Next steps...

[NotTheCuckYoureLookingFor 22]

Hey

 

Newbie here. A bit about us first - We are very happily married couple for 10 years, very naughty in the bedroom, lots of fantasies. When we first got together, we were both attracted to the idea of sharing. Well, more towards me watch her with other guys, girls & couples and it was a huge turn on for us. At one point we were going to visit a swing club and on that night My wife was very ready. Shortish skirt, no panties, all shaved and juicy but at the last minute something came up and we had to bail :( She had few encounters with some female friends but it was just soft, nothing hard.

 

After than we put some posts on CL for a couple that she could join while i watch but nothing materialised.

 

Then the fantasies sort of drifted away with general life until recently. Over the past 12-18 months things have really picked up again with both of us. It never really left me if im honest but my Wife has now gained a big interest which is great. In the bedroom, we bought new toys (realistic) etc and we both love to watch her ride while she tells me whats shes thinking which is mainly her fucking which i watch then me finishing her off. I love the talk and the thought and out of the bedroom she says she really likes the idea of trying it to see if she likes it. Obviously a huge turn on for us both.

 

So what are the next steps?

 

We live out of any major cities and we cant exactly put a local post out in case someone recognises us. We'd like to first start slowly with a single girl / guy then after that a couple. We are not into the group thing and its not exactly cucking. Well it kind of is but without all of the insulting and degradation.

 

I know my Wife is keen as am i so how do we get this going?

 

 

Thanks

 

[enhancer 1,585]

I would suggest setting up an account on one of the swinging sites!  There are links to some of them on this site.  Do your best to make it interesting and include some good pictures of your bodies at the least.  You can have a private folder with face pics to share with people that are of interest.  I would suggest not putting in the profile that you are a cuckold if you are not interested in the humiliation part of it, because you will get a lot of creeps hitting you up.  If it is more about you sharing and watching her Stag and Vixen would be more suitable.  Take your time and don’t settle for anything less then what you both want.

[Idahocouple6969 294]

Welcome to the board! I would suggest a membership in one of the swingers group. Like SLS or whichever is popular in your area. You can get a free membership to see which you like. However few people will take you seriously unless you have a paid membership.

Another route we highly recommend is finding a local meet and greet. Especially if you live in a small area. You will be surprised at the number of like minded people you will find. 

We live in a rural ultra conservative area. And parties are a closely held secret. 

Good luck and keep us posted ☺️.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Welcome to the site!

 

All great advice above.  We can relate to a lot of what you said about distance from city, etc., so totally understand.

 

I still wouldn't totally rule out the swingers club trip, even if it takes making it into a long weekend getaway.

 

Beyond that, one of the big online personals sites like SLS, Swingtowns, or SDC is likely going to be part of the solution. You can set up accounts for free, so not a bad idea to try more than one just to see which one you like the best and have the most people on it from your area.

 

Even if you don't want to go for the browsing personals looking for playmates route, those sites are great resources for finding parties and meet and greets.  Also worth pointing out that you can set your location to wherever you want it to be on the sites.  So if you aren't comfortable swinging anywhere closer than an hour's drive away, just set your location to wherever that is.  Unless you tell them, nobody will ever know any different.  Personally, we have an "at least two towns over" rule.  We won't swing in our community, nor the neighboring one.  Get to the third one though, which is a little over an hour away, and it's a medium-sized city. About all of our hookups have happened there.  We set our location somewhere between here and there.  That way we don't say exactly where we are, and we are close enough to the bigger community to pop up in people's searches for that area.

 

Totally up to you of course, but I might think about reversing that order on getting started.  I think you might find it easier with a couple at first.  Single female extremely difficult at all times, single males a dime a dozen and the vast majority of them totally clueless on picking up on what their role should be in any given situation. You'll find no shortage of guys ready and willing, but one who sees himself as part of the team and not just in it for himself getting laid, that's going to be nearly as hard as finding a single female. Especially online, the odds of finding a good single male aren't that great because the good ones already have plenty of couples they are friends with, most aren't going to be needing to browse personals trying to find a new couple.  Clubs and meet and greets, the odds are better.  You still are going to have do plenty of filtering, but starting to make friends with some couples like say at a meet and greet may be a great networking opportunity to get introduced to some great single males.

 

Good luck!  It's exciting! I can almost guarantee it will turn out to be way more work and difficulty than you think it will, but once the patience pays off and the pieces fall into place right, it can be awesome

[NotTheCuckYoureLookingFor 22]

Appreciate all of the advice. The idea of a couple first sound good and as you mention it, there will be a ton of single guys ready and willing but not what we're looking for.

 

We're both excited about taking this forward and i'll be looking forward to seeing my Wife being naughty with other people :)

[enhancer 1,585]

14 minutes ago, NotTheCuckYoureLookingFor said:

Appreciate all of the advice. The idea of a couple first sound good and as you mention it, there will be a ton of single guys ready and willing but not what we're looking for.

