Would you swing with a couple that has a huge age gap?

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

The thread, I'm here with my mom brought up some interesting questions on age differences.

 

More often than not we think little of an older man with a younger woman, but people seem to find an older woman with a younger man to be more of a taboo for some reason. Why is that?

 

Would you swing with a couple who have a major difference (say 10 years or more) in ages? Would it make a difference if it's an older woman/younger man vs. an older man/younger woman?

[RedRobin 15]

I voted for sure, no problem, but it would depend on the people. I've known some younger people that were really old and some old people that were really young. The person/people would be the deciding factor for me. Not just a number.

[sexypairca 41]

I voted for sure, no problem. Most of our swing couples tend to be older, up to 15+ years. Some of our friends are younger and we are trying to meet a variety of people, not based on age. I had real issues with guys under 30 (just a flat out immature impression) but gradually this is changing, depending on the guy of course.

 

Annette

[NightGoddess 16]

Someone once said,

"People just look down on younger men and older women, but you put a younger woman with an older man and its ok."

 

It seems to be true there is a stigma attached to age differences between an older woman and a younger man. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but when there's an age-gap of 10 or more years, one gets funny looks. I wonder why that is, and what couples have done to get over the discomfort. Any voices of experience out there?

 

Thanks, interesting poll, Julie!

[b_and_sc 16]

I voted 'sure' as well, but like everyone else, it sure would depend on the people. I've met some very mature 'youngins' and some really childish older people too.

 

I don't have a problem with an older woman with a younger man...I always think 'way to go mama!!' when I see that!!!!

[Brit_Pair 62]

Yep, can't imagine how it would make a difference to us. There are more important things to judge potential playmates on IOHO.

[fun_pairTX 26]

There is almost 10 years difference between Mrs Fun (50 & 40) and I, but it hasn't seemed to hinder us at all. We have played with folks both older and younger. The only elimination we base on age is when the other couple is down around the ages of our kids, (early 20's), that is just a tad too weird for even us LOL. But we have played with some in the mid 20's and had a great time.

[yawanna 17]

when the guy is 45 and the woman 21....

 

I almost always think what is wrong with them. Sorry. I do.

 

My first husband was/is older than me.. I remember people meeting me first.. then him...and saying to him "I was just telling your daughter here...."

[funforall 25]

For missus and I there is a 12 year difference.

 

When people meet us they say "you go girl!", and wonder what her secret is to keeping a young guy like myself. LOL

 

In her first marriage she was the younger half by at least 10 years.

 

I love older women and find it harder to keep up with her than the girls my own age of 31. LOL

 

We are new to the whole swing scene and looking forward to our first encounter. Through the help and guidance of this site we are sure it will go well. Thanks all

[OhioCplLooking 15]

well, heck, yeah.,.. LOL I am 13 yrs older than my partner & he loves how passionate & fun-loving i am. Dont exclude yourselves from some great friends & lovers by being anti-age.

[SluttyWife 17]

Sir Mike and I are a "May/December" couple!

 

I'm 32 to his 54. That's 22 years!

 

And yes there are times that we get glares of disapproval, but often from "vanilla folks" or younger men in their 20's. Nothing suspicious about our pairing. We are genuinely into each other and it really shows. Once people take an interest in getting to know us...they can clearly see what makes this work so beautifully.

 

And it's been going on for a few years now. When I was in my 20's I used to cast my judgement on couples like us...thinking it was a midlife crisis or something.

 

The tables have surely turned now.

 

I feel the same way about the older woman/younger man relationship model. They compliment each other in a very wonderful way sexually and otherwise.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Do you feel that there is a certain age at which it becomes ok? Whereas perhaps when the younger partner is under a certain age it is more looked at as "cradle robbing"?

 

Is 50 and 30 better than 40 and 20?

[good times 991]

sure, no problem. For us we have only one criteria, if we each find the other couple attractive and compatable we will play. If either one of us doesen't click with the other couple we don't . Age is not a consideration for us.

 

But as for the Mom Son thing, we pass, sorry we're not going there.

[Sadie6969 15]

I have no concept of age. That might be because I'm on the younger side of the scale (27 here) and just clueless. Most of my friends are older (15+) so it seems only natural that I would find the older couples to swing with.

