Have you ever contracted an STD from a swing partner?

[Alura 2,774]

There have been a lot of threads about STDs lately so I think there is a need for a more basic poll. Have you ever caught a STD from someone in the lifestyle?

[Spoomonkey 421]

Interesting

 

It would seem that the rubber-free are the silent majority... Those who use condoms (and I am one of those guys) seem to make the most noise...

 

Spoomonkey

[lovers 25]

One option that we didn't see listed might be:

 

"Those who go either way and have/have not caught an STD."

 

A fair number of people may fall into that category.

[leftcoastcouple 32]

Thanks for asking the question, Alura. I tried to a month or two ago in the midst of another thread and was told by another member that, to paraphrase, if my wife and I were that paranoid, we ought to consider giving up the idea of swinging.

 

We thought we were just being realistic. And if your poll's results continue in the direction they're headed, we will relax a great deal, believe me.

 

We've been offline the better part of two months and find the many new members and trains of thoughts intriguing. Always something new--and interesting--going on around here...

[Corwyn13 16]

Interesting and disturbing poll! I noticed that the thread on squirters pro and con started exactly (just about) the same time this thread did. That one has had over 4000 views and several 100 responses. This one less than 10 responses and less than 30 votes. Now I KNOW that this isn't as interesting of a topic but it should be at least of cursory interest.

 

According to the CDC over a million new cases of herpes are reported each year. And according to some estimated this only represents 10-20% of the actual cases because most people suffer such mild symptoms that they do not recognize them while others are asymptomatic carriers.

 

Some studies indicated that as many as 80% of the general population carries the herpes 1 or 2 virus. And this is just ONE STD!

 

Yet miraculously here on this board, in a population that is statistically more sexual, has/had more partners than average, not a SINGLE person, who plays unprotected has contracted an STD?

 

As a newbie looking to get into this lifestyle, this should be a concern and it also should raise a HUGE red flag!

 

What's the old saying - there are statistics, there are damned statistics, and there is the truth. Well the odds are, it isn't the numbers that are lying!

[Miss_Piggy 98]

I also find it disturbing that there is no one admitting to ever having gotten an STD!

 

Does this mean that the people who have gotten an STD are simply refusing the vote?

 

Or, does it mean that swingers just don't generally get STDs?

 

Or, maybe swingers don't realize they have STDs (-perhaps there is an overabundant feeling of invincibility? - really I'm just speculating).

 

Ditto to Corwyn. I'm a little disturbed.

[Alura 2,774]

I have no idea why the figures are coming out this way. It was specified that the STD had to have been aquired in the lifestyle and perhaps that accounts for some of these lop-sided results.

 

It may well be that married couples are the most STD free people in the population. Well, I heard a couple of years ago that lesbians are the least affected by AIDS, but that group probably has almost no contact with gay men who, along with intervenous drug users, are the most infected group. It would seem that couples who practice intermarital sex would have very little contact with gay men. I also doubt that there is a very large percentage of intervenous drug users among married couples, but Hell, I don't know that.

 

In theory, if there were a thousand couples who were free of STDs and who played only with those within the group, no one would get STDs. Of course, you can't count on people staying within the group.

 

Let's try to keep this poll from getting buried. For now, at least, the sample is far too small to be meaningful.

 

Mr. Alura

[VegasLee 1,486]

Someone above stated 80% but the information here seems to show closer to 20% to 25%

 

We have to doctors that are in the lifestyle write articles for our sites and they have stated studies have shown over the last 20 years that the rate of STD's in the lifestyle to be a very small percentage of what they are in the so called "normal" world.

 

I also read an article two weeks ago that showed that the rate of STD's in teenages that "where saving theirself for marriage" was just as high as it was in teenagers that admitted to having sex on a regular basis. (guess they where not saving their self to well)

 

From the CDC site dated March 2nd 2004

 

"Results of a nationally representative study show that genital herpes infection is common in the United States. Nationwide, at least 45 million people ages 12 and older, or one out of five adolescents and adults, have had genital HSV infection. Between the late 1970s and the early 1990s, the number of Americans with genital herpes infection increased 30 percent.

