Being honest about STD's

[Triumphs 16]

Ok, we've been reading these STD related discussions, and trying to decide what we should do. We know we might be HSV and HPV carriers just like 80-90% of the population. We are not symptomatic and haven't been active outside of our relationship for 10 years, but we are still going to be tested for all other possibilities before we go any further. What bothers me, is that given the number of people that visit this site, there aren't more that admit to being carriers of the more common infections. We couldn't find any couple in our area that doesn't say D/D free.

 

As far as we're concerned, it's the symptoms that are the real turn-off. If we found another couple that is not symptomatic, but is honest that they may have contracted something we already have, we would not have a problem swinging with them. I mean, what's the harm? Hell, we feel that our mutual honesty would help to alleviate our own misgivings, and might help everyone relax.

 

What we're getting at is, we realize there's a negative stigma about having an STD, but if we're all carriers and not symptomatic then why not be honest. Oh sure you can lie just so you can get that tasty virgin couple into bed, but at what cost? I thought we were all beyond the player tactics.

 

I would like to hear from the rest of you about this.

 

Do you feel that if a couple/person is non-symptomatic, but admits that they may have an STD you already have, that you would still be turned off?

 

How many here have been tested recently? We plan on being tested within 3 months of any sexual contact. We don't suspect we'll find anything more, but we'd rather know than spread something.

 

Come on people, most of us should know that the majority of the population has HPV and HSV, so why is it such a threat? In many cases, you don't even have to be sexually active to contract either.

 

Thanks Julie for the site. I don't know if that's you in your avatar, but it reminds me (TriumphGuy) of an old girlfriend.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

What makes you think you might have one of those virus's if you don't have any symptoms? And why would others typically think they did without the symptoms. The general STD tests don't even test for Herpes, and generally unless you are showing symptoms Dr's won't run the blood test. While there is a newer blood test now that can actually determine whether it is oral or genital herpes (the regular one can't tell), even then they aren't likely to run it unless the regular/cheaper one has already tested positive.

 

So I'd like to add a question to your question. Let's assume that most swingers do get tested regularly for STD's (personally I think that is even a big assumption), if you do get tested, what do you get tested for? Do you just have your Dr run the basic STD testing (which typically only checks for chlamydia and (I think it's) syphilis) or do you specifically ask them to test for you everything they possibly can?

[Triumphs 16]

Originally posted by JustAskJulie

What makes you think you might have one of those virus's if you don't have any symptoms? And why would others typically think they did without the symptoms. The general STD tests don't even test for Herpes, and generally unless you are showing symptoms Dr's won't run the blood test. While there is a newer blood test now that can actually determine whether it is oral or genital herpes (the regular one can't tell), even then they aren't likely to run it unless the regular/cheaper one has already tested positive.

 

When we separated in '93, TriumphGirl had a few encounters and developed what we were told was genital warts, and later had abnormal results on her PAP smear. She then had her cervix frozen, the symptoms went away, and she hasn't had any in 10 years. I never had any symptoms.

 

As for the HSV (herpes), we both get cold sores every couple of years or less. This is the most common STD on the planet (>90%), so unless swingers constitute a very unique group, at least about 45% or more should have it.

 

Originally posted by JustAskJulie

So I'd like to add a question to your question. Let's assume that most swingers do get tested regularly for STD's (personally I think that is even a big assumption), if you do get tested, what do you get tested for? Do you just have your Dr run the basic STD testing (which typically only checks for chlamydia and (I think it's) syphilis) or do you specifically ask them to test for you everything they possibly can?

 

That's a good point. There isn't any way to test for HPV and the herpes test is expensive, so we're asking for people to be honest. As someone put it in another thread, it seems to him like it's a nasty little secret in this lifestyle, which we hope others will come forward about. Neither is entirely debilitating, but we understand the obvious turn-off it can be.

 

I (TGuy) feel that what most people are doing, are saying they are D/D free just because 1) they don't know they have HPV or HSV or 2) they choose not to be entirely honest (because of the stigma and they can because they are not symptomatic).

