Having your SO be the entertainment at a bachelor party

[Anon321 521]

So one of my friends is engaged and I am going to be an usher at the wedding.  His best man is his brother and he reached out to me through text to discuss the bachelor party.  He covered everything from going to Vegas, staying local and going to dinner and a strip club, going paint balling, having the party at his place, etc etc.  Obviously COVID can end up throwing a wrench into anything though so we wanted some backup ideas.

 

I was discussing all of this with my GF and made a (somewhat joking) comment that she could save us money on a stripper if she was the entertainment and she was immediately into it.  She is a party girl so I was kind of expecting her to say something like that.  We talked about it for 2 minutes but not seriously.  Fast forward and my buddy's brother comes over to my place with a friend of mine (another usher) to discuss the bachelor party.  As we're discussing and my GF overhears she comes out and makes a comment "what time do you want me there?"  They immediately laugh it off and say it's guys only and she says she can be the entertainment.  At this point my friend looks over at me with a smile because he knows where this is going (he knows about my GF and has had sex with her) but the groom's best man was a little confused.  My GF makes the comment that she has stripped at amateur nights at clubs and done dances and more.  Right away my buddy is on the bandwagon saying he thinks it's a great idea (of course) but the groom's brother had a more awkward/ confused look on his face so I change the topic and move on and we eventually end the night with nothing officially planned.

 

The next day my friend (the other usher) calls me up to discuss and he is completely on board with my GF attending.  I told him I think it would be hot and my GF would probably do it but I think it might be too awkward for our friend's brother.  He said he spoke to him after they left the other night and explained what exactly that meant and that my GF was being serious and said that he was onboard with it.

 

So now I talk to my GF about it again and she is excited and wants to do it.  She's not concerned whatsoever but I am the one who has some concerns.  Like I said she is a party girl and has stripped at clubs on amateur night, has done gangbangs, has entertained at other parties, etc. so I'm not concerned that she can't handle it or anything but here are my concerns:

 

1) She has had sex with the groom many times but not since he has been engaged.  Should I feel weird about putting them into that type of situation together?

 

2) I don't control the guest list.  I am still not 100% sure who will be at this bachelor party and I'm not even sure the best man knows yet but there will be people we don't know there although from the discussions we had it won't be a large group of guys.

 

3) Sex will be involved and that can get awkward for some people.  This situation will most definitely lead to sex but since I don't know who will be there I don't know how others will respond or if there will be people who will be left out.  My GF told me she will figure out a way to make everyone satisfied but she is not a prostitute and therefore doesn't have any obligation to make sure everyone or anyone is sexually satisfied.

 

My GF says I'm overthinking the whole thing and a bachelor party is just supposed to be a fun time.  We had met a group of guys in the past at a strip club who were having a bachelor party and my GF entertained a few of them afterwards but we had no idea who they were so there wasn't a concern of creating any awkwardness or having any expectations because we could just walk away afterwards.

 

I know my GF has been itching for another all night gangbang so this is almost the easiest and quickest way to arrange it.  I think it's a hot idea but my only concern is creating some sort of a rift.  On the other hand my GF is right that it's supposed to be a fun and wild night and everyone is an adult and can make their own decisions.

 

Has anyone ever been the entertainment for a bachelor party for a scenario like this?

[Billygoat 443]

Because of the mix of those who have had and those who have not been with her.  The majority being vanilla.  Past secret activities and that this is just prior to your friends wedding this has warnings, red flags and potential disaster written all over it.  What happens at this stag party will not stay at the stag party, for sure bits and pieces will get around.

 

also, I assume that if this is the plan…..the bride to be has a similar option?

 

other then that a “themed” gangbang, group sex or orgy is diffenately a great and wild time.  We have organized a few dozen of these.  But that is not for then new, inexperienced, vanilla or those secretly flying solo. 

[Fitlakecouple 451]

What a  great way to ruin the wedding and a friendship at the same time. Let us know how it turns out! 

[Anon321 521]

4 hours ago, Billygoat said:

Because of the mix of those who have had and those who have not been with her.  The majority being vanilla.  Past secret activities and that this is just prior to your friends wedding this has warnings, red flags and potential disaster written all over it.  What happens at this stag party will not stay at the stag party, for sure bits and pieces will get around.

 

also, I assume that if this is the plan…..the bride to be has a similar option?

 

other then that a “themed” gangbang, group sex or orgy is diffenately a great and wild time.  We have organized a few dozen of these.  But that is not for then new, inexperienced, vanilla or those secretly flying solo. 