 

HSV-2 infection is more common in women (approximately one out of four women) than in men (almost one out of five). This may be due to male-to-female transmissions being more efficient than female-to-male transmission."

[good times 991]

I know that polls like these aren't very scientific but this poll seems to indicate what I have come to believe. That is that for your average people stds are rarer than we are led to believe. As I have indicated in other posts, I have spent a good bit of bandwidth studying the std problem and have come to the conclusion that the people that derive their income from researching, studying and making estimates of the scope of the std problem derive much benefit from the tactic of instilling fear in all of us by exagerating the problem. I'm 45 years old and have always been an outgoing and socially active person and have only met 2 people so far that have ever had an std. So it is no surprise to me that no one answering this pole has had an std.

[Mich149 16]

Originally posted by Spoomonkey

Interesting

 

It would seem that the rubber-free are the silent majority... Those who use condoms (and I am one of those guys) seem to make the most noise...

 

Spoomonkey

 

Mr. Spoo - if your condoms makes noise you should really get some lube

[Doug19482000 18]

I can't figure out how a lesbian could give another lesbian AIDS unless she had recently had sex with a male carrier. It is my understanding the virus is not present in saliva, tears, or female lubrication. I used this argument in the 80's when a group of religious zealots where preaching AIDS was God's punishment for homosexual activity.

[jsnps 45]

My husband's x-girlfriend called him after we had been dating for five months to inform him that she had genital warts. That is the only person I have ever known to have an STD.

 

Right after that call we both went to be tested and have been tested since then. Neither of us has come up positive for any STD. We have had on FMF experience and hubby used a condom with our lady friend.

 

I think many people have good points concerning the statistics. I think as a rule swingers / those in the lifestyle are generally more conscientious, careful, selective, etc. than others might be.

 

You would think though that as many people are on the board at least one or two people would have had an STD at some point. Perhaps we are all just really careful or perhaps those that do are just too shy, embarrassed or unwilling to reply in the affirmative...

[Alura 2,774]

We finally got a vote for having caught something, (it would be interesting to know which std...), using condoms.

 

Comparing this poll (320 views) with a very long thread (poll) "Cut or Uncut) reveals some probably meaningless but interesting figures:

 

Of those who viewed this poll (320), 40 have voted, or 12.5%.

 

12,253 have viewed "Cut or Uncut," with 202 votes or 1.65%.

 

I think the difference is that the same people viewed both polls over and over and "Cut or Uncut" has been here a lot longer.

 

In "Cut or Uncut" 265 Replies have resulted in 202 votes, or 76%.

 

Fifteen replies have yielded forty votes, or 266% in this poll.

 

Does anyone have any thoughts on why this is?

 

Mr. Alura

[Alura 2,774]

Originally posted by good times

I'm 45 years old and have always been an outgoing and socially active person and have only met 2 people so far that have ever had an std. So it is no surprise to me that no one answering this pole has had an std.

 

I'm wondering if perhaps the folks who hang out on this board, mostly stable married people who are very much in love with their spouses, just don't get exposed to STDs.

 

As we all know, cheating is severely frowned upon in the lifestyle, further limiting the opportunities couples have to catch an STD.

 

As Good Times points out, these results come from the people "anwering this poll." Maybe if we were polling the general population, and not restricting the question to "In the lifestyle" the results would be quite different.

 

Mr. Alura

[Miss_Piggy 98]

Is the suggestion then, that swingers have a lower instance of STDs altogether? I'm a assumption, just speculating.

[Alura 2,774]

I think we can only be sure of one thing, Miss Piggy, that this sample is much too small to be of significance. I'm mostly surprised that there are, for all practical purposes, equal numbers of protection and non-protection playmates voting. But it's also pretty surprising, to me, that there have only been two instances of STDs being exchanged within the sample. (I wonder which STDs they were???) Well, maybe not. That's about five percent, so far. Does anyone know the percentage among the general population?

 

If I had to make a guess at this point, I'd say that long-term married people, who make up the majority of swingers, have a lower incidence of STDs. That, of course, would not surprise me.

 

Hell, I don't know. Your guess is as good as mine...

