Would you appear in a swingers documentary?

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Discussing one of the many documentaries on the lifestyle and the fact that so rarely do they accurately depict the swingers that we are or know, leads me to wonder. If you were given the opportunity to appear in a documentary on swinging would you do so?

 

If so, what stipulations would you have? Would you want your face hidden?

 

If not, what would your reasons be? kids? family? privacy? all of the above and more?

[biblonde 22]

If not, what would your reasons be? kids? family? privacy? all of the above and more?

 

All of the above, and because every time there is something on swinging it is always dipicted as "Bad", "perverted"...etc.. I wouldnt want to be a part of that. Even in regular tv, if there is a story line where there is swinging involved they always portray them as evil, perverts.

[Greg & Sheryl 369]

Sheryl has already appeared in a documentary about swinging. Several years ago, she and her previous husband were featured in “The Lifestyle: Group Sex in the Suburbs”. They were shown at their home in Littleton, Colorado preparing to host a house party. We don’t have any children and we’ve always been very open about our lifestyle. We are quite proud to let our faces be shown on such a program.

[Alura 2,775]

I voted "I really don't know" but would have preferred to vote, "I doubt it."

 

While it would be fulfilling to be a part of a documentary showing swinging in a favorable light, the chances of that happening are remote.

 

In any case, if we agreed to be interviewed on camera, to be shown on vanilla TV, we'd want one of those darkened profile shots with our voices disguised. We live in Oklahoma, y'know.

[TNT 1,155]

We voted yes IF it was done the right way and showed swingers in the light they should be shown. Or only stipulation right now for a T.V. documentary would be to have the faces blocked, just for the kids sake...once they are all grown and making their own way in the world we really don't care who knows. We have appeared in brochures for swingers events and thought it was pretty cool.

[Brit_Pair 62]

Given the options, we plumped for 'No Way'. We've no desire to be notorious or famous (not for swinging, anyway), and given that on the whole we're still a repressed, judgemental and (at times) rabidly puritanical species, we prefer to preserve a measure of anonymity.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

Brit_Pair said:

Given the options, we plumped for 'No Way'. We've no desire to be notorious or famous (not for swinging, anyway), and given that on the whole we're still a repressed, judgemental and (at times) rabidly puritanical species, we prefer to preserve a measure of anonymity.

 

Exactly my reasons for voting No Way .

 

In addition, as I mentioned elsewhere on the board this morning, I have little faith in the people behind the making of TV documentaries.

[HotCoupleGnS 21]

I voted no way for us. But then given some more thought to it, if our faces were blocked out & our identity was kept private, I might.

[wrnakedru 38]

I voted "really not sure".

 

I admit to the same doubts regarding equitable presentation. I don't think that's a likely happening .. even if such were attempted, I don't think it would make it to the small screen. The topic is just too "politically and morally HOT" for any network or groups of sponsors to attempt it, regardless what their personal feelings might be.

 

IF, against those odds, it was being done ... and all indications were it was being handled in such a way to show the facts, MAYBE then with the qualifiers of anonymity. I would think many of us have made the mistake of discussing the topic with someone we thought was open-minded enough to be able to understand, only to get a VERY different reaction than anticipated. Even those who might accept your right to the choice [one on one] have been known via 'mob mentality' to present a differing and adamant view in public.

 

We say frequently that everyone does things differently, all have different goals and methods for attaining them. So although I resent others representing "us all" [on any topic] as if they have been empowered to do so, I would not wish to take it upon myself to speak for any other than myself.

 

Unfortunately, most shows I've seen with "real live swingers" have been guys who have their shirts unbuttoned to their navels with multiple gold chains displayed and females whose appearance was only a [baby] step above street walkers with clothing and makeup more suited to that profession. I've never met folks with that kind of appearance, although I suppose there probably are some. Certainly, if I'd been in on voting for my representative, THEY would not have gotten my vote.

 

I am curious, too. I am not familiar with the program mentioned by Greg and Sheryl. What network did that show? Was it shown nationally? Sheryl, were you satisfied with the program's portrayal of lifestylers? Did the production company stay true to what they presented to you that the program was going to be? What kind of feedback were you aware of that the show received? [Do you think less of the those of us who have said NO or wanted to be anonymous?]