 

I just find it hard to believe that so many people in this lifestyle claim to be D/D free. People don't even need to engage in sex to contract either, so how is it possible for so many to be D/D free.

 

As for the others that can be tested for, we would expect anyone to be honest there as well, and get tested regularly. We might not get intimate with them if they are positive until they are completely cured, but their honesty will go a long way with us.

 

Look folks, we all understand the stigma about having an STD, but you don't have to go running around wearing a shirt that says "I have an STD". What we want is, if you have something, be honest. You never know if the other couple might have the same thing (especially these) and it's not going to hurt one way or the other.

 

Basically what we are saying is, "we'll show you our medical history if you show us yours". Can you all live with that?

[RedRobin 15]

I think there is definitely some merit to your questions and comments, but I don't think people are going to be as straightforward and honest as you would wish because of that very stigma you mention.

 

I've read the statistics, also, and thought the same exact things, but unfortunately, the stigma is part of what has increased the statistics. In other words, because of the stigma attached to STD's, people refuse to admit it and continue to spread the infections.

 

It is much like mental illness and the stigma attached to that. We think nothing of telling people we have pneumonia or a bladder infection or something like that, but we hide our depressions and mental illnesses and often, don't seek treatment for something that could be easily treated. I don't remember right off hand, but the rate of depression is extremely high. With short-term counseling or medication therapy, people could live much happier and more productive lives, but most of us would not want that information in our medical records as it could be used against us at some future date. (Thinking employment)

 

Also, and particularly with married couples, they might be hesitant to go to their family doctors to request STD testing for fear they might have to explain why they are concerned if they are supposed to be living in a monogamous relationship. Then, too, those same medical records go to the insurance company and most of us are insured through our work. Who knows who has access to those records. When you combine that with the cost of getting tested frequently, there are many issues for people to contend with.

 

The other point I want to make is that testing is not proof-positive. There are too many areas for mistakes to be made in the interpretation of the results. Then, too, there is an incubation period for most viruses. I wonder what it would be for those you mentioned? In other words, what would be the time frame between contracting the virus and it showing up on a test?

 

I don't disagree with what you are asking or expecting, but I do think you are asking and expecting more than you will receive from most people. Unfortunately, you are presenting that *perfect world" scenario.

 

Be Happy!

RedRobin

[Mich149 16]

Our profile says D/D free. That is not because we are hiding from or disguising the truth. It is not because we haven't been tested. We aren't and we have been. It's because we, like many others, am not going to put in my profile that we are/may be carriers because we don't know that we are. Neither of us have had genital warts or oral/genital herpes symptoms, therefore we do not need to state that we are carriers.

 

You on the other hand have a clear delineation of where your issue arose. There is a difference. If even once either of us had had an outbreak of ANY disease, we would either leave the lifestyle or amend our profile. Even now, if you wanted to see my medical history before having sex with me I would do that

 

There's a big difference between omission to conceal and omission due to lack of evidence. I'm sure you didn't mean to come off as aggressive as you did and maybe it's just me, but maybe next time you should count to ten before going off.

[RedRobin 15]

Isn't it interesting how we all hear and read the same things, but come to different conclusions about what we heard or read? I was discussing something similar with a dear friend not long ago as we discussed the fact that men are more often color blind than women. We then started discussing what different colors meant to us. In other words, when I say something is yellow, what does that really mean to you? Are we seeing the same shade of yellow? Or are you seeing something I might call green? Police have said that "eye witnesses" often report entirely different things, but all swear that they saw the accident, etc., perfectly. I just find that interesting.

 

Sorry. I said all of that just to say that I didn't find the remarks of the poster aggressive at all and thought they were interesting questions, indeed. I haven't read a huge number of adds, but I also wondered the same thing about everyone reporting themselves as D&D free based upon the statistics I have read about the prevalence of HPV and HSV. Different sources claim different statistics, but I have read anywhere from 70% to 90% of the population have HSV. In this poll, only 2 people out of 20 claim infection and I believe that correlates to about 10% (but please don't trust my math!). If the statistics are accurate, you would expect 14 to 18 of the respondents to report symptoms of infection. (Again, my math is not to be trusted!)

