Husbands Fantasy Wife's curious and has question's.

[Justintime44 0]

Husband has fantasized about this for 8 of the past 19 years together. He has dreamed about her having sex with another guy. The right guy must be a great dancer and able to communicate and hold a conversation with the wife along with great chemistry. This isn't a slut thing its a respectful and pleasure thing for the wife. The husband has all the plans for it to happen just hasn't pushed the timing. Because the wife is nervous of how the husband will react after. She doesn't understand that he loves her and loves to see her sexually charged and satisfied. She is nervous and needs other wives to let her know how they felt after there first time. Is it worth it or was it better left a fantasy. Tips to know for sure if your to follow through with it. 

[realcplub2 513]

1 hour ago, Justintime44 said:

Husband has fantasized about this for 8 of the past 19 years together. He has dreamed about her having sex with another guy. .....  This isn't a slut thing its a respectful and pleasure thing for the wife. The husband has all the plans for it to happen just hasn't pushed the timing. Because the wife is nervous of how the husband will react after. She doesn't understand that he loves her and loves to see her sexually charged and satisfied. She is nervous and needs other wives to let her know how they felt after there first time. Is it worth it or was it better left a fantasy. Tips to know for sure if your to follow through with it. 

ok, lets break this down honestly, 

 

  YOU, the husband wrote this, and want affirmation that you are doing it right, RIGHT?  You arent, and are asking for problems. Setting this up WITHOUT her input, choices, ECT, is the worst thing you can do.. 

 

  If you want this to work, make the choice WITH her, Discuss EVERYTHING before that choice is even considered.. 

 

  Women, sometimes because of upbringing, parental teaching, church/religious beliefs not only have a hard time ENJOYING sex, but often confuse extra curricular sex with feelings, instead of an enjoyable physical activity.  You say "Because the wife is nervous of how the husband will react after." Well, that would depend on how HE paints the picture to her.. 

 

  Suggestion is, discuss this with each other honestly, FAR FAR FAR away from the bedroom.. in a situation with no interruptions distractions.. and be honest with each other, and accept the answers.. if more time to consider is asked for, give it.. if its not now.. accept it.. If its maybe, then both of you do the search, and one final RULE, regardless of what HE wants thinks .. if you meet another guy and SHE isnt into it, its NO..  Find someone else

[Justintime44 0]

She is aware of the fantasy and has agreed that a night out of dancing and drinks and or a couples massage is a very good starting point. Sorry I should have been more clear on that. She gets very turned on when we talk about. She is even into role playing the idea out and gets supper excited when she does. She just want to know how other wifes have felt after they have went through with it.  

[realcplub2 513]

10 hours ago, Justintime44 said:

She is aware of the fantasy and has agreed that a night out of dancing and drinks and or a couples massage is a very good starting point. Sorry I should have been more clear on that. She gets very turned on when we talk about. She is even into role playing the idea out and gets supper excited when she does. She just want to know how other wifes have felt after they have went through with it.  

There are great resources right here on this site.. Many to inform..

 

  Ultimately, getting input from other women, while sure because you are asking here you will get positive re-enforcement, there are a few stumbling blocks, that again go back to whats between you both. Sharing fantasies, between couples is always positive. When we suggested you needed to talk without distraction, we meant far far away from a bedroom, in as vanilla a setting as you can get.. Car rides worked for us.. When we started we had kids, and finding non bedroom alone time was a bitch.. appointments with a sitter to watch the kids even for an hour, helped greatly.

 

  New people starting into this, need to discuss more than worries about feelings. Which to be sure is going to come up and no matter how confident you are in how you THINK you are going to feel during or after, you can not predict it. Little things may hit you both.. the new partner may do something that drives her wild, making her moan like never before.. see what we are getting at.. when starting jealousy can and usually does pop up.. the way around it is , again.. talk.. 

 

 Now, to the other advice, Never give out personal contact information, to a initial play partner.. Never share last names in the first date, Never share personal details of where either of you work, what you do.. Your choice to enter into this world , should not endanger your home life.. Security from being semi anonymous. 