 

Mr. Alura

[Miss_Piggy 98]

I love statistics

[lisabbiny 15]

I hope NEVER to get a std!!! I always practice safe sex...(at least with me heheheheh)

[RW1F 15]

We finally got a vote for having caught something, (it would be interesting to know which std...), using condoms.

 

Comparing this poll (320 views) with a very long thread (poll) "Cut or Uncut) reveals some probably meaningless but interesting figures:

 

Of those who viewed this poll (320), 40 have voted, or 12.5%.

 

12,253 have viewed "Cut or Uncut," with 202 votes or 1.65%.

 

I think the difference is that the same people viewed both polls over and over and "Cut or Uncut" has been here a lot longer.

 

In "Cut or Uncut" 265 Replies have resulted in 202 votes, or 76%.

 

Fifteen replies have yielded forty votes, or 266% in this poll.

 

Does anyone have any thoughts on why this is?

 

Mr. Alura

 

 

Whatchoo tawkin bout Willis??? I think I have a headache!!!!

 

I didn't vote cause I've never done the swinging part but in my early days I rarely wore a condom and fortunately never caught an STD

[nimbis43 15]

Back in the day I was a bit of a player. Not bragging just a fact. I probably had unprotected sex with over 100 different women from 1973 until I met my sweetie in 1988. I was very lucky and never caught anything worse than a cold. I have 2 younger brothers who were bigger sluts than me and they never caught anything either. I am very hetero (exit only, do not enter was my motto). I also did 4 1/2 years in the Coast Guard with deployments overseas as well as state-side, where I served as an independent duty Corpsman/Paramedic. I very rarely saw STDs except for guys who had unprotected sex with prostitutes. I also worked as a Paramedic after my military service for a very busy and large metropolitan Emergency Medical Service for over 12 years. Again, with the exception of gay men and IV drug users I rarely saw STDs on the job.

 

In my opinion the media has made a lot of noise to scare the general public based on a over cautious knee jerk reaction to the AIDS epidemic of the early and mid 1980s. In my medical career I very rarely encountered anyone other than IV drug users and homo/bi-sexual men with HIV/AIDS and most of those were very promiscuous and didn't use condoms. Even though we use condoms in our sexual encounters and probably always will, I wouldn't freak out if one came off or broke during sex. Well that’s my 2 cents.

[ratt127mpd 15]

So what is the expectation of the people with herpes or other STDs....do people ask before contact or is this thought that don't ask and it won't get you....and/or is herpes so common that it is not asked about?

[Botcpl 15]

Our big fear right now is Herpes. It seems condoms don't offer complete protection, because they don't cover everything. I think this is one of the "bridges" we are having a tough time to crossing, therefore, no vote from us. Before My Honey came along I was fairly active but never caught anything.

 

However, in the '70s I was on a road trip with my Uncle and my Brother. We stoppd at a raodside diner for a meal. They used the bathroom, I didn't. Two weeks later, they both had to see the doctor for crabs.

 

I also had a roommate who caught crabs, too; but that is too wierd of a story.

 

P

[DoubleL 15]

I know that polls like these aren't very scientific but this poll seems to indicate what I have come to believe. That is that for your average people stds are rarer than we are led to believe. As I have indicated in other posts, I have spent a good bit of bandwidth studying the std problem and have come to the conclusion that the people that derive their income from researching, studying and making estimates of the scope of the std problem derive much benefit from the tactic of instilling fear in all of us by exagerating the problem. I'm 45 years old and have always been an outgoing and socially active person and have only met 2 people so far that have ever had an std. So it is no surprise to me that no one answering this pole has had an std.

 

I think the issue is that MANY STDs can have NO symptoms AT ALL at ANY TIME. This includes herpes, genital warts, so on. Men can carry almost anything and not know it, and women are less likely to do this but also can. Also, lots of people think that if when they go to the doctor they ask for a full STD workup they get tested for everything that's out there--they do not. Many times you have to ask for the SPECIFIC tests you want done, and that involves peeing in a cup, having siginifcant amounts of blood drawn, and having a special liquid poured over your genitals to look for warts you may not see. And guess what? How many people who said "I don't have an STD" get cold sores? You can get a herpes virus a lot of different ways, but even if you got it in a non-sexual way it's still an STD and you can still pass it on from mouth to genitals or back again. A lot of people do carry STDs and don't realize it, they're just not a big deal enough to notice or have it be an issue. In other words, the poll should have read "contracted an STD that you know of".

