Not sure how

[Living life 21 7]

Ok so I’m not sure how to begin this I want to start to swinging I like seeing my wife being enjoyd and arrouse by her toy and she secretly likes watching me see other girls where can I start I want to upload our pics as well 

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Have you talked to her about it?  What does she think?

[Living life 21 7]

No I haven’t yet talked to her about it how should I do it really turns me on to see her wanting something else 

[Living life 21 7]

I mean we never done it before where we go openly swinging when we have sex or I’m using her bbc toy on her she tells me she wants the real thing not my cock something bigger but I’m not sure if she is real or just horny also she is shy 

[MidwestHoneys 359]

16 hours ago, Living life 21 said:

Ok so I’m not sure how to begin this I want to start to swinging I like seeing my wife being enjoyd and arrouse by her toy and she secretly likes watching me see other girls where can I start I want to upload our pics as well 

You can post her pics on here. 

[enhancer 1,586]

The way to start is to talk to her openly about it!  If you can’t do that with each other then there isn’t a next step to take. 

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,422]

Nothing ventured nothing gained.  None of us would be involved in the Lifestyle if we never broached the subject with our spouses.  Usually it starts as pillow talk, that may lead to an exploratory trip to a swing club... approach it as an adventure you want to share together, listen carefully to her feelings on the subject and never come across as pushy about the idea.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

First: talk with her outside of a sexual situation. Just sit down with her and ask. If you don't feel that you can do this, it's usually because you don't have a strong enough relationship. If that is the case, then the first step is to build the relationship. Swinging REQUIRES an abundance of love, trust and communication. Make sure that you have all three of these in ABUNDANCE.

 

Usually the easiest way to start this conversation is to start talking about your sexual fantasies (once again, outside of a sexual situation). She needs to trust you enough and communicate well enough to know that whatever she says will not be judged by you, but accepted as the gift it is. Once you BOTH share your fantasies, then you can ask if she is interested in making any of them come true. This is a second big step because a fantasy is pretend and some people cannot make the jump into making it a reality. Remember, not everyone (in fact, very few) are 'wired' in such a way where they can accept swinging. If she is one of the majority, then you need to let this fantasy go...she may not (as in probably won't ever) change. If you can make it to this point and everything is still going great, then come back and we will take you thru the next steps. Good luck and let us know how things are going.

[Living life 21 7]

Ok well today I brought it up. And she is willing to do it she is just shy because she is just a tad over weight. But I told her it was fine she said she would love to try it as long as the people we are talking too are all on the same page. I made love to her last night and as I was inside her thrusting away she started blowing the bbc dildo and she asked me if I like it. I then said I love it . She started jerking off the dildo while I was inside her . Oh man it turns me on lol. She did stated she wanted to meet a couple but that the male had to have a flat stomach and muscular I told her Maybee we can exchange numbers and text it  out with the couple send pics to each other comfortably with each other and she said that’s sounds like a good idea 

[njbm 2,901]

Well it sounds like you are headed in the right direction. Bon voyage!

[Living life 21 7]

Thank u now all I need is a couple who wants to swing with us preferably a hung guy for my wife ?and hope they are good people too 

we would love to have an open relationship even if it’s over the phone 

[njbm 2,901]

Don’t get too hung up on body part shapes and sizes. You’ll have more fun with nice, considerate partners. 

[lcmim 1,086]

"she is just shy because she is just a tad over weight."

"male had to have a flat stomach and muscular"

"preferably a hung guy"

 

Ummm.  njbm is heading you down the better path than the one that you seem to be on at the moment.

[Idahocouple6969 294]

12 hours ago, njbm said:

Don’t get too hung up on body part shapes and sizes. You’ll have more fun with nice, considerate partners. 

Some really good advice. I always recommed having a kitchen table discussion. NOT pillows talk. When you both sit there and can reveal all of your fantasies and i mean all of them. Then you are ready to lay out you your boundaries.  

Excellent 2 way conversations are the only way to get where you want to go. 

You see posts on sls all the time for people looking for specific types of people

  

[Fundamental Law 2,903]

1. Amen to the "kitchen table" conversation.

2. Age, size, body parts, skin tone...what matter is how the other person makes you feel and vice versa. It turns out that the key organ is the one between the ears. 

[TeamCalgary 169]

7 minutes ago, Fundamental Law said:

1. Amen to the "kitchen table" conversation.

2. Age, size, body parts, skin tone...what matter is how the other person makes you feel and vice versa. It turns out that the key organ is the one between the ears. 

 

Amen to that brother. 

We engage in sex with the person, not their body parts!

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

A vist to a swingers club will take care of her weight fears. It's not just the 'beautiful people' who are there...it looks pretty much just like the people you would see at the market. All shapes, sizes and colors and they all can find people interested in them. However, this has also motivated others to improve themselves as well (worked for both of us). Also, now that you have taken the first step, the next step is to set your limits and boundaries, whatever they may be. Keep in mind that these will be a fluid, ever changing thing, however, never exceed them once set and the only time they can be modified is outside of a sexual situation and only if both of you agrees on the new settings.

[enhancer 1,586]

You can be as picky as you want about looks, body type and penis size!  That is your choice.  Just remember that the people on the other end can be too and it may take you a lot longer to find what you are looking for with that approach.  
 

If you are just looking for a single guy however you may have better luck, because many of them will hit just about anything that moves!

[bbarnsworth 2,652]

On 5/5/2021 at 7:14 PM, Living life 21 said:

Ok well today I brought it up. And she is willing to do it she is just shy because she is just a tad over weight. But I told her it was fine ...

We've seen this many, many times from new swingers. It is very common for a woman getting into swinging to find fault with her weight, appearance, etc. I can't tell you how many times I've seen this. Our society places enormous pressure on women for their looks, weight, clothes, etc. It's all bunk.

 

The swinging world is made up of people of all shapes and sizes. Your wife can't control whether people find her attractive or not. It's not up to her. All she can do is but her best foot forward. If another couple or guy doesn't find her attractive, so be it. On to the next.

 

As for swinging in general; now that you're talking about it, you need to have lots of conversations about it both in and OUTside of the bedroom. This is an important relationship step. Being turned on by it is pretty much a given (for most, anyway). Being ready to do it is quite another. Talk with your wife about this, about feelings, thoughts, situations, rules, needs, desires, etc. Rushing into it works for some couples but not most. This applies to her AND you. Being aroused by the fantasy of watching your wife have sex with another man is one thing; reality could be another. I find it intensely enjoyable, but some men don't react quite the same when presented with reality.