[NightGoddess 16]

No Way! People who swing have gotten such bad air play out here in California due to that child-homicide (little girl murdered on the night her parents were swinging)-- it's an immediate reputation-killer. As if the parents somehow deserved or caused the tragedy....sad social reaction, but true.

[good times 991]

I voted "no Way!" because I've had previous experiences with this type of thing in an activity not related to swinging. A reporter for the New York Times was going to do an article that he claimed would show our activity in a good light to counter some bad press we had been getting. He said all the right things to make us believe that that was what he was going to do but when the article came out he slammed us pretty hard (myself and one other interviewee in particular). He didn't say anything bad about us but by quoting us out of context and making stereotypical comments about us his article basically supported the other bad press we had previously received. I vowed then and there never to believe that a reporter would go against the flow again even if they do buy me a steak dinner at the best restaurant in town while they do the interview (common entrapment technique used by reporters "why don't you let the New York Times buy you dinner while I ask you a few questions", yeah, I am a sucker free food).

[VegasLee 1,486]

I almost feel like Julie is baiting me bringing this subject up. She knows how I feel about this and of course voted YES!

 

Swingers now are where gays where 20 years ago. Only the wild flaming gays would step up and speak at that time. Now you have gay mayors and other important people speaking up for what they believe in. Difference is that to many in the "Lifestyle" this is a hobby and not really a Lifestyle. Most people in the Lifestyle are NOT swingers. I understand those that this is a hobby to wanting to stay hidden and in the closet. There is many of us though that live this lifestyle for more then just the sex. There is MUCH more to it then that.

 

There was a radio show by the number two station in Vegas this morning and they where talking about swing clubs. Someone that was listening to it sent me a message that there was ALOT of BS being talked about and misinformation being said so I had to tune in and of course had to call in. They gave me about ten minutes of air time to give them facts rather then the BS that was being called in by people that had only dreamed of going to a swing club but had no idea what they where talking about. Guess I did a decent job, they stopped taking other callers after I called in. I love LIVE shows, does not give them the chance to edit or change what you say.

 

We will always take a bad rap and be portrayed in a bad light by the fringe groups until we come out of the closet and show the world what we are really about. What sells better on the news? A bunch of perverts that have sex all day or upstanding people that enjoy the company of others?

 

The last day of the Lifestyles convention in Vegas, July 11th Playboy TV is going to come to the Vegas Red Rooster and spend 10 hours with everyone. We are going to close off part of the house just for them so the only ones that they will get to talk to and film are those that WANT to be involved. This is going to give us a chance to give them real and honest information. As we all know, Playboy shows everything they do over 100 times in reruns so we will get the word out. This is a very small step but it is a step. Anyone that is going to be in town for the convention and wants to get involved in this project please get in touch with me and I will give you the details.

[Greg & Sheryl 369]

wrnakedru said:

I am curious, too. I am not familiar with the program mentioned by Greg and Sheryl. What network did that show? Was it shown nationally? Sheryl, were you satisfied with the program's portrayal of lifestylers? Did the production company stay true to what they presented to you that the program was going to be? What kind of feedback were you aware of that the show received? [Do you think less of the those of us who have said NO or wanted to be anonymous?]

 

To our knowledge, this documentary has never been shown on television, which gives weight to your belief that balanced portrayals of the lifestyle are unlikely to make it to the small screen. However, although the broadcast networks are unlikely to give swinging any serious treatment, premium cable channels are usually pretty open about alternative lifestyles. HBO’s “Real Sex” is one series that takes a positive look at unique facets of human sexuality.

 

This documentary was shown mainly in art theaters back in 2000 and is currently available on VHS and DVD. The only thing that Sheryl did not like about the movie was that it was filmed at a time when she was considerably overweight. Sheryl’s first impression of director David Schisgall was a positive one, even though Schisgall admitted in a subsequent interview that he was hoping to uncover the “unseemly underbelly” of the lifestyle when he started the project.

 

The project did not get very good reviews. Unfortunately, many of these reviews focused on the subjects of the film rather than the film itself. A common complaint was that the subjects were so old and unattractive that it was unpleasant to see them having sex (the documentary showed several swing parties in progress). One reviewer pointed out the dearth of minority faces at the parties, and accused the subjects of hypocrisy in accepting bisexuality in females while rejecting it in males. While non-swingers may not have enjoyed the film for these reasons, as swingers we thought the portrayal of the lifestyle was pretty positive. Contrary to the fantasies of many people, not all swingers are young and beautiful. The film did a good job of representing swingers as normal people.