 

 Make rules, for some, meeting new playmates some make the rule, no play on the first date, for others the other end of the spectrum is to dive into the deep end and go to a club.. you and her personal rules, and deciding how you go about it if it happens and who participates, vaginal sex or just oral, condoms no condoms, kissing or no kissing, Yes it takes the spontaneity out of it, but it also protects the home base, your relationship.

 

A night of fucking someone can be fun , For a night, destroying what you already have not. 

  

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

I do agree with realcplub2; getting feedback from women here on this forum will offer some confirmation bias. The only women on this forum will very likely be women who enjoy swinging and have had good experiences from it.

 

That said, there are some things you might not be aware of that bear considering. Quite a few women do very much enjoy swinging and get lots of satisfaction from it. Women are a strong element of swinging. If women were more reluctant than men after getting into swinging, then there wouldn't be swinging. From my perspective, women tend to have a bite more difficult of a time separating sex from emotions. My wife certainly agrees with this. It's possible that on average women get into swinging more slowly than men. But, women wouldn't be in it if it wasn't worth it. It most definitely IS worth it...IF the couple is ready, IF the couple is very close, IF the couple has strong communication skills, IF the couple have no issues in their relationship.

 

Your wife might not be completely onboard with swinging yet. It sounds like she's quite interested, but is uncertain about all of it. That's perfectly understandable. There's a rule of thumb swingers have quite often said; move at the pace of the slower of the couple in getting into swinging. You've been fantasizing about it for years, and are likely more ready for it than she is. Allow her to grow into the idea. Move at HER pace, not yours. If you really want this fantasy to come true, you need to support her in her thoughts and decisions about this, and certainly by no means should you try to move her along faster than she's ready. It is a wonderful, wonderful thing to watch your wife having sex with another man. But, it's all meaningless if she isn't enjoying it too. I've seen my wife have sex with other men many times. It's intensely erotic...because she is enjoying it! Your wife isn't ready for that, even if she gets very turned on by the idea. realcplub2 is right; you need to talk about this well away from the bedroom, without being overwhelmed by sexual thoughts.

 

If you do go down this path, understand that the first time doing something isn't likely to be a great measure of how much she will enjoy it. My wife and I talked about this possibility before we got into it. We agreed we'd do it a few times at least, even if it was just a so-so experience. We'd just try different people. It's a good thing we did this; the third time was the charm for my wife. Before that, the sex was kind of humdrum, and not really worth it. Ok, not a bad evening, but not really worth it. The third guy? He curled my wife's toes...quite literally...and she couldn't get enough sex with him. Shortly after we were on the way home from that, she said "Ok, NOW I'm a swinger!" That time was definitely worth it. It can be for your wife too, but you need to proceed at her pace. Talk lots about it, in the bedroom AND well away from it as realcplub2 said. Don't allow your own fantasy dictate this, otherwise she can end up feeling like she's only doing it to fulfill your fantasy. That will end badly. It needs to be her that wants it, her that enjoys it, her that has a fantasy fulfilled.

[Aphroditee 323]

The jealousy problem is real, some couples can handle it some cannot.  I think you need to know which kind of couple you are before you try.  When my husband started asking me to be a hotwife, and I realized he wasn't gonna let it go.  I tested it.  We went to a club one night, we went seperately, for that night we were not a couple.  I told him I would flirt my ass off, I'd dance with guys, I'd accept drinks, and I'd get numbers but I would not leave with anyone but him.  The entire night his job was to watch me do it.  If it ever bothered him he could come get me and we would leave.  I texted him every dirty detail all night long, I was very touchy feely, I danced my ass off and ground my booty against a couple guys on the dance floor.  I made sure he saw it all.  Then we left together when the club closed and we debriefed each other.  He was super turned on so I called one of the guys that gave me their number.  

[hotwife70 593]

On behalf of her:

Do you/would you enjoy?She would love more than one cocks since she has a high sex drive.

Do you fantasize?Yes,she does often.

Do you fantasize but keep it a secret?No,she shared with me since I encouraged her to try.

Do you do it just to please you partner but don't really care either way?No,full fill her needs.

Other??