First MFM almost ready!

[Spicenup2021 1]

Hello, My wife and I are about to have our first MFM experience and we have some questions that hopefully a lot of you can help out with.

A little back history. We have been married for over 22 years and have a strong relationship, communicate well and share our thoughts very well. We have a very good thing between us but was not always like that. The beginning was rough for us but that had to do with a lot of immaturity on both of our parts. The last 15 years have been wonderful. We started talking about a threesome a couple of years ago but never really let it develop. My wife had a lot of partners before me but none since. I have only had two. I love to make sure my wife always cums before me almost to a fault.  This past winter my wife tells me that she is interested and would like to start looking for a playmate. So we did the usual thing looking online to no avail. She got so fed up with the search we actually stopped looking for a month or two.  She visited me at my work and saw a guy that she said was what she was looking for. She kept playing around with me on inviting him  to join us. I know this guy fairly well and he has had mfm's in the past and we have talked about it at work before. He was/is quite the ladies man and has lots of experience. I finally had a conversation with him about our fantasy and he said he was open to the idea. He has seen my wife and always was looking at her when she came in to visit. Jump forward a couple of weeks and we have a date set for all three of us to go out and they get to know each other better. We all agreed that we will not be playing that night, just a meet and greet. Our questions are should there be some touching, flirting going on that night if things are going good. I have never seen her touched by another guy before and she and I are concerned on how I will feel in the moment. It does turn me on thinking about it when we talk. I am not a jealous guy at all but never been in a situation where I have had to be. We like the fact that he has some experience in the matter and is very mature about it and I know him fairly well. We have talked about rules with him and he is good with them. The other concern is I have to work with him after our encounter. I think I will be good and I know he will be. But there is always that concern in the back of my head. If things went bad I think we could still work together since we do not interact a whole lot during the day. How do you know when your ready to make that jump for fantasy to reality? We both like the idea of doing this and is a huge turn on for her as well as myself. In fact the last couple of months since we decided to start looking, our sex life has been off the charts, almost like when we first got together years ago. We are always talking about our concerns, what if's, feelings and such. We really think we are ready. Any advice from someone that had the same questions would be great. 

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

We strongly don't believe that you should mix what happens in the bedroom with what happens at work or in public. You knew that he has had MFM's in the past so you also know that he tells others about his sex life. How would you feel if the entire office knew about your sex life? Finding a single guy for a MFM is just WAY TOO EASY (I can only assume you have been looking in the wrong places)...there are THOUSANDS looking for what you want. You just need to sort thru them to find what you both are looking for. The risk/reward of having this with someone you know is just too high in our opinion...

[AndrewandAnn 360]

We agree with GoldCoCouple.

 

Pursuing lifestyle activities with someone at work is courting disaster.

 

Look, in our opinion, people can pursue the lifestyle in one of two ways: Publicly or privately. But, it can't be both.

 

If you choose to pursue the lifestyle with someone at work, the "secret" will get out. You will be exposed not only to the potential embarrassment, but it creates the conditions for myriad other professional and social complications, too. These should be fairly obvious.

 

 

[couplers 4,639]

On 7/5/2021 at 1:36 PM, Spicenup2021 said:

My wife had a lot of partners before me but none since. I have only had two.

I admire that about you guys: a woman with a number higher than the her husband, and he likes her for that.  Time to start your further adventures together.

 

May I be the contrarian here?  If you both believe that your co-worker is a good fit and has sufficient discretion (for instance, when he said that he has had MFMs in the past, did he name names, or keep confidences?) then make the logical decision.  There is a reason people date and even marry people at work: you get to know them pretty well.

 

I had an affair (hubby and boyfriend both knew) with a guy at work, not an employee but a guy from an outside consulting/accounting firm.  It went on for a little over six months and didn't turn out to be anywhere as good as I thought it would be, so I broke it off.  I don't know if anyone knew, we were very discreet, but nothing ever came of it.