 

We don’t think less of anyone in the lifestyle who chooses to remain anonymous. We respect the fact that many of us in the lifestyle have to remain anonymous for personal or professional reasons. In fact, one couple we know (good friends who actually attended our wedding in 2002) recently stopped attending lifestyle events within our state after the male half received a critical promotion.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

VegasLee said:

...to many in the "Lifestyle" this is a hobby and not really a Lifestyle. Most people in the Lifestyle are NOT swingers. I understand those that this is a hobby to wanting to stay hidden and in the closet.

 

VegasLee

 

I'd like to know how you differentiate between "hobby" and "lifestyle?" Since I'm just starting out, it would help me to know how an experienced swinger, as yourself, defnes these terms.

 

Also, WHAT are most people in the Lifestyle, if they are "NOT swingers?" (I'm not being sarcastic here.) Looking for a general understanding.

 

If swinging is a HOBBY, you stay hidden, if swinging is a LIFESTYLE, you make yourself known; this is what I gather from the last sentence I quoted above. Explain this too.

 

 

Quote

There is many of us though that live this lifestyle for more then just the sex. There is MUCH more to it then that.

 

I agree. I think most people who post would too. What is the "MUCH more" that is most important to you in the swinging lifestyle?

 

Looking forward to your reply.

[VegasLee 1,486]

VegasLee

 

I'd like to know how you differentiate between "hobby" and "lifestyle?" Since I'm just starting out, it would help me to know how an experienced swinger, as yourself, defnes these terms.

 

There are many "swingers" or people in the "Lifestyle" that may party a few times a year or less. This is something that most do very part time.

 

Some of us live it more out then others as our lifestyle. More involved in it then just getting together once a month with someone to have sex. It is what we live each and every day. Not just once in awhile at a club.

 

In my view, and in our case personally. We try to educate both those in and outside of the lifestyle on what the lifestyle is really about. Not what the general public thinks we are. We live our life very open. Our kids are aware of how we live and so is anyone that knows us. No, we dont bring it up to everyone we meet but we also do not hide or dodge questions.

 

I am one that writes for sites, papers and magizines, is on T.V. news and radio about not just swingers but all lifestyles. I have spent my own personal money for years on attorney's and court cases to defend the rights of all lifestyles and other personal rights that we enjoy in the United States. I show up at meeting where laws are being discussed to help preserve our rights and the rights of others that desire to live their own life without having others rule over them because they are different then the norm.

 

A more simple example. A lady that plays with other ladies once in a while is doing so for fun and pleasure but it does not make her a lesbian. (a hobby as we are discussing.) A women that lives her life loving a women for all her life is a lesbian, not a hobby or for a moment of pleasure.

 

Even though I am not explaining it all that well, that is the big differences to me of people that are swingers by hobby or living a lifestyle.

 

 

Also, WHAT are most people in the Lifestyle, if they are "NOT swingers?" (I'm not being sarcastic here.) Looking for a general understanding.

 

This is just my view. There is Ten's if not hunderds of thousands of people now that state they are in the "Lifesyle". Term from thirty years ago coined to replace the term of Swingers. Fact is that MOST people that go to many of the clubs, and even to convention do not Swing. They do not and will not ever exchange partners or play with anyone outside of their own relationship. Some say that number of non-swingers at major gatherings is as high as 75% to 80%. When I say Swinger I refer to what it was used years ago, people that swapped or had sex with others outside of their own relationship.

 

If swinging is a HOBBY, you stay hidden, if swinging is a LIFESTYLE, you make yourself known; this is what I gather from the last sentence I quoted above. Explain this too.

 

As with the gays that I have known for years, I would wish for all people that live the Lifestyle would come out of the closet. That is when we will have our rights and be able to show the world that we are not the bad people we are made out to be. As they are finding in AZ. where they are out lawing the swing clubs, Most of the "hobby" people are not willing to go to city council meets and stand up and say "Hey, we want our clubs" yet they want the right to have them. Most of the people that have shown up there, and in court are the ones that are willing to come out and stand up for their rights and the rights of all those in the closet. Most people do not come out, as with the Lesbians and the Gays. They all have their own reason and I do not down people for not coming out. I would like more to come out, fighting for rights is always easier when there is more people expressing the desire to live this way.