 

What accounts for the difference in the general population vs. the lifestyle population? Are the statistics over reported? Maybe in an effort to market the expensive drugs on the market? Is there an age correlation since it seems that the much, much younger generation has a more open attitude towards sex than some of us did just a few years ago? Are some of these viruses spread in ways not yet discovered? Personally, I'm a big believer in the psychogenic aspects of disease and wonder if our mental state doesn't do more to perpetuate illness than actual exposure to bacterias or viruses. Maybe that aspect alone could prevent the spread of the virus among lifestylers as they are comfortable with sharing their sexuality and don't suffer "guilt feelings" from enjoying one night stands and that sort of thing.

 

I don't know, but I do find the comments and questions of the original poster interesting and believe it gives everyone something to think about. Then, after thinking, and like all things, they have to decide what is best for them.

 

RedRobin

[billandshan 15]

We have Herpes-2 (Genital) and post it in our profile. We also are on the lookout for other STD's which people don't mention they have. We don't care to catch anything else. I'm here to tell you that quite a few people that claim DD free do in fact have Herpes-2 at least. We have been contacted by them. This, to us, is the utmost in deception and dishonesty. To us, HSV is nothing to be ashamed of. I understand that it is to others, but this is a person's health we are talking about, especially with HPV because it is attributed to cervical cancer. MANY are dishonest, and the ONLY way to judge honesty is by the character of the people themselves. We GREATLY reduce the number of messages we receive, but it's better in the long run. Even of the messages we've received, we have yet to actually meet anyone in person. Be careful out there. We would rather someone have an STD and tell us, than to lie. That is why we are specifically looking for women or couples that already have it. It's a lot less stress. But to me, I'd rather have HSV2 than the common cold. An outbreak easier for me to get rid of (a day) and less hassle than a cold (a week). Others have it worse than me though.

[billandshan 15]

Originally posted by RedRobin

What accounts for the difference in the general population vs. the lifestyle population? Are the statistics over reported?

 

I think that the vast majority of people with STD dismiss swinging right off the bat because of it. SO they never pursue it. Or they lie about not having it.

 

BTW. Stress is the trigger for our outbreaks. No stress, no outbreaks. I have one or two per year max, she has maybe 6 per year. But she's more easily stressed out.

[Sadie6969 15]

I voted I have it and I'm honest. Bill and Shannon have inspired me to be completely open honest in the swinging world. I too have to wonder about the statistics of those who voted we don't have anything and expect the same.

 

Two weeks ago I would have voted that way. I have been in a monogamous with my husband for 7 years. I had ONE sexual partner before him. And my regular physicals have never detected anything unusual.

Two weeks ago we went to our 1st lifestyle house party. Two days later I broke out with genital herpes. I contacted the hostess of the party immediately to inform her, and she was shocked and surprised. So either someone at the party had it and didn't know it or didn't tell. Or I already had it, and now I've exposed everyone I came in contact with.

 

I guess I learned the hard way, when it comes to HSV, ignorance is NOT bliss.

[tisha 15]

Well, I'm going to be honest too, My husband has Genital Herpes, He caught it before we got married over 11 years ago. At first, I really was cautious about the risk, so I asked my GYNO to explain all the data to me, and it turns out, that as long as the male isn't blistered, he isn't contagious, but if he is experiencing a break out, he MUST wear a condom to protect his partner... Well I still get tested with my exams, and I'm still negative. For the people who do have it, I can usually tell when my husband is about to break out, his urine will be dark and smelly, his sweat will have a unusual odor, and he is grumpy as all hell...lol

 

He takes Valtrex daily to prevent any future outbreaks, and eats healthy. Another thing to keep in mind, is a female can have the virus and experience NO symptoms. So, if you don't have anything, ask the male to wear a rubber to keep you disease free, and if your into female-female oral, well, either try saran wrap or use your best judgment. The only experience I had with another female, she gave me chlamydia, just from doing oral on her, The next days following, my tongue turned light yellow, and had a funny coating on it, I had to get a shot in the butt, and refrain from sex for 2 weeks! YUCK! But I'm better now DD free... and planning to keep it that way.