[Sadie6969 15]

Interesting, I thought I had already replied to this poll.....but I guess not. Since the subject has come up again, I thought I would add my two cents.

 

Hubby & I went to our 1st house party. There was lots of wild and rough sex - without condoms. I wasn't worried since no one actually "did the deed" inside me. However 2 days later I had my first "recognizable" outbreak of genital herpes.

 

Now I say it like this because after having been diagnosed a week later, talking to my doctor and doing LOTS of research on the disease, I discovered that I had never been tested for HSV. And during my research I discovered that herpes can have the same symptoms as ingrown hairs, yeast and/or bladder infections, and jock itch (I'm sure there are more). HSV is often mis-diagnosed as such. Also, you can have the virus for years before having a "recognizable" outbreak.

 

I did the responsible thing and notified the hostess who in turn advised everyone to get tested. To date no one from the party has acknowledged having HSV. I had a blood test done a couple weeks after I was diagnosed and came out positive with the HSV-1 & HSV-2 anti-body. My husband was negative. So this has left my head spinning on where I could have contracted it.

 

Because of what happened to me and what I learned about HSV, I started the poll in may "Herpes Testing" to see if I was the only ignorant one. To date, 20 people have replied - 16 of which have never been tested. Well at least they know that, cuz I sure as hell didn't. No one but Julie actually replied to the post. So I'm glad to see the subject has been brought up again.

 

Oh - and one more thing. My sis-in-law did get herpes while having PROTECTED sex. (Although it was not in the lifestyle, just an FYI on the same subject)

[rduelist 15]

I didn't reply because I don't fit into the category of getting an STD while in the lifestyle. I have never been told by a doctor that I have herpes (except for one who simply agreed with me that because my wife has been tested positive it is almost certain that I do). I have no symptoms, my wife rarely has symptoms and when she does she take medication and they go away. From what I have read, few people have been tested. The test is expensive and not necessarily completely accurate unless you are having active symptoms. It seems to be an almost certain conclusion that a huge number of people who claim to be disease free are simply hiding their heads in the sand. Anyone who thinks that there is a lower incidence of herpes in this community is engaging in wishful thinking at best.

 

We are very honest about our condition, but I expect that others are not. In all liklihood you are just as likely to be exposed in the lifestyle as in the general population.

 

With that said, this is a disease that has been deamonized to an incredible extent. As I mentioned, we rarely have outbreaks, and even when she has one, it is mild and goes away quickly with medication. The worst symptom of the disease is the stigma attached to it. Not that I would wish a disease on anyone, but for one with so little impact it causes huge fear.

 

My message I guess it: be honest, if you know you have it, admit it. Also, be honest with yourself, your odds of being exposed are about 1 in 5, and if you have had more than 5 different partners, you have probably been exposed.

[littlebit54 16]

Now that's me too, didn't respond to the poll. Thank you for your post rduelist. I was diagnosed in 1987 with genital herpes; and you are so right about the stigma attached to it, being the worst symptom.

 

After i was diagnosed; and mcuh later got a computer, i went online to find out as much about it as i could (know your enemy). I was amazed at the number of people responding to the (supposedly honest and quite anonymous ) poll that had never even had sex; and yet had an STD! Even a nun had it. Now if you can't trust what a nun says, who can you believe? Now i'm not foolish; and i know that not all nuns are virgins, but she said she was.

 

Also, you're right about something else. I'm an older person; and haven't been with hundreds of partners so you can't judge this book by it's cover.

 

My S/O of almost twenty years has never ever even had that first outbreak, and neither have any of the others ever told me (before i knew, but actually probably had it) that they got it from me, either. I really believe that i had it as a youngster; and at the time...(50s) they didn't know of it's exsistance or never gave it a thought that someone (a very young virgin) could have contacted an STD!!!

