Poll: Are you willing to go Bareback?

[Greg & Sheryl 368]

BiloxiCouple said:

But the contract is only as good as the paper it is written on and some people will do what they want anyway. Then is it enforceable in a court of law? Only a judge can decide if it is legally binding. Your attorney's know that.

Writing up a contract is an interesting approach to bareback swinging. We do know a polyamourous lady in Denver who also happens to be a lawyer, so we'll have to ask her for some feedback on the issue of non-monogamy contracts. Perhaps this deserves its own thread?

 

herpob said:

Well have you ever heard of a Complaint and Consent Judgment? Very binding!

We don't know how a complaint and consent judgment differs, but a consent judgement is used to settle a case that is already in litigation. This is just our layperson's opinion, but we figure that if the contract is broken, a lawsuit for breech of contract would have to be filed, and then the court would have to decide if the contract is binding and was indeed breached. It might be fun to speculate what kind of damages might be awarded!

[herpob 563]

Great discussion BTW - thx everyone for the input.

 

Sorry it has sort of gotten away from the original post though...

 

BiloxiCouple said:

I actually didn't realize this was something that you were actually doing. Sorry for any misunderstanding.

 

I can understand writing up a contract so everyone in the group knows the rules. Which is a very good thing. Ya'll did the right thing by going this route. It gives the group a positive sense of security.

 

But the contract is only as good as the paper it is written on and some people will do what they want anyway. Then is it enforceable in a court of law? Only a judge can decide if it is legally binding. Your attorney's know that.

 

You are 100% correct it is only as good as what is proven in court and I pray we never have to go there. I understand it has to be upheld in court for precedence to be established. I am not sure anything like it ever has - who knows??? Maybe our paralegal here - rpu3 - does??? Would be interesting to find out.

 

 

rpu3 said:

Overkill? If it ends up in a courtroom, I say yes. I hope the threat of dragging people's sex lives into a public forum is worth everyone feeling safe.

 

But, as always, whatever works for you.

 

Now you are getting it. But what everyone is still missing - it is not a contract to bind people in a group sexually, it is to try to hold everyone accountable as much as possible for their actions.

 

The agreement holds everyone accountable if they bring a disease into the group, as wives, the other ladies, especially love this. Sorry for the stereotype but husbands overall tend to be more wayward than wives and the agreement has made us ladies feel more comfortable with the other men in the group. As I mentioned when beginning the group it was not as clear how we all felt about each individual – trust is earned and it takes time and you have to have some history with them.

 

If anyone in the group goes outside the group that is their choice but to not notify the rest of us of the potential risk they put us at is inexcusable. If they were to infect us there are repercussions such as medical and financial restitution, etc. Who knows if a judge would allow it, but I find it hard to believe that if someone under a contract who breaches said contract knowingly and causes harm to another part of the contract, particularly physical harm, could not get the pants sued of off of them. Come on, a person wins millions for coffee being spilled on them and not this?

[herpob 563]

Greg & Sheryl said:

Writing up a contract is an interesting approach to bareback swinging. We do know a polyamourous lady in Denver who also happens to be a lawyer, so we'll have to ask her for some feedback on the issue of non-monogamy contracts. Perhaps this deserves its own thread?We don't know how a complaint and consent judgment differs, but a consent judgement is used to settle a case that is already in litigation. This is just our layperson's opinion, but we figure that if the contract is broken, a lawsuit for breech of contract would have to be filed, and then the court would have to decide if the contract is binding and was indeed breached. It might be fun to speculate what kind of damages might be awarded!

 

I agree this subject had taken on a life of its own. It would be great to keep it going and find out more. I barely understand legalities but common sense to me says that yes the breach and the premeditated potential harm to others should warrant a sizable damage award – at least enough to cover one’s medical treatments to deal with whatever bug was passed on.

[spamcatcher 36]

We prefer bareback. We like the feeling of real skin in our mouths and against our genitals. What's the tactile difference between a dick in a rubber and a realistic dildo?

[n2ez 18]

Very interesting poll but I don't know if it's just me or what, but I have found near all the long time 30+ year cpls I have been with always want to go bare back? my thinking had always been to be with them for a while first, but find it is the norm with them, I mean they don't even bring the subject up in most cases, some are right up front and tell you we do not like them! is it because I am a married swingoing solo that make them more comfortable or??

[cocpl2007 170]

Just an interesting scientific study on condoms:

 

Condom 'turn offs' among adults: an exploratory st...[int J STD AIDS. 2008] - PubMed Result

 

Crosby R, Milhausen R, Yarber WL, Sanders SA, Graham CA.

