Is kissing a big deal?

[HotCoupleGnS 21]

Have a quick question. Its about kissing. Is kissing a big deal for most swingers? I mean I like kissing, don't get me wrong. But I kind of look at it like something I want to save to do with my Mr. We are pretty new to all this. (Have done a mfmf & mfm.) But I was never big on kissing the other people. A little is ok, but not like heavy making out. Does anyone else feel this way? Or am I the only one? Just curious.

[Spoomonkey 421]

You're not the only one who feels this way. We like kissing - and enjoy our adventures more when their are no restrictions placed on kissing. However, we have wonderful friends who either don't kiss at all or kiss very little (like you describe). We respect their boundaries and wouldn't dream of asking them to cross them just for us.

 

Nope - you're normal

 

Spoomonkey

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

We are kissers. Iit doesnt bother us. Kissing is the first step to foreplay wich is the first step to sex.

[biglickcpl 15]

Both Here

 

We enjoy kissing, and do agree that it is really the start of foreplay. We don't really have a set rule that we can't deeply make out with others, it just always seems that we enjoy more playful kissing with others!

 

 

 

 

 

 

On a scale of 1 to 10: A 12 is a 10 that can suck a golf ball thru a garden hose!!!

[Weezie 16]

What do you do if you don't kiss? I think that would feel really funny, not kissing someone I'm intimate with. Kissing is fun! It's one of my stonger areas.

[yawanna 17]

Some couples want to keep kissing as something special for just themselves. A 'no kissing' boundary is not uncommon

[meowkittyhascla 17]

We do kiss, but I notice that I don't kiss the male playmates as I kiss hubby. I actually find kissing the females more passionate than the males, unless it is hubby I am kissing. Any other ladies feel this way?

[kandjboyntonbch 15]

We've had no practicle experience, but we're very 'go with the flow' sorta people. We've spoken to couples who have actually been like 'If you don't kiss then forget you've ever talked to us', so we know how important it is to some people.

 

In this lifestyle, many people attribute a kiss to a more 'love' feeling than a sexual feeling. It all depends on how you approach it. Many people I am sure remember the famous movie (it escapes me at the moment) that has the prositute that won't kiss. I've notice that the reverse is often asked for and/or required by those in the lifestyle - the necessity of it makes it more 'meaningful' in the minds to some.

 

For others, it's the reverse and they feel it cheapens the intimacy they share with their partner alone.

 

::shrug:: To each their own.

[MrsBliss 18]

I like kissing!!! It gets me in the mood and when I am 'busy' it takes me to a higher level, like I am getting a little bit more unconscious of what I am doing (seventh heaven??).

 

I am the kind of person which thinks a lot while I am doing just one or two things at a time. Give me three things to do and I will get wild.

 

I would never cross anyone's boundaries and it would certainly not stop me from meeting you.

 

Kiss! (oops sorry)

[Brit_Pair 62]

Originally posted by kandjboyntonbch

Many people I am sure remember the famous movie (it escapes me at the moment) that has the prositute that won't kiss.

Pretty Woman?

[CB_n_Red 16]

This is something we were talking about the other day. Red says that kissing a potential playmate is the best way for her to find out if there is a spark. We couldn't imagine playing without kissing, though I know it's a no-no for some.

 

CB

[HotCoupleGnS 21]

Quote: **In this lifestyle, many people attribute a kiss to a more 'love' feeling than a sexual feeling. It all depends on how you approach it. Many people I am sure remember the famous movie (it escapes me at the moment) that has the prositute that won't kiss. I've notice that the reverse is often asked for and/or required by those in the lifestyle - the necessity of it makes it more 'meaningful' in the minds to some.**

 

 

If people attribute a kiss to a more loving feeling, than why would you want to do that with your sex partners? I don't love them. I also don't think sex with those partners should be that meaningful. I said this in a nother post, please don't anyone take it the wrong way. But the reason we got into this was to spice up our sex lief & add some variety. So we look at other people I guess you could say like another sex toy in a way. We only look at them that way for "play." We can still be friends out of the bed. But this way there is no emotional involvment.

 

But liike I said I like to kiss some. Actually I LOVE to kiss, but as meowkittyhascla said, kissing the other male doesn't exactly do it for me. Its just not as nice as it is with my hubby. Now kissing the female does turn me on. But everyone has their own opinions. Thanks for all of yours!!!

[Weezie 16]

ok, to each his own....but I've never thought of another human being as a sex toy. I certainly hope some of the people we've played with don't think of us as that. If all we needed we're toys we wouldn't be in this lifestyle. Do you toss them aside when batteries die or they break?LOL

[HotCoupleGnS 21]

No I don't toss them aside when the batteries die, I get new ones. lol! I think I was misunderstood. I didn't mean literally like a sex toy. They are people. They are just someone to have fun with. Emotionally there isn't much involvment. It's just hot kinky good sex. If I need emotional involvment that is what my husband is for. Like I said try not to take it the wrong way. Our marriage, & our feelings are the most important things. After that I will worry about what the other people feel. I don't know if that helps clarify much.