 

Hope this helps. Mrs. K

[billandshan 15]

Originally posted by tisha

and it turns out, that as long as the male isn't blistered, he isn't contagious

 

Wishful thinking! Get a second opinion from another doctor. I'm living proof that is false. Married for 11 years, chances are you have it! Get a Western Blot Test and\or a PCR

 

Below applies to both sexes.

 

HerpesFAQ.com

 

Q: Can I spread genital herpes even when I'm not having an outbreak

 

A: The genital herpes virus can still be spread through the skin although there are no visible signs of an outbreak. This is called asymptomatic viral shedding. Up to 70% of people catch genital herpes from an infected partner who has no signs or symptoms. And since the symptoms are not always obvious, nine out of ten people who have genital herpes don't even know they're having an outbreak

[sensuality 2]

This is a very interesting discussion. Especially with regards to HPV. This virus stays with you your entire life...most strains don't even show any symptoms. Some cause warts, while now it has been proven that there are certain strains that are responsible for cervical cancer. Bottom line, since 80-90% of the population are carriers, and there isn't really any way to know unless you've got the strains that cause cancer or warts, there are a lot of people walking around with this virus and may never even know it. It's just like the cold virus, we carry that around in our bodies all our lives, as well. It should also be noted that there isn't any form of protection from HPV, because the virus is in, on, and around the genital areas. Another thought is, that facts about STD's seems to change every so many years. Also, hopefully one day there will be vaccines for all this stuff. In the meantime, all we can do is protect ourselves as best we can...

[HornyMe 15]

OK, I do get cold sores on my mouth. Probably about 2 times a year. It seems it always happens when I get stressed out. Back when I was in H.S. & this happened my Dr. gave me some cream for it & nothing else was said about it. Nothing about an STD was said. So, do I have one? I have never had an abnormal pap smear & when I was tested everything was OK. Now I am real worried. Do I have an STD? If so how come hubby has never had them? Can I pass it to him? Can I give it to my kids?

[TnJ2Play 15]

OK, I do get cold sores on my mouth. Probably about 2 times a year. It seems it always happens when I get stressed out. Back when I was in H.S. & this happened my Dr. gave me some cream for it & nothing else was said about it. Nothing about an STD was said. So, do I have one? I have never had an abnormal pap smear & when I was tested everything was OK. Now I am real worried. Do I have an STD? If so how come hubby has never had them? Can I pass it to him? Can I give it to my kids?

 

Yes, cold sores are herpes. *Usually* caused by Type 1 but sometimes by Type 2. You can give them to your kids or your spouse through kissing and to someone genitally by giving them oral sex.

 

BUT... having oral herpes does not equal having genital herpes. If you get cold sores you most likely won't get the same type in the genital region. But you could get Type 2 if you had sex with someone who has Type 2 genitally.

 

Does that help or just confuse the issue further?

 

J

[TnJ2Play 15]

Especially with regards to HPV. This virus stays with you your entire life...most strains don't even show any symptoms.

 

Bottom line, since 80-90% of the population are carriers, and there isn't really any way to know unless you've got the strains that cause cancer or warts,there are a lot of people walking around with this virus and may never even know it.

 

It's just like the cold virus,we carry that around in our bodies all our lives, as well.It should also be noted that there isn't any form of protection from HPV, because the virus is in, on, and around the genital areas.

 

Same with HSV.

 

Lifelong.

 

Most people who have the virus do not even know that they have ever been exposed.

 

No surefire way to protect from passing it on because the virus can shed in the entire 'boxer shorts' region.

 

And it *IS* contagious even when you have no visible symptoms.