Of course, it's not that I seek out older couples. It usually works out that we meet a couple, we hit it off.....they happen to be older, which of course I don't figure/find out till after we've been talking a while. And if it doesn't bother them, it does not bother me!

 

Julie - I would say that 20-40 is a big difference between 30-50. That's only because of the 20 side of things. When you're 20, you've only been out of high school a couple years and probably still in college. You more than likely have never been married, nor do you have kids. All of these things I think "mature" a person.

 

Take me for example, I'm only 27...but I got married when I was 21 and have been for 5 1/2 years. Most people think I am 30-35 when they talk to me, and I attribute this to my years of marriage and commitment. Having to think of someone other than myself for a few years......

 

I have a friend, same age as me-never been married, and all of our "older" friends will complain to me about how immature she is. Funny, huh?

I just do not see how a 20 year old would have enough life experience to be able to handle a relationship with a 40 year old who has. Of course there are exceptions to every rule...

[Vjklander 138]

We don't care about age at all. I'd do Raquel Welch right now. And MrsVjk has a thing for Sean Connery

And we've both done 20somethings.

[oriel 15]

Interesting that an option about younger partners was omitted. That is, the Maybe options dealt with reservations about older people. Is it just assumed that everyone wants to play with younger people?

 

For the record, I voted Sure but I am actually not at all interested in meeting younger people. I could give some weak rationalization about older people being easier to get on with or less complicated but the truth is simpler - I just love older women :-)

[NightGoddess 16]

Originally posted by oriel

Interesting that an option about younger partners was omitted. That is, the Maybe options dealt with reservations about older people. Is it just assumed that everyone wants to play with younger people?

 

For the record, I voted Sure but I am actually not at all interested in meeting younger people. I could give some weak rationalization about older people being easier to get on with or less complicated but the truth is simpler - I just love older women :-)

 

Oriel, maybe I am 'reading into' the topic, but the option about younger partners IS INDEED part of the topic! It is NOT assumed that everyone wants to play with younger people. At least those are the results I'm seeing both on the poll, and as far as the comments are concerned.

 

Now that you've got the attention of all the -ahem- mature women on the board....(and that includes me!) would please tell us what it is you find attractive about mature women? American culture seems to disregard us, or lump us into two categories: PMS-Prone or Post-Menopausal. How refreshing it is to discover that we have attributes that don't get much media attention

Thank you!

So......Tell us more!

[OhioCouple 40]

Originally posted by JustAskJulie

Is 50 and 30 better than 40 and 20?

Interesting question. I do believe there is a difference. The majority of male or females in their early 20's have yet to have had much life experience. A 20 year old can't legally drink, may or may not have decided on the direction their life is taking regarding education or careers. Newly separated from their parental purse strings or still riding on them. Whereas by the time they reach their upper 20's most of those issues have been experienced or determined and they have a clearer vision of their own goals in life as an individual.

 

I think the age gap narrorws and becomes fairly un-important when you reach the 30-ish age, for either gender. I have no issues with an older woman and a younger man, however like Oriel (in reverse) I'm not generally attracted to younger men. There is something about the graying features, the weather worn lines and their ability to have matured into excellent lovers that are appealing to me.

 

I may consider younger men handsome, but older men are just "Va-Va-Va-Boom Baby"!!

[Roxysbayou 20]

I have less of a problem with couples that are ten years older than me than I do those ten years younger. A big part of it is just as Mrs O mentioned, the lack of experience, and to me maturity. Plus I just feel like I'm doing something wrong, like they are just way to young to be thinking that way about, lol.

[Spoomonkey 420]

Age isn't a bother as long as it isn't the only thing that is noticeable about a person. I am attracted to older women and Mrs Spoomonkey likes younger men - so a perfect night would be spent juggling age anyway.

 

In fact, except in my "randy" teenage years, I've only slept with one woman younger than me. Which is fine... At least until all the women older than me pass on... At which point I may have a problem

[new2swinging200 15]

Hey all,

My husband and I have 14 wonderful years between us. He is older then I am. I am 26 and he is 40. I told him that it is good that he got to grow up a little bit before he met me...LOL

 

I find that age is not an issue for sex or love. But that is only my opinion. My first husband was only one year older then I was and we fought the whole time. Not saying that this happens a lot, it was just what happened in my case.

