Swinging with in-laws?

[swingset 15]

My fiance and I were drinking way too much last night and the subject of a threesome came up again. This is something that we have discussed at great length in the past, but never acted upon the fantasy. My fiance has done this several times, I have not.

 

So we are going through the list of potential people that we know, and she says in passing that its a shame my sister-in-law is not into that. Well, my sister-in-law is very much bi-curious, and my brother and her are actively seeking a threesome as well. I told my fiance this. I asked her if a threesome or foursome situation were to arise (no pun intended) if she would be up for it and she said most definitely yes.

 

We want to do this with someone that we both know and trust, and my sister-in-law seems like the perfect candidate. There would of course not be any participation by us brothers, just the girls.

 

My question to the forum is what are the ramifications of this? Are there others here who have done this or something similar? What was the reaction? I am looking for feedback here so we can examine this from all angles before broaching the subject with them.

 

Thanks for the time,

Swingset

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

That is kind of ify.

 

I think I would stay away.

 

The main reason for that is they are family. I understand there is no blood relation here(between the two girls). But you will have to see these people for the rest of your lives and if something goes wrong or does not work out they arent people you can just walk away from.

 

Or if you do walk away from them then you have to go thru your life not speaking to your brother.

[JonnyBlaze 15]

my girlfriends sisters husbend used to sleep with my girlfriends brothers wife. i think everyone was cool with it. i would definetly sleep with her sister, even tho shes 18 years older than us she tells me no chance tho. i would let her sleep with my brother, just he dosent have the right attitude for it. too bad for her, he got the bigger one!

 

you just have to be sure that everyone can handle it afterwards. some people, like my brother, fall in "love" after sleeping with someone. they have to be able to have sex just for fun.

 

JBlaze

[bugaboos 16]

Personally, I agree with Mr. Naughty.. and for those same reasons. Just the what if...things don't turn out the way you'd hope. These are relationships that have years of history..why chance destroying it...but that's just me.

[Brit_Pair 62]

Mr&Mrs-naughty described your proposed scenario as "kind of iffy". I'd echo that. In fact, I'd say that it was "pretty damned iffy". There are enough things that can go wrong with swinging with strangers, let alone with family. Keep these two aspects of your life apart, is my advice.

[b_and_sc 16]

I think this relationship should be considered off limits...you wouldn't want to alienate your brother, would you? I mean even if all went well at the time, down the road it could cause problems...take a HUGE step back and start looking elsewhere (some ideas are meant to stay as fantasies...)

 

b

[OhioCouple 41]

I have to agree with the others. We would be very hesitant to involve a relative in our play time. Strike that...We would not involve a relative in our play time, blood related or not. It is just to risky for our taste. As B and SC said...some things are better left as fantasies, and this is one of them for us.

[swingset 15]

Well, the consensus seems to be to not involve relatives or any type of family members. My better half and I have disected this a million ways and we are very leary of it as well, for many reasons that I won't take the time to delve into here.

 

We were just looking for some affirmation of our fears. While the idea is intriguing, it is probably best left alone, for the sake of us all.

 

Thank you all for the time!

[fun_pairTX 26]

Whenever Mrs Fun and I are faced with deciding on a "new" activity for us, we ask ourselves; "Is this something that would be best left to the folks on the Jerry Springer show?" If the answer is YES, then we pass without pausing to think any further. We feel that in-law swinging would fit the PASS category.

[swingset 15]

Ya know fun_pairTX, that has to be the most lucid example I have heard yet for not in-law swinging! Hell no I don't ever want to be seen as belonging to the Jerry Springer show.

[tazzie_n_truck 17]

That is something we would totaly stay away from, mainly because our in-laws would think we are freaks or something even if they knew we were swingers. But that is our take on it. We would say stay away from swinging with in-laws. Just too much grey area, and too much of a chance for family to find out if you don't want them to find out.

[DandS 15]

Loved the Jerry Springer test idea, gonna have to remember that one!

 

As far as swinging with the inlaws...can't ever imagine that happening. We personally would be to uncomfortable with involving family in our swinging activities.

 

Besideds the fact that I'm not really attracted to any of my in-laws!! LOL

 

Mrs DandS

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

My first girl/girl experience was actually with my sister in law (bros wife) and she also had a threesome with my ex and I. My brother didn't get involved for obvious reasons, that just seemed a bit too over the top I guess.