[Spoomonkey 421]

We've never really thought as kissing as a "love" thing (feeling). Kissing is just a fun part of the encounter - like doggie style, but without the sore back part

 

For us - the "hot kinky good sex" usually involves a little kissin' and huggin' and fumbling around before the actual "acts" start happening.

 

We agree with you 100% - we don't need that "love connection" to paly with someone. We have a perfect love-thing going on right here at Spoomonkey Ranch. Like I've posted before - some couples keep kissing as the thing they keep just for them... In truth though - aren't their really a LOT of things that you don't (and never could) share with your swing partners? As open as we are with our playmates, there is a world of stuff that isn't shared in a private room.

 

Spoomonkey

[Vjklander 138]

We like kissing, just another part of foreplay.

Sex without kissing is like Lynchburg Lemonade without JD

[Alura 2,775]

I'd like to see an answer to Weezie's question, "What do you if you don't kiss?"

 

Do you just say, "I don't kiss, but I'd like to give you some head," and dive into sex? I don't think I've ever had sex without kissing first. I find the whole concept rather strange, in fact.

 

Mr. Alura

[Vjklander 138]

Bypass the upper lips and go for the nips or nether lips.

[HotCoupleGnS 21]

I don't think you guys are understanding what I am saying. I never said I don't kiss. I think you should read the whole post before you reply. I said I like to kiss, just not make out. It's not strange, its just an opinion. I just think kissing is very romantic.

[Vjklander 138]

Originally posted by HotCoupleGnS

Have a quick question. Its about kissing. Is kissing a big deal for most swingers? I mean I like kissing, don't get me wrong. But I kind of look at it like something I want to save to do with my Mr. We are pretty new to all this. (Have done a mfmf & mfm.) But I was never big on kissing the other people. A little is ok, but not like heavy making out. Does anyone else feel this way? Or am I the only one? Just curious.

 

 

Looks to me like it was about kissing.

[HotCoupleGnS 21]

Huh? I know its about kissing? LOL

[OhioCouple 41]

Kissing is something that is nearly as subjective as bi or not bi.

 

There are many types of kissing. The mandatory kiss on the cheek to your Great Aunt Dora, the kiss on a teary little ones boo-boos, the kiss of a quick good-bye on the lips to your lover, the passionate kiss of a prelude to sexual intercourse and the overwhelming, heart pouring of affection kiss that you share with your soul mate, just to name a few.

 

When you mentioned that you don't like to make out, that too is subjective. I think of making out as long drawn out kissing sessions and nothing more. Kinda like when you were in high-school and you were trying your best not to go further than just kissing. Others think that it means you have more feelings than just sex alone. And that's cool. Again, it is subjective.

 

For myself, I couldn't imagine having sex with someone that didn't want to include kissing (more than a peck here and there) as part of the pre-lude to the ultimate act. But that is me. I find getting lost in the feeling of the moment a huge turn on and makes for better sex. The kisses shared between my husband and myself are much different than the ones we share with others as our kisses go much deeper than sex. The heart is involved. It isn't with play partners and there in lies the difference in heavy kissing for us.

 

Did that make sense?

[Alura 2,775]

We understood what you mean.

 

We have to agree with Mrs. O. Kissing is an important part of "getting hot" to us.

 

We feel the important distinction to make is the difference between having sex for pure fun and making love.

 

We only make love with each other. We are only able to make love with each other.

 

All the physical acts are similar whether we are making love or having recreational sex. The meaning of kissing during either is vitally different as is the meaning of the two very different acts.

 

Alura

[WA_Cple 20]

Mrs here

 

I kiss my women playmates but don't kiss the men. Hubby doesn't kiss anyone!

 

We prefer to keep kissing to ourselves but we are also open... so who knows - we may just find that perfect smoocher to change our minds!

 

MWA! hehe

[chloe35 15]

If a couple is fairly new to the scene then maybe they should take it slow until they really find out what their likes and dislikes are.

Personally, I have always loved kissing, but that doesn't mean I kiss everyone that we're with. It is sort of a personal thing and if I'm not comfortable in kissing a particular person than I won't.

Kissing is a very passionate thing to me. Turns me and the hubby on intensely.

[GirlieZ 15]

Mmm...I love kissing. Bubble gum tongue....juicy lips....sweet breath becoming faster and faster....

 

 

I love to kiss the people I fuck. Passionate kissing makes my heart beat fast fast fast. It is the opening act! However, that kissing is so different than the kisses my Man and I share.