 

I agree. I think most people who post would too. What is the "MUCH more" that is most important to you in the swinging lifestyle?

 

I think in many ways I have answered some of this above. I am one that stands up for rights, to me this is part of MY lifestyle that I enjoy and live daily. Not just sexual choice rights but also free speech rights and others.

 

I have a great relationship with Laura. Many don't understand it, some swingers don't even understand it all the time. We have a trust level that I can not even start to explain. I am not sure we even know what jealousy is.

 

We do our best to never make our life difficult when it comes to our lifestyle. Keeping things simple. I do not care if someone likes dogs or mexican food before I have sex with them at a club or party. I have all that with Laura. I am not looking for a relationship outside of the one I have with her. What they do for a living, how long they been married or how many times they been married means nothing to us. It is none of our business. IF and only IF they ever become our friend, then there is things that matter to us. We have many friends and since I am so out spoken and blunt that even surprises me at times. I know that I have no desire to mix my desire to have sex with other people and my relationships from the outset.

 

Many say and I have seen it even posted on this board over the years that no one is infringing on their rights. They can do what they want when they want. Those are people that really have not looked around. In many towns and states in this country the swing clubs, parties, strip bars and many other adult things are under attack. Things that many take for granted.

 

This is the more that is important to me. There is much more but to be honest, I am not that great at putting it here on a board. I have given many talks and seminars about all this and will do more. Maybe someday you can come question me there, I would love to answer anything I can.

 

These are my feelings, thoughts and opinions. Does not mean they are right or wrong for you as it does not make me right or wrong for feeling the way I do. One of the great things about this Lifestyle. It is what works for YOU!

 

There is no spell check here so please forgive things.

[BradAndJanet 70]

I agree with what VegasLee and others have said and I've changed my position somewhat on this issue (which may surprise a few people ) We should stand up and be counted, or things will never change.

 

However, I'll wait until my children are adults before I 'come out of the closet'. Considering the state of things involving CPS, etc., I wouldn't take that risk at the moment.

 

I honestly haven't asked J about it and she's already expressed concerned about what the state Nursing Board would think. That's probably an unfounded fear, but she would want to check it out, I'm sure. Washington seems to be a bit more liberal than Ohio, too, and in a couple of years, that's where we'll be.

 

I do have reservations, as some have said, about whether any TV documentary could possibly be accurate and honest. They're in the business of titillation and the truth simply isn't exciting enough most of the time.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

VegasLee

 

Thanks for your response.

 

From the start I decided that I can't be embarrassed or ashamed of swinging if I am going to swing. There are couples who have contacted us who haven't come to terms with their decision; I see this as a "weak link" that one day will break.

 

I was surprised to hear you say that most people who attend swing clubs or conventions don't swap partners. (True swinging, as you describe it, means swapping.) So I have learned there are more voyeurs and exhibitionist than swingers.

 

Who knows, I may become an activist for swinging in the years to come.

[Alura 2,775]

LikeMinds321 said:

 I'd like to know how you differentiate between "hobby" and "lifestyle?"

 

I'm not VegasLee, whose answer will probably be much more informed, but I'd say we've always considered our play to be a hobby rather than a lifestyle.

 

To us, a "lifestyle" is something a couple lives; a "hobby" is something they probably do more rarely and it takes on less importance than a lifestyle. We've been out of the lifestyle far more than we've been in it over the past twenty-four years.

 

I'm sure the two terms overlap, depending on the couple defining them.

[Alura 2,775]

Quote

Even though I am not explaining it all that well, that is the big differences to me of people that are swingers by hobby or living a lifestyle.

 

On the contrary, Vegas Lee, you explained it brilliantly. Thank you!

[PLZUREZONE 15]

NO WAY!! I keep everything as low key as possible...Just wouldn't even consider it.

[midnight hour 16]

NightGoddess said:

No Way! People who swing have gotten such bad air play out here in California due to that child-homicide (little girl murdered on the night her parents were swinging)-- it's an immediate reputation-killer. As if the parents somehow deserved or caused the tragedy....sad social reaction, but true.

 

Oh I hated the way they were put on trial for their private lives...then not long after that Judging Amy had a show where it showed couples in the kids bedrooms and them hiding in the closet I was not *even* thinking about the lifestyle then...it just burned me up in general...

