Making out / play at party permission question.

[Naberius 3]

We have only attended one party so far in a hotel which had about 140 or so people and started in a dance hall  with a cash bar. My wife and I are pretty open to each other frolicking around flirting / playing at a party without being attached at the hip or requiring a pause to find the other and ask permission from one another before going at it with someone else we're interested in, but wondering where most people tend to lean on this position, or what the general etiquette is relating to that type of scenario.

The way we see it, if I'm off dancing with someone and she's hanging out at the table alone or with a friend, and someone approaches her and wants to make out, finger her, go down on her, or whatever, that's entirely up to her, and they only need her permission to go for it.

 

Our only experience with this situation so far was when I ended up making out with and fingering a single woman with another married guy I had been hanging around with that evening. It happened organically and quite quickly, and we asked her if it was ok before we escalated anything and she agreed. His wife was standing next to him and it wasn't long before she moved in toward me. She didn't ask him, she didn't ask my wife who was standing nearby chatting with another couple. She asked me with her eyes, and I accepted with my body language. I was perfectly ok with all of that, but it left me wondering if most people leave it up to their partner to decide and play for themselves in these types of situations.

 

[adamgunn 1,461]

We separate at house parties and sometimes at our club. Our only 'rule' (if you care to call it that,) is that the first time of the night when we do full swap, the two of us are together. After that, we're on our own. 

 

I expect my wife to flirt heavily, that's how we get the majority of our couples, so it's fine with me.

 

But, I find the "She asked me with her eyes, and I accepted with my body language" to be a recipe for disaster. It's very easy to misinterpret body language. I'd advise her to actually come over and say, "you want to do these people?"

[Naberius 3]

17 minutes ago, adamgunn said:

But, I find the "She asked me with her eyes, and I accepted with my body language" to be a recipe for disaster. It's very easy to misinterpret body language. I'd advise her to actually come over and say, "you want to do these people?"

That was only while we were making out and she moved in slowly toward my face while maintaining eye contact as an obvious "ask" to join. I simply leaned in toward her with a smile and let it happen.

 

[Numex 2,463]

1 hour ago, Naberius said:

if... someone approaches her and wants to make out, finger her, go down on her, or whatever, that's entirely up to her, and they only need her permission to go for it.

Well stated and that's my philosophy.  My wife, not I, knows what she wants at the moment.