 

We just got into this conversation at work about loving someone older or lots younger then you or loving the same sex. I am probably the most open person that you could find as far as this subject goes. I believe that love isn't a choice it just happens! I mean really, could you decide not to love your s/o or spouse and then just move on? Probably not! If so something is wrong. Anyway kind of got off the subject!

 

So in my opinion...any age over 18 is perfect for me!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Quote

Originally posted by oriel

Interesting that an option about younger partners was omitted. That is, the Maybe options dealt with reservations about older people. Is it just assumed that everyone wants to play with younger people?

 

For the record, I voted Sure but I am actually not at all interested in meeting younger people. I could give some weak rationalization about older people being easier to get on with or less complicated but the truth is simpler - I just love older women ?

 

Perhaps I wasn't clear on the poll question. By which partner is older I meant which partner in the couple.... not one or the other being younger than YOU (the party interested in playing with them).

 

Basically the topic is about couples with a major age difference between the two of them (not about you being a couple 10 years older or younger than the other couple).

 

Hope that helps clear that up.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Quote

Originally posted by OhioCouple

I think the age gap narrows and becomes fairly unimportant when you reach the 30-ish age, for either gender. I have no issues with an older woman and a younger man, however like Oriel (in reverse) I'm not generally attracted to younger men. There is something about the graying features, the weather worn lines and their ability to have matured into excellent lovers that are appealing to me.

 

I may consider younger men handsome, but older men are just "Va-Va-Va-Boom Baby"!!

 

Mrs.O, as someone who is in a relationship where there is a large age gap between you and your husband. Have you found that others have any issues with playing with you because of it? Do you think there would be more issues if the age difference were reversed (you being the older woman, and he the younger man)?

[sensualtouch 16]

One of the best, on-going "sex friend" relationships I have enjoyed had a 21 years difference. She was 65 & I was 44. The sex was fantastic! We were also compatible nonsexually & really enjoyed each others company. That opened my eyes to the effect that age differences can be just that - an age diffference: no differences in likes & dislikes - including sex. Now, my role is somewhat reversed - I am 62 & my sex partners are in their 30's & 40's. Why are my partners usually younger than me? Because the women I meet at parties & clubs are usually younger. Would I like a partner my age? In a heartbeat! Compatibility, to me, is the most important influence on who I want as my "sex friend".

[RedRobin 15]

Julie, you've clarified your question and if I understand correctly, you are asking if the couple in question had an age difference between them, i.e., he is 50, she is 35...would I still play with them. Correct?

 

And my answer remains the same. Sure, no problem, but it would depend on the people involved. If I liked them both, had something in common with them both, and was attracted to them both - sure. Their age difference would not matter to me. All of those factors have to come into play (no pun intended) before age is even a consideration.

[NightGoddess 16]

I had to resurrect this topic because I heard something the other day: my darling has a friend who asked him "How is Mom?" ---> meaning me. We have 14 years between us; I'm the 'older woman'.

 

I was horrified and embarrassed.

 

I'm not old enough to be his mother, but clearly something about our age difference bothers his friend.

 

Can anyone add some perspective so I can get over my sadness about this comment?

 

I've been in this relationship now for about 7 months and he is the most wonderful man I've ever known. He says he has no problem with our age differences. But I cringe a bit when I detect a reaction from people.

[BodyScape02 21]

Nightgoddess, let’s face it, some people can be just plain insensitive. I’ll bet my last dollar that this comment was meant as a “joke” with no consideration as to how it would make you feel. Enjoy your relationship and forget about what some numbskull said. It’s really not important; it is how your man feels about you that is.

 

As for me, personally, I have always loved older women. My first lover was 10 years older than I. It was quite an experience for a 16 year old boy. Of course, my mother wasn’t too thrilled when she found us out…but that is another story!

 

My sweetie, Cat, is older than I and I love her!

[curcpl_2004 16]

We would have to agree with Red Robin. It is definitely the people and not the age that is important to us.