 

 

When I kiss my husband, I kiss my soulmate. He kisses, touches me like no other. That kissing is much more intimate, because we share the most inner thoughts and secrets.

 

I am disappointed when couples don't allow outside kissing. When I kiss someone else, it means nothing emotionally. Sex without kissing is like soda pop without the fizz. Flat and lifeless!

 

Zgirl

[leftcoastcouple 32]

Originally posted by Mr&Mrs-naughty

We are kissers. Iit doesnt bother us. Kissing is the first step to foreplay wich is the first step to sex.

 

And here I thought I didn't like Texans (Y'know, The Cowboys and all.).

 

You two rock!

[C&D 15]

We used to feel that way about kissing. It being more for love. That was until C kissed another man and it was a serious turn on. Then she kissed another woman and oh man let me tell ya...

 

 

CandD

[Chemistry_0518 20]

My Little Princess and I love kissing and we do it with our partners without reservation. We have run into a couple who reserve kissing only for each other. Of course, we easily complied with that request. But guess what? When we met them a second time, they wanted to share in the sweet kissing sessions that My Little Princess and I had!

 

One never knows, DO ONE?

[BradAndJanet 70]

We think kissing is a great way to start the ball rolling, but we'd have no problem if another couple wanted to save that for themselves. There are plenty of other things that work as well...

 

-B

[frenzb4sex 15]

I think one of the funniest things is the mindset people have about this. At first, we were introduced to swinging by a couple who didn't kiss. Their explanation--too intimate. Too much "love" involved. We took that with a grain of salt at first, but then found that after a while the non-kissing aspect did not seem natural. We didn't enjoy just the sexual part as much because of this.

 

After we hooked up with some more couples who did like kissing, it became clear that we are indeed cuddlers and kissers at heart. And while some people may think that kissing is intimate, is not the act of sex considered the same exact thing in terms of intimacy? Here you are, vulnerable as ever naked with another person, having sex...how is that not as intimate as kissing someone? I am not meaning this in the polyamory sort of way, please don't take it that way! Look at it from a soft swinging perspective--people who will do everything short of the physical act of sex in many cases--because they consider it too intimate, or again, something that they want to have just for their spouse. The ironic thing in many of these situations is that soft swingers often will kiss-making out--but won't do the intercourse part.

 

I mean, in order to do this in the first place--swinging that is--there is a need to have the trust and security at a level that most don't ever get to, especially in the "vanilla" life. So, you already have that trust level and know that you are going to have your spouse when it's all said and done, so why is it then that kissing is taboo for some? I can stick my dick in your mouth but not my tongue? Sorry, that's crass, but has some measure of truth to it.

 

I totally understand if there are things in swinging that people save for their own spouses. Some people don't do anal, some don't do oral, some don't do kissing. And I think that's fine. But if you are not doing it because you feel that it's too intimate, I think that people are totally missing that the entire act of sex itself is, in fact, intimate in nature. To me, they are missing out on a great and natural thing that makes most people's motors purrrrrrrrrrrrrrr and the sex that much better. I can understand the soft swinging thing, because kissing is one of the first steps in the sexual process...but they stop when it gets to the upper levels of sex. For those that swing full but don't kiss, to me it's almost as if they are skipping to the end of the book to get the ending without reading the whole story!!!!!

 

JMHO!

 

Tim

[HotCoupleGnS 21]

Well, like I said when I strated this thread, we do kiss some. It's not like we just hop in bed & start fucking. I just don't see anything wrong with saving something to share between yourselves.

And basically, if a couple doesn't agree with our opinion then they need to find another couple to fuck. We love each other more than anything in the whole world, we like having something that is "just for us."

[browneyez6969 15]

Maybe you should explore it at your next meeting. Pay more attention to it . See how you feel . Notice what your Mr. Does and see how it makes you feel. Best thing I can think of is to test it out and see how the other feels about it. Thats what we did.

[HotCoupleGnS 21]

We don't need to test it out. As I have said before, we kiss some. So we have tried it out. We just enjoy keeping it for ourselves.

[Chemistry_0518 20]

Keeping the kisses for yourselves is understandable, but please make certain to inform your play partners well in advance. Reasonable people will accept and abide by your limits.

 

There is nothing worse than "Oh, by the way . . ." just as things heat up.

[tntfuncpl 15]

I had never thought about the no kissing rule until recently. We were coming home from a ballgame w/ another couple and the other woman was driving and my hubby was up front w/ her. I was in the back w/ the other man. We parked for a bit and all started playing around for a few minutes. I DID NOT like seeing my husband "making out" with her. It was like they were dating or something - and it seemed waaaay to sensual. The act of seeing them fuck later that night was great - but I didnt like the kissing. I am not sure if it was just because it wasnt leading to sex right then - or what. My husband didnt quite understand - but I thought it was too intimate at the time. I do agree that it can be a great part of the sexual experience - so I am not banning it. I guess we'll just see how I feel the next time.

