Generally accepted limits in regards to swinging with in-laws or others

[ratimadan 75]

We are curious as to what are the generally accepted limits in swinging for a married couple that would involve sexual intimacy, foreplay and intercourse with another male or female that they may be related to? Specifically, is it OK to fuck this person if we are related to her/him, but not by blood and certainly does not involve incest.

 

For instance, would it be OK for a man to have sexual intercourse with his wife's sister-in-law if she was a widow? This presupposes that it is OK with the wife. The swinging may involve a FMF threesome or just one-on-one screw session/s while the wife watched? The flip side may be a MFM where the wife gets fucked by the single guy, who may be related, but, not by blood, again, with no objection from the hubby. In fact the hubby may approve, encourage, watch her get screwed or participate.

 

Would love to hear opinions regarding the propriety of this type of sex swap. Also, whether or not it is commonplace or taboo and if you have personally indulged in intercourse with her/him.

 

Thanks for the opinions and input.

HELP

[cafehunk 15]

Under some of circumstances you describe, the Bible would require sexual relations. (Genesis 38:6-10)

[yawanna 17]

We are curious as to what are the generally accepted limits in swinging

 

There are, actually, NO generally accepted limits as you posited.

 

Some people don't like spouses 'cheating' on the other, others don't care. Some don't think single men are technically swingers, others think they are a welcome accompaniment to sexual activities. And every other possible permeation of 'swinging' you could imagine is participated by some swingers at any given time.

 

Pardon me...I have to add however, that involving children, bestiality and violence IS generally frowned upon.

 

That said, I've had a few opportunities to become sexually intimate with non blood relatives. The overtures and offers always made me very uncomfortable. It's just too close to home for comfort for me. It may not be for you and that is totally your decision whether to partake or not.

 

There is no rule book of swinging that you will be accountable to.

 

Go forth and enjoy.

 

[WesternSwing 504]

I can't speak absolutely for my wife, but knowing her pretty well I'd have to say she'd agree with me that it would be to uncomfortable afterwards with any member of family, no matter how extended.

[cowboytim 15]

if everybody is agreeable go for it:bj:

[Alura 2,774]

I have a brother (not the Commodore) who has, at one time or another, hit on all four of his sisters-in-law. So far as I know, he's not been successful with any of them. Come to think of it, he's probably hit on most of the ladies he's met. He'd probably be mortified if he knew they've all talked (and had a good laugh) about his all-too-transparent attempts. Now, mind you, all five of the sisters-in-law, including his wife are pretty hot ladies, so I guess you can't fault his tastes. I don't think he ever hit on our sister's husband. Give him credit for that.

 

If all are in agreement, no family problems are likely, and all think they can handle interacting with each other at family reunions, I see no problems. As others have said, it's not illegal, and since the bible says you must, well...

 

[Spoomonkey 421]

...into it may be a little bit weird...

 

Certainly, the kind of relation you are talking about isn't really a recipe for kid with a few missing genes... Of course, in our "safe sex" focused board, I guess that isn't likely to be an issue... Either way, as my severely twisted step-father used to say, "if you ain't breedin', then it ain't IN-breedin'."

 

He was what you might consider a "sick bastard" though...

 

My thought is - and I understand and dig where everyone else is coming from - family is something you want to keep strong. Swinging can, every now and then, throw relationships a pretty wicked curve ball, and I'm not sure that any kind of intermarital sex is worth the loss of family, regardless of how remote...

 

Plus - you have the potential for the whole, "Pass the slaw, you bent dick bastard" at the next family reunion that could make every oh so uncomfortable.

[Miss_Piggy 98]

I wouldn't go there with family. I agree with Spoomonkey here. Family (and even close friends for that matter) serve a certain purpose in my life. I have different relationships for different purposes. I don't have an interest in messing too much with those boundaries. Consequentially, I prefer to keep my family as family and my friends as friends and sex partners as sex partners. This is not to say that people can't jump from one group to another to a certain extent. Just that certain jumps are much less probable than others. The family to sex partner jump is highly unlikely.

[fun_pairTX 26]

There are no "standard" limits. Every couple sets their own. What is acceptable to one may not be acceptable to another and vice versa. Mrs Fun and I concern ourselves with our own conduct and leave everyone else to theirs.

[hmr 25]

My first reaction is it would be too uncomfortable. In all honesty, I can't say for sure what I would do. I guess it would depend on how close this family member actually is. Some relatives I know would be too close for comfort. Those married to my siblings, or Mr's siblings are too close. After that, who knows.

 

Would I see them differently to make it bother me? I mean, really there isn't an emotional bond. I don't get bothered when I run into play friends in public, why should this be different? Hell, I probably run into them more often than I would see any of my extended family anyway!

 

mrs hmr:)

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

The limit is were both stop agreeing on what is acceptable.

[b_and_sc 16]

I have to agree with the rest of the group here...

 

it might make it a bit weird at a reunion or something down the line, but if you are all in to it, there are no rules about it

 

I wouldn't do it, but that is just my own personal opinion and situation...although hubby does have a particularly good looking cousin I've admired...hehe

[ratimadan 75]

Thanks a million to all of you for posting such thoughtful responses to our query. That's what makes this Board so great!

 

As a matter of fact, the question we posed is real-life and not hypothetical. My sister-in-law , Jan (not her real name) has been widowed for 15 long years. Jan is a wonderful, yet traditional female who was very dedicated to her departed husband and the two children that are now adults. Due to and out of her dedication and upbringing she did not date men after her hubby's death. Any interaction with men has been strictly business or social, not sexual. She has not been with another man for intimacy, much less partake sexual intercourse. In all these years she has not taken a man's penis in her vagina. This is the truth, strange as it my sound. She now thinks she to explore her sexuality fully. However, she does not want to commit to a marital or emotional bond. We suppose swinging is about women and men exploring their sexuality fully, in an uninhibited manner and without guilt. We suggested that she explore the lifestyle with a male partner or perhaps as a single female. The latter may be problematical for her due to her shy nature.

