Wife wants woman or more

[Beetz 16]

Hey everyone,

 The wife and I have been together for 10 years with children. My wife and I have talked about swinging before and she has been with women before, before we met. I am 100% ok with that. I feel like we are in a great place with our relationship and also know that life is short and we want to have fun! Long story short I am down for what ever is thrown at us sexually, as in full swap/soft swap/ mfm/ ffm/ and so on. We have an adults only vacation coming up out of the US and think it would be the perfect opportunity. I've done some research about "swinger signs" aka jewelry, pineapples, black rings etc. but want it give it our best shot. Do you all have any advice about hooking up with another couple or a "unicorn" while on this vacation?

Thanks in advance.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

First of all: there ARE NO 'swinger signs'. Best example I can give is the rainbow...used to mean someone liked rainbows, now the accepted identifier for the LGBTQ community. If you see a rainbow, it's probably someone who identifies with that community. If there was a 'secret sign', once it becomes known it's no longer a secret and most swingers want to keep their privacy so there isn't a secret sign (unless a couple doesn't care if others know, then there are a couple not very subtle signs). Pineapples: no. Black rings: no...Prince Harry wears a black ring and I don't think he is a swinger. You left out white landscape rock, Tide box in the window, and papas grass in the yard.

 

If you both REALLY want to find another couple or unicorn (long shot...that's why they are called unicorns), then fish in a lake that is known for having fish in it already. Visit a resort that is known to cater to swingers. Desire RM, Desire Pearl (both in Cancun) and Hedo (Jamaica) are the first three that come to mind (we recommend Desire RM but that is just personal preference), all three are all inclusive, 'clothing optional' and 'swinger friendly'. There are also swinger cruises as well. Tell the friends that you are going to Cancun (or wherever, you don't need to tell them the resort...do you tell others that you are going to the Hilton in Dallas?) and have fun!

[Beetz 16]

Yes, I have come to learn about the signs. I do realize that it is not a secret symbol but I was not sure if they were used at all as some people may be more open with it. As far as location for our vacation, we will be just south of Cancun in Tulum for 8 days. Though I have heard of certain resorts in Cancun, I was not sure. Being close to Cancun I thought our odds might be better for meeting a like minded person or people. This would be a perfect trial run I believe. For something like this I would like to know as much as possible. Things like lingo, does and donts, maybe some proper etiquette. Google can teach you so much and stuff it cant so I prefer to ask the people who are doing it.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Desire RM is just a few miles north of there. You can purchase a day pass for the resort. Desire Pearl is actually in Cancun. Fish where you know there are the kind of fish you want to catch.

 

No special lingo (other than we call swinging the 'lifestyle' or L/S and anything that isn't swinging 'vanilla') and no secret handshakes. As for do's and don'ts: don't do anything without asking permission first. No means no...anything other than yes means no. Communicate with your partner and with whoever you are with. I can't tell you how many couples we have met (we usually have a vanilla first meeting with a new couple to make sure that there is a connection and to verify that both of them are on board) that don't want to talk about s-e-x...if they can't talk about it, how are they going to be able to actually DO it? We're all grown ups here and we've probably all had sex by now ?. Let everyone know what you are looking for and expecting. Since you are just starting out, it might just be same room sex or it could be full swap, but you don't know unless you can talk about it.

[Beetz 16]

Here is question. Is there such an app or a "craigslist" of sorts, to maybe see or find someone or other couples maybe in the area?

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Good advice above.

 

I'm not familiar with an app, but we don't keep up with that stuff as close as some might.  Not really an app, but maybe you could try signing up for one of the more popular swingers personals sites like SLS or SDC and then set your location to there?  I guess you can do that for outside the U.S.?  Never really looked to see though, maybe some of our more well-traveled members here will know.  Keep in mind though, time is short.  When it comes to swinging online, the journey from pixels on a screen to panties on the floor is often a long and arduous one, with lots of false starts and wrong turns.  Trying to make that happen in just a short period of time is going to feel like pressure.  Decisions made under pressure, either self-imposed pressure or from others pressure, very often don't turn out well.

