How should I bring another encounter or not....?

[cpl36996 91]

Four years ago my wife FWB and me had a night never to be forgotten specially for her. But at the middle of the play our FWB grab my cock like to play against my wife pussy and when it was his turn with my wife I returned the favor the same way, everything was ok with the three of us nothing was said about it....two weeks later when I try to arrange another night the three of us my wife said no for no reason, so I didn't push it for a reason. Another two weeks passed by and I proposed the same setting and she got a little angry but this time I demanded a reason, she said: that she was angry from the last get together and that we went gay touching each others cocks and she didn't like that. I replied if she didn't like that she should have told me that night and not a month later.

I also told her we did it to make her more excite and that doesn't mean I'm gay or becoming one either.

Well it's been two years and I afraid to bring the subject back or don't know how to bring it back. I'm sure deep in her she love the threesome. she told me she love that night an I can attest to that the way she came that night with her FWB.

Now my question is.... .. how can I approach her again without getting into an argument?? What's going thru woman's mind....

[Lionheart72 2,190]

9 hours ago, cpl36996 said:

Now my question is.... .. how can I approach her again without getting into an argument?? What's going thru woman's mind....

Psychic powers notwithstanding, the only way to know what's going through her mind is to talk to her. The only way to approach her is to approach her. Obviously, it's still on your mind, so you need to talk to her about it. How do you talk about other difficult issues?

 

Some couples get there by sitting down and having a calm, rational discussion. Some couples need the catharsis of screaming at each other first in order to reach the place where they can have the calm, rational discussion. (I've been in both kinds of places at various times in my relationships.) In the end, however you get there you need to get to that place where you can have an open, honest conversation about what is really bothering you (which I don't think you've mentioned) and what is really bother her (which you won't know until she tells you).

[lovefest04 700]

I can't begin to try to understand what's going through your wife's mind.

 

I can't think of a more appropriate time to communicate, communicate communicate. The only way to move forward is to talk to each other. Learn where your boundaries are and commit to activities that don't cross those boundaries. Make sure you communicate your desire and boundaries with your FWB and give it a go.

 

As with all aspects of our lives. S^&t happens. These are learning opportunities. Learn from it and then move forward. Whether that is swinging again or not.

[lcmim 1,082]

I agree with both of the above.

Tell her again that this was about her pleasure not yours.

If she cannot accept that, then YOU accept how she feels.

This is not all that different than the lady thinking you are in this to have a FMF threesome.

 

It might help if you had her pick the third, if she is willing to try again.

Whatever happens honor her feelings in the matter.

 

Edited May 6, 2021 by lcmim

[lcmim 1,082]

A question occurred to me after I posted the above.

Is your previous third still an active FWB with your wife?

[Anon321 523]

I'm a bit surprised your wife got so upset over that.  I'm also a bit surprised the guy would just grab your dick like that.  Sounds like something you just need to talk to her about.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

To be successful swingers you need an abundance of love/trust/communication. Since she didn't feel like she could openly talk about what happened four years ago until you forced the issue and even now you are afraid that if you approach the subject again you will get into an argument means that you really need to work on your communication with her. So there's where you need to start, fixing the communication (even if you never have another 3some, this needs to be fixed) and then think about asking if she would be interested in this again and be sure to set rules and limits (and stand by them once set).

[cpl36996 91]

Thanks everyone for the input....when we started on 2013 with our FWB our boundaries were card blanch but we never thought that was going to be an issue for us, we thought we have discussed every aspect of the encounter but that took us by surprise for me and FWB and from what I hear this is a subject to talk between the 3 of us and this time go an extra mile with any variation that might arise so everyone is on the same page...??