[AndrewandAnn 360]

13 hours ago, couplers said:

I admire that about you guys: a woman with a number higher than the her husband, and he likes her for that.  Time to start your further adventures together.

 

May I be the contrarian here?  If you both believe that your co-worker is a good fit and has sufficient discretion (for instance, when he said that he has had MFMs in the past, did he name names, or keep confidences?) then make the logical decision.  There is a reason people date and even marry people at work: you get to know them pretty well.

 

I had an affair (hubby and boyfriend both knew) with a guy at work, not an employee but a guy from an outside consulting/accounting firm.  It went on for a little over six months and didn't turn out to be anywhere as good as I thought it would be, so I broke it off.  I don't know if anyone knew, we were very discreet, but nothing ever came of it.

While I respect your opinion, your example is not quite the same thing as what this couple is proposing. Having a relationship with someone who works for an outside company is not the same as having an ongoing relationship with someone you work with at the same firm.

 

There is a reason why most Fortune 500 companies have higher level executives sign employment agreements that contain explicit prohibitions against such behavior. And there are many instances of high level executives having been terminated for violating the policy: Top executives at Boeing, McDonalds, Eli Lilly, BlackRock, Warner Bros, NBC Universal, and many others, all lost their jobs due to having affairs with co-workers.

 

There is a simple rule in business: "Don't stick your d__k in the payroll."

[couplers 4,639]

On 7/8/2021 at 6:52 AM, AndrewandAnn said:

your example is not quite the same thing as what this couple is proposing. Having a relationship with someone who works for an outside company is not the same as having an ongoing relationship with someone you work with at the same firm.

I agree.  My story is anecdotal, for whatever it is worth.  

[Spicenup2021 1]

Thank you for all the responses but we are not concerned with the co worker idea. We were looking for more on how did you know when you were ready to go from fantasy to realitly? Did you do any flirting or touching when you met for a drink to see how it went. We are doing a meet and greet with this guy so I can get to know him a little better before jumping right into it. My thought was to do some flirting and touching if things go good. This way my husband can see if he is good with it lol. He thinks he will buy you never know until your in the situtation. Thanks.

[Numex 2,416]

15 hours ago, Spicenup2021 said:

We were looking for more on how did you know when you were ready to go from fantasy to realitly?

Our process was a bit drawn out, but it worked for us.  The first time they got together for dinner to see if the chemistry was there, no sex.  Second time, the three of us got together for dinner so he understood that I knew and it was all good, no sex.  Third time, they started fucking without me there, a decision my wife and I made so they would be comfortable, no complications.  Later, Daniela decided she wanted MFMs with me and half or more of the times she had sex with him after that, I was involved as well.

 

Followed the same procedure for guy number 2, who overlapped guy number 1.  Then Daniela wanted FF and FFM experiences and couples swaps.

[adamgunn 1,460]

As the wife, you are in control. After ensuring your husband is feeling happy and included (which should. be easy if he's into this,) the only true responsibility is to ensure that you have fun.

 

Discuss with your husband before the first meet that you intend to flirt with the man, and let him know that you intend to draw the man into a liaison. That he should not feel you are 'ignoring' him, simply that for both your pleasure you will be interacting with your potential lover more than you will him. 

 

Have a safe word that he can say to slow things down if he is uneasy. Make sure it is unique enough that you are certain to hear it. If he says it, start paying more attention to your husband, find out what the issue is before going back to full-on flirting. 

 

However, unless you hear that word, have the belief that what you are doing is fine with your husband - it's his responsibility to say it, not yours to anticipate it. Take the flirtation as far as you want to, as far as you are comfortable with. If you decide that you want to take it as far as going to a private place and getting naked, try to have a short conversation with your husband as to your intention, let him agree with it.

 

As far as knowing if/when you are ready, it's really easy. If the juices are flowing and there are no doubts, you're ready!

 

Best of luck.

