Together or Alone

[NoAngels 334]

A question about swinging together or alone had me thinking what is the reason for swinging. I believe that both of us should have pleasure in the things we do. When we are alone our sex is very good, I have pleasure, she has pleasure, I hope, and I love to pleasure her. 
When we have dinner together, I enjoy the food, she enjoys the food and if I cooked the dinner I enjoy that she enjoyed the meal. 
When we see a show together, we both enjoy but one might enjoy differently than the other. Our tastes in music are very similar but she enjoys some artists more than I. 
The question is do I have to watch her eat dinner for her to enjoy it? Do I have to have watch me eat to enjoy? Does she enjoy meals less when she goes out with friends? Does watching her watching a show make it enjoyable to me or should I just watch the show and enjoy. If I watch her enjoying it is taking away from me watching the show. When she goes out with a friend to a show, concert or dinner and she tells me how good it was, I am happy for her. Don’t get me wrong, we enjoy doing those things together, does the food taste better because I am there? 
Swinging gives us the opportunity to enjoy new sensations. We don’t watch the same show every time, we don’t eat at the same restaurant or order the same thing every day. Do I have my favorite dish at my favorite restaurant? Of course. I also have my favorite partner, my wife. 
I posted before that both of us have played with others. My wife enjoys meeting married men for no strings attached sex. I enjoy meeting women when I travel. I do t have to ask her why, I think I know, every experience is different. Every partner does things differently. 
After years of separate sex we decided to try meeting couples together. Of course I knew she had sex before with men, I just never watched. Swinging had a different vibe for me. Alone I would bring a date to a room and we would kiss and undress an do what a couple does. Swinging was too planned. I found myself both a spectator and a participant. Was I supposed to get joy from watching my wife taking a cock in her mouth? Did I get enjoyment before watching her have dinner. If I only watched her eat dinner, how much would I enjoy my dinner?  That first time swinging  I was so preoccupied watching her giving a blowjob I almost forgot I was getting one too. My wife was so comfortable doing what she was doing. When he positioned her for entry and she moaned was I to feel different from when she said the pasta at dinner was delicious? 
My sexual experience was different knowing she was in the room. I think I was more reserved, taming down my enjoyment. I think both of our experiences were tamed down. I can’t say for her, my contact was less intimate, less cuddling and when the sex was over the after sex was ended more abruptly. 
The next meetings were different than the first yet not the same as the meetings I had on the road. I asked her how she felt, she understood and agreed it’s different. We are learning to enjoy meetings together, I don’t have as many opportunities to solo play with travel put on halt. She has just started meeting more new men, with my approval, she know shows me the contacts and emails that are exchanged. She also talks more about her meetings. 

[NoAngels 334]

Edited version 

 

A question about swinging together or alone had me thinking what is the reason for swinging. I believe that both of us should have pleasure in the things we do. When we are alone our sex is very good, I have pleasure, she has pleasure, I hope, and I love to pleasure her. 
When we have dinner together, I enjoy the food, she enjoys the food and if I cooked the dinner I enjoy that she enjoyed the meal. 
When we see a show together, we both enjoy but one might enjoy differently than the other. Our tastes in music are very similar but she enjoys some artists more than I. 
The question is do I have to watch her eat dinner for her to enjoy it? Do I have to have watch me eat to enjoy? Does she enjoy meals less when she goes out with friends? Does watching her watching a show make it more enjoyable to me or should I just watch the show and enjoy myself. If I watch her enjoying it, is it taking away from me watching the show. When she goes out with a friend to a show, concert or dinner and she tells me how good it was, I am happy for her just as I would be if I was sitting with her. Don’t get me wrong, we enjoy doing those things together, does the food taste better because I am there? 
Swinging gives us the opportunity to enjoy new sensations. We don’t watch the same show every time, we don’t eat at the same restaurant or order the same thing every day. Do I have my favorite dish at my favorite restaurant? Of course. I also have my favorite partner, my wife. 
I posted before that both of us have played with others. My wife enjoys meeting married men for no strings attached sex. I enjoy meeting women when I travel. I don’t  have to ask her why, I think I know, every experience is different. Every partner does things differently. 
After years of separate sex we decided to try meeting couples together. Of course I knew she had sex before with men, I just never watched. Swinging had a different vibe for me. Alone I would bring a date to a room and we would kiss and undress and do what a couple does. Swinging was too planned. I found myself both a spectator and a participant instead of a natural progression.  Was I supposed to get joy from watching my wife taking a cock in her mouth? Did I get enjoyment before watching her have dinner. If I only watched her eat dinner, how much would I enjoy my dinner?  That first time swinging  I was so preoccupied watching her giving a blowjob I almost forgot I was getting one too. My wife was so comfortable doing what she was doing, uninhibited by me being there.  When he positioned her for entry and she moaned was I to feel different from when she said the pasta at dinner was delicious? 
My sexual experience was different knowing she was in the room. I think I was more reserved, taming down my enjoyment. I think both of our experiences were tamed down. I can’t say for her, my contact was less intimate, less cuddling and when the sex was over the after sex was ended more abruptly. 
The next meetings were different than the first yet not the same as the meetings I had on the road. I asked her how she felt, she understood and agreed it’s different. We are learning to enjoy meetings together, I don’t have as many opportunities for solo play with travel put on halt. She has just started meeting more new men, with my approval, she now shows me the contacts and emails that are exchanged. She also talks more about her meetings. It’s funny, I don’t enjoy finding sex partners online or in apps, I enjoy the meetings and the natural flow of a willing partner. 