I would have to vote no because of my children..they have special needs and there is no way I would take a chance on some ya-hoo getting it in their heads that because we have a free thinking sexually that we also are into child molestation.. As much as I would like to try to put a positive spin on things, even though I have only delved so far, it would not be possible.

[frenzb4sex 15]

Vegas Lee has really struck a chord with me on this, and I am very proud of what he represents for our group. While I think that a vast majority of people that are swingers would have a hard time living up to the vision of what he says are "true lifestylers", we all have, to an extent, gone beyond the social boundaries to at least experiment with things that many people would shake their head at. That, in itself, takes a lot of courage, from a relationship standpoint, from a societal standpoint, and from a conscience standpoint. I am sure we would all love to be able to live the life that Vegas Lee has discussed, it would be so cool!!!!

 

I agree that his analogy of gays 20 years ago is the same "place" that the lifestyle is at, but I think one thing that is not parallel to this is that homosexuals, in my opinion, have become a much more acceptable side of society because of what I feel to be a mimicking of what society already accepts--and that is loving one another deeply, having monogamous relationships, and of course the marriage issue that has been a hot topic as of late. Because the nature of our lifestyle is and always be sexually based, no matter what angle you look at it as, I don't know that if coming out of the closet, so to speak, would really EVER change the societal view of things. Even though many people have argued that homosexuality is a "sin", as they would swinging, I don't think the sheer fact that so many people have come out has been what has changed the face of the stereotypical gay/lesbian--it's this "mainstreaming" of their relationships so that it's seen as normal by everyone.

 

We know that the media always strikes up the angle as to which will sell--sex sells, and the view/vision of what swingers are just like WR mentioned, will unfortunately be a stigma that is attached to us. We are a culture that is built on fear--for any of you that have seen "Bowling for Columbine", even though I think some of it to be radically extremist, it builds a point of how we are channeled by what our media portrays things as. For now, we all know that TV shows or movies or documentaries still stare at us through the glass as though we are a strange science experiment gone wrong. News reporters still take hidden cameras into clubs to see the "dark side"...and as long as that still occurs, we will never fully be seen for what we are, and that is, for the vast majority, very caring people who are in wonderful relationships with both their spouses and friends that enjoy the same interests.

 

I very much would like to be able to have the courage that some of you have, to tell all my friends, to tell all of my family. But I also know of the repercussions that can happen, and I am not willing to sacrifice that for the good of "standing up". There are two reasons behind this--1) I actually kind of like leading the "double agent" life. I mean, I can sit and talk about things and people can say things, and I can snicker inside thinking "If you only knew...." To me, having that kind of secretness about me--I actually enjoy. 2) Those that are gay/lesbian, because they obviously lead a life of 100% in that fashion, had more and more pressure to come out of the closet, because if they didn't, they couldn't do ANYTHING that would be construed as that, from the word go. As lifestylers, this is something that is extra to our already great lives (for many of us) we lead of friends, marriages, children, whatever--and this extra side of life is our right to have as private--just like what we make a year, or the inner relationships we may have with our SO. It's no one's business but our own--I am not going to just tell someone that we swing on a regular basis just like I wouldn't tell them that my wife and I argue constantly every day about everything (this is just hypothetical).

 

We all know deep down inside that this society of swingers grows every day. We already have our ways of communicating (like through this board itself which is an AWESOME outlet) with each other, hooking up with each other, and having a great time. If people find out that I am a swinger, fine. I can't change what they think about things if they don't like it. If they don't know I am a swinger, fine as well. Like I said, I would love to be able to do what Vegas Lee does on a daily basis--that is great that he is that passionate about this and fights for rights that I am sure I take for granted every day. I am not apathetic to what the situation he describes, I guess I still take a "glass half empty" approach to the fact that we are a very long way from societal understanding, and simply standing up and being counted I think still won't make a difference, in the short term.

[HappyPeople 17]

I don't think that we'd participate in a documentary on swinging mostly because I feel very akward on camera. I can talk, and talk, and talk but put a camera near me and I stutter and am obviously uncomfortable with it. I'd hate to appear on a video for the public looking so uncomfortable.

 

Oddly enough, we're making a sex video for/with good friends tomorrow. I wouldn't have ever thought of doing so but it's for good pals and I know that even if I stutter, they are cool enough to look past it.