 

College of Public Health, University of Kentucky, 121 Washington Avenue, Lexington, KY, USA. crosby@uky.edu

 

An exploratory study compared the prevalence of multiple types of condom-associated 'turn offs' in men and women. Nearly 2000 people completed a web-based questionnaire. Data were analysed from 464 men and women who reported that condoms had turned them off the last time they were used. Gender differences were not observed for the majority (9) of 15 turn offs. The most common turn offs related to loss of pleasure. For example, more than three-quarters of the men and nearly 40% of the women reported decreased sexual sensation (P = 0.0001). Putting on condoms was reported by 43.2% of the men versus 30.2% of the women (P = 0.02). Smell was a relatively frequent turn off, with about one-third indicating this issue and no significant gender difference (P = 0.32). Turn offs pertaining to arousal and orgasm were also common. Findings suggest that numerous physical and psychological condom turn offs may be experienced by men and women while using male condoms. Although some turn offs differed as a function of gender, there was remarkable similarity between men and women.

[Greg & Sheryl 368]

cocpl2007 said:

Just an interesting scientific study on condoms:

 

Condom 'turn offs' among adults: an exploratory st...[int J STD AIDS. 2008] - PubMed Result

This pretty much supports our long-time suspicion that the ladies hate condoms just as much as the guys do.

[Guest Aching]

Of course we are. We wouldn't do it any other way!

 

But not with just anybody, and not on a first date. We expect to get to know and trust the people we would consider having sex with. We both need to like both of them, and have something in common. We also need to discuss at some point their sexual history. Because we are "virgins" we do have a concern, but after much reading, we think the "responsible" people in the lifestyle are generally more discreet and generally more careful, and there is no reason to think that we will contract any disease. But we need to reach that understanding.

 

Once we have, then it's "go for it all"....complete, unencumbered, natural sex. We don't think anything could be better than that.

 

We also understand that some people require condoms, and that is perfectly OK. We will just stop there, and say we aren't interested. Just us.

[Guest WisOpenCouple]

My wife had a LTR boyfriend for awhile and they got comfortable enough to go without which I was fine with as long as they were paying attention to her cycles closely enough. Maybe it was luck but other then being late a few times, the only 2 kids we have are mine.

[twoready4fun 15]

My wife had a LTR boyfriend for awhile and they got comfortable enough to go without which I was fine with as long as they were paying attention to her cycles closely enough. Maybe it was luck but other then being late a few times, the only 2 kids we have are mine.

 

Same here. There have been a few close calls when she was late. But that was likely caused by stress or just general fluctuations in the cycle.

[NealnAnji 30]

Greg & Sheryl said:

This particular thread Bareback Swingers made us curious about how common bareback sex is among those of us on the Board. The following is a poll we saw on a Yahoo! group earlier this year. We are looking forward to reading your feedback.

 

We voted "we never go bareback". However, there are exceptions to the rule. We will play and have intercourse with male/female of another couple when we know the couple extremely well and are sure that there is no risk of STD. Actually, intercourse without a condom is the most pleasurable experience since there is nothing between the man's penis and the female vagina to hinder the real experience, of full sensation and sexual satisfaction.

 

We believe that bareback intercourse is the best under certain circumstances.

[NHswingSet 38]

I will not bareback unless as a couple we have been with said party for a while and there is proof of a clean STD test. Safety first!

[occ 148]

We go bareback with anyone we feel comfortable with. Usually not the first time, but after a few times. I love the feel of skin on skin. Mr occ love the feeling of sloppy seconds. It is just so much more intimate skin to skin. We haven't had any unpleasant issues yet with stds. And don't expect to. But it is always a risk. I agree with some of the other posters, no one seems to have any problems giving head, men to women or women to men. I think there is a lot of opportunity for stds through oral. So we just try to be aware and go still have fun.

[Wereserious4fun 36]

We always go bareback. Seeing the mrs with cum dripping out if her is a huge turn on.

[prairieshadows 95]

We go bareback with anyone we feel comfortable with...as long as they are comfortable with it as well. We prefer not to use condoms personally, but we will if requested to.

[sparkstar 128]

We go bareback with anyone we are attracted to if they have a clean STD certificate no older than 2-4 weeks from getting tested. A proper one from an official health clinic.

Hayley gets tested every 1-3 months usually. Gladly i don't have to, i hate having that smear thing poked in..