[adamgunn 1,460]

You have a good analogy there, but it has a flaw, as every analogy does.

 

I certainly agree that if you eat apart, both people will enjoy their meals. But . . . if you eat together, then there are additional joys you may have. You get to have discussion, you get to try each other's meals, and you can see the joy in your partner's face if she has a particularly spectacular taste. However, if she has ordered liver, and you hate the smell of liver, then you may be disappointed that the scent is harming your own enjoyment.

 

Swinging and Open Relationships are like that as well. If you are separate, you will probably both enjoy yourselves. But . . . if you swing together you may get to enjoy each other's squeals and moans. The foursome can go back and forth in whatever configurations they desire. However, if you don't enjoy the sights, sounds and scents of your partner enjoying her/himself, then you may be disappointed in the experience with your own temporary partner.

 

Each couple is different. It appears that you like having an open relationship rather than swinging, that swinging together is not to your palate. And that's certainly fine.

[MidwestHoneys 358]

4 hours ago, adamgunn said:

You have a good analogy there, but it has a flaw, as every analogy does.

 

I certainly agree that if you eat apart, both people will enjoy their meals. But . . . if you eat together, then there are additional joys you may have. You get to have discussion, you get to try each other's meals, and you can see the joy in your partner's face if she has a particularly spectacular taste.

I like being with Honey when we are with others and watching her sucking a cock or having her mouth fed a load is great and I never want to share what is eating. I can pretend what she is eating is liver and let her finish it alone. I don’t mind sharing Honey with any type of partner male of female and invite Honey share any female I’m with. Heck I enjoy sharing any female she is with. Similar to the OP I don’t mind if Honey enjoys a treat without me. I don’t have to watch her eat ice cream or read the same book as her. I will add if I am sexed by a that female I don’t mind sharing with Honey, I kind of enjoy two ladies together. 

[Shore2Please 611]

We do everything as a couple and I enjoy doing things in groups. We enjoy eating out, going to clubs, vacations, concerts together and with friends. I enjoy tasting what he ordered, even liver, and we always share a dessert. I always felt we married and agreed to share the joys of life together. 
Wait! Almost everything! 
SEX is the exception. Yes I love having sex with my husband, it is the biggest thing that I enjoy with just one person. I have sex for pleasure not for show, I don’t want to think about others enjoying watching me enjoying.  My view of group sex has lightened up, I don’t hate it as much. Over the years I found I can now watch my husband and be happy he is enjoying even though I can be happy for him without watching. 
Call me a romantic, I enjoy being with a single partner, in a bed, having uninhibited sex. 

[Ozzie+Harriet 84]

Together. If I want to have sex alone with someone, I'd just have sex with Harriet. The only thing about involving others is the ability to do things that can't be done with two people. I couldn't care less about having the opportunity to just fuck someone else. I care about the opportunity to do something different.

[enhancer 1,585]

1 hour ago, Ozzie+Harriet said:

Together. If I want to have sex alone with someone, I'd just have sex with Harriet. The only thing about involving others is the ability to do things that can't be done with two people. I couldn't care less about having the opportunity to just fuck someone else. I care about the opportunity to do something different.

We feel the same way as you!

[lovefest04 699]

We always play together, but i can see how playing alone provides certain benefits.

 

The thrill of a new partner.

The opportunity to be totally uninhibited.

The focus on one person and vise-versa.

The coming together after and telling the other in great detail what happened.