I agree with you.  The issue is the guest list and that it's tied to a friend's wedding.  She compares it to other parties we've had like super bowl, birthday parties, etc. but the difference is we had more control over the guest list and everybody knew what to expect upon walking in.  On the other hand she thinks it is OK because it is blessed by the groom's brother and he is the one who is technically in charge of the bachelor party.

 

If the groom wasn't such a close friend and we didn't know the people well I would probably be much more willing to move forward but this complicates it too much for me.  My GF did say that she can just strip and then there can be a more private after party with those who are interested in moving things further.  It sounds fine but I'm not confident it will exactly work out that easily at a bachelor party as things can escalate right there.  A better solution would be doing the bachelor party and then having some people from the party (who are in the know) come to an after party where my GF can entertain.  I am not saying it is necessarily a good idea but it's probably the most reasonable option of them.

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

I'm with Fitlakecouple on this. This has disaster written all over it in spade and then some.

 

It's often said on this board that it's a bad idea to try to bring friends to the idea of swinging. It's ok to make friends of swingers, but not swingers of friends. It stands a VERY high chance of ruining friendships. Here, in this case, you've got a 'chance' to ruin friendships with a whole circle of friends. Your GF will forever have a reputation among your circle of friends, and it won't be a nice one. There will be judgment and contempt, even from those who have sex with her. They will laugh about what a wild night it was, and what an absolute slut your GF is. She will never be just another person at any other gathering that includes any subset of those friends in the future. She will be an object, and not much more. I'm quite sure the wife-to-be will be extremely upset about the whole thing when she founds out (and she will). There will also be a lot of people who do not attend this party who will know about this night, and may well include people whom you 'd rather they didn't know.

 

I'm sorry, but even though your GF is 100% onboard with this, this is the sort of thing that nightmares are made of.

[Anon321 521]

24 minutes ago, bbarnsworth said:

I'm with Fitlakecouple on this. This has disaster written all over it in spade and then some.

 

It's often said on this board that it's a bad idea to try to bring friends to the idea of swinging. It's ok to make friends of swingers, but not swingers of friends. It stands a VERY high chance of ruining friendships. Here, in this case, you've got a 'chance' to ruin friendships with a whole circle of friends. Your GF will forever have a reputation among your circle of friends, and it won't be a nice one. There will be judgment and contempt, even from those who have sex with her. They will laugh about what a wild night it was, and what an absolute slut your GF is. She will never be just another person at any other gathering that includes any subset of those friends in the future. She will be an object, and not much more. I'm quite sure the wife-to-be will be extremely upset about the whole thing when she founds out (and she will). There will also be a lot of people who do not attend this party who will know about this night, and may well include people whom you 'd rather they didn't know.

 

I'm sorry, but even though your GF is 100% onboard with this, this is the sort of thing that nightmares are made of.

Well as far as my friends finding out and my GF's reputation of being a slut among our circle of friends that ship has already sailed.  I had this conversation with my GF a long time ago when she was originally letting my friends take pictures and videos of her.  I told her those were going to get passed around and they immediately did.  She doesn't regret it and still does it and she says it turns her on.  She is not a very discreet person and that is by choice.  Does she have a slutty reputation among my friends?  Yes.  Does it turn her on?  Yes.  Does it bother me?  Not really.  It is something that can get discussed at lengths from time to time in social settings which can be annoying but is sometimes also hot when they share some of the stories about her.

 

If the wife to be found out that wouldn't be good.  I know her and that would immediately be the end of the wedding.  However my GF's thought process is that just because she would be sexually available it doesn't mean the groom has to have sex with her.  But I know my buddy and I have a gut feeling he is going to.  Like I said this might work as part of some after party following the bachelor party with a small group of guys who are in the know but it's too risky in this setting.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

 

We strongly believe that you shouldn't ever swing with friends because if (or when) something goes wrong, EVERYONE knows...other friends, family, co-workers, everyone. We even feel stronger about swinging with people who aren't swingers...they aren't prepared for the emotions and everything else that happens. Finally, once other significant others find out what happened, they will have a face to be angry with and probably want revenge. This can destroy more than one relationship here. So you say your GF has a rep of being a slut...there is a HUGE difference between being thought of or called a slut and having stone cold proof. Nobody likes to spread gossip more than a bunch of upset women, especially if there is no doubting that it is true. This might be fun to think about and maybe even fantasize about, if it is a fantasy she would like to make happen, go to a swingers club and make it happen somewhere that is safe and controlled with people who understand what is happening and won't want to 'hook up' or try to make her do it again in the future. Please don't let her go here, there is NOTHING GOOD that will come out of it.