 

That's one of the reasons that i haven't even had that first experience in the lifestyle and may never do so. I find that no matter how honest you might be with a prospective partner (some) they prefer not to take the chance.

 

Well, let me say this. There are far worse diseases than herpes. Like HPV! You can actually get cervical cancers from those nasty little warts. I have read it in various places that people that have herpes and there are so many strains (6 at least) are far less prone to cancers...go figure.

 

BTW, i also have MS, which has also been linked to one of the herpes strains. It is a mild case and since i was diagnosed in 1995, i haven't (knock on wood) had anymore symptoms. That's one of the reasons i got interested in West Wing...lol

 

Also, with genital herpes (or at least i have found) and MS too, stress is a big factor linked to occurances of symptoms or lack thereof. So, just knowing how someone will likely react when i tell them, could set me off with the less than comfortable and expensive to medicate--symptoms...

 

It feels so good to get this off my chest. Thank you again for your honesty which opened the door to mine!!

 

littlebit54

[DBL D 120]

As some of you know: I HATE condoms, but we are using them while we play with others for now...I think 1 couple is thinking of saying we won't have to use them soon.

 

The pole suggests that swingers are pretty clean folks. I personally have yet to understand how I can do oral with a gal and I then have to use a condom.

 

Is it usually a pregnancy issue more than STD's? I've been clipped so that shouldn't be an issue anymore. facelick

 

Male D

[rduelist 15]

littlebit, if you are interested in the lifestyle the HSV is not an absolute killer. At the very least there are others who are affected, and they are also interested. We met with a very nice couple last weekend and had an awesome time. We have also met with others who were not infected. As several people have noted, you are probably as safe or safer with someone who has it and is up front than you are just taking your chances.

 

We are simply always honest, and don't necessarily expect others to be . Thats just how the world works, probably the biggest problem is those who have it and just don't know it.

[littlebit54 16]

We are simply always honest, and don't necessarily expect others to be . That's just how the world works, probably the biggest problem is those who have it and just don't know it.

 

Yes, you are so right about honesty and the fact that the biggest problem is those who have it and just don't know or that have something else and don't realize it either.

 

What really bugs me is that I have no idea when or how I got it. That's what makes me think I was born with it; or the chickenpox vaccine I got, as a child, did a number on me. It really doesn't bother me often enough to really complain. It's just that some people have no idea; or refuse to believe that having a cold sore during cunnilingus can also infect a woman or a man during fellatio. That is why I studied up on it.

 

It's strange but I have never (knock on wood) had a cold sore. Go figure!

 

So, this couple you were with this past weekend were also infected? That is the ideal situation to be in, imho. However, even if I was with someone that knew they had it, too, I would still rather use protection. That's just the way I am anyway. Better to not stack the deck against myself...huh?

 

That is why I posted that thread on female condoms. I am going to have to get some and see what they are like. That way, during intercourse (at least) I would know I was protected against whatever else is out there. The oral is not a problem for me under any circumstances. Like you said, there's not as much chance of contacting most STDs that way, anyway! Besides, I do like to give a good bj and no matter what Sue says, it's not the same with a condom...lol

[sweetmelissa 15]

Just FYI, you definitely CAN get herpes from oral sex. This happened to a friend whose boyfriend had a cold sore. She was completely baffled as to how she got it until the GYN told her you can get it orally. It is not quite as serious as the other type, but still incurable and a real nuisance.

[billandshan 15]

This is our 2 cents.

 

Many on the SLS website (and other sites) have Herpes. We know because they have contacted us but made no mention of the STD in their profile. By a few of these people, we have been told that they rarely tell anyone, but rely on condoms to protect the other person(s).

 

To show you how common Herpes is, the two drugs commonly used to treat herpes are constantly in the top 200 drugs by Number of US Prescriptions Dispensed. Combined, they are in the top 100. Seem like a low number? It beats Aspirin, Naproxen and comes in just under Codeine. Sales in 2004 are expected to increase 50% because of recent TV advertising and the anonymity of Internet Sales. Valtrex alone was in the top 100 in 2003. Valtrex is used primarily to treat HSV-2 (genital), although it can be used to treat HSV-1 (oral). Think about that when you go bareback.

