Test waters with old friend?

[curious cuple 50]

Hi everyone, my wife and I have been talking about an mfm with no penetration for awhile now. We both enjoy the thought of me and another male touching her and performing oral on her at the same time. We are new to this also. We both agree it’s not a good idea to just jump in. We both want to take it slow to make sure we are both ok with what’s going on. We thought maybe it would be a good idea to invite someone over and the wife changed into a little pajama short set. The idea behind this is to see if we are comfortable with showing a little more skin then normal. We thought maybe a friend would possibly be a good idea. Or maybe not? Just curious on your thoughts. Thanks 

[curious cuple 50]

I should add that I have not talked to the friend about what we are interested in. This would just be to see how we both feel with her wearing a bit revealing pjs. The friend has always thought my wife was attractive so I don’t think it would be an issue.

[lcmim 1,082]

ummmm ... maybe a conversation of some sort with the friend? 

Perhaps even the night of if you start vanilla. Have the conversation move to adult attractions and experimentation and see how he reacts.

If that goes well then maybe a bit of flirtation , before she changes.

Let him know upfront just how far the evening will progress and what stage of the experiment you are in.

Slow and steady may win the race, but even more important it is more likely to finish the race. 

 

If a wife of friend that I find the wife attractive sprung the nighty thing on me without any forewarning I would find it off putting.

 

[curious cuple 50]

Ok point taken, we will definitely have to discuss it before. 

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

It's often been said here that it is not a good idea to try to make a swinger out of a friend. It's sage advice. You stand a good chance of ruining that friendship, and also of other people in your social circle knowing, and maybe even your family or job. Think carefully about this. People are extremely judgmental of swinging. As we've seen from many posts on this forum, people will accept the idea of cheating LOOOONG before they will accept the idea of a spouse playing with permission. It's illogical, but it's how society generally reacts.

 

For my part, if I went over to the house of a couple with whom I were friends, and the wife changed into pajamas that were a bit revealing, I absolutely wouldn't know what to think. I damn sure wouldn't make any suggestive talk, flirt, or anything that could be construed as an advance. Ok, you'd be doing this to see how your wife felt, and the guy wouldn't know in your scenario. How much of a victim are you making the friend? Is that really a way to treat a friend? Your friend finding your wife attractive doesn't automatically translate as "willing". In fact, it might cause the opposite effect. I would definitely talk this over with your friend before doing anything, and I would reconsider doing this with a friend.

 

There's other ways you can be more risque with your wife. If you want to see how she feels about being a bit more revealing, there's all sorts of attire she could wear while the two of you are on a date. You could experiment with her wearing something risque, and sitting at a bar alone while you were at a table somewhere else. That's just one idea of many I'm sure you could come up with.

 

 

 

[EastInWest 1,524]

6 hours ago, bbarnsworth said:

 

For my part, if I went over to the house of a couple with whom I were friends, and the wife changed into pajamas that were a bit revealing, I absolutely wouldn't know what to think. I damn sure wouldn't make any suggestive talk, flirt, or anything that could be construed as an advance.

 

Why am I thinking about Jurassic Park?

 

"Keep absolutely still. The hotwife's vision is based on movement."

[couplers 4,640]

While I don't necessarily agree that playing with friends is a bad idea, I do agree that your wife displaying herself to see what happens is.

Edited January 9, 2022 by couplers

[BillyandDebbie 301]

Only if all are in agreement would playing with friends be correct, teasing wouldn’t be right. 

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,389]

He tells two friends, then they tell two friends... next thing you know, everybody knows you're a swinger. If that Ok then fine. Otherwise maybe rethink this.

[AndrewandAnn 360]

Swinging with an "old friend"? File that in the Bad Idea folder.

 

Rule #1: Swing with swingers. If you become vanilla friends with people with whom you swing, that's an added bonus.

 

Rule #2: Do not attempt to convert vanilla people into swingers. Why? Because they are not approaching the sex the same way as you. We've seen some *absolute* train wrecks.

 

However, for every rule... there is an exception. Being entirely transparent, early along our lifestyle path, we did play with the wife of a vanilla couple (the girls had some light play between them and finished with some oral on me, not full swap), with the vanilla husband present. The husband is a very liberated and kinky guy and, in spite of being entirely left out, was probably more into it than his wife! Lol... Anyway, it was late in the evening after an all-day pool/spa party. It worked out fine and we are still friends with them and see them often (they have a place in the marina, too.) We never really had any overt sexual contact with them after that night, though. It was one and done.