 

[Anon321 521]

12 minutes ago, GoldCoCouple said:

 

We strongly believe that you shouldn't ever swing with friends because if (or when) something goes wrong, EVERYONE knows...other friends, family, co-workers, everyone. We even feel stronger about swinging with people who aren't swingers...they aren't prepared for the emotions and everything else that happens. Finally, once other significant others find out what happened, they will have a face to be angry with and probably want revenge. This can destroy more than one relationship here. So you say your GF has a rep of being a slut...there is a HUGE difference between being thought of or called a slut and having stone cold proof. Nobody likes to spread gossip more than a bunch of upset women, especially if there is no doubting that it is true. This might be fun to think about and maybe even fantasize about, if it is a fantasy she would like to make happen, go to a swingers club and make it happen somewhere that is safe and controlled with people who understand what is happening and won't want to 'hook up' or try to make her do it again in the future. Please don't let her go here, there is NOTHING GOOD that will come out of it.

 

I agree with you.  We've never really had any emotional issues with single men but we've definitely had those issues with couples who weren't experienced in swinging.  I think this scenario isn't going to work.  The thought then was can we do it after the party in a more discreet/ safe setting with fewer people.  Right now I think I am just going to try to let this thing die altogether.

[njbm 2,869]

Trainwreck.  Swing with swingers. We are very open minded, but with maturity, I no longer think that bachelor or bachelorette parties should feature extramarital sex. It is sort of antithetical to the concept of marriage. Go out to dinner, a sporting event, gamble, drink, have fun. If the couple wants to become swingers later, that’s fine. It’s not for everyone. 
 

I have a vague recollection of the last bachelor party that  I attended. There was a stripper there. She may have been up for sexual activities. But most of us were newly married and we pinned ourselves to the wall far from the stripper. Very uncomfortable. 

[EastInWest 1,524]

I think the best man's confusion says it all.

 

There would definitely be people at the party who are weirded out and deeply confused, rather than thrilled. Some things just need to be discreet.

[Pklon 62]

I am curious if there ever been a update to this. How was bachelor party if there was one and the wedding itself. Hope everyone had fun

 

[Aphroditee 323]

I agree with your Girl, you are over thinking it.  Having said that I also believe you should change your view of one thing.  Do not walk into this as a ready made gang bang.  I used to work at a strip club and have done plenty of bachelor parties.  Some involved sex, some did not.  Some I just stripped, gave lap dances and did body shots.  You will have to read the room when you get there.  If the groom has any concerns that someone will inform his bride to be he won't accept more than a lap dance, I guarantee it.  

[CarLover22 17]

Any updates to this?  My GF has suggested doing something similar for a friend's bachelor party. 

[Anon321 521]

6 hours ago, CarLover22 said:

Any updates to this?  My GF has suggested doing something similar for a friend's bachelor party. 

Well I killed the idea of my GF being the "entertainment" for the whole group.  I had too many questions about the guest list and it seemed a little dicey for a bachelor party.  If this was a small divorce party or birthday party where I knew who and how many people were going to be there where I controlled it all I would have felt more comfortable.  But that wasn't the case so I had to put a lid on the whole thing.  However, it didn't end there...

 

We went to dinner, a cigar lounge, and then finished the night up at a strip club.  After awhile at the strip club guys started to dodge out as the night went on.  I was texting with my GF throughout the night and I was talking to two of the guys there about my GF, one of which had sex with her before.  It was clear what they were angling for.  I texted my GF if she wanted me to bring back some company and of course she said yes.  I told them who the guys were and she said she'll get ready.  We were all different levels of drunk so we dodged out splitting an Uber and headed back to my place.  My GF greeted us at the door in lingerie and things moved along quickly.  It was a fun time and lasted maybe 4 hours.  We finished up around 7:30 and then went to get breakfast.  It was a rough next day but a great memory.

[CarLover22 17]

Thanks for the update!

Totally understandable that you skipped bringing her along for the bachelor party.  Better to err on the side of caution since you didn't know who'd all be attending and had some reservations about her entertaining the groom...  But hey: At least you and a couple of the guys got to enjoy some fun with your GF before the night was over! 

 

Have you had her entertain you and the guys for any other parties or occasions? 

Any future plans where you're gonna let her?

[Anon321 521]

2 minutes ago, CarLover22 said:

Thanks for the update!

Totally understandable that you skipped bringing her along for the bachelor party.  Better to err on the side of caution since you didn't know who'd all be attending and had some reservations about her entertaining the groom...  But hey: At least you and a couple of the guys got to enjoy some fun with your GF before the night was over! 

 

Have you had her entertain you and the guys for any other parties or occasions? 

Any future plans where you're gonna let her?

Absolutely it was a ton of fun!  Come football season my GF actually does quite a bit of "entertaining" if you want to call it that.  But in those situations everybody at the party has an idea of what to expect and we control who is coming so it's a bit different.