Am I normal ? )for the ones who like it rough)

[SlimNswingin 0]

So I’ve always felt in some way that I wasn’t normal so I’m looking for feed back from guys and women guys I want to know if you’ve felt or still feel like I do women I want to know about your run ins with guys who like it rough or your experience with guys and their fantasies.....most of the time you have a talk with some one about what your sexual fantasies it’s some one you have feelings for or been with long enough to be comfortable...with the subject or been together long enough to care about the others ones sexual fantasies ..I’ve been with different women over the years but only a couple of my past partners were average of that ..some past relationships had a sex life that was more like a routine many past relationships have had sex lifes that made me feel like was missing something I’ve always held back cause I was worried that it’s be to rough and they’d look at me like a creep or like I had something wrong with me I’ve never talked about what I really want until I met my current partner . We always had great sex since day one but as time went on we had a period of time we we using MDMA  and always found new ways positions angels and all types of stuff ..I’ve opened up more to her but still havnt flat out said what I want and she keeps telling me to just try it one day not tell her just try it but I’m torn between my love for her and the one sexual thing I’ve always wanted ..I know what I want is rough and it can be scary and even dangerous .....how do u tell a women u love u want to fuck her like a whore  talk to her like she’s a slut..how do u tell her your fantasy is to fuck her throat with her have no control ..I can’t bring my self to tell this women o want to duck her like she’s just some slut  and throat fuck her til I achieve a throat pie ..guys am o the only one who’s fantasy is to fuck your girl like a slut like you don’t know her .to talk dirty and maybe even slightly degrade her ?  ..women do you feel your partners have held back ? Would you be ok if your boufriend/husband told u he wanted to fuck u like a whore not like his wife or girlfriend ? I honestly feel this is a big part of why married men hire escorts or prostitues  even just for a blowjob they have no connection the man has no care of what he says to her hurts her 

[Lionheart72 2,191]

Are you normal? Honestly, no... but why is normal a virtue?

 

What I'm hearing is that your conflicted. You have sexual urges that lean toward aggressive, even violent, sex but care enough about your partners that you don't actually want to hurt them. I think, if you're going to have those feelings, that's a good combination to have them in. I suggest that you need to explore the BDSM community... the real BDSM community, not the pornographic one. I personally have found website Fetlife to be an excellent resource for meeting people in that community and learning more about the reality, rather than the fantasy, of rough sex.

 

As with swinging, but even more so, BDSM, relies on the dynamics of honest communication, real consent and trust between partners. It's a community where there is no contradiction between affectionately loving and caring for someone, and literally violently fucking that same person. I encourage you to look into it.

Edited May 15, 2021 by Lionheart72

[SlimNswingin 0]

Bdsm isn’t that like bondage and stuff like that? 

[Lionheart72 2,191]

9 hours ago, SlimNswingin said:

Bdsm isn’t that like bondage and stuff like that? 

 

That is part of it... literally. Bondage, Domination, Sadism, Masochism is what the acronym stands for... but it is no more or less accurate a description than saying "baseball, isn't that the one where they hit a ball with a stick"

 

In the broader context, BDSM is about consensual sexual relationships based on a perceived imbalance of power. One partner is plays the dominant role, the other partner plays the submission role. Precisely how that plays out can involve anything from physical restraint, verbal domination, spanking, flogging, etc. It is extremely important to note, however, that this power exchange relationship is both consensual and has clearly defined boundaries. You're probably familiar with the idea of the "safe word" ... a word or phrase that, when the submissive speaks it, all activity immediately ends, without question or hesitation. In fact, in reality, the submissive actually holds the majority of power in any given scenario because they can always say stop. It's almost "performance" ... in fact, in the language of the group, an encounter is a "scene" (like a scene from a play). It is also important to note that this is an absurdly high level view of a very complex and nuanced subculture of which I am not actually an active member. I just know a lot of people who are.

 

Again, I suggest you look into it further. It sounds like something that could, eventually, scratch this itch you have. I say eventually because it may take some time for you to understand it and to find a partner who you fit with...

[EastInWest 1,524]

I think the advice to look into BDSM and in particular the dom/sub community is good.

 

This is not uncommon, it's a widespread practice and depending on your age bracket, much of what you described isn't considered extreme. It's a matter of finding people who also know how to communicate and understand how to pursue it safely.

 

The other thing I would point out, from experience is that when a woman talking about this says "just try it", it's because she's embarrassed/ashamed that she likes it, too, and wants you to uinderstand her without her having to ask. If she's asking you to try and you trust yourself to control the situation and stop when it's time to stop, maybe try and solely introduce new ideas over time.

 

Again, being dominated is not an uncommon kink for women and might be more common than dominating is for men. I've given plenty of "throat pies", including to a married woman with two children who pushed the communion cart at her church. However, your doubts are totally understandable: as a society, we all lie about this. A lot.

[Anon321 524]

I should connect you with my GF as she would find most of that to be tame.  If she tells you to "just try it" then I would suggest just trying it but starting slow.  Hold her head and fuck her throat for a bit.  If she doesn't like it she'll tell you.  Call her a slut and a whore.  If she doesn't like it she'll tell you.  If she is telling to try it then just try it.  If it hurts or is uncomfortable she will tell you but you'll never know unless you try.  Just start slow and build up to it.

 

I don't really have any urges for rough sex like my GF does but that's ok because she has that fulfilled by other guys.  I kind of feel the same way as you in that I don't want to hurt or degrade my GF because I love her however if it's something that she enjoys you cannot think of it like that.  It took me some time to process that but I understand it much better now.

 

On 5/16/2021 at 8:31 AM, EastInWest said:

The other thing I would point out, from experience is that when a woman talking about this says "just try it", it's because she's embarrassed/ashamed that she likes it, too, and wants you to uinderstand her without her having to ask. If she's asking you to try and you trust yourself to control the situation and stop when it's time to stop, maybe try and solely introduce new ideas over time.

This is very true.  My GF loves rough sex and degradation but always prefers that the guy just knows or brings it up himself.  I don't know why she is more upfront about it but it's just how she is.