[flkeyscouple 21]

I said 'I don't really know' but like Mr. Alura said in 2004 when this thread started - I would have checked 'I doubt it' had that choice been available.

 

IF we were to be interviewed it would be with our voices changed and in shadow. Although saying that after reading VegasLee almost makes me feel guilty. In his definition swinging is just a hobby for Roger and me... not a lifestyle. Although until I read his definitions I have always said that we are 'part of the lifestyle'. But if the city/county were holding a hearing about closing down swinging clubs in our area would I attend? Not at this stage in my life... sorry to say. I know Roger would loose his job, and I would loose the respect of the conservative crowd that I work for. Not to mention our children - even though they are grown. Actually I would rather have our children know than my parents or siblings. What a straight, religious, and conservative group I come from.

 

Great thread for really getting me thinking. I'm so glad that all these conversations from YEARS ago are still here for our learning.

 

Sarah

[SouthBond 18]

OK, hire lower pay scale porno actors. They don't mind having their face all over the big screen.

[sereneiders 263]

I voted "I don't know", because with some basic privacy preservation face covered) it'd be ok.

 

However, I know this local couple who agreed to be interviewed for a documentary, provided they faces would be covered and the names wouldn't be said. The producers agreed, but didn't commit: they showed their faces and gave their name, last name, and the city and neighborhood where they live.

 

They had to face their relatives, the neighboors, everyone knowing about them. They thought of sue the producers, but from the lenght of such a trial they were adived to let it go. The damage was already done, with some time most people would forget their faces, but since this was for a weekly show, they were risking the producers to make public the trial and make a "follow up" on TV, which could be much worst, and they could make more money from the show than what they'd had to pay after the sue.

 

So, once watching these folks on TV and after knowing the whole story, I'd pass.

[telly2 15]

Yes I would no prob. We live this lifestyle fairly openly, our oldest child is in the know and our youngest are to little to understand it anyway.

 

I/ We are of the adage, if you are going to do something own it. So thus yes we would, the more info out there about it the less taboo it would be. We aren't committing murder, we are just sharing our bodies in a safe environment and enjoying it. So how are we as a community any different than the vanilla's out there who are sleeping around and don't have to hide. We just have an SO as well as "friends" that is all.

[Amanda69 24]

No wouldn't do it. Then again I wouldn't go on TV or video to talk about any other topic either so why should the Lifestyle be any different. We are private people and all aspects of our life remain so.

[Darkblue 55]

We voted no, but also saying that I wouldn't have a problem with it but I would need to have my face voice disguised as I have a lot of contact to a lot of people!!

 

And my kids don't need to know about our private life...

[cupl4fun 361]

Maybe should have been an option here. If they blocked out our faces and changed our voices I think we would but right now that's a big if.

[lustylearning 705]

Sure, provided that my face could be replaced with a Mr. Sunshine and my voice with that of one Alvin and the Chipmunks. I think that would be pretty funny

[widowerman 55]

I’d do it and my reasons are self centered. First off, I’m not married, hence my handle, so I could not embarrass my wife, like I could anyway. But I would not “perform” for the cameras. I’d answer questions honestly and when I mean honestly I mean no prefabs about constant sex, we all know that is not the case, just like the vanillas in their lives, our sex is sometimes there and at other times a “no play date”. As for it being depicted as evil and bad, and as one nut job said, “It’s in the bible that says it is bad”, I offer war, pestilence, loss of human rights and all the true evils that for some unknown reason are accepted in this world as truly evil in direct contrast of adult sex. I mean boys and girls after your play dates do you form a circle, bring out the plans placing them on the floor with the dynamite and nail bombs and chant, “Death to America” Death to Israel” “Death to the non-Believer” ? Nah, I didn’t think so. So what is evil and wrong about sex and loving I ask again and again and again? And I’m still looking in that holy of holies, in whatever bible you choose about swingers. I see concubines, that guy with a bunch of wives, sex slaves, sex with a maiden because you own her and such, and all of this is sanctioned by some God in those holy of holies. So just exactly where is that condemnation about swinging again in those books of great knowledge? I read about, murder, war, condemning to death for stealing a goat, rape and every evil you can imagine in such a bestseller but not one word about swinging. So like I said, let’s get this record straight once and for all. The only apparent evil about swinging appears to be not enough parties!