[TxCouple98 15]

We have 30 years age diff between us....and a lot of people in general have a hard time getting over it. I am the younger female....which i guess some might agree with a little easier than the other way around. At the same time, people assume a lot of things about me and our relationship before they get to know us. As for how this age diff with affect swinging, we are not sure. We are very new to all of this, so have no experience to speak of in that area. Would hope that couples would want to get to know us for us and not our ages.

 

[viper31631 15]

Age is just a number, that should not limit anything

[Rett 15]

It's the personality of the people that matters.

 

As to an older woman with a younger man, physiologically it makes sense. The male has less of a life span - meaning a couple where the male is younger would be better matched as to the remainder of their life span.

 

I do think, however, at the younger ages the woman matures earlier than their male counterparts. At 20 or 25 years of age the male "may not" be as ready to settle into a steady and committed relationship as the female (nothing to do with swinging).

[Alura 2,773]

Quote

 

I had to resurrect this topic because I heard something the other day: my darling has a friend who asked him "How is Mom?" ---> meaning me. We have 14 years between us; I'm the 'older woman'.

I was horrified and embarrassed.

 

 

There's almost sixteen years difference between Mrs. Alura and myself, Night Goddess. You'd probably not be surprised how many times people have referred to her as my daughter. Most often the people making the remark were older men. I think they were, for the most part, jealous.

 

Thoughtlessness can bring people to say some very cruel, not to mention stupid, things. In any case, your relationship with your man is important only to y'all, noone else. If someone else doesn't like it, fuck 'em... or, as my late business partner, Suze, used to say, "Don't fuck 'em, ignore 'em!"

 

I have no idea what you look like, but I can tell from your posts you are a beautiful woman. Your fellow is a very lucky man, and don't you forget it!

[Spoomonkey 420]

NightGoddess said:

We have 14 years between us; I'm the 'older woman'.

 

There are 12.5 years between us. She is gorgeous and doesn't look older than me at all. We've never had anyone say anything derogatory about our age difference. We talked about it before we married and there are certainly times when we have to talk about it now. But we are so obviously meant to be together that whatever age issues there are, it doesn't change fate.

 

We've been lucky not to run into people so incredibly insensitive and we are sorry that it happened to you.

[HotCoupleGnS 21]

Since this topic was brough back up I voted Sure, No problem. Hubby & I have an age difference. He is 30 (turned 30 today! ) & I am 22. I have always been a whole lot more mature than people my age. So when you meet us you would never know that there as an age difference.

 

Although I will say that there is something weird to me about a 20 something year old girl with a 50 year old man. We had one write us the other day. He was an airline pilot & all she did was spend his money. I am sure that not all of them are like that, but the ones that are....................

[NightGoddess 16]

Thanks for the positive input, everyone!

 

I never knew there could be such a negative social reaction to, or judgment made about older women and younger men.

 

My dearest has assured me he has no problem with our age difference....and says I don't look my age at all. I feel blessed to have a loving, wise, caring and devoted man in my life.

 

You are right, that's all that matters...

[mwsw4ever 15]

One of my first experiences was when the Mrs. set me up for a MFM 3some with some friends of ours.I was 27 and she was 47.She was the oldest woman i had ever been with and it was great. facelick .I think she liked it more than i did. .So no problems with age difference here.

[Mistral Wind 54]

Sean Connery Now there is a man that hundreds of women of all ages lust after. I think he is fab and old enouhg to be my dad, but I would not kick him out of bed!

 

We don't have a problem with age differences, one couple we do swing with are she 42 and he is 60, he is a web developer with a mental age of about 19 and she is more grown up, both fun loving lunatics that get the most out of life, that is why we score with them.

 

It is what the people are like not their ages that really matter.

[zebrahead7557 15]

It depends. I'm 29 & I have no problem with someone that's 10 years older, just as long as they don't look like my parents, no offense to anyone. My husband is 47 but looks 35, we both take good care of ourselves. Most of the couples we have played with were 30 to 40-something in age. Although personality is key, I have to be physically attracted to someone in order to become highly aroused & I have to be highly aroused to have sex. Just being honest.

[cumply21 16]

It totally depends on a person's personality and not their age. I am 29 and my husband is 31. We have played with people ranging in age of 22 up to 52.

 

In fact, in one couple, the woman was 22 and the man was 51. Interesting to say the least. But it works for them, so I'm happy for them.