 

 

My thoughts... Unless you have had several negative blood tests for the antibodies, you can't really assume that you don't have it. Especially if you have ever received oral sex from someone who gets cold sores.

 

J

[happy_single_bi 15]

 

So I'd like to add a question to your question. Let's assume that most swingers do get tested regularly for STD's (personally I think that is even a big assumption), if you do get tested, what do you get tested for? Do you just have your Dr run the basic STD testing (which typically only checks for chlamydia and (I think it's) syphilis) or do you specifically ask them to test for you everything they possibly can?

 

I had an ex who was into bi-sexual strippers with herpes... Imagine that! Thank goodness I wasn’t sleeping with him in the end!

 

In fear for my life, I have been tested every month for the past 10 years( the waiting period for the AIDS virus to show up)... waiting ... hoping and thank goodness...I am negative, for everything.

 

I plan to run tests for aids, herpes and gonorrhea... every time I expect to play. I will show up with my “play papers”. I am going to insist on the same.

 

I may be way off here but I have been lied to enough in one lifetime...I am not interested in taking any...and I mean ...any... unnecessary chances.

 

Even with a clean bill of health I will insist on condoms. I want fun not a continuing ongoing battle with a persistent incurable disease.

 

As for lying to get a piece… that is a statement that really concerns me. I am forewarned. Thanks. Sorry but it does make a difference especially if you are lucky enough to really be D and D.

[Dave_kat 227]

Dave here.

 

Just a couple of things I've thought about after reading this one.

 

Supposedly 90% of all people are infected with some form of HSV. OK, so if we've all got it in one form or another, then wouldn't disease free imply "ok, well, we recognize that we're probably carriers, just like the next person, so it's excluded from the list of diseases that we're typically concerned about, as long as it's not one of the versions that actually shows up in warts?

 

Also, this generated a question in my mind. Due to my travels in the Army, I now have antibodies for several things that most won't, including Anthrax, Small Pox, and a few other various diseases. Since I've been "exposed" to versions of those bugs, is that something I should be concerned with during play time?

[happy_single_bi 15]

I now have antibodies for several things that most won't, including Anthrax, Small Pox, and a few other various diseases. Since I've been "exposed" to versions of those bugs, is that something I should be concerned with during play time?

 

No unless you are into bestiality... (Anthrax and cows right )

 

Sorry couldn't resist the cow joke... it is a slow day at the office

 

Actually you should be counting your lucky stars that your immunity out ranks the average civilian.

 

Happy

[Dave_kat 227]

lmao...don't I wish. Until you've had the line up in files and go through the air injectors or dealt with an arm you can't move because the shot makes the muscle lock up for a week?

[TnJ2Play 15]

Dave here.

 

Supposedly 90% of all people are infected with some form of HSV. OK, so if we've all got it in one form or another, then wouldn't disease free imply "ok, well, we recognize that we're probably carriers, just like the next person, so it's excluded from the list of diseases that we're typically concerned about, as long as it's not one of the versions that actually shows up in warts?

 

I just wanted to clarify something here. HPV is responsible for warts; HSV is herpes. Two different incurables.

 

J

[imsnowman 34]

This is information taken from herpes advisory websites. Drawn your own conclusions but some of the posts in this thread appear to be incorrect.

 

Mere contact with an infected person will not cause you to "catch" it. You must have skin-to-skin contact with an infected person's outbreak site to "catch" herpes. Participating in oral sex with someone who has a common cold sore can result in a genital herpes type I infection.

As far as herpes II specifically: (All numbers approximate but close) 25% of the adult population has herpes. 3 in 12 persons one might meet at a club will have it. Of those 3, 2 won't even know it. A percentage of the individuals who do know will not acknowledge it. In any case, 1 of every 6 potential club partners will have herpes and not know it.

 

The following are some quotes from various papers I found on the Net:

 

Asymptomatic shedding (i.e. no sore present but viral shedding at the outbreak site) is most likely to occur in the week before or after a recurrence.