[Eddiem 139]

On 7/13/2021 at 10:30 PM, Spicenup2021 said:

Thank you for all the responses but we are not concerned with the co worker idea. We were looking for more on how did you know when you were ready to go from fantasy to realitly? Did you do any flirting or touching when you met for a drink to see how it went. We are doing a meet and greet with this guy so I can get to know him a little better before jumping right into it. My thought was to do some flirting and touching if things go good. This way my husband can see if he is good with it lol. He thinks he will buy you never know until your in the situtation. Thanks.

Are you both writing this? Anyway... my experience was the excitement, the roller coaster of emotions, I wanted to see, did not want to see... but wanted again to see. The important aspects (milestones) are the point of no turning back ones. 1-When she grabs the new cock for the 1st time 2- He takes off her panties 3- when she starts to relax (oral sex) and the last two..4-when he enters her (her sounds, movements) and 5-when he cums (inside?) and she orgasms. The points of no return. 

[lovefest04 699]

On 7/13/2021 at 1:30 PM, Spicenup2021 said:

Thank you for all the responses but we are not concerned with the co worker idea. We were looking for more on how did you know when you were ready to go from fantasy to realitly? Did you do any flirting or touching when you met for a drink to see how it went. We are doing a meet and greet with this guy so I can get to know him a little better before jumping right into it. My thought was to do some flirting and touching if things go good. This way my husband can see if he is good with it lol. He thinks he will buy you never know until your in the situtation. Thanks.

I don't think you are ever totally ready. At some point you just have to jump in and trust the water will be fine. If you find it's not, then get out. No blame, no harm, no foul. Stick together no matter what.

 

One of our first meetings was with a single male. We had a drink then went for dinner. During drinks we both (the men) kissed my wife, not aggressively, lovingly. My wife broke the ice by kissing him gently upon meeting for the first time. It was a signal to him and my opportunity to kinda feel out me reaction.

 

The night was more like getting in the pool using the stairs. First one step, water up to our ankles ( a few hugs and a few kisses), then the second step, water to our thighs (dinner with touching under the table and flirting). Her between us, us both touching her thigh, inner and outer. Third step more obvious and daring. Him kissing her at the table, then I, fingers inserted into her. Folks around us we're certainly interested in the beautiful woman and two men. More petting etc. The whole evening was a build up to the sex. It was so fun. At any point along that path we could have easily stopped and left. But in our case, we finally jumped in and loved the evening. Good luck.

[Spicenup2021 1]

On 7/20/2021 at 5:01 AM, Eddiem said:

Are you both writing this? Anyway... my experience was the excitement, the roller coaster of emotions, I wanted to see, did not want to see... but wanted again to see. The important aspects (milestones) are the point of no turning back ones. 1-When she grabs the new cock for the 1st time 2- He takes off her panties 3- when she starts to relax (oral sex) and the last two..4-when he enters her (her sounds, movements) and 5-when he cums (inside?) and she orgasms. The points of no return. 

Eddiem, We are both on here, sometimes together and sometimes alone. Tonight togethere lol. What you said does excite both of us. We think we will be just fine. 

Thank you for your response. Its always good to hear from someone that has been there before.

[Spicenup2021 1]

On 7/20/2021 at 11:30 AM, lovefest04 said:

I don't think you are ever totally ready. At some point you just have to jump in and trust the water will be fine. If you find it's not, then get out. No blame, no harm, no foul. Stick together no matter what.

 

One of our first meetings was with a single male. We had a drink then went for dinner. During drinks we both (the men) kissed my wife, not aggressively, lovingly. My wife broke the ice by kissing him gently upon meeting for the first time. It was a signal to him and my opportunity to kinda feel out me reaction.

 

The night was more like getting in the pool using the stairs. First one step, water up to our ankles ( a few hugs and a few kisses), then the second step, water to our thighs (dinner with touching under the table and flirting). Her between us, us both touching her thigh, inner and outer. Third step more obvious and daring. Him kissing her at the table, then I, fingers inserted into her. Folks around us we're certainly interested in the beautiful woman and two men. More petting etc. The whole evening was a build up to the sex. It was so fun. At any point along that path we could have easily stopped and left. But in our case, we finally jumped in and loved the evening. Good luck.