 

1) Herpes can be carried by a host with no symptoms.

2) Symptoms DO NOT have to be present for HSV to spread (asymptomatic shedding).

 

On a lighter note, I (meaning me individually) would rather have an outbreak of Herpes than the common cold. A cold hangs around for a week and makes my life miserable; I can kick an outbreak in two days. As I said, that's me. Others have more severe outbreaks. Also, I'd much rather have Herpes than HPV or HIV. HIV can kill you and HPV can cause cervical cancer (ask my sister in-law). So even though WE have HSV-2, we are still VERY picky about whom we are with and always use condoms. A little discomfort 1-2 times a year is easier to handle than losing one's reproductive capabilities, or worse, your life. Those that claim D&D Free are MORE of a threat to us than those that admit to an STD. People lie about NOT having an STD, but I know of no one that would lie and say they HAD and STD. Those that have one STD are FAR more likely to have been tested for other STDs as well. Doctors don't normally test for Herpes unless specifically REQUESTED.

 

What is my point? Use condoms, don't let your guard down and don't trust what others say 100%. They may not know what they are carrying. This is not meant to scare you, only to open your eyes. We were shocked to have people contact us for a meeting who were seeking D&D Free couples. We are honest in our profile and seek the same from others. I am not ashamed of having HSV-2. No more than I would be of having a cold. My wife got HSV-2 from a dishonest boyfriend (of four years). She had it for years and didn't know what it was. Once diagnosed, she realized that there were times when he would not want sex and would not let her even touch him. Now she knows why. Since there is only one way to have children (and it doesn't involve condoms), I contracted it too. This is small price to pay for my two beautiful daughters.

 

The swinging we have done so far has been with people who DO NOT have Herpes but were 100% aware of the fact that we do! We are still seeking couples WITH herpes though. It removes the worry.

[littlebit54 16]

The swinging we have done so far has been with people who DO NOT have Herpes but were 100% aware of the fact that we do! We are still seeking couples WITH herpes though. It removes the worry.

 

Yes! Another honest person. I'm curious though, has anyone ever turned you down flat after finding out that you were infected? I have had one lover (who knew) and we practiced safe sex and as far as I know (or him either) he isn't infected. Neither one of us even suggested that he use a condom during oral sex (me to him); so, I'm wondering if you don't have both types, it's safe to have unprotected oral sex?

 

I also know that I was diagnosed with MS (a few years later) and since then, am always wondering if the genital herpes was misdiagnosed...hum? Possible or improbable?

 

Not that I care, even if I don't actually have genital herpes, I'll keep practicing safe sex, because I could get something worse and I don't need that, for sure!

[billandshan 15]

It's in our profile. So, really, they have no chance to meet face to face without knowing. However, that said, It would surprise you how many people can't read a simple profile (and the first few words at that). Either they just look at the pictures or do a speed read. When someone emails us, my first response is: "I assume you read the profile and are aware we have herpes. Correct?" To which there will normally be no response. Or they will repond: "Oh wow, I didn't see that". I see it as a public service!! As far as I know, we're the only ones that have it in our profile. That upsets us a bit as it puts others at risk and is just plain unethical. But then again, I gave up on an ethical world a long time ago. I just do my part and try to get others to do the same.

[New2 15]

One aspect which no one has mentioned is survivorship bias. Have you ever noticed at clubs or parties that you will meet someone and never see them again? Most likely it is a case of them trying swinging, and it not being their cup of tea. Some of them though may have contracted something, and they drop out because of the stigma. For the people who do have an std, and most likely have the feeling that they will not be able to find someone to swing with, I doubt they spend a lot of time looking at swinger chat boards. Kind of like window shopping when you are broke.

[good times 991]

Even though this is a pretty small poll from a research standpoint, I couldn't help but notice that the number of respondents who have caught STD's is not significantly different for those wearing condoms or not wearing them. I am wondering if this is support for my long held belief that the STD's that you are likely to encounter in the swinging community are not the kind of STD's that the use of condoms will prevent?

