screw him took away their remaining inhibitions.  It worked out well at the time, no drama.  Two of them joined hubby, Red and me to form our poly family.  We are still are on good terms with all of them, no drama, and even socialize occasionally, including with two who are married and their husbands know about their wives' exploits with us.