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Jess101

New to this…others too clingy, how to handle?

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Question for you all. We are within our first 6 months to this lifestyle. We have met several people online and switch over to Snapchat or texting to communicate. I know there are several different personalities so answers will vary but how often do you guys chat with new friends? I only ask because we like to play together not separate, we are not in an open relationship and enjoy the find together. We recently started chatting with a new lady who is in an open relationship and she is constantly wanting to communicate with us via Snapchat. I’m starting to think it’s not a good fit cause she is too “clingy”. So I’m just curious has anyone else dealt with this and am I just over thinking things? I don’t want to be rude and be like back off but kinda getting over it with her cause we have a life and family and kids  to give our attention to. Thanks for any help on this 

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My feelings are the same as yours. We are not interested in an open marriage, and the over communication would bother me. We

are looking to play together also. 

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You'll come across people like that.  Sometimes you just have to be honest with them.

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I think what's important here is what is right for you and your relationship. If you don't feel this person is a good fit, for whatever reason, there is nothing wrong with that. Just politely but clearly tell her that it's not going to work and move on. I've found one of the hardest things I've had to get used to in swinging is rejection, receiving it and giving it... but it's got to be done.

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People roll differently. Some men we met wanted to be my wife’s boyfriend. That’s not what we want. The only two options are to tell that person what bothers you or dump them. 
 

We did explain it to one person and it worked. Generally, dumping is more effective. 

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15 hours ago, Lionheart72 said:

If you don't feel this person is a good fit, for whatever reason, there is nothing wrong with that. Just politely but clearly tell her that it's not going to work and move on.

Amen to that.   Even those who now form our poly family didn't become so by being needy or clingy, actually the opposite.  When we were more open to playing we avoided people who seemed too dependent, even though they would have easily become sexual play partners because of it.  The one characteristic we all in our family share is that we are independent and strong willed.  It can make for some interesting dynamics (i.e., arguments), but it is likely the reason we have been successful at this.  It also turns me on no end to see the two toughest people I know and love, Lora and hubby David, making frenetic love.  There's no neediness or clinginess with them and it makes me want them both.  IDK, weird. 

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