 

I know a quite a few swingers that have engaged in unprotected (assuming you consider condoms protection) sex for years and none of them have ever had any STD's.

[tribbles 490]

I haven't done enough swinging to answer. But I look forward to judging my risks better by the answers.

 

(I have a friend who just got treated for trich, she got it swinging and has less than one year in the lifestyle as a single female).

[VegasLee 1,486]

I don't think someones time in the lifestyle has anything to do with it. It only takes once to catch something if you are going to.

 

I personally have been enjoying recreational sex with others for about thirty years, have never caught anything.

 

I was involved in the West Coast NASCAR circuit for most of my life but only a driver for a few seasons. My last season was almost the end of my life, got in an accident that could have killed me.

 

There is risk and rewards to most everything we do in life. You have to weigh them and make your own decisions on what you want out of life.

 

We drive in Vegas each day, now that is taking a chance!

[DaveNSheila 16]

We haven't contracted an STD while swinging. Have to agree with what VegasLee wrote.

[BiDrywallChick 18]

Neither of us have ever caught an STD while swinging. It is all a matter of taking care of yourself and protecting yourself. You put a seatbelt on while driving a car. You don't eat chicken bones... You don't take a chance and go bareback. Ditto to what Vegas said.

[micsounds 15]

I wonder how accurate this poll can be on THE SWINGERS BOARD because it seems to me that if someone fell into one of the more serious categories, they are -probably- (notice I said PROBABLY) ex-swingers...? I would be interested to hear others thoughts on this?

[Spoomonkey 421]

I wonder how accurate this poll can be on THE SWINGERS BOARD because it seems to me that if someone fell into one of the more serious categories, they are -probably- (notice I said PROBABLY) ex-swingers...? I would be interested to hear others thoughts on this?

 

Change "probably" to "hopefully" and I'm with ya

 

Actually - there are couples who look to play with other folks who have STDs, thus keeping things in a tight little circle. I am not sure how successful they would be, but I think it is a great idea - they keep playing and no one else is harmed.

 

I would imagine, though, that catching an STD would probably send many couples into retirement.

 

Spoomonkey

[good times 991]

I wonder how accurate this poll can be on THE SWINGERS BOARD because it seems to me that if someone fell into one of the more serious categories, they are -probably- (notice I said PROBABLY) ex-swingers...? I would be interested to hear others thoughts on this?

 

It is possible, but I think it is more probable that std's are just not that common, in fact pretty rare amongst married couples. Additionally, I think that swingers in general just aren't in any of the high risk groups for std's, so it isn't surprising to me that I have never met or heard of anyone in the lifestyle who contracted an std from swinging.

[tribbles 490]

If it is easy to cure, why would it send people into retirement?

[Spoomonkey 421]

If it is easy to cure, why would it send people into retirement?

 

IF it is easy to cure...

 

If not - I would think it would be self explanatory.

 

On the other hand, even if it is easy to cure, I think a lot of folks might view it as "dodging a bullet". If you can get an easy to cure one, you could just as easily gotten one that isn't so easy to cure.

 

We all take risks in the lifestyle, but they are measured and based on at least some self-delluison of being "bulletproof". My guess is, when faced with the reality of it, most folks might seriously reconsider their choice of hobby.

 

Obvioulsy, not everyone would, but I'd be surprised if it didn't at least cross everyone's mind.

 

Spoomonkey

[Arrival5 15]

Okay, my hubby and I recently became interested in swinging so we are newbies/virgins/whatever, but we are very concerned about STD's. I would imagine that most married couples are "clean" and have a very low risk for contracting STD's among other married couples, but what about the singles? I am sure singles involved in the Lifestyle have sex outside that environment with vanilla people as well, so it could take just one bad apple to spoil the whole bunch. Not to mention that apparently lots of younger people are joining the swinging world. It seems like the risk of getting an STD for an 18 to 25 year old today is much higher than it was back when I was that age. (I'm 35)

 

What's that saying? ... When you sleep with a person it's like sleeping with every person they have slept with and all the people those people have slept with .... You can liken it to that Kevin Bacon game, "You are 7 degrees from an STD." Or if anyone here watches the Showtime series The L-Word, Alice's infamous "chart" really puts it into perspective.