 

We were all good friends tho, so when my sis in law told me that she had been having fantasies about me, it got me thinking and it wasn't long before we acted on it.

 

That was really the beginning of swinging for them, my hubby and I had already started looking into things (and they knew that) but I hadn't really considered any bi activities until that point. They are still active swingers.

[tazzie_n_truck 17]

Well with Truck he grew up in a very religious family so even the mere thought of swinging is considered very taboo in his family, we figure that if his parents found out they would disown him. But we feel that getting involved with in-law as far as swinging goes, has a very easy chance of opening a can of worms that could lead to trouble. But that is our take on it.

 

[CindyB 20]

Sorry! I have to disagree with most of the people replying. As I already mentioned, my husband and I had a WONDERFUL time with his brother for nearly 2 years (give or take) before he remarried. Maybe our relationship is just special, I don't know. We teased for awhile and then hubby and I had a looooooong conversation. Actually, many looooooong conversations, before we moved from teasing and "soft fun" and moved on to sexual intercourse. It worked for us. We had talked about doing something like this on and off for years but until it occured to us that my brother-in-law was (newly) single we never found anybody we felt safe with. After his divorce it seemed perfect. But maybe it is just us.

[meowkittyhascla 17]

Before I got married, I had a mfm with twin brothers. At the time, it seemed like a very good idea, but after it was over with....all hell broke loose! The brothers began fighting and I was stuck in the middle. The really sad thing is that our friendships ended. So, I don't recommend any family members as potential swing friends.

Another case in point, hubby wanted a fmf and my sister offered, (there was no female contact) and it caused a strain between us. We worked through the "weirdness", but I always thought all this could of been avoided and never again. No family ever!!!!

[CindyB 20]

Well, I understand that. I would tend to think we were more the exception than the rule. My husband and his brother have always been the best of friends. When he got divorced he really got worked over. We were there for him. We never really pre-planned on being there for him THAT way! But as I said, my hubby and I had fantasized like most people do. After awhile we started talking about his brother because we knew he was horny. He had stayed sexually inactive and had not even dated 2 years after his divorce. That's when the teasing started. My husband was the one who initiated it all. I NEVER would have. But after months of teasing and my husband flashing my breasts at him it finally happened. It started with an unplanned flash leading to a handjob. I declined to do more. But it was not long until we found ourselves at the threshhold again. Hubby and I had MANY long talks between the mastrubation incident and this opportunity. We started teasingly playing. Nothing had been preplanned. But within about 30 minutes he and I were having sexual intercourse in our bed while my husband watched. It was all good but it helped that we really KNEW him. This eliminated the fear of disease, etc. And I guess we just trusted that our friendship was strong enough to handle it. He re-married 2 years later. We played regularly ... like he was over OFTEN ... until his marriage. Since then we've abstained. But we have great memories. I am sure we will leave it at that. He's the only time we ever opened our bed to anyone else.

[jcbicouple 24]

Having sex with a sister or brother, even if it's just sex with them in the same room, is just too close to wierd for us.

[cm89 16]

as the sound of dueling banjo's plays in the background...

 

I think involving family members at any level is a little too odd for us...

[CindyB 20]

That is funny. I have always read on this board that swinging is a very open-minded lifestyle. I had come to believe that people here were accepting of others choices. And now I am being called "weird" and "odd" because you do not like the fact that I made love to a man that I am in no way related to by blood? Isn't that a bit hypocritical? If my husband enjoyed watching us and sharing me ... is that not what swinging is about? Please feel free to form your own opinion but I would appreciate your allowing us ours as well without judging us for it.

[WA_Cple 20]

A note from the peanut gallery...

 

I think humans are sort of hard wired to avoid incest-like behavior... part of what makes it fascinating and taboo. I can honestly say that its not for me - even without the blood relation - HOWEVER... hehe there's always that disclaimer... I do find it sexually exciting to fantasize about.

 

I don't think anyone was intentionally flaming or calling names... merely expressing how they personally feel about it.

 

And personally I found the story to be... hmmm... very erotic!

 

As the peanut gallery turns... tune in tomorrow for our next exciting post!

 

Mwa!

[OhioCouple 41]

Actually CindyB, I believe what you experienced is rare, rather than the norm. In our opinion, playing with family or non-lifestyle good friends is a recipe for disaster. All of our lifelong friendships were not built around a sexual relationship and in fact most of our long term friends are business associates, just as all of our family member relationships are built around much deeper things than sex. To risk having something go awry in either, just isn't one that we are willing to take.