[F16AV8R 18]

Hubby likes to see me with the younger guys. I personally would not have a problem with a man 10 to 15 years older but have to admit I do enjoy a twenty-something guys who want to prove themselves. Our last experience with a 23 year old was simply awesome! He was handsome, oh so fit and full of stamina! Hubby took a break to watch but our young stud kept pounding away Our one experience with an older guy was awesome too for me though. He took his time and was so concerned for my satisfaction. He asked lots of questions and made sure I was feeling good. Hubby didn't have as much fun, but it was still enjoyable.

[ranchcouple3 15]

I guess we agree with the majority, in saying "sure", but would like to add we tend to base or judgement on individuals,and not on people in general.

[wewannano 15]

Do you feel that there is a certain age at which it becomes ok? Whereas perhaps when the younger partner is under a certain age it is more looked at as "cradle robbing"?

 

Is 50 and 30 better than 40 and 20?

 

I think it does make a difference, like the difference between a 12 year old and a 15 year old, it is only 3 years, but parents would be upset. I think there are certain ages when even a year makes a difference and that after a certain point the age stops mattering. When I meet my husband and we got married our 5 years age difference really made a huge difference, because I was only 20 and still in college, and he was 25 and finished with school. Experience makes a huge difference. Now its been 4 years and I don't feel like we have much of an age difference anymore. I guess I grew up !

[ronkaren 18]

I've gone the 45-late 20's route with several guys, and it was fabulous. Guys in their late 20's and early 30s seem to like the idea of taking an older established woman. They also know that we aren't going to play games, don't care about their money because we are financially secure, and we really appreciate a hard cock 3 or 4 times a night that can cum a quart. What others think is irrelevant. I stay fit, work out, while a lot of others M&F let them selves go - gaining 20 extra pounds, and letting the rest turn to flab. If you don't want to look rediculous with a younger M or F, start getting your flabby bod in shape and look and feel 10 years younger. You will also be a better fuck.

[traceywitney 15]

I also voted Sure. Because I’m 26 and 1 of my playmates is 43 and an other 1 is 33.

 

However I find most men my age are a bit on the immature side. In saying that, if I ever found 1 my age who was mature enough and if I was attracted to him I wouldn’t say no.

 

I also have no problems with the younger man/older woman. I used to about 5 years ago, but thank God, that has changed.

 

As for 20/40 verses 3050, I think the latter is more mature, but if anyone is comfortable with the former, I won’t be the one to judge them.

 

Maria

[HotMoCpl 20]

Julie, this is so funny, because recently I admitted one of my sins to my wife tha happened a couple of years before we got married. When I was 37 years old I had to go away for a week to attend a military course. After course one evening I was at a local bar and picked up a cute blond....she was 65 years old, but she was H-O-T! I also told her that I wouldn't touch a woman unless she was at least 45 years old. I hate having to keep trainig them!

[Greg & Sheryl 368]

We're not sure how we initially overlooked this thread, considering that we are one of those couples that has a 10+ year age difference. We would not have any problem swinging with another couple who fit that same profile, especially if the woman was the older partner.

[JacobSky 17]

I am 24 and it turns me on to have sex with a 30-40+ woman very much. So far, I was with a 41 year old woman for her birthday while her husband watched.

[Mr. Mac 15]

I don't know that age matters with us much either...now MOSES is pushing it, but I am 29 and she is 26.

 

We are close, but I like Maureen O'hara in the 60's and now...and she likes Sean Connery.

 

Go figure

[ratimadan 75]

We have no problem with age or age difference as far as the couples we will swing with. The key question we ask is whether or not they are sexually and socially compatible with us so that we can enjoy playing with, swapping mates and doing intercourse with each other's spouse or mate.

[Pepper & Drew 384]

An age difference wouldn't be a problem, as long as the space between their ages wasn't wide enough to drive a truck through. We know a couple that has an obvious age difference: she's mid-40's (I guess) and he's 683...give or take a year...

 

Seriously, the difference in their ages is significant enough that I imagine they have a difficult time meeting couples that would be interested in both of them. And, while he's really not all that old (I've played with guys that are within 10 years of his age), perceived age is a lot more important than your actual age. You can be 60 and not old, or you can be 50 and be really old.

 

Pepper