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How does swinging work for Single Guys?
By
SingleMan, in Swinging Solo
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By TeamCalgary
Hello all.
We have been engaged in the LS since Sept 2019 and have noticed a pattern in our activity; curious whether this mirrors that of many of you.
When we first began, we meet folks usually online, and occasionally in a social setting. Initially, our goal to gain a face to face meeting with the potential couple; a coffee, a drink, whatever. Looking back on it, we likely met with too many couples who were not good fits.
Now, our goal is to ascertain the "fit" earlier in the process, so that we meet fewer couples, but the ones that we do meet are, in theory at least, ideally better fits for us.
Peeling back the onion on this, it appears that we have gotten better at asking some of the dealbreaker questions upfront
(condom use, drug use, PnP, same room, play together, etc) that would help to stratify best fit earlier in the process, long before we ever potentially meet.
Red flags are also coming into play as we are now more aware of what some of these things are and how they influence what works for us, and what doesn't.
For those of you who have extensive experience in the LS, we would welcome your comments in terms of how you ascertain "fit". Is it a process or a particular step; certain questions upfront, etc?
Many thanks.
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By dccc4fun
So we are new to swinging for the most part. We've had some experiences in private with other males and females.
We are very interested in going to a swingers club but also nervous at the same time. My husband is worried about boundaries being respected and possibly pushy men. We are a secure couple so that's not the issue, we just don't want to deal with that type of behavior.
Is this a problem we might run into?
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By Trophy1802
We are heading to Cuba on May 4th and will be staying at a non-lifestyle resort. As we enjoy getting together with other couples or inviting another guy to join us for some threesome fun, we are wondering if anyone has had any luck in attracting or getting the attention of potential interested play partners at non-LS resorts?
If so, does anyone have any suggestions/tips/tricks that could help us in seeing if there are other people in the LS like us that may be willing to explore the possibility of some adult fun during our stay? After all, we are sure that we are not the only LS people that frequent non-LS resorts from time-to-time.
Thanks and all the best to all Swingersboard members.
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By MadlyInLuv
The wife and I were discussing all of our swinging meet and greet dinners that never panned out. Many of them went really well and proceeded to planning stages for a date, but then aborted close to go-time.
This could be just our perspective, but to us there seems to be a lot of people that fall into one of the following categories:
-- They are in it to try to find a female for the wife. They have failed finding a unicorn, and so they have moved to the couples category and think they can just 'figure it out' and tolerate the spouse. Some of them even imply that they center around the girl play and get dodgy about what the guys are going to do while all of this is going down.
-- The husband is clearly into it, and the wife acts into it but she doesn't interact as much. This inevitably ends in a last minute permanent flake where they disappear from the universe all of a sudden.
-- Chatters. They meet for dinner and get excited. They chat enthusiastically for sometimes weeks trying to line schedules up. Time comes around for the play date and they bail.
It's actually a welcome relief when couples figure out that our interests don't align very quickly and stop talking. That saves EVERYONE a lot of wasted time. I have a lot of regular good ol' American vanilla hobbies in my wife and I really don't want to waste weeks of energy for something that isn't going to go anywhere.
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By SimpIySexual
Okay so I feel like this is probably pretty common amongst new swingers but I need to discuss it with someone cause I feel kinda bad.
So me and my wife started swinging and have only had 2 experiences so far, both at the swing club near us. Both times me and my wife went she (a social butterfly) found someone within a couple hours and completed one of her fantasies both times.
The first time I wasn't present with her I was just outside the room in the main play room. I did this to let her try it without any pressure or influence from me.
The second time we dvp/dped her and had a lot of fun. Like 30 people stood around watching her wanting to get involved
So my problem starts a few days ago when we got into a mild argument and she said "well it's kinda fucked. You have got to see me fuck another man. I've done it twice, but you have yet to do anything with another woman."
So personally I'm an extremely shy and introverted person. She always thought I was the catch cause when we met in highschool all the girls were falling over me and I only had eyes for her. Well she walks into the club and literally everyone is looking at her. I don't have "game" shit Idk how to even flirt.
It's not because I feel bad or like I'm cheating, I could honestly give a fuck less about that sorta stuff. I just don't have the confidence to go to a woman I find attractive and shoot my shot. I grew up extremely abused and so rejection to me is something that crushes me. When you learn to never ask for anything being denied when you finally do just ends your confidence.
So really my question, is this normal for one partner to be the clear catch and able to go find partners where the other partner can't find anyone due to confidence? I dont want to make her mad because I don't ever do it but I also don't want to force myself to go fuck someone I don't even find attractive or something just to make her happy.
I am totally content in our swinging choice and everything else. This is really just one of those things I hadn't anticipated. I hate it cause I know I'm attractive. I just have 0 confidence to test it out.
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