 

We're both excited about taking this forward and i'll be looking forward to seeing my Wife being naughty with other people

Seeing the missus being naughty with other people is my favourite part of the lifestyle.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

"Not cuckold" is known as 'stag and vixen'. 

 

Remember, anyone you run into on a swingers site is there for the same reason you are. IF you run across someone you know, they don't want their 'secret' out any more than you do. It will give you a newfound respect for them and something to talk about if you cross paths in public (and even want to mention it).

 

Finally, we love the idea of weekend getaways...going to the city and visiting a swingers club. It gives you something to look forward to and plan and a pretty good chance of finding exactly what you are looking for. Good luck and let us know how things are going.

[NotTheCuckYoureLookingFor 22]

Hey

 

So we are progressing. We are looking for our first experience to be something specific. My wife would prefer a couple vs a single guy or girl which is ok with me as we both believe he would behave better with his partner there. 

 

What my wife wants is to go out, have some fun, flash her pussy (she likes that), and then go back. Starting with the female, she wants to kiss and make out, slowly undressing to finally getting some pussy action (she's wanted it for a while). Then the guy can get involved by dick teasing her pussy and slowly entering her. Then fuck her while she eats her pussy.

 

I won't get involved until after they have finished.

 

I guess our major thing now is finding the couple, someone we both like and are willing to follow some basic rules. We don't live near any major cities which makes it more difficult.

 

We are very excited though, the thought of seeing my wife getting fucked by another guy is hot, even more so if she is eating pussy at the same time. For her, she is excited to feel another dick fuck her and taste pussy while I watch

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

Hey NTCYLF. Heck of an acronym 🤣😂

 

I respectfully somewhat disagree with cplnuswing. It's true there are single males on swinger sites that are creeps, and just in it to get laid. They're there for the wrong reasons. But, my wife and I have found a number of single males who were keepers; non-creeps who were respectful and kind to her. She kept two of them as long term boyfriends spanning years. At a rough estimate, I'd say it was 30-40% men who were in it for the wrong reasons and/or didn't understand their role. The proportion of men on 'vanilla' dating sites that are creeps is MUCH, MUCH higher. One way you can help filter out such creeps; on whatever swinger site you post a profile, bury something in the text of your profile, midway in a paragraph, that says something like "If you've read this far, let us know at the top of the email you send us." If they don't let you know, you know they didn't read your profile and aren't investing any time in learning about you and whether you might be a good match. They just filtered themselves out. Don't respond, delete, block, and move on.

 

On being some distance from major cities; ok this can be a challenge. But, going to a city some distance away isn't a panacea to solving problems with running into someone you know. There's lots of stories on this forum about people doing just that; they come from Outbackville, drive two hours to Megaville thinking it'll be all anonymous, and they run into Jim and Jane from Outbackville. A version of this sort of happened with my wife and I. We don't live in Outbackville, but a small city. We connected with a couple on SLS from an hour and a half away, and spent some time with them including going to a swingers club about 2 hours away from us. Turned out, they were very good friends with a co-worker of mine, whose office was just one floor away from mine. That led to some uncomfortable conversations with my co-worker about how we met the couple. <gulp> Moral of the story; you never know.

 

Mostly though, if you're out on a date to enjoy some swinging and you run into someone you know...what's to lose? They have revealed themselves to be swingers as well. What are they going to do? Go home to Outbackville and tell Bob Smith "Hey Bob, you'll never guess what happened! I was at a swing club and I ran into Sally and Mike!" NOBODY would start such a conversation. It's gossip that would never be told. If you run into Jim and Jane from Outbackville while you are out, but are not at a swingers club or on a swinger meet up with another couple or single, how would Jim and Jane know you're on a date to swing? They wouldn't.

 

There's another aspect to this too. You would likely be surprised at just how many swingers are in your area. My wife was astonished. She thought, in our town of ~60k, there would be maybe 10-20 swingers at most. It's actually hundreds. Take any group of 50 couples, and it's likely that at least 1-2 if not 3-4 couples are swingers. It's a lot more common than people think. If your rural area within 25 miles of you has a thousand couples, as many as 60-80 of those couples could be swingers. Setup a free profile on the various swinger sites mentioned by others above. Do searches. See which swinger site returns the most results for your area. That will tell you which swinger site is likely the most popular in your area. That's the one you sign up for with a paid profile. As mentioned, an unpaid profile won't attract as much attention. Also; if you try to connect with single males, don't connect with single males who don't have a paid profile. That's another creep filtering mechanism.

 

As to others respecting your rules; I think you will find that any couples or singles (who are legit) will be very respectful of your rules. As swingers, we know rules are important for people, and need to be respected..else play isn't going to happen or it's going to be a train wreck and who wants that?

 

Let us know how it goes!