Looking for beginner advice

[RideOrDieFun 1]

Me and my gf have been talking about trying this for a long time now. I know she wants too but her jealousy keeps this from every happening. Ive researched this enough to have ensured treating her special, letting things go at her pace and without interference etc.  2 weeks ago she got us kicked out of a strip bar for a dancer even coming near me.

 

Last week she invited a girl over to party with us. We drank for a few hours, her and the other girl spent some time in the jacuzzi, I stayed downstairs to not interfere. Afterwards the 3 of us went to the bar. At some point me and the other girl winded out, out front smoking (right in front of the door and window). Girlfriend comes out and accuses us of fcking in the parking lot and attacks us both. I got hit with everything from a liquor bottle to dvd player as well as her trying to stab me with a steak knife.

 

Im assuming this is a lost cause at this point but figured Id ask for some advice here. 

[couplers 4,614]

Just let her play with other guys, have some MFM fun, and give her time for her attitude to change.  It took two years of me having a boyfriend, alone at first, then occasional MFMs with my husband, before I was able to let my husband fuck another woman.  My jealousy never went away, but being able to choose the woman for him to play with got me over the hump.  Good luck. 

[RideOrDieFun 1]

Couplers thank you but yes Ive offered to let her do that. As uncomfortable as I might be w it, I did realize I needed to be willing to do the same

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Neither of you are ready for this and you should stop immediately. I just posted this in partial response to another question, but it is applicable here as well:

 

As for jealousy: I used to be VERY jealous (anyone that would settle for me can easily find someone better) but what I did figure out is that as long as you have great communication, trust, and love, the jealousy just vanished. For some crazy reason, she thinks that she is lucky to have me (when I'm the lucky one to have her). Sure, you should move forward slowly and never exceed your preset limits and boundaries, but unless there is other underlying issues, jealousy has a hard time living in the bright light of truth and trust.

 

It sounds like she has some of those underlying issues I mentioned. You two do not have the love, trust and communication REQUIRED to be successful with swinging. This is something that you need to start working on, even if you decide that swinging isn't for you. Until you two can talk to about anything and everything to each other, the jealousy will be there. Until you two trust each other completely, the jealously will be there. Jealousy is like rust...it works slowly and where you hardly notice it, but it never stops and eventually it will cause things to fail unless treated.

 

Stop thinking about swinging and work on making your communication as great as can be. As a side effect, this will usually help increase the trust, which in turn will help grow the love, which improves the communication (it becomes a upward spiral instead the slow downward spiral that jealously causes). If you want this relationship to last, you need to start fixing this now before it is too late. Good luck and let us know how things are going.

[NC_Seniors 518]

3 hours ago, RideOrDieFun said:

Girlfriend comes out and accuses us of fcking in the parking lot and attacks us both. I got hit with everything from a liquor bottle to dvd player as well as her trying to stab me with a steak knife. Im assuming this is a lost cause at this point but figured Id ask for some advice here. 

So let me see if I got this right  … you’re planning to stay in a relationship with a woman who hit you with a liquor bottle and tried to stab you with a steak knife, and you want advice on how to get her to *swing* with you? 

[lovefest04 698]

Swinging is a lot about the REDUCTION of DRAMA. You're future looks like nothing but drama.

 

Find a new partner.

 

 

 

[Lionheart72 2,190]

8 hours ago, RideOrDieFun said:

I got hit with everything from a liquor bottle to dvd player as well as her trying to stab me with a steak knife.

Ok, yeah... my completely unhelpful advice here is leave. Leave now. Just leave.

 

That's not acceptable behavior in any kind of relationship. At all. Ever. Period.

[couplers 4,614]

On 9/17/2021 at 8:18 AM, RideOrDieFun said:

As uncomfortable as I might be w it, I did realize I needed to be willing to do the same

More than being "willing," you must actually and unconditionally put her totally first with absolutely no expectations that she will allow you to do anything.  You have to have the mindset that you will enjoy and be satisfied with her achieving great sexual pleasure, better perhaps than she gets from you.  But not to worry, you will get the credit for whatever sexual enjoyment she gets.  Don't be thinking about you being willing to do "the same," even if you get to the point where she is comfortable with you playing (and it should come from her encouraging it, not you suggesting it), you should only do what it is that she wants you to do.  Be generous and loving.

[couplers 4,614]

On 9/17/2021 at 6:04 AM, RideOrDieFun said:

I got hit with everything from a liquor bottle to dvd player

Stop drinking and get a digital streaming service.