The cheating single man

[Lips & Tongues 185]

We have been reading recently a lot about how awful it is when a married man decides to play alone, his wife not being aware of his extramarital activities, etc.

 

And strangely, the main reason you seem to dislike this behaviour is not so much for moral reasons (duh…) but because “nobody wants to have to deal with cheating dramas, etc.”

 

Well, as couple who loves MMF, we disagree. Here’s why.

 

1. There are less chances that a married man brings “feelings” into his sexual adventures than a single man. He knows and acknowledges that he is here for sex, not to find a soulmate. That is less dangerous - and boring - than the single man who falls in love. (Even if, of course, it can still happen…)
 

2. Erotically speaking, it’s very VERY exciting to know that this man chooses me against his legal wife. And

that makes my husband even more proud of me  
 

3. Being married, the guy will never stay too long. He will know his exact place and will leave precisely when the moment has come.

 

So… married cheating single men… write to us  

 

 

[Guest]

Hi , I have just registered and am a married man looking to be involved in a group. Im 58 and still feel 25 where as my wife is 53 and lost all interest in the physical side of our marriage. Men and women need different things and when you are in a relationship with no intimacy it is very difficult. Speaking for myself , I am not looking for a replacement for my wife I am looking for an alternative where I can feel real passion, excitement and arousal. I don't want to fall in love again and think a high percentage of cheating men would agree with me.

[njbm 2,870]

Not into the cheating husband scene. Morally wrong and unfair to the cheated upon spouse. Invites drama, how bout the wife showing up at your tryst, screaming or shooting. A zillion single guys willing to perform the same tasks. 
 

If a person is in a loveless and/or non-sexual marriage, they have to consider their alternatives, such as divorce. You can’t have it both ways by cheating. It will be uncovered and you will be faced with the same decision in an uglier scenario. 

[NerdsAreFun 226]

I question their understanding of consent if they are willing to potentially bring something back to their unknowing partner.

[NWAtlSwing 522]

28 minutes ago, njbm said:

Not into the cheating husband scene. Morally wrong and unfair to the cheated upon spouse. Invites drama, how bout the wife showing up at your tryst, screaming or shooting. A zillion single guys willing to perform the same tasks. 
 

If a person is in a loveless and/or non-sexual marriage, they have to consider their alternatives, such as divorce. You can’t have it both ways by cheating. It will be uncovered and you will be faced with the same decision in an uglier scenario. 

Yeah, this is where we are. Fidelity is key to the lifestyle for us. Violating someone's marriage is not what we want.

[enhancer 1,585]

We don’t play with cheaters, because we think it is a narcissistic trait and we both have a strong dislike for narcissistic people!  Definitely do not find narcissistic people attractive in any way.  We also believe in karma and have no interest in being in situations that brings bad karma to all involved. Knowingly being part of someone betraying the one they are supposed to love and be loyal to is bad karma.  We may not know their spouse, but that doesn’t mean we are okay with causing another person emotional pain regardless of who they are.

 

She also doesn’t feel sexy or attractive if an attached guy hits her up, because they are more then likely hitting up anyone and everyone they can trying to find someone to help accomplish their self centered goals.  Shitty people will use anyone to get what they want.

 

 

[discreetplay 235]

The OP makes a couple good points (#1 and #3). 

 

If the point for Lips & Tongues is to have a threesome, a married man who just wants to have sex and bail is a better option than a man who may bring feelings. There is a lot of potential drama if/when the wife finds out. I guess being in a swinger environment rather than meeting in another means (e.g. someone from work, an actual acquaintance, etc), you can keep personal info to yourselves (e.g. meet at a hotel rather than your home) so the wife wouldn't be able to show up and boil your rabbit.

 

 

 

On 3/29/2022 at 4:42 AM, Lips & Tongues said:

Well, as couple who loves MMF

I find it interesting that Lips & Tongues noted they're a couple who "loves MMF". Are you finding married men who engage with your husband?

