New to swinging

[Issy1987 1]

New to swinging would like advice on how to meet a new couple how to approach sex with them 

[dazanconfsd 84]

Many on here are very helpful and will chime in I'm sure. My wife and I started with a phone app called "3 fun" We met our first couple there. The next one we met on "Adult friend finder" these are optional pay sights and will expand your options if you do pay. Also you can look into clubs near you, not sure what they are doing about covid at clubs, Visiting one is still on our bucket list. Best of luck.

[Thegreyarea 100]

Find out what the most popular swinger site is in your area. When you find that out, pay for a membership to that site. Create a profile that includes plenty of info about both of you, likes, dislikes, what you’re looking for in this venture. Include pics of both of you. It doesn’t have to be face pics, you can keep those private to send to people you plan to meet. Interact. Search profiles. Message couples that pique your interests. You’ll get an influx of messages when you’re new. Find a couple that you may be compatible with. Meet for drinks or dinner. Keep it casual until you’re ready to make the plunge. The rest you’ll figure out. Make sure to communicate with your partner thru the whole process. From my experience the number one mistake new couples make is lack of communication. Good luck on your journey. 

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Great advice above.  The only thing I might add is the joining a swinger site like SwingLifeStyle, SDC, SwingTowns will give you access to event listings too.  Attending some off-premise meet and greets will be a good way to get a feel for things and start to meet some people.

 

On the how to approach, just do what feels natural.  If you meet up for dinner or drinks and it seems like you all feel some chemistry, then just see how it goes.  If they are interested in a second date, then you are probably well on the way.  Less common is things feel so perfect, it may even happen on the first date.  Most common is it won't happen at all. Swinging takes a lot of work since finding a 4-way match isn't as easy as people think it will be.  Just be patient though, success will come and will be worth the wait when it does.

 

Good Luck!

[njbm 2,871]

Once you meet a couple or two or three, you may get invited to a house party. Usually, an orgy like experience in a playroom. Early in our career, I just wanted to swap couple to couple. I later discovered that we could freelance. Very enjoyable. Some parties are a bust, but most were fun. But I am getting ahead of you guys. 

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Remember: search is your friend. This is probably the most popular question asked on the board.

 

Short answer:

 

Make sure that you are both on the same page.

Make sure that your relationship is ROCK SOLID, you trust each other COMPLETELY, and have excellent lines of communication.

Set your rules, limits, and expectations in advance knowing that you can always change them as you move forward

Do not change them unless you are outside of a sexual situation and the two of you can discuss this and agree.

Do not move faster than the slowest member is comfortable with.

If one of you says no, then the answer for both of you is a hard no.

 

Once you get to this point, then sign up and create a profile online.

Find the website that has the most people in your area and PAY TO JOIN IT (most members ignore free members thinking that they are fakes, flakes or not serious)

Be picky. Finding the right couple (or single) is not going to be easy, but stick to finding what you want.

Once you find another couple (or single) that you both are interested in, and they are interested in you two as well, set up a meeting for drinks or dinner.

Realize that you will also be rejected...that couple that seems perfect for you two might not be interested in you...don't take it personal.

Meet with no intentions other than meeting someone new to see if there is interest in more later.

DO NOT WASTE TIME texting and emailing forever, you will find out more in 5 minutes in person than an eternity of texts and emails.

If they cannot talk about or are uncomfortable with talking about sex during this meeting, this is a yellow flag, proceed with caution.

Find out what their limits, rules and expectations are and see if they align with yours.

After the first meeting, talk with your partner and decide if you want to meet them again keeping in mind that they now might not be interested in you.

Don't take it personal if they are not interested at this point.

If everyone is good to go, start planning your next meeting.

No means no, always ask for permission.

It seems like it is always difficult to get things started. Don't be afraid to ask them if it is okay to start taking off your and/or your partners clothes.

Buckle your seat belts and hold on as you see what happens from here...

 

 

[njbm 2,871]

We have a “move” to get the party started. When we invite a couple to our house to play, we start with drinks and snacks. After our chatting has gone on for awhile and we are slightly lubricated (alcohol-wise), we ask if they want to see our map.

 

My sister gave us a magnetic Rand McNally wall map. We put magnets on the places thar we’ve been and we’ve to quite a few places, so we discuss it. Coincidentally, our bedroom is two steps away and it’s a short trip to say would you like to step over here and then one thing leads to another and we’re off to the races.