 

For myself, I cannot see myself in the same room where sex is occuring with a family member present (blood related or not) . But then that is just me. Hell, I nearly walked in on a family member having sex with his wife last week and that freaked me out. I don't even like to think of them having sex, much less a confirmation that they do. I like to think they have children via emaculate conception. I'm such a prude.

 

MeowKitty's experience is exactly one that we don't want to be involved in the middle of. You can walk away from a lifestyle friend if things go wrong, but you can't walk away from meeting eye-to-eye with a family member at holiday gatherings, lest you dis-associate yourself with the entire family because things went bad with one of them.

[CindyB 20]

Well, I guess what others think is not all that important to me. What IS important is that it worked for us. My husband and his brother never touched and totally freaked at the thought. Trust me, if that had happened I would have walked out of the room, the house, and most certainly the marriage.

 

As it was, they enjoyed pleasing me and that, my friends, was a delight. I did not exactly "card them" at the door. Typically, one would watch while I was with the other. When that one would finish I would make love to the one who had been watching. Occasionally we would do the "3-way thing" where I would give one oral while having intercourse with the other but that was the exception rather than the rule. Most often I would just make love to the two of them consecutively.

 

Worked for us so whoever was playing the banjo will probably wind up just having to play with something else all alone as well.

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

Hey Cindy,

 

I do not think you are weird or odd.

 

I couldnt see us getting others that we are "related" to involved. But hey thats just us.

 

If it worked out for everyone thats all that matters.

 

I would just think there are to many things that could go wrong and its kind of hard to walk away from family. Your experience sounded like it worked out perfect (except for the fact it had to end) and there is nothing wrong with that.

[CindyB 20]

Actually ... just talking about it ... I miss it. There is NOTHING like being that served and satisfied. We did go through the towels quickly though...

[sensualtouch 16]

CindyB, I am in total agreement with you. If your relationship with your husbnd is that strong & it was something that both of you wanted to do, then enjoy it. Your times together were obviously well thought out & wanted by all parties concerned. No one was coerced, all had fun & now have pleasant memories. Isn't that pretty much what a good life is about - having fun & not hurting but caring for others? There was obviouly deep caring & compassion involved &, I believe, pleasure. You can't please everyone. You would go crazy & no longer have your own life if you did try to please everyone. I, for one, like what you & your husband did for his brother.

 

Sensualtouch

[CindyB 20]

Thank you, Sensual. You described it well. It WAS thought out. We talked forever about it. Sometimes the talk was just pillow talk but sometimes we got down to the brass tacks of whether or not we REALLY wanted to take that step. And we decided that we did. And with my brother-in-law it wasn't just "screwing." I mean, I don't love him like I do my husband but I do care very much for the man. It was not at all like "a mercy lay." I hurt for him and what he had gone through. He is an attractive man, my husband encouraged me to go through with it, so why not? We kind of fell somewhere between the "doing it with someone you are crazy in love with" and "doing it for nothing but getting off." I did want to please him and it made me feel good every time I managed to do that. It also made me sore. I must admit that while my husband and I still had many times of lovemaking alone, we pretty much set the bed on fire for a couple of years. Fun times.... good memories.... no regrets. (But I think we'll refrain from telling his wife. The standing joke is that if one of us gets sick and starts deliriously "spilling our guts" the others are obligated to put a pillow over his/her face and do the merciful thing!)

[MrsBliss 18]

CindyB your story sounds very okay to me, especially because all parties were happy with it.

 

Personally, looking around in my own family, I would not want to have sex with any of them. Apart from that I would also be very scared to hurt the family relationship and I would think that there are other people in this world to have sex with.

 

Until I read your post, I was like: iew, not ever. After your post I understand that there could be a situation in which it is not that odd at all.

 

Love

[swingset 15]

There have been a lot of interesting replies here. I talked about this with the little lady this weekend a we decided it was going to have to be a definite no. We actually went out with my brother and his wife this weekend and just watched them interact. You coud tell just from listening to them that it was not going to ever work. They are so jealous and constantly fighting about everything, I could not imagine what something like this would do to them. While some people here have described situations where this has worked for them, definitely not going to work for us. Probably for the best I am sure.