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enhancer

Well this is a swinger site after all!

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Is this your first time getting a message like that? When we first joined a site single men were all we were getting. Funny part we posted looking for only women which we never got a message from. Even couples that replied ended up being single men. 
You do have to realize that many members are looking for a man for MFM sex or an M to play with the wife. 
A penis picture was always a red flag, so were lady’s parts. 
I’m surprised you don’t get many similar messages. 

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9 minutes ago, cplnluv1 said:

Is this your first time getting a message like that? When we first joined a site single men were all we were getting. Funny part we posted looking for only women which we never got a message from. Even couples that replied ended up being single men. 
You do have to realize that many members are looking for a man for MFM sex or an M to play with the wife. 
A penis picture was always a red flag, so were lady’s parts. 
I’m surprised you don’t get many similar messages. 

No it is far from the first time we have received a message like this!  The point I was trying to make is that the misconception that everyone on a swinger site is a slut that will fuck anything or anybody is the furthest thing from the truth, but it is clear that many people think that is the way it is.

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People who want a quick hit knock on a hundred doors. If one person says yes, they’re happy. 

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Some people think that after knocking on a hundred doors and only having limited (at best) success that maybe they are doing something wrong and come up with a new plan.

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I suspect that those types of messages are more often than not, by a long shot, from men. I suspect men think differently. Sorry Apple.

 

They/we have a 'hook up' mentality. Men generally WILL fuck anything anytime and they mistakenly assume women who are open about their sexuality, are open to multiple partners, are open about challenging stereotypes etc  are the same.

 

I've seen the same attitude towards lesbian couples. If a lesbian couple is out, then they must also be promiscuous and open to alternative forms of sex.

 

I blame the neanderthal/lizard brain which seems to still be quite active in men.

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57 minutes ago, GoldCoCouple said:

Some people think that after knocking on a hundred doors and only having limited (at best) success that maybe they are doing something wrong and come up with a new plan.

I don't know... how different is it really from the general "you have to kiss a lot of frogs" mentality of finding a couple or single that is a good match for you and isn't a fake or flake?

 

Yes, these guys are looking quick, easy, no strings attached sex and they don't want to put in any real work to find it (beyond sending out lots and lots of copy n' pasted messages that say "hey, wanna fuck"). Yes, they are exactly what gives single men in the lifestyle a bad name. Yes, 99 our of 100 of us will turn them down without a second thought... but for that 100th couple, for whatever reason, these guys may be what they are looking for.

 

4 hours ago, enhancer said:

The point I was trying to make is that the misconception that everyone on a swinger site is a slut that will fuck anything or anybody is the furthest thing from the truth, but it is clear that many people think that is the way it is.

You're not wrong. At the same time, when my wife and I used to go to clubs, we were totally there for the no strings attached, one night hook up with some agreeable anonymous guy... and as long as everyone agreed that was the deal and had a good time, everyone was happy. Basically, we were the sluts and we enjoyed it.

 

I'm not saying these guys are right or good. Honestly, I've ignored and blocked guys like this on swingers sites too. Still, if they do have a 1 in a 100 or even 1 in a 1000 success rate, who am I to judge to people who do respond to those messages with "hot dick, do me now"?

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Not uncommon. I believe it why there are so many single men signing up to swinger sites as free members with little to no profile content; swinger=easy/guaranteed.

 

Same reason they will over run any club that allows them unrestricted. Then charges them twice as much for even the slightest hope that they’ll get laid. 
 

There are some super cool and chill ones out there but you have to put up with a lot of frogs to find that prince. 
 

 

 

 

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I have male vanilla friends, guys that have been around the block a few times, not 50-year-old virgins, who have made comments about swingers/swinging that are just totally clueless.  Mostly some variation on the old "swingers will fuck anything that moves" thing.  They also think there is no such thing as cheating if you are a swinger, basically no rules, nothing off limits. And, if a couple are swingers, then it absolutely must be that one or the other (husband or wife) is fucking over the other, like "she's taking that poor SOB for a ride."

 

If I engage at all, it's usually just commenting, "uhhhh, from what I've heard, I don't think it works quite like that" and just leave it at that. No amount of explanation would help,  because it just Does Not Compute with them.

 

Limited sample size, and choosing my words carefully here, but I will say that it seems the more "traditional" a person's view on gender roles in marriage and life in general, the more likely it is they just totally can't grasp swinging, or at least not swinging where both partners are both happily and enthusiastically involved.  Males seem especially prone to it.  Most won't admit it, but they totally like the idea of being able to have some strange every now and then, but if it means giving up some possessiveness and control, then hell no.

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We block single males on swinger sites. We prefer to swap partners. Just how we roll, we understand other couples prefer MFM and it’s easier than finding a four way match. 

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