 

I know you can get tested for STD's to prove that you are "clean", but aren't there some things out there that take years to show up? (HIV) This is such a downer topic, but something that should never be overlooked. I am sure many have uttered the classic, "It will never happen to me," but by saying that Murphy's Law dictates that their chances of "it" happening increase by 99.9%.

 

Just my 2 cents for what it's worth.

[WoodyInSoCal 15]

I am sure singles involved in the Lifestyle have sex outside that environment with vanilla people as well, so it could take just one bad apple to spoil the whole bunch.

From my experience in the lifestyle, I'm not sure any of us are any more at risk with singles as we are with "married" couples.

 

There are many couples that will swing as singles as well as a couple. How do you know if the couple you are with does that?

 

Simply put, if you want to be assured of never contracting an STD, have sex with your monogomous partner only. But, of course I also know "devoted" couples where an STD was mysteriously contracted. At least in swinging, both partners are aware of the risks and there won't be any issues of betrayal should either partner become exposed to an STD.

 

...aren't there some things out there that take years to show up? (HIV)

In the San Fernando Valley (the porn production capital of the world) there are clinics that perform DNA testing for HIV that will indicate exposure as early as 3 or 4 days prior to the test.

[intuition897 2,179]

There are risks in everything. You could break your neck tripping over your bunny slippers as you get out of bed in the morning. Yes, the risk of contracting an STD increases when you expand your network of sex partners. But as far as WHO we're having sex with, I feel pretty comfortable. The people we tend to hang out with make informed decisions about who they choose to share their bodies with. It's something that's been thought out at some length for everyone involved. It wasn't "the usual" Saturday night at a vanilla club where everyone drinks themselves into a stupor so they can blame the anonymous sexual antics that night on the alcohol the next day. I think this attitude of "I did something very bad last night because I was drunk" promotes the transmission of STD's. We choose to do what we do, and we don't have to throw caution to the wind to keep up the pretense of our behaviour being caused by loss of control of ourselves. (Did that make sense to anyone??) That means we can enjoy sex without guilt and still have the presence of mind to use condoms, share information about sexual histories, and set boundaries.

 

In all, swingers tend to be pretty responsible (IMO) about safer sex practices. Add to this the fact that we are open books. I mean, you never know everything about your partners; you'll never know for certain that one isn't cheating on the other, but the chances of this are much slimmer, I think. It's full disclosure. No one has to hide anything, so generally, everyone knows (more or less) where everyone else has been. That said, I think we're a little less inclined to play with couples who choose to attend large group-sex gatherings where there's a lot of anonymous sex.

 

The only thing we've caught in 5 years of swinging was a yeast infection.

[Bama0468 93]

I hate the fact that "never " was used, the only thing I am superstitious about. Anyhow we have yet, knock on wood, to catch anything, in part I think it is because we are careful. We do tend to chat the folks up a bit, and while we have done an off-premise club or two, we still only played with folks we had met at previous ones and maybe not played with before. I feel it is this small getting to know you a bit thing that we like to do that has kept us safe. After all you can converse lightly about life and things and get a good feel about the people you are hanging with.

[Thron&Thor 117]

Nope, we have not contracted anything...that we know of as of today...

 

Life is a risk when you open the door to go out in the morning and the fact that a plane did not land on you during the night...

 

So your judment is limited by your experiences and what is visually before you when you sex party...some precautions offer some protection, but nothing is 100% safe...so take a good look before hand and no one should object to a little scurinty and simply ask the question...most will always be up-front with you...but bugs & viruses do not respond to questions so do as Alfred E. Newman said "What me worry?"...otherwise, you are should not be here in the swinger's world.

[Chris&Amelia 253]

I'm glad to say that we've never caught anything, and we were both recently (as of a month ago) tested to make sure that we were clean.

 

Is it a possibility? Sure. The condom may come off... it could break... hell, you may catch something during oral. But I think that this will always be the proverbial sword of Damocles hanging over the heads of swingers everywhere. You have to accept that, short of not having sex (or at least having strictly monogamous sex, with condoms, with your partner), that risk is always going to be there in some form.