I am curious about swinging

[Buddy12927 2]

I am curious about swinging. My girlfriend was initially onboard but got nervous, now I'm looking into this as solo man, bi curious. 50ish any decent totally free sites to post on to meet people in the Chicago area ??  Sites?  Clubs?  Etc. 

[Baconheads 431]

You kind of get what you pay for

[njbm 2,868]

As a 50 year old single guy, good luck with the 25 year old competition. 

[Lionheart72 2,190]

Welcome.

 

So, as a single guy, you're at a bit of a disadvantage. Swinging is primarily a couples activity and while singles are welcomed in some groups, single guys are common as dirt and often less well received. At least a few clubs I know of outright refuse to admit single men, and some only admit them on specific nights/events. This is largely due to the perception that single guys are just creeps who think swingers gatherings are a quick way to find easy pussy. Unfortunately enough guys live down to that expectation to support it... and there are a lot of single guys.

 

If you want to do well as a single guy, my blunt advice is don't be the macho asshole who thinks an attitude, a wink and big dick are going to get him laid. Courtesy, charm, humor, good personal grooming and casual confidence will serve you much better in the long run (or so all the ladies I've listened to assure me).

[Lionheart72 2,190]

3 hours ago, njbm said:

As a 50 year old single guy, good luck with the 25 year old competition. 

I don't know... my wife has been known to pick a well groomed, polite 50 year old single guy over an athletic, charming 25 years old single guy. Some women like older man and there is something to be said for experience.

[TnA83 305]

Many couples disregard people with free memberships, especially single guys.

[lcmim 1,081]

13 hours ago, Lionheart72 said:

 

 

"If you want to do well as a single guy, my blunt advice is don't be the macho asshole who thinks an attitude, a wink and big dick are going to get him laid. Courtesy, charm, humor, good personal grooming and casual confidence will serve you much better in the long run (or so all the ladies I've listened to assure me)."

One other thing , if you get in to some group function, like a party by some local LS club, participate in the non-sex things.

When we first started out and were being vetted by the older members I helped set up for the groups dinner, placing chairs setting up the buffet etc. For some reason this was a duty relegated to the ladies. By the time dinner was served I had received a very friendly kiss, a few equally friendly full frontal hugs and had my ass grabbed. I had become a "real" person all thanks to the cold cuts.

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

6 hours ago, lcmim said:

One other thing , if you get in to some group function, like a party by some local LS club, participate in the non-sex things.

When we first started out and were being vetted by the older members I helped set up for the groups dinner, placing chairs setting up the buffet etc. For some reason this was a duty relegated to the ladies. By the time dinner was served I had received a very friendly kiss, a few equally friendly full frontal hugs and had my ass grabbed. I had become a "real" person all thanks to the cold cuts.

Foreplay is 24 x 7, and every lady of my/our ken notices when a gentleman helps out with chores unbidden. 

[herpob 563]

On 8/13/2021 at 2:00 PM, Buddy12927 said:

I am curious about swinging. My girlfriend was initially onboard but got nervous, now I'm looking into this as solo man, bi curious. 50ish any decent totally free sites to post on to meet people in the Chicago area ??  Sites?  Clubs?  Etc. 

My husband & I agree with many here - to first establish yourself on any site it you must Pay (no money & no couples are going to waste their time on you). Also it takes a lot of effort, time, & patience, especially as a single male looking for couples.

 

Ask my cousin, a 2 year single bimale looking for action; he took advice from our perspective as a couple. He paid for memberships to various sites, has clear, clean photos (no modifications), several photos with many more easily accessible upon request, is very active on his sites, in the community, blogs, forums, whatever the site provides, building friendships & relationships, he is honest but discrete in how he words his comments & posts, is well spoken & written, no crudeness, has the proven credentials (verified photo id & payment id), & has a well established reputation with good reviews.