 

What you said is eaxctly how we would like to have things play out. Just curious do you still have mfm's or was that a one time thing that was fun?

[EastInWest 1,524]

On 7/20/2021 at 5:01 AM, Eddiem said:

Are you both writing this? Anyway... my experience was the excitement, the roller coaster of emotions, I wanted to see, did not want to see... but wanted again to see. The important aspects (milestones) are the point of no turning back ones. 1-When she grabs the new cock for the 1st time 2- He takes off her panties 3- when she starts to relax (oral sex) and the last two..4-when he enters her (her sounds, movements) and 5-when he cums (inside?) and she orgasms. The points of no return. 

The posts about jumping in the pool are entertaining because our first experience was poolside. Followed more or less this same arc: 1) her feeling his cock for the first time, and once she collected herself (after initially literally getting out of the pool and walking away for a few minutes), sitting on his lap and taking off her top, then going down on him on a lounge chair.

 

I felt a strong "point of no return" sensation when her head started bobbing, but absolutely no urge to stop it. It was more like suspense, and incredibly arousing. We're all adults and know what happens when a woman takes a man into her mouth, but the first time watching, I was not convinced it was going to happen until I saw her speeding up and heard the gulp. 

 

When we went to shower off after the pool we checked in to make sure we were both good. She ended up sucking the other dick at the party that night, and we didn't move on to full swap until the following evening, once we were alone with the first couple again, at our hotel.

[lovefest04 699]

On 7/24/2021 at 4:46 PM, Spicenup2021 said:

 

What you said is eaxctly how we would like to have things play out. Just curious do you still have mfm's or was that a one time thing that was fun?

Still have them. We've had MMMF, MFM, MFMF.

 

We never saw that particular man again for other reasons, but it was fun, it was a positive experience and is to this day a sexy memory. No regrets.

[Numex 2,416]

21 hours ago, EastInWest said:

we checked in to make sure we were both good. She ended up sucking the other dick at the party that night,

It adds to the excitement when you have some doubt, check, and find out you're both ready for more. 

[herpob 564]

My husband & I watched other couples to start out. Not a threesome though we have gotten in those many times over the years within groups of couples, but we were invited by couples to participate but were uncertain about it so we were invited to watch. The more we watched the more we became comfortable getting naked and watching and so on. 

 

More to your post, not to long ago, one of my younger friends and her husband decided to have their first mfm. She asked all the same questions and more. When the weekend came for them they planned it like a date letting their chatter lead to sex talk each being asked what one thing they'd like to do if they could do anything that weekend. Then they headed to their room which had a very large sitting or entertainment room, they played sex games until they had teased, touched, and played enough to where clothes were coming off more and more leading to private (area) massages. They had an entire weekend eventually working to oral orgasms and intercourse. My friend said the attention the men lavished on her was so queen like she never wanted to stop. A few weeks later they met up again this time their male friend had his girlfriend there. The dynamics were much more challenging and they only want to do threesomes for now.

 

I get that but for my husband & I we like couples and always stay together in the same room.

 

Much success, go slow, take your time, and know you never have to rush. Enjoy!

[Numex 2,416]

On 7/29/2021 at 11:15 PM, herpob said:

The dynamics were much more challenging and they only want to do threesomes for now.

Interesting, please explain how the dynamics of a threesome are less challenging than a straight up couples swap.  Thanks! 

[herpob 564]

I will ask her. 

 

My husband and I get into 2 sets of 3sm positions with 3 couples and it works perfectly so I can only assume it is the same for them, taking turns focusing on one person at a time. The pleasures are immense. For us 3 couples work exceptionally well. 

 

When it is us and another couple only can leave one person slightly out on the fringe if we wind up in 3sm position.

 

As for a straight up swap, it doesn’t do much for us as we can do everything we want to do with each other as a couple, so for us it makes no sense to straight up swap. It is the added person or people that create the dynamics we prefer. Personally I do not want another man's single penis, I want two, or more, or to share it with another.