NYT Opinion Piece - Bisexuals Coming Out

[Fitlakecouple 451]

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/06/17/opinion/bisexuals-coming-out-anna-paquin.html?action=click&module=Opinion&pgtype=Homepage

 

[adamgunn 1,460]

Can't read it without a subscription. Want to post a PDF or summarize?

[lcmim 1,081]

It is a plea for bisexuals to come out. It theorizes that the main issue is lack of visibility, in that there are far more bi people than is recognized because they see no other bi folk in numbers so they remain closeted.

[PeterJ 940]

I read this Guest Essay, as The Times now calls them, earlier today snd found it quite interesting. I’m a subscriber but last time I checked you could register and read several articles per week. (That may have changed.) The moderators here quite correctly don’t permit the posting of copyrighted material, but I’m sure the brief passage below, which is critical to the thrust of the essay, falls under the fair usage exemption to the law:

 

"…according to Gallup, the majority of adults in the L.G.B.T.Q. community identify as bisexual, at 54.6 percent." 

 

I never would have guessed the percentage was nearly that high. Which leads to the writer’s point, that if they are to be accepted in both the LGBTQ and wider communities bisexuals need to be better about coming out than they have been. 

[NerdsAreFun 226]

Follow Zachary Zane on twitter, he's a hoot.

 

Wife and I are out bisexuals.  But it was relatively hidden until Bostock vs Clayton County.  Since then you'll find us at Pride, at LGBT bars for burlesque/comedy/etc, and joined the LGBT org at work.

 

In a swinging context I will say we've never encountered a straight woman.  And not one man has turned down the offer for a dual blowjob...

[Seanandem 48]

We have long suspected this.  My wife and I are of the opinion that there are no 100% straight or gay people.  We believe everyone is on a spectrum of sexuality.   I'm not sure why everyone feels the need to label.  Who cares.  Life is too short!  Play with whomever turns you on and dont care what the world thinks!

[Numex 2,409]

1 hour ago, Seanandem said:

My wife and I are of the opinion that there are no 100% straight or gay people.

I would have said that I was 100% straight, but once we started swinging some of the wives, mine included, wanted us guys to engage in some gay activities.  On several occasions I and two of the other guys did.  Never thought in 1,000 years...  In retrospect, it was pleasurable, interesting, but not something that I would seek out, I just enjoy women too damn much.  Funny how I prefer the exact same acts (getting oral, putting my dick up a butt) so much more with a woman when it's the exact same thing. 

1 hour ago, Seanandem said:

I'm not sure why everyone feels the need to label.  Who cares.  Life is too short!

Same for the cuckold/hotwife/stag-vixen thing.  

[couplers 4,614]

Even in retrospect, I don't think my Lesbian desires were repressed, they just weren't discovered.  What opened me up to having sex with women was having a man, my husband, involved and the jealousy that it created in me.  Once I was comfortable with and my husband started playing with other women I had the desire to watch, which most were ok with; then participate, which some accepted; then interacting directly with her, which a few eagerly did.  The single act that made me go all the way was my desire to lick hubby's semen out of her pussy.  It was reclaiming of him in a way and satisfy to me that I could make her orgasm as he did.  The two women that became part of our poly family have strong Lesbian sides, something that I don't believe is a coincidence.

[AndrewandAnn 360]

On 7/29/2021 at 5:11 PM, Seanandem said:

 My wife and I are of the opinion that there are no 100% straight or gay people.  We believe everyone is on a spectrum of sexuality.   I'm not sure why everyone feels the need to label.  Who cares.  Life is too short!  Play with whomever turns you on and dont care what the world thinks!

I am going to have to respectfully disagree with you on this, Seanandem. And this has nothing to do with having any ax to grind with bi-sexuals, homosexuals, or any other sexual grouping of human beings. And we definitely agree with the last part of your post: Adults are free to pursue their happiness and sexual gratification however, and with whomever, they please (so long as they are other consenting adults, of course.) 

 

However, on the subject of bi-sexuality, it appears you are practicing what is known as confirmation bias and ignoring the mountains of empirical and anecdotal evidence that points in the other direction. Objectively and impartially viewing the world around us would indicate the overwhelming majority of people are heterosexual only. That's neither "good" nor "bad". It's just the way the world presents itself.

 

Yes, it is possible that billions of heterosexuals around the globe, from all different cultures, are secretly harboring bi-sexual tendencies. But, that seems rather improbable. It is far more probable they are simply heterosexual.

 

 

 

 

[NerdsAreFun 226]

On 8/3/2021 at 1:00 PM, AndrewandAnn said:

I am going to have to respectfully disagree with you on this, Seanandem. And this has nothing to do with having any ax to grind with bi-sexuals, homosexuals, or any other sexual grouping of human beings. And we definitely agree with the last part of your post: Adults are free to pursue their happiness and sexual gratification however, and with whomever, they please (so long as they are other consenting adults, of course.) 

 

However, on the subject of bi-sexuality, it appears you are practicing what is known as confirmation bias and ignoring the mountains of empirical and anecdotal evidence that points in the other direction. Objectively and impartially viewing the world around us would indicate the overwhelming majority of people are heterosexual only. That's neither "good" nor "bad". It's just the way the world presents itself.

 

Yes, it is possible that billions of heterosexuals around the globe, from all different cultures, are secretly harboring bi-sexual tendencies. But, that seems rather improbable. It is far more probable they are simply heterosexual.

 

 

 

 

You're also engaging in some confirmation bias though as you are looking at the end result of cultural conditioning that shoves any same sex attraction in a closet.

