Question as we plan to dip our toes in...

[Seanandem 48]

So my wife and I have discussed swinging for several years.  We've decided we're going to play soon, maybe by visiting a new lifestyle club in our town.

 

We've discussed our preferences, boundaries, concerns, etc....

 

The Mrs. Biggest concern is:

 

We both feel like we're really going to enjoy this.  I'd like to see her with another woman, and she's always been curious about women.  She has no doubt she'll enjoy that experience. I'd also like to see her with another man.  She has said me and another guy with her would be hot, and we roleplay this often..  We're both bi-curious.

 

So her concern is that once we start down this path, our regular love-making, and occasional fucking may seem diminished because adding a third or possibly another couple is going to be erotic overload, so to speak.

 

How do y'all experienced swingers find this has affected your normal, day-to-day sex lives?

 

Does regular love making seem less intense since y'all started swinging?

 

Thanks in advance.

 

Sean

 

 

[Anon321 522]

I can say that me and my GF's day to day sex life has not diminished but that could be because it's a lot different than our "swinging sex."  If anything I would say that the "swinging sex" feels less exciting over time more than the day to day stuff.

[Alura 2,774]

That's a ponderable question, Seananem! Thanks for posing it.

I think our first experience (also with an inexperienced couple, Linda and Larry), taught us the difference between "sex for fun" and "lovemaking." Laura said that the moment she guided Larry's forbidden cock into her, was one of the most sexually exciting things she'd done. They had shared a lot of saliva. Not only was she turned on beyond measure, probably because it was the first time she'd guided another man in since our marriage, but his wife was probably doing the same for me in the living room. They had sex twice before they panted into the living room where they found me between Linda's thighs, her toes pointed to the ceiling, making guttural sounds deep in her throat, sucking my tongue. When we came back to earth, Laura and Larry knelt by the couch and lovingly kissed their mates, my cock still inside Linda. Larry and Linda went to their bedroom and Laura and I to the couch, where we experienced a deeper kind of lovemaking. Loving each other after fucking another couple became our main reason for "swapping."

Swapping, however, never came close to the satisfaction we found with each other. Laura said her orgasms were always better when we were together. I'd have to agree.

 

[adamgunn 1,460]

I understand her concern, it's real for her, it needs to be addressed. I can only say to her, 'try it, you'll like it!'

 

Humans have a thing with sex, when they have it and it's hot, they want more of it. When they don't have it for awhile, they tend to lose interest. 

When you have sex with somebody else, you'll find that you're so turned on you can't wait to have sex with your spouse. It's fantastic.

But, of course, it's one of those things that seems a little counterproductive until you actually experience it.

 

Best of luck.

[EastInWest 1,524]

I think our experience is generally the opposite, and from discussions of "reclamation sex" as a phenomenon, I think it's generally the opposite for a lot of people.

 

We might have 2x or 3x the normal amount of sex for a week or so after playing, with more casual dirty talk, etc.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Swinging sex seems to reignite the passion and make loving sex more passionate again. For us, the thought of 'replacing' one with the other is just silly...two different things totally, but it does seem to put more spark into the 'normal, day to day' (for lack of a better term) sex.

[lovefest04 699]

Great questions.

 

But we have also experienced the opposite. Not less intense but more.

 

The sex between us is explosive after sex with playmates. The high lasts for a week or more and is reignited when we re-visit the memories of the playtime evenings together. IE 'remember when you...that was fucking hot' then we get all horny for each other all over.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Our experience is consistent with all the  above - swinging sex supercharges our sex life at home.  Not that there was anything wrong with it to start with that it needed any supercharging, but it's undeniable that it is like pouring gas on the fire.  Does that eventually become a detriment, a "have to have it" sort of thing? Nope, supercharged sex is great, but so is gently making love to the one you love.  They aren't mutually exclusive, and it's just what you are in the mood for.  When the sex matches the mood, then everyone will be happy and fulfilled

[Seanandem 48]

Thanks to all who replied!  More takes on this question are welcome!  

 

One more quick question to pose...

 

Can anyone estimate the average age of swingers in clubs?  The Mrs. is mid thirties.  (I'm smart enough to not talk about her age in too much detail...lol)

 

She's concerned we're getting too old for this.  I'm in my mid 40s.  I told her we'd likely be right in the middle as far as age.

 

On a side note, a new lifestyle club has opened in Omaha.  Forbidden Omaha opened in February.  Ive heard its AMAZING!  

 

Hope I'm not breaking any rules by saying the name on here.  

 

Thanks again!  

Sean

Edited April 16, 2021 by Seanandem

[adamgunn 1,460]

49 minutes ago, Seanandem said:

Can anyone estimate the average age of swingers in clubs?  The Mrs. is mid thirties.  (I'm smart enough to not talk about her age in too much detail...lol)

 

She's concerned we're getting too old for this.  I'm in my mid 40s.  I told her we'd likely be right in the middle as far as age.

It depends on the club, and even more importantly, the night.

 

In her thirties, at many clubs she'll be on the young side, probably.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Quote

She's concerned we're getting too old for this.

 

As Adamgunn said, it depends on the club and the night but most people in their 30's are at home taking care of the children. Swingers either start under 30 or over 40. IOHO most are 40-60 but regardless to your age, there is another couple out there that is a perfect match for you, you just have to find them. Being on the young side, you generally will have more of a choice as well.

[Seanandem 48]

Thanks all!  I figured we'd be right in the "sweet spot".  Seems like we're close! 

[LaidBackFun 36]

Our sex life exploded after we started swinging. My wife wanted more sex then ever before. 

[MrandMrsAgf 14]

On 4/16/2021 at 12:46 PM, cplnuswing said:

Our experience is consistent with all the  above - swinging sex supercharges our sex life at home.  Not that there was anything wrong with it to start with that it needed any supercharging, but it's undeniable that it is like pouring gas on the fire.  Does that eventually become a detriment, a "have to have it" sort of thing? Nope, supercharged sex is great, but so is gently making love to the one you love.  They aren't mutually exclusive, and it's just what you are in the mood for.  When the sex matches the mood, then everyone will be happy and fulfilled

So excited to read this. We are in the “talking stage” and I am already super charged by thinking about it. We are having fun exploring and taking in the journey. 

[Thegreyarea 100]

Reconnection sex is our drug. Yes, we have great sex with our friends but the sex between us that follows is fucking amazing. 

[couplers 4,639]

On 4/15/2021 at 12:59 PM, Alura said:

Laura and Larry knelt by the couch and lovingly kissed their mates, my cock still inside Linda... Loving each other after fucking another couple became our main reason for "swapping."

Yeah, we love to cross-kiss as well, especially the women with each other as the guys are in us.  Me having sex with someone else, and watching two other people in our family who I love having had sex together, makes me fell closer and want to be closer. 

 

On 4/15/2021 at 12:59 PM, Alura said:

Laura said her orgasms were always better when we were together.

If a spouse is generous enough to let you have orgasms with someone else, he gets the credit.  Hubby has always wished for me to have the best sex that I can, and help make it happen.

[EastInWest 1,524]

On 8/23/2021 at 6:08 PM, couplers said:

Yeah, we love to cross-kiss as well, especially the women with each other as the guys are in us.  Me having sex with someone else, and watching two other people in our family who I love having had sex together, makes me fell closer and want to be closer. 

One of the hotter orgasms I've had involved Mrs. E making out with me and giving me a handjob while a playmate had her bent over the bed. All three of us came at about the same time - her and I as we realized he was about to cum. Good stuff and one of those scenes I think about a lot.

Edited August 25, 2021 by EastInWest