 

Like GoldCoCouple said, the best way to find swingers is to go where the swingers go.  Swingers are pretty good at figuring out who is who and what they might be there for, aka "playdar".  Just be friendly and mingle and just tell the truth, or at least open with part of the truth. Like how you are there on an adults-only getaway and looking forward to getting a break from the kids, works, etc. and most of all, getting to do adult things.  Then just see how they react.  You don't even have to mention swinging.  Actually, better you don't, at least not using that term.  Just put the feeler out and see what happens.  If they are indeed swingers, they will most likely come back with some feelers of their own.  Just one word of caution though. Most swinger couples are perfectly willing to mentor new people, but by mentoring I don't mean sexually.  But, it can mean they help you with any questions, introduce you to their friends, invite you to a get-together, etc.  If that happens, then your chances of finding someone compatible to play with just went way up, simply a numbers game at that point.

 

Wishing you a great trip!  Just remember - the surest way to have a bad swinging outing is to set expectations for said outing.  Just go with no expectations other than having fun together, and then you can't go wrong!

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

I don't know of an app either. The closest we seem to have is the websites for finding other swingers (see 'Please visit our sponsors' above).

[Numex 2,409]

On 8/3/2021 at 5:34 PM, Beetz said:

I am down for what ever is thrown at us sexually, as in full swap/soft swap/ mfm/ ffm/ and so on.

 

On 8/3/2021 at 5:34 PM, Beetz said:

any advice about hooking up with another couple or a "unicorn" while on this vacation?

Since you are fine with just about any swinging activity, defer to your wife and let her choose.  It will make her comfortable in starting by you being generous.  For an MFM it would be easy for her to gain the interest of another man, or perhaps she would rather go the hotwife route to start, playing alone.  Even if you guys do a full swap with another couple, let her choose which ones to engage and charm.  Please keep us updated. 

[Beetz 16]

Well vacation came and went way to fast but here is an update. 

 Though the resort was packed with beautiful friendly people nothing happened as far as swinging or swapping though I believe if we would have pursued it more we probably could have made something happen. BUT! we did for a first time, watch swinger porn together multiple times. We have never watched porn together. It was hot and it definitely added to our "adult time". She got into it, I got into it. So I would say that even though nothing happened I think we took a small step forward. It was hot!

Edited September 15, 2021 by Beetz
Added more

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

One step at a time and you two have plenty of time. Thanks for reporting back!

[njbm 2,868]

Go to Desire RM next time. We had our first swinging experience there with a couple that told us they were not swingers. All levels of swingers there, including nudists and non-swingers. 

[PeterJ 940]

1 hour ago, njbm said:

"We had our first swinging experience there with a couple that told us they were not swingers."

Now that sounds like an interesting story, njbm. Care to elucidate us as how at a lifestyle-friendly resort you wound up having your first lifestyle experience with professed  "non-swingers"? ??

[njbm 2,868]

Glad to elucidate. We were looking to start swinging, so we went to Desire RM. People would say to us “Are you in the lifestyle?” We would say we’d like to try and they would generally walk away. Early in the week, we met a couple that we liked. They told us that they went to Desire and Hedo, but just for the sexy vibe. They said they were not swingers. 
 

At the end of the week, we had dinner with them. We danced with each other’s spouses. Between songs, my wife told me he was poking her with his erection while dancing. 
 

The four of us went to the hot tub, got naked and got in. Things were getting friendlier when we noticed a large man outside the hot tub masturbating. Not appealing. I asked the other couple if they wanted to come to our room. They said yes. The other husband grabbed some towels and a squeeze bottle of chocolate sauce. Part two coming up. 

[njbm 2,868]

So the four of us get to our room. The other husband suggests that we blindfold one of the wives. Then squirt chocolate sauce on her vital parts and she has to guess who is licking what ( a very unimportant part of the game). There was a lot of chocolate, a lot of licking and many, many towels full of chocolate as both wives had a turn. 
 

As an agent provocateur, I then asked the other couple if we could have sex with our spouse next to each other and just watch. The other wife got skittish and they went home. I hoped that I didn’t offend them. 
 

We saw them the next day and they gave us the tell tale kiss on the lips, so all was well. Glad we cracked the code. Super nice couple, nice first experience. 
 

 

Edited September 16, 2021 by njbm

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

I meant to come back and suggest for your next vacation to go to Desire RM. At its base, it is a 'clothing optional' all inclusive resort. What you do from there is up to you. There will be the entire spectrum happening there: from couples fully dressed (at least the first day or two) and not willing to get naked, to topless, to full nude, to couples and groups having sex out in the open (usually at the roof top jaccuzzi, things can get out of control there and that place should come with a warning sign ). Not only is the restaurant a  buffet, but what you choose to do at the resort is a buffet. Swingers rarely will do anything without asking permission first (golden rule is always ask permission first). You get to decide how far you want to go and with who. And planning the vacation is half the fun...thinking and talking about the possibilities. Once there, sometimes they happen and some times they don't, but thinking about them will usually cause more than a few steamy nights before you even depart. Remember to keep reporting back, no matter what you decide to do.