[HotCoupleGnS 21]

Well tntfuncpl I'm glad to see someone can see how we feel. We do tell anyone that we have any encounter with.

[SluttyWife 17]

Count me in amongst the kissers.

 

I find outright sex (oral, intercourse) *far* more intimate. Sides that kissing is just plain fun and can be done just about anywhere.

 

Be sure to brush your teeth at least an hour ahead

to avoid any bleeding gums that would otherwise make it totally unsafe.

 

I am not advocating that kissing is safe sex, here....but the mouth

does provide a nice hostile very HIV-unfriendly environment.

flamethrow

 

 

That said don't kiss just anyone, especially frogs.

 

 

[Uneed_Love 15]

That said don't kiss just anyone, especially frogs.

CROAK CROAK

 

BIG KISSES TO YA'LL

 

JC the jumping and croaking Frog

[Avantgarden38 18]

We often encounter hesitation with different comfort levels such as kissing, same room, bisexuality, anal sex, condoms to name a few. Some are easy to understand and others are not. We personally can't understand how one could be comfortable with sex, yet not comfortable with a kiss. Even just a closed-mouth kiss. We have been with couples that wouldn't kiss and it was very uncomfortable. Kissing for us is both a fire-starter and a segue into other adventures.

 

When we make rules for ourselves we always ask "why are we making this rule" and "what is the worst that might happen if we didn't have it". Many times we found our rules were just foolish and dropped them. Just because we share something with someone else (like a kiss), certainly doesn't detract from what it means to us. We don't feel the need to "save something special", because what we have is already so special. When we are spending time with our swing partners we want to be able to give it 100% and make the most of a unique experience.

[Chemistry_0518 20]

We agree with you Avant. We have run into only a couple of situations in which someone that we played with had a limit on kissing. We complied and honored that limit as we would in all cases, but it felt SO weird.

[iamorpheus 15]

I will be the first to admit that I am the biggest hypocrit . I told my wife that we should not kiss because of the loving feeling and the special bond that it is normally associated with. Well why in the hell then did I talk my beautiful, and loving wife to perform felatio on The male during one our first swinging sessions. Now that Im thinking about it and I read all your posting I feel like a Dick......Am I a Dick guys?

[Chemistry_0518 20]

Sure seems that way IAM.

[SluttyWife 17]

CROAK CROAK

 

BIG KISSES TO YA'LL

 

JC the jumping and croaking Frog

 

 

Mon Couer!

 

;-*

[Romily 15]

Just my (very limited) experience - we are very new to the life style ( mmf and mfmf),and kissing is something i have a prob with. My man loves kissing, and wouldn't have a prob with me kissing the other bloke, but somehow for me a passionate kiss is much more emotional than the sex thing - I just don't fancy kissing somebody besides my man. I don't mind kissing their whole body, just a kiss with tongue is not really happening;)

 

I also still fight with some jealousy demons, and though I was fine to see him shagging another woman, I had a bit a problem seeing him kissing her...

 

But that's just me, and I can't rationally explain why I feel that way - it's just the way it is....

[starting2swing 16]

Hello fellow tulsans, we are also just starting to expieriment with the swinging lifestyle, but I feel strongly about not kissing. I (wife) agree with you on not being into the whole kissing thing. To me kissing is intimate and romantic, swinging is suppose to be kinky and fun.

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

To me kissing is intimate and romantic, swinging is suppose to be kinky and fun.

 

There is a perfect combination to both!!

 

Once you find it...LOOK OUT!!!!

[HotCoupleGnS 21]

OK, as I said before we might change our minds & we did. As I said before we do kiss some. Now we don't necasarily see it in the same light. Kissing for foreplay & excitment is cool. There are some kisses we will save for each other. You know those passionate kisses that seem to make the whole world stand still & make your legs give out? Those will be saved strictly for each other! All the rest is fair game! Anyone playing wiht us better watch out! We both love to kiss!

[midnight hour 16]

Mr. Midnight and I even as newbies have very few nos. The main one is for me anything I feel uncomfortable about...the kissing one was not a issue with him..actually nothing is in the scheme of things as long as I have fun. As for me him kissing another I don't think it will bother me. But of course time could prove me wrong.

 

 

midnight hour

[Alura 2,775]

OK, as I said before we might change our minds & we did. As I said before we do kiss some. Now we don't necasarily see it in the same light. Kissing for foreplay & excitment is cool. There are some kisses we will save for each other. You know those passionate kisses that seem to make the whole world stand still & make your legs give out? Those will be saved strictly for each other! All the rest is fair game! Anyone playing wiht us better watch out! We both love to kiss!

 

We call those special kisses "Making Love." They can't be shared with anyone else since we don't love anyone else. Really, it's pretty simple.

 

Alura