 

It took him over a year to begin meeting live with couples (after they got to know him over the net) & almost two years before there was any sex with any of the couples. Now over two years & he has 3 couples, all who know now know each other thanks to him being forthright, who have sex with him as well as each other. None of the ladies are into ff in any setting so the sex is about mf, fm, mmf, fmm, mfm, mmfmf, & the occasional larger grouping of those variations.

 

He did mention that male to male hookups can be much quicker & simpler but that when he attempted it a few times, the men he met were not trustworthy. He said using the same process as with the couples would most likely have produced better results with the men but he isn’t pursing it since he enjoys being with men & women at the same time & the relationship dynamics of male female.

 

As for us, as a couple, it is pretty easy to find out about couples. We make certain they have been verified via a site through photo id & payment id (as Mark did). Chatting with them both you can figure them out most of the time if they are being upfront, live video chats, finally you meet them somewhere safe, populated, & feel them out.  If we haven't done all the aforementioned every time, it seldom pans out to anything more than a brief night out.  

 

With that said though, once in a while my husband & I will skip taking our time & go out to meet people from the internet that we found interesting, with no expectations whatsoever. At times it has been a single guy, a single lady, mostly couples, or a guy posing as a couple but his mate all of a sudden couldn’t make it (so many of those – ask our friends). We have met quite a few characters, so it is at least always entertaining. We have eaten dinner, had drinks, & danced with a few but seldom produces more than face to face sex chat. Most do not like our vibe, most we do not like their vibe, the single guy or lady are often too eyes all over one thing (pure lust - no substance), couples fair better but more than not the male is the one into the meet not the lady.

 

For those couples who seem to be there together for real wanting similar results they are almost always testing the water, which is totally fine. When they ask their questions about same gender contact, I can scare them off quickly with my enthusiastic enjoyment of helping the guys. Though we have met two what call quickie couples over a decade that we stay in touch with sharing sexual exploits with. Both couples moved to far away for anything to have happened once we became good friends.

 

Personally, I highly recommend you wait until you can get your female counterpart on board with becoming a part of the while process. In the end if she is only present it still goes a long way. My husband didn't do anything for the longest time, he sat & watched, supporting me. Heck he wouldn't even watch the guys unless it was mf, fm, ff, mfm, fmf, etc. Eventually he would get naked, then masturbate, then got into dildoing, pegging, helping the ladies, & so forth. So your lady friend doesn't have to do anything but be there if that is all she can muster. Couples like us feel way more comfortable with both partners being in the room. For us even as close as we are with our friends we still do not have sex apart. Yes someone might leave the room for a briefest of moments but few of us ever separate from our spouse. As far as everyone knows none of us have cheated, this has worked very well for our group. Play together, stay together. Even our group RP has everyone either in the same room watching or participating.

[Idahocouple6969 294]

On 8/13/2021 at 12:00 PM, Buddy12927 said:

I am curious about swinging. My girlfriend was initially onboard but got nervous, now I'm looking into this as solo man, bi curious. 50ish any decent totally free sites to post on to meet people in the Chicago area ??  Sites?  Clubs?  Etc. 

So is your GF onboard with you playing alone? Because if she isn't you are not swinging, you are cheating.

[MrMrsswinger 202]

My advice would be to join a site. Being a 50 year old single male and seeking a free site...you're going to be outclassed 100% of the time. 

 

The successful single men in the lifestyle are very well put together, are in great shape and usually young (30's to 40's). As a 50 year old you better be bringing something to the table - extreme package, body from a magazine cover, money, etc. 

 

For the most part...

For a couple to bring in a single male, they want something different than they already have at home. This means a bigger than average package or a body that is well beyond the husband. They are looking for a younger male, given the average age of those in the lifestyle. Some want to be wined and dined, given you are being given the man's wife. The statement you made about "totally free sites"...you expect to be able to do another man's wife by going on the cheap??  

 

The couple single males we've brought in were basically unicorns. Well to do, well aware how to treat a lady, great shape, etc. I bet I could find 100 single males below 35 in a day. Being 50....man, you better be bringing something special to the table to outshine the hundreds of younger males.