 

Where it gets interesting is when you bypass that conditioning and test for subconscious signals of arousal when exposing people to porn in various combinations.  Where studies have shown self described monosexuals on both sides of the scale do respond to both sexes.  Downright stereotypical for same sex friends to do some exploring while growing up only to later focus exclusively on the more socially acceptable heterosexual relationships.

[NWAtlSwing 522]

Bis struggle to be accepted in both straight and gay worlds. It sucks

[realcplub2 513]

On 7/29/2021 at 5:11 PM, Seanandem said:

 My wife and I are of the opinion that there are no 100% straight or gay people.  

Oh yes there are.. and some masquerade as bi..

 

 we met a guy for a MFM years ago, and he got hard sucking Mr Real, but lost it when Mrs went down on him, and other than a casual playing of the nipples, hands never went south never touched her pussy, but went back after Mr's Cock 

[herpob 563]

On 7/29/2021 at 6:29 PM, Numex said:

I would have said that I was 100% straight, but once we started swinging some of the wives, mine included, wanted us guys to engage in some gay activities.  On several occasions I and two of the other guys did.  Never thought in 1,000 years...  In retrospect, it was pleasurable, interesting, but not something that I would seek out, I just enjoy women too damn much.  Funny how I prefer the exact same acts (getting oral, putting my dick up a butt) so much more with a woman when it's the exact same thing. 

That was 100% my husband. Then over time, I was able to get my husband to join me in some situational positions and sex where one thing led to another. Me and the other wives wanted our husbands to help us out with oral, eventually go at it more alone orally, and anal down the road. My husband never sought it out either for quite a while and then something clicked in him, now he wants to do oral on guys and anal from them at every party. Everything is bareback so our parties have to be only with those we dearly trust. He has really gotten into the while cum thing, which I do love, but we have had to dial it back. He was getting overboard with it. He still enjoys me A LOT having more sex with me at the parties than even the guys. He doesn't do as much with the other wives now unless I ask, but will do pretty much anything with us or or let us do it to him. 

 

As far as what we are, who we are, coming out, etc., except for our groups of friends who are of like mind and body we do not share any of this. I would never be sitting in my dentist's chair and say, "I'm bi, or I f men and women, no more than I'd say, I Iike men to f each other. I also would never shout to my ob-gyn in mid exam, "Hey down there, I like sex with couples btw I can be bi when needed."  It's no one's business what I do, except those close enough to enjoy it with me - like all of you!    Why on earth would I shout it out in public? It gets shouted out enough when we are all having sex. 

[Aphroditee 323]

I think it is difficult to come out as bisexual.  There is the idea that bisexuals are just confused, and until you figure out which team you play for neither team wants to play with you.  I can't tell you how many lesbians have refused to date me because I identified as Bi.  And I have lost more than one boyfriend when I tried to explain that I like woman the same way they like woman.  Especially when they realized it would not be a life of Never ending threesums, because I like my sexual activities to be one on one.  So I fuck guys and I fuck women, and I rarely do it together.  I'm not saying I wouldn't fulfill a fantasy cause I absolutely have, but it is not my preference so I do not seek it out.  I think everyone thinks you have to have a preference, and one day you'll leave them in the dust when you realize this is just a "phaze".  But it is not a fad, it is me and has been me forever.  

[couplers 4,614]

On 3/7/2022 at 11:37 AM, Aphroditee said:

I can't tell you how many lesbians have refused to date me because I identified as Bi.  And I have lost more than one boyfriend when I tried to explain that I like woman the same way they like woman.  Especially when they realized it would not be a life of Never ending threesums, because I like my sexual activities to be one on one.  So I fuck guys and I fuck women, and I rarely do it together.

There has to be men and women out there who would love you as you are.  I would think most guys would be fine with a wife who has women lovers without having threesomes if that's how they are told it would be.  And other bi women that want to occasionally satisfy their Lesbian side.

 

I think our situation works because the three of us women in our poly family are all bi.

[PeterJ 940]

On 3/8/2022 at 7:20 AM, njbm said:

I also like the “spit roast.”  Man (or woman) is f’ing woman from behind while the woman is going down on a man (or a woman).

 

Early in a our career, an attractive blond woman in scattered lingerie was bouncing up and down on me. I leaned up for a better view.  Blond, boobs, dangling bra and a woman getting spit roasted behind her. I came immediately. 

Yeah, njbm, I’m not surprised to learn that sight put you over the top — right then! 😉😂😊

[cplnluv1 871]

I never identified as bisexual even when I had my first encounter with a girlfriend. I didn’t have a romantic attraction to her, I don’t think I even had a sexual attraction to her. My sexual voyage started with a male friend who was interested in a threesome. My memory probably has changed as I have told this story so many times to women who are exploring their sexuality. My first bisexual experience was just three nude friends in bed, a little high, having fun. Yeah lucky guy. 
The couples we meet that are looking to explore are mostly those that have watched movies or TV shows that depict women having sex. It’s curiosity not romantic attraction, it’s sexual exploration. Female bisexuality has been, or dual female sex has been romanticized in media. I say don’t let your actions label you or stigmatize you. I believe mainstream media has made bi female sex more socially acceptable. I’m not sure of male bisexuality and why men search out other men but I’m sure much of it is similar to women’s thinking. We don’t search out men looking to have sex with other men and it hasn’t presented itself with the couples we met. 
I support the LGBTQ community even if I don’t consider myself part of it. If I were surveyed I would have to think how I would respond if asked my sexuality. In the true sense of the question I should answer Bisexual to be fair to the survey. I’m not ashamed of who I am, I am not romantically attracted to other women. We all know sex and romance can be mutually exclusive, swinging is sex, not romance.