 

Hubby and Jan get along fine. He thinks Jan is hot. The admiration is mutual. Since Jan has not had sex in years, I, the wife, feels it would be a wonderful idea for her to have caressive intimacy and intercourse with my hubby in a separate room. Since Jan is shy she may not want anyone to watch the two nude while he plays with her to get her vaginal juices flowing. Many years' of abstinence can do weird things such as vaginal dryness. then he may slide his penis in her vagina and screw her until she cums. A few sessions of sexual intercourse with him hopefully will give her back her self confidence for future sexual encounters with other men. Him and her screwing each other is a short term fix. Long term we want her get into swinging with couples of her choice and enjoy sexual intercourse with multiple partners of opposite sex. She is straight by the way. This idea is not too far fetched I hope!

 

This brings up another question regarding how many single women (widowed or divorced) participate in the lifestyle with or without a male companion. We are friends with one couple (she is divorced and he is a widower) that are into full swap, anything goes, intercourse with couples (m/f).

 

Thanks in advance for your thoughts and the Swingersboard for allowing us express our thoughts in such an explicit manner.

 

(Mrs) R&M

[BradAndJanet 70]

Well...now that you put it like that...

 

I say, go for it, if everybody agrees. I sure don't see anything wrong with it. Fifteen years is a long time.

 

Just watch out for emotional entanglements...

[Spoomonkey 421]

I think that you are being incredibly unselfish in your desire to get her motor running again.

 

I would caution you to be very connected with your husband if you go this route. But - we are uncomfortable with swinging alone, so take our advice with a grain of salt. We feel that partners playing alone can lead to too many emotions.

 

Other than that little caveat, I'd say it is a really kind thing to do to help her restart her libido/vaginal juices... The drying up of vaginal juices is sincerely one of the saddest things that can happen in the world

[Mich149 16]

I'd have to agree with just about everyone here. No blood relation = no incestuous weirdness. Especially after 15 years.

 

That being said, I don't think I'd ever be personally comfortable crossing the line with family. But maybe I'm just wound too tight

[GirlieZ 15]

Quote

Hubby and Jan get along fine. He thinks Jan is hot. The admiration is mutual. Since Jan has not had sex in years, I, the wife, feels it would be a wonderful idea for her to have caressive intimacy and intercourse with my hubby in a separate room. Since Jan is shy she may not want anyone to watch the two nude while he plays with her to get her vaginal juices flowing. Many years' of abstinence can do weird things such as vaginal dryness. then he may slide his penis in her vagina and screw her until she cums. A few sessions of sexual intercourse with him hopefully will give her back her self confidence for future sexual encounters with other men.

 

Wow! Sounds wonderful! How unshelfish of you!

 

If all involved are comfortable with the whole situation...Go for it!

[Vjklander 138]

Well, I have this cousin...

[da2ofusgb 24]

Hi and great question...

 

We would both have to say GO for it. It sounds like you guys have a very open relationship and see nothing wrong at all in helping your widowed friend out.

 

Have fun...

[tazzie_n_truck 17]

For us some limits we have,

 

1. Don't do anything with family, (Including in-laws)

 

2. What goes on with us and another couple stays with us. If they say it's ok to talk about them with other couples or people, that's ok. No talking about the particulars.

 

3. No always means NO. We have come across a lot of people in the lifestyle who are very pushy and have been very rude with us.

 

4. Don't tell anyone in our families that we are swingers. That's the last thing we need is to have our families find out. Then we would never hear the end of it, and for Truck coming from a strong religious family, he don't want to be preached at by his family.

[ionsawmill 86]

Originally posted by cafehunk

Under some of circumstances you describe, the Bible would require sexual relations. (Genesis 38:6-10)

 

I don't even like my (widowed) sister-in-law. My wife and I have discussed this situation before and both agreed that God will just have to strike me down. I'm not goin' there.

 

As for ratimadan's situation, it would have to depend on how close Jan was with the rest of the family. It could get really, really wierd if you're around her at family reunions, holiday get-togethers, etc. with the rest of the family.

 

D.E. and I don't even want to swing in the same county we live in, for fear of swinging with family. I'm related to half the people in this county by blood, and the other half by marriage.

[CindyB 20]

My husband and I were involved in a sharing situation with his brother for a little over a year. He had gotten divorced and really messed over by his ex-wife. Some time passed and we really felt sorry for him. At my husbands prompting we began to get flirtatious. Over a period of about 6 or 7 months we went from teasing to my husband revealing my breasts to him. The next step happened one time when my husband opened my blouse in front of him. They dropped to their knees and each sucked a nipple. I was in heaven. After a few minutes my brother-in-law pulled me up and to him, unzipped his pants and put my hand in. We wound up on the bed where I gave him a hand-job. Serious discussions ensued over the next 2 weeks. At that time we began flirting again and the evening ended with he and I having sexual intercourse in front of my husband in our bed. It was unplanned and yet we all knew it had become inevitable. Regrets? Nope. Memories? Yep. He remarried and we now have a hands-off policy. But we still give each other "the look" quite often.

[JonnyBlaze 15]

I have asked my girlfriend if her sister, who is 18 years older than us could join us. shes older but still beautiful. She says no way but I think that's because of something I already did. About a year ago I slept with her niece. She's only 3 years younger than we are and as long as I have known her there was a mutual sexual attraction. If only I could have got the two of them together

[shyanne3296 15]

Forget all the bullsh_t, swinging is sex with someone other than your spouse with full permission of the spouse and without remorse or jealously on anyone's part. JUST DO IT!