[JackNJoe 15]

We are in the very same position as you. Couldn't agree more. Hubby here will wear one if requested, but if the other male isn't V-safe. He must wrap it.

[cplnluv1 872]

We have only met 2 couples. The first were younger than us and we did use condoms but not for oral. My husband never use condoms so it was different for us. We are both fixed and we both feel the best sex is uncovered. The second couple we met we ended up not using anything. He was nice enough to ask if he needed to pull out. I don't remember what I said but my husband claims I told him to cum in me. What can I say it felt good...lol

[edtungsten5858 29]

We are both bareback only. We are both safe and try to pick our partners carefully. Amy has a cute story about the time she got together with a guy she just met as a business function at a restaurant. At lunchtime, they went out to his full sized van and started to make out. After they their crotches were uncovered, he struggled to put on a condom for over a minutes and Amy just let him suffer until she told him, "You don't need that thing." She said the look on his face was priceless and one she will never forget. He set the rubber aside and gave her a great pounding, an orgasm and a nice load of cum inside of her to savor for the rest of the day.

[confused12524 201]

I can say one thing for sure from experience. Everyone talks about condoms. People put it in their profile. People answer these questions as "condom only"

 

In reality, if my wife or I didn't grab one and put it on, or put it on them, 90% would have gone without one.

[dosdedos 15]

For us is a great deal to do it without condom but, of course, it has to be with a confidence couple. When he cums inside my wife I`m willing to fuck her to feel her cunt full of another man´s cum .

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

We have play both bareback and uncovered, and it definitely feels better to go uncovered! That said, we usually prefer to use condoms unless we feel comfortable that the couple is disease-free, and there's no chance of anybody getting pregnant (the Mrs. is fixed, but I'm shooting live ammo!). But also, in a swap situation, if anybody wants either guy to use a condom, we understand and are good with it.

 

We've had a couple of occasions where a couple has dropped us like a hot rock once they learned that we have played bare before. Even though we were happy to use condoms with them, they did not want to have anything to do with us. Not sure if they use condoms for oral and dental dams for kissing, but I'd wager not. Their approach seems to me to be somewhat illogical.

[Shore2Please 611]

Our first time was so unplanned that I never really thought about protection. Since our last one was born both of us were fixed. I had a tubal ligation my husband a vasectomy. This was totally for us. Swinging was never even a thought. We wouldn't have a reason to bring or have condoms with us. Our first time was with a couple we met on a cruise vacation. I know I told him I can't have more children. He never offered to put one on and I figured he was safe. I didn't worry and we did it.

[herpob 563]

I am up for no condom sex once I get to know a couple well. I loooveee cum so it is a no brainer. But for certain I must know them well. As for anal, I love anal too but no way jose, without condom. Makes for much better and quicker clean up, plus then you have the cum in the condom to do whatever you please... fill a hole or two, share with a friend, get a good ole cum massage... Again with the oral, loooove it, love sucking cock, love sharing cock and LOOOVEEE sharing cum. But need to trust the people well. All this crazy sex is risky enough...

[MrDiscover 802]

Wow, looking at all your posts from the last 30 minutes, you sure are feeling frisky, don't you?

[hotptamom 20]

New to lifestyle but I (Rita) prefer bareback. Some won't agree I hear ya.

[living_free 44]

Like bareback too....don't mind condoms but love to just be able to play and not worry about the thing breaking or having to pull it off for the cum shot....just rather be able to pull out or if she likes then cum in her.

[N&G 207]

We've been barebackers since we entered the lifestyle around 14 years ago. At that time nobody that we met used them but times have changed. As age creeps up on me condoms no longer work so we look only for people that don't require them.

[kevinandmary 18]

We have been swinging three months and mary hates condoms. We were invited to join a group of 15 couples. One of the requirements is one week before a party we all meet at the doctor who is in the group and be tested.

[J&Wu 408]

It seems a contradiction for a guy to be eating pussy and them put a condom on for vaginal sex unless it is for contraception. He's already got a big dose of her fluids although it is true his saliva may be slightly safer than his cum.

[Fi86 78]

I'm happy going bareback with friends and people I'm familiar with. I'm not keen on bareback with complete strangers but I have done it.

[Sandra80 20]

ONLY with VERY carefully vetted men with whom we personally know, and have for quite some time.

[njbm 2,869]

Just to throw a wrench in the works. There is no male test for HPV. Most HPV infections are resolved without harm. However, on a depressing note, it is the primary cause of cervical cancer. Condoms reduce the risk of transmission, but they are only 50-65% effective. Some people have a ho-hum attitude towards HPV, as most infections are detectable and treatable at annual ob/gyn exams. But Swingers should know the facts about it. If you are under 26, there is a vaccine to prevent HPV.