 

As for my family “finding” out, what would I care? I mean come on boys and girls, did anyone ever ask you if you had sex with your significant other? I didn’t think so. I don’t think my kids are ever going to ask me what I did with their mother in bed, how I got her to do this, and me doing that, and don’t forget how she really liked this!, it’s just something no one is really comfortable talking about. I don’t ask what they do in their sex lives and I’m sure no one will ask me. I’m just not that open.

 

However, I know a man who swings with his wife and often times this man’s sisters also swing at the same party. No, they don’t swing together, but they could be in the same room getting, how do you kids say it, getting their groove on. Now that is openness! Glasnost in its true meaning. I couldn’t do that! I guess I’m a prude. But then again, I’ve really only being in this lifestyle not even a year yet. My partner has a similar situation that this man I just talked about has. Her son is a swinger, he has a wife who does not swing, a girlfriend the wife knows about who swings – without the wife knowing that part of the story, and her son also has a mistress who swings with him and his girlfriend. The wife is not aware of the mistress. What a guy! So perhaps, sex drive runs in the family. I don’t know, that’s for some anthropologist to study.

 

So yes, I’d participate in a swinger’s documentary, even with my limited experience I’d think I’d have something to bring to the table. As for my self centered motives, I’d figure since I’m a single male who can partner with my “mistress”, it would enhance my reputation and not all you other guys out there, I want to be that What a Guy!. Now if I could only lose those damn 15lbs.

 

That’s my 2 Kopecks for what it’s worth.

[jgal 15]

I said I'm not sure, because even though I would most likely do it, I'm pretty sure my husband would be set against it! He is a lot more private than I am and he's the reason we are hardly involved anymore. He still enjoys the playtime we get, but is less of the one to initiate it

[celtic239 297]

In a perfect world a "documentary" is suppose to put facts before the viewer and let them make a decision based on those facts. I voted NO WAY because I don't trust "mainstream" organizations that produce documentaries because they usually have some agenda that is contrary to the views of those being interviewed.

[Tia Vampire 167]

No we would not because of our children and jobs.

[ktimephoenix 156]

I voted for sure.

 

Nothing to hide here. Anyone watching a swinging documentary is probably more of a perve than me lol

 

However I would feel much more comfortable if I knew the angle the producer was working, and I had final say of whether to have my image used...AFTER watching the pre-release version to ensure he hit the target he told me he was aiming for.

[jimnjan 16]

I think we would, if our identity could be protected. Mainly, I wouldn't want to hurt my family (very conservative) or have my kids (even though they are adults) deal with people asking/saying things to them.

[sweet_tna 680]

Here's the thing. Appearing in a documentary about the lifestyle should, theoretically be for the purpose of showing that we're real people and not scary, lecherous, amoral, child-molesting perverts. HOWEVER, because our society is so friggin' repressed and the views on sexuality is so skewed, it's not likely a true representation would ever be filmed, much less get air time. I always found it rather ironic that sex sells on Madison Avenue, but it's not socially acceptable to talk openly about it in mixed company.

 

The whole fact that several of us would only consider it if our faces were covered/voices changed, etc. just proves my point. If our society were open enough to accept swingers/alternative lifestylers as we are, then such a documentary would be superfluous.

 

Then again, don't a lot of us enjoy it partially because it's taboo . . .? And yes, I know that's a topic for another thread - Would you enjoy it as much?

 

?

[partyof2ormore 62]

I would not do something like for one reason only: my kids.

 

I personally don't care what other people think about me, but I wouldn't want my actions to reflect on them.

[Playful1 434]

I would, I think it would be fun, and it'd be nice to be able to put my thoughts out there. But, even though I am in grad school, I am not in a position where my life would be ruined by people around me finding out. I don't really care. I don't broadcast it, but i also don't "hide" it either. If someone finds out, they find out, oh well.

[jessicat78 23]

I think it would be kinda fun to be in a documentary about swinging. Take about being and exhibitionist! Sure.

[Guest mysticon]

I might consider it, if my face was completely hidden. I wouldn't want my family knowing, because I don't think they'd understand; and would judge negatively for it. I would also still be shy about talking on camera though, just knowing that millions of people might see it.

[sahajacpl 95]

Appear in a documentary on swinging? Probably not.

Act in a true-to-life swinger movie for limited distribution, probably yes, provided our identities are effectively masked. This could be a lot of fun.