 

Taking daily antiviral medication reduces the frequency of episodes of viral shedding. This may be particularly helpful when you first get the herpes virus, as viral shedding is more frequent in the earlier days.

 

Asymptomatic shedding occurs more frequently in the first few years after primary genital herpes and declines with time. Herpes simplex type 1(cold sore herpes which about 90% of the entire population has), which causes an increasing proportion of genital HSV infections, is less frequently shed than is HSV type 2. The rate of shedding among men is similar to that of women. There is a positive correlation between symptomatic and asymptomatic reactivation: persons with frequent recurrences also have more asymptomatic shedding.

A recent study has begun to answer the question of whether a genital herpes patient taking a daily dose of an antiviral drug can lower the risk of transmitting HSV-2 to an uninfected partner. Three antiviral drugs are approved to treat or suppress outbreaks of genital herpes: acyclovir, famciclovir and valacyclovir. Most clinically apparent outbreaks can be prevented by taking one of these drugs daily. In addition, daily acyclovir reduces asymptomatic viral shedding by 95%.

 

Auto-inoculation: An infected individual can spread the virus to other parts of his or her body by touching an area shedding virus and then touching, scratching, or rubbing another susceptible part of the body.

 

Dr. Sherzer, an MD who gives lectures at LifeStyle conventions seems comfortable with using a NewSkin type barrier over the active sites and continuing to play!

 

How does this apply to the average couple who know they have herpes and those who'd like to play with them? Folks who are some years removed from their initial outbreak and who have been on a daily antiviral suppression regime since then are very unlikely to be asymptomatically shedding. They will know where their outbreak sites are, how long it has been since the last outbreak and any who play with them will be able to make an informed decision as to whether it is possible to avoid the sites. Standard safe sex practices (condoms/dental dams) can protect you from herpes if they cover the sites.

[Candy&Cane 16]

Can somebody give me a link to these statistics? Cause a lot that has been said here is totally new for me...

 

I've asked to be tested before I slept with my bf for the first time... for herpes, hepatitis, chlamydia, HIV (did I miss something? Think I did) anyway, I've asked to be tested on all std's). Everything came out negative thank god... But nothing was said about being a carrier???

 

I've had some troubles with PAP (is that how you call it) but it was just irritation (can be even caused by synthetic underwear); it has been checked and it was just a little 'fungus-infection' (don't know how to call it in English sorry; but it is caused by an imbalance of the vaginal 'flora' ) which is VERY common among women...

 

Couples we know that swing get tested nearly every 4 to 6 months. As soon as we're actively involved in swinging we will too, no doubt about it!

[northindycpl 32]

Candy... you had a yeast infection, BTW...

 

A couple at a club was discussing a similar topic. She said she had gotten a genital wart when she was in high school. She said that she was having a very difficult, painful urination, so she went to the DR and he gave her antibiotic, and removed the wart. She said that she has never had anything (warts/breakouts) since.

 

Question? Does anyone with genital warts have herpes? I am confused by the posts. Lets say you had a genital wart 10 years ago. Went to the DR, took medicine, it disappeared and you have never had anything like that happen again, does that mean you are a carrier? So if you have had a wart does that mean that you have herpes, even if you don't break out?

 

I thought that chlamydia caused warts? Is that true?

 

Can you get herpes from playing at a club? Like if you sat on a seat after a carrier sat there?

 

Wow... so much to think about!

[Candy&Cane 16]

Hahaha thanks; that sounds less yuk!!

 

I've the same question too... I don't really get it.

[imsnowman 34]

Candy... you had a yeast infection, BTW...

 

A couple at a club was discussing a similar topic. She said she had gotten a genital wart when she was in high school. She said that she was having a very difficult, painful urination, so she went to the DR and he gave her antibiotic, and removed the wart. She said that she has never had anything (warts/breakouts) since.