[ErikaAndPeter 104]

Although I enjoy the emotional intimacy of bareback and semen inside me, I limit bareback to close friends because of the concerns over infections that many others have noted. Even so, my last Pap smear did suggest that I might have been exposed to HPV.

[njbm 2,869]

National Cervical Cancer Coalition. This site has an ask the experts section on HPV. It is a worthwhile read for Swingers. Don’t bury your head in the sand and say it won’t happen to me because I use condoms. They are not highly effective against HPV or HSV. Sorry to put the foreign object in the punch bowl, but this information is important and misunderstood among Swingers.

[Guest]

We started out with an always condoms rule. But, first time out, the guy goes down on me, gets me off and all I’m thinking (and saying) is fuck me, fuck me, and he did. Then, same with the 2nd time, and the 4th and so on.

[wildones8474 21]

Definitely... But only with close swing swap couples.

[padoc 1,703]

We have been swinging for 15 years and have found that nearly all the rules we first had have disappeared including the MUST wear condom rule. We do insist upon condoms on the few occasions a year when we go to a club where, in the heat of the moment, in a group, selectivity may be impacted. At clubs, we always use condoms and will walk away if a guy even tried to slip it in bareback. That has led to a few tense moments.

 

With good friends or at parties where we know and trust the host, we go bareback. Mrs Doc loves the different feel of each uncovered cock as it enters her. As for cumming, she absolutely knows when an uncovered dick cums in her and it often sets off another orgasm for her. I much prefer the feeling of thrusting deeply into my partner as I cum inside her. Its way more stimulating, intimate and satisfying than cumming in a latex tube.

[njbm 2,869]

We’ve heard too many HSV and HPV stories among swinger friends. Sorry, there’s no free lunch. P.S.: condoms are only about 60-75% effective against HPV and HSV. We are tiptoeing around the land mines.

[njbm 2,869]

I think I raised my condom effectiveness percentage from an earlier post. Just an estimate. Read the NCCC site I posted above for scientific responses. Sorry to be the poop in the punch bowl.

[Eddiem 139]

Greg & Sheryl said:

This particular thread Bareback Swingers made us curious about how common bareback sex is among those of us on the Board. The following is a poll we saw on a Yahoo! group earlier this year. We are looking forward to reading your feedback.

 

Well... we do when we hook up with our mutual friend whom we have known for years. We have been together only a few times but each has been bareback. He wanted to unload his cum on her chest but my SO wanted it in her. In fact after that he made her clean him up. For strangers... not sure as there is a risk or two. Really depends. I found out too that our mutual friend actually has struggled having children so for him this was a release and the thought he could create a child.

[Numex 2,412]

"Are you willing to go Bareback?"

My wife and I are part of a closed group, all of whom only go bareback.

[hotwife70 593]

My wife would definitely prefers bareback and creampie since she admitted she feel more skin contacted for bareback & she enjoys most when receiving cum inside but of cause under the must condition is have to be clean of diseases.  

[herpob 563]

Totally bareback, we adore cum. We trust the group we are with and always hope no one does something stupid to ruin the group. We have all the cock, ass, pussy, cum, fingers, mouths, etc we could ever need and so far so good for many years. It's when we open up to new couples that is always a bit challenging but once we get to know them well and slowly let them insert themselves everyone loosens up. We have 3 newer couples and they have all made it past that stage. Everyone is free and open in what they like to do and are willing to offer. It always takes a while but now even they are all bareback sexers. We all are extremely careful and safe with regards to all the anal sex we have and take lots of showers, which is fun in in itself. We have oh so many showers scenes - lol. Bareback in the shower rocks because of all the easy access and cleaning. It's fun to help others clean as well while getting taken bareback and cum filled, I love oral after loads of cum filled pussies and pussy coated cocks. We are redesigning a wall in our largest shower room to have lower bend over walls so more people can bend over and get taken from behind, cum filled, played with, more cum filled, cleaned up for even more. We are also trying to design better hand holds for safer stand up sex in the showers. We can comfortably fit 8 people at a time in our largest so its a great deal of fun for group sex with lots of cum. The only challenge is trying not to loose the cum - lol. Even with the water off or turned down while having sex that darn cum can run out fast sometimes.  We have two guys with very thick cum that sticks pretty well but the weight at times can make even it get wasted. Nothing worse than wasted cum in my opinion! Darn gravity. :0