 

 

[Aphroditee 323]

I can see those argument from both sides.  10 years back I was a bit poly, I was then seriously dating my current husband but still had side relationships.  One day at a bar I met an extremely attractive woman named Allison at a gay bar and we connected, the chemistry was amazing.  We danced and drank till the bar shut down.  At the end of the evening we went back to my place and had an intense night of sex.  We hung out the next day and exchanged numbers.  I told her everything about me.  I thought she told me everything about her.  We started casually dating each other which turned into seriously dating and she was my girlfriend for over 6 months.  One night I was out with my man and I saw her at the bar.  So I went over to grab her and see if she wanted to join us.  I walked up and said hey sexy and went to kiss her only to see her jerk back in horror.   She quickly kissed me on the cheek and then I heard a guy say "who is this?"  She turned and introduced me as a friend to the guy and said to me "This is my husband, Michael."  I was floored and deeply emberaced.  Watching her jerk away from me in fear of getting caught hurt.  I loved her.  It was hard for me to get over.  So I agree with the no cheaters rule.

 

But I currently engage in Hotwife activities.  When I pick up a guy I'm often traveling for work so I'm out of my town.  I meet guys at the hotel bars generally and I have found my share of traveling business men with the wedding ring.  I never ask if they have permission, it adds to the experience.  It makes it a little more wicked or naughty.  I never tell them I have permission.  If they ask about my wedding ring I ask them "Why do you want to know?  Do you know him?  Are you friends?  Are you worried about hurting his feelings?"  The answer is always "no" and then we bone. I never feel bad, I don't exchange numbers, I don't even give them my real name.  So in that scenario cheaters work for me.  

 

 

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

Lips & Tongues, you're started an interesting thread I disagree with your position, but I respect it. I don't consider you 'wrong' because I have a different perspective.

 

For us, a cheater is a 100% deal breaker. It's just our approach to life in general. I don't like dealing with dishonest, morally bankrupt people, and neither does my wife. Knowing that a potential play partner is cheating is a 100000% turn off.

[Rock n Tits 186]

And could be a liability financially if sued by the spouce . Rare but does happen

[Jane1902 476]

It seems there is either okay with it or not at all. While I do appreciate Aphroditee’s perspective of no emotional connection it’s okay it comes across as long as she’s not emotionally hurt. There are some single men in the lifestyle that are amazing and understand boundaries. Unfortunately plenty of people are not even honest with their own self first and dishonesty is a part of their lifestyle.

[NoAngels 334]

We aren’t Angels! When a post mentions the morality of cheating I wonder whose morality. Swinging goes against the majority’s morality. A cheating husband or a cheating wife lives life to a different morality. I know my wife has sex with others, almost all the men are married. For her it is sex, nothing more. She isn’t looking for love or relationships. I know because I meet married women. 
The OP states a partner picks them over the legal partner, I disagree. The partner picks you in addition to the spouse. 
We talk about the why’s, we have sex at home why look for others? The same reason everyone here looks, variety, something new, something different. Not every meeting is great but it is different. 
A woman I meet a few times a year says she loves her husband and they have sex three times a week, very good sex. Both of us just having fun together. 
My wife has more partners, no long term partners. She told me she enjoys newness. As we have accepted our extramarital meetings she is very open to give details. Some of the men say sex at home is monotonous, they have sexual freedom with her. 
To the last point

On 3/29/2022 at 4:42 AM, Lips & Tongues said:

Being married, the guy will never stay too long. He will know his exact place and will leave precisely when the moment has come.

She swears by that point. 

[cplnuswing 4,713]

I agree this is an interesting topic and worthy of discussion. I also can totally see where logistically, a married man would make a good swing partner for all the reasons stated. Personally, we'd still pass though.

 

 

1 hour ago, NoAngels said:

 When a post mentions the morality of cheating I wonder whose morality. Swinging goes against the majority’s morality.

The only morality we care about is ours. Everyone is of course entitled to have their own, but how we judge is situation is what dictates what we might or might not do. I think that holds true across all swingers, because like you say, if you are living your life following the majority on this subject, you wouldn't be swinging.

[NerdsAreFun 226]

We're not hiring a P.I. to verify a guy isn't cheating.  But wouldn't knowingly choose one who is.  For us the difference between cheating and swinging is consent.  And not all parties potentially being exposed to STDs have consented in a cheating situation.