Playing safely

[Fun131624 1]

My wife and I have been discussing entering the LS for a while and it's led to some really great sex. We've been married for 30+ years, are recently retired and feel we now have the time to explore what's been the source of  some of our fantasies.  Now the big sticking point. My wife has been a health care provider (urology) for 30 years and has seen it all, how do you handle the risk of STI's. 

[Thegreyarea 100]

Condoms

[BillyandDebbie 301]

It has been part of our conversation also. Our friends who would be our first time are active swingers, we have been monogamous and I haven’t worn a condom since the last one in my wallet disintegrated. At this point in our lives we don’t need to have an sti. We never talked about this with our friends, what their sti history is, and what do their friends use for protection.  

[PeterJ 960]

12 hours ago, Thegreyarea said:

Condoms

Condoms are a good place to start, as are other strategies that prevent or minimize fluid exchange. But we live in a probabilistic world, and just as is the case with singles dating in the vanilla world, forbcouples dating in the swinging world any activities that physically engage others’ genitalia are going to have some level of risk. Every couple in the lifestyle, or contemplating getting into it, needs to make risk management decisions about STIs. (For the Funs, who made the original post, Ms. Fun’s background in urology means they will be making their risk assessments based on more solid information than many other couples.)

 

For couples who find that ANY increased risk of STIs is too much, their lifestyle activities will need to be confined to watching and being watched and/or handjobs. And for some couples that’s all they need to provide a higher level of enjoyment in their sex life.

[discreetplay 235]

On 12/11/2021 at 1:10 PM, Fun131624 said:

how do you handle the risk of STI's

You and your wife of 30 years are looking to have sexual activity with strangers. You 'handle' the risk by using condoms. You can require a negative test (ask couples to provide documentation) but you'd have to trust them to not fake them. Avoid playing with couples at clubs. Avoid playing until you've spent some time with a couple. This approach is cautious and may minimize the risk a little more, but will seriously narrow the number of couples you'll have a chance with. 

 

The risk is there, will always be if you're interacting with people you don't know.

[Fun131624 1]

Thank you all, we realize it's all about acceptable risk and feeling comfortable with the people you choose to play with. Over the course of the last few weeks she's becoming more relaxed the more we talk about it. As everyone says we communicate at a much higher level now and that in and of itself is exciting as hell. We plan to visit a club and just take it all in and see where we go from there. Again thanks so much for the input.

[njbm 2,901]

Hate to be Debbie Downer, but swingers have the misperception that condoms create an ironclad prevention of STIs. I am loathe to report that condoms have mixed results in preventing HPV and HSV. HPV can be prevented with a vaccine, but it is only available to those under 45 at present. Caveat emptor. No free lunch. 

[Thegreyarea 100]

Yes, sex is risky outside your marriage. It basically boils down to whether or not you’re willing to take the risk. I’ve had condoms break or come off. We normally test quarterly but when things like that happen, I’ll get tested again a couple weeks after the fact. We don’t play with people we don’t know though. All of our friends we play with we’ve known for a while. And while that doesn’t prevent anything there is some safety in knowing that the friends we play with have the same approach as we do.