[njbm 2,868]

At Desire RM, we also recommend the special sexy couples massage if you are open minded. 

[couplers 4,614]

On 9/16/2021 at 4:03 PM, njbm said:

Glad to elucidate.

Bareback?

[njbm 2,868]

No, illuminate. We never go bareback with other people. 

[couplers 4,614]

16 hours ago, njbm said:

No, illuminate.

Very erudite.

[Beetz 16]

Hey everyone, I have updates! So we did go on vacation, while on vacation we started watching swinger porn, that turned into deeper talks and we have officially made a profile on a swinger site. It been very interesting and I can't wait to see where it goes!

[couplers 4,614]

On 10/21/2021 at 6:28 PM, Beetz said:

I can't wait to see where it goes!

Neither can I.  Please keep us updated. 

[Beetz 16]

We have joined a couple swinger dating sites.  Very intriguing how one site has been exploding with messages and interest and the other has not produced anything. We have both apps/sites set up the same. The one that has is working very well is the SLS app, the site that has not produced anything is Kasidie. We have been talking with one specific couple and are trying to work out a time to meet up. We both are nervous and excited! 

[Beetz 16]

We have joined a couple swinger dating sites.  Very intriguing how one site has been exploding with messages and interest and the other has not produced anything. We have both apps/sites set up the same. The one that has is working very well is the SLS app, the site that has not produced anything is Kasidie. We have been talking with one specific couple and are trying to work out a time to meet up. We both are nervous and excited! 

[Fitlakecouple 451]

10 hours ago, Beetz said:

We have joined a couple swinger dating sites.  Very intriguing how one site has been exploding with messages and interest and the other has not produced anything. We have both apps/sites set up the same. The one that has is working very well is the SLS app, the site that has not produced anything is Kasidie. We have been talking with one specific couple and are trying to work out a time to meet up. We both are nervous and excited! 

The swinger sites are very regional in nature. We only joined Kasidie for travel. SLS is big in the midwest. SDC the south, Lifestyle Lounge west... DDN is newer...

[Beetz 16]

52 minutes ago, Fitlakecouple said:

The swinger sites are very regional in nature. We only joined Kasidie for travel. SLS is big in the midwest. SDC the south, Lifestyle Lounge west... DDN is newer...

Did not realize it was a regional thing.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

SLS is the only game in town on the west coast.

[discreetplay 235]

27 minutes ago, GoldCoCouple said:

SLS is the only game in town on the west coast.

Interesting. We've had good success on Kasidie and we're on the west coast.

[Beetz 16]

Honestly kasidie has been a flop for us. Nothing has really came out of it. SLS has been the most active app and we have chatted with quite a few couples on Sls. We have yet to land our first experience but we are not rushing it either due to busy schedules. We have also been looking into visiting some clubs. Does anyone have any suggestions for clubs in the NW Ohio area? We are willing to travel. Really looking for anything in the Ohio/Xichigan/Indiana area...... go Buckeyes! Lol

[Fitlakecouple 451]

Kasidie is not popular in northern Ohio. It can be handy if you travel though.

There are a fair number of hotel takeovers in Sandusky. Check the hotdates in SLS.

[Beetz 16]

*UPDATE*

We met up with a couple and we did it! We fucked like crazy and it was fun and sexy and everyone had a great time. For a first time, I couldn't have asked for a better time. The other couple was great. I can't wait for our next one.

So sexy seeing everyone having a great time. Very sexy watching my wife perform, just wow!

[TeamCalgary 168]

LOL, this is really great hearing of your journey in his pursuit. 

Very pleased to hear that your first "encounter" went well. 

Congratulations to you both; you enthusiasm is infectious (in a good way) lol. 

[njbm 2,868]

4 hours ago, TeamCalgary said:

LOL, this is really great hearing of your journey in his pursuit. 

Very pleased to hear that your first "encounter" went well. 

Congratulations to you both; you enthusiasm is infectious (in a good way) lol. 

Don’t say infectious!😀

[Anastasia1999 0]

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