 

Question? Does anyone with genital warts have herpes? I am confused by the posts. Lets say you had a genital wart 10 years ago. Went to the DR, took medicine, it disappeared and you have never had anything like that happen again, does that mean you are a carrier? So if you have had a wart does that mean that you have herpes, even if you don't break out?

 

I thought that chlamydia caused warts? Is that true?

 

Can you get herpes from playing at a club? Like if you sat on a seat after a carrier sat there?

 

Wow... so much to think about!

 

chlamydia doesn't cause warts. One of the many varieties of HPV (human papillomavirus) cause warts, genital or otherwise. You don't get herpes from warts. They are two separate diseases.

 

As noted in my post two above yours you get herpes only after skin-to-skin contact with an HSV, HSV1 or HSV2 shedding sore.

 

The best thing to do to allay your fears is to do a google search of Herpes and HPV.

[northindycpl 32]

I went to a website herpes.com and there is a lot of great information. The website indicated that if someone with a breakout, shed onto a towel it could be passed to other through the towel. The site also stated that studies are being performed to see how long the virus can live outside the body. (i.e. if it is possible to be transmitted through toilet seats)

 

Gosh...there is so much to worry about! So many things to be aware of!

[imsnowman 34]

can somebody give me a link to these statistics? Cause a lot that has been said here is totally new for me...

SNIP

 

I collected this information from many different websites. I did not keep the specific URL's. However, I just did a simple Google search for HPV and HSV or herpes and came up with more info then I could review tonight.

 

Try doing your own search to reassure yourself.

 

We've decided that safe sex (condoms and dams) adequately protects us even when involved with infected partners if the other conditions outlined in my post Dec 31 are meet. We don't use others towels.

[Candy&Cane 16]

I will... but I thought you all were talking about specific new research data or something

[imsnowman 34]

Nope, unfortunately, since herpes is not life-threatening and doesn't cost the economy a lot there is not a lot of money for new research. Also, it's life cycle is difficult to interrupt.

[rduelist 15]

Note from all of the above that a significant percentage of the people who have HSV-2, which is what we are really worried about, are not lying, they simply don't know. We have it and it is always up front in our profile. But I have not had an outbreak for years, and my wife takes drugs only once or twice a year for her outbreaks. In many ways it is an exceptionally mild disease, although like all incurable diseases there is a stigma. Some people do have bad outbreaks, but that seems to be rare. Will you be exposed? If you have more than 1 or 2 encounters, the odds are incredibly high that you have been. Remember, as the old saying goes, you are not only sleeping with another couple, but with everyone they have ever slept with as well.

 

So take care, use condoms, as questions, and for heaven's sake be honest. The lady who came down with herpes after her first party is probably not an exception. (note that most people at that party were exposed as well. Do you think that the hosts called them up and told them? Riiiight)

[Guest smileytattoo]

I already posted what I know about Herpes in the Thread/STD HERPES. I just had to share this one little thing to try to lighten it up in here....

My brother one time said his eyes were itching something horrible. My mom sent him to the family doctor. He came back very sheepishly and told my mom that he had Crabs in his eyes and on his eyebrows!!! The doctor gave him some meds for it.

[Thron&Thor 117]

Basically everyone has been exposed to HPV and HSV who engages in physical sex, so the poll results of 80% "No, we have neither, and expect the same" are just the indication of not being informed. The medical study numbers say the opposite that ~80% of all sexually active humans have been or are currently infected with HPV & HSV whether they know it or not.

 

This is an activity of human life...being infected with bugs, viruses and bacteria and will always be...just depend upon the health of your immune system and medical treatment to clear the invaders from your body, otherwise...condoms are not a realistic protection either...the condom just helps to reduce the numbers if you are a very infrequent "ho". Over time and occurrence it is a done deal that you are exposed. Many a recently virginal girl is being treated right for both HPV & HSV, and surprised at the fact she was infected the very first time she had sex with her lover.

 

So consider if you know you are infected about others well being, but remember you are not "violating" virgins on their wedding night...you are engaging in party sex with already exposed couples. Make your choice or go to a desert island.