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So my wife and I had our first swinging experience last week. It started off as two couples just having sex in the same room and then we all agreed to swap partners. Knowing my wife’s concerns with jealousy I confirmed probably 7 times that it’s something she wanted to do and was comfortable with it. I know in retrospect this conversation should have happened before. We each had sex with the other couple twice and all was well and good until the next day. My wife is incredibly upset and regrets our decision. I fully support her decision that she does not want to do it again and have made it clear this changes nothing and love her with all of my heart. The helpful thing is we will likely never see this couple again as we met them on vacation in a different state. She struggles with the fact that I am not jealous that she had sex with another guy. In fact I told her it turned me on. I no way is she blaming me or the other couple but she’s really hurting. Any advice? Or do I just continue to let her know I’m here for her and let her go through the grieving process? Thanks.

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The mistake was to say you were not jealous :) 
You could have said "I'm super jealous, but that's part of the 
excitement ;-)"

and you should have had private sex with her immediately afterwards.

 

Now... the only thing that will "repair" this is beautiful moments of private lovemaking. 

As soon as possible.

And while at it, whisper in her ears that you were super jealous. That's what she wants to hear.

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Is she upset, because you are not jealous or is it, because she is jealous and you or not?

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@enhancer I think the main point is mainly just jealousy of me having sex with another woman. I don’t think it helped that the other woman came a few times and was very complimentary which I appreciated. My wife did not so somewhat of a different experience. I think the me not being jealous part is a minor part of the issue. She told me she really thought it wouldn’t be an issue and struggles that she can’t get me having sex with another women out of her head. Lips & tongues had a great idea in sharing that I was in fact jealous which makes it even hotter. Maybe that will change her mindset. I just want to comfort here as I know she’s hurting. 

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I think she will get over it as time passes. She is one of the great majority of people for whom swinging is a bridge too far. Using the other posters’ advice, you may be on the road to role playing gold. Just be careful, your wife is sensitive to certain hot buttons. 

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Our advice is be honest and talk. Nobody is wrong, look at both sides before opening your mouth. How will they take your comment? 

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Username87, I'm sorry this experience turned out the way it did.

 

There's no easy way through this. With time, patience, and love the edges of this will be smoothed out.

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19 hours ago, Username87 said:

@enhancer I think the main point is mainly just jealousy of me having sex with another woman. I don’t think it helped that the other woman came a few times and was very complimentary which I appreciated. My wife did not so somewhat of a different experience.

Unfortunately even in the lifestyle a lot of men are lousy fucks.  That's something that has come up with us as well.  Jealousy of the physical aspect of the experience itself.  We've had some who either did not go down or were just terrible at it despite instruction.  As well as just some that were just passive and wanted her on top exclusively or some lazy sideways sex.  Or were simply overwhelmed and could not get/stay hard.  While those things can be OK and managed longer term.  Not exactly what you want out of a one time hookup.

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You shouldn't have changed your rules in the middle of a sexual situation...but that horse has left the barn. I only point this out for others who may read it in the future. Some people are just not wired for swinging. They WANT to let their partner have the experience but they aren't really ready for it to really happen. That's why you set limits and rules and need to stick to them. The enemy of jealousy is trust. Changing the rules can be taken as a violation of that trust and that she has now given you 'permission' to have sex with any woman you want. Also, to most people sex = love and they have a very hard time separating the two...but sex is just sex.

 

You asked for advice: let her know that while you enjoyed the experience, her feelings are more important than having sex with someone else and it will never happen again. Tell her you love her even more for her willingness to try this...that it was the most special gift that could be given to you. Let her know that you will never suggest doing it again unless she brings it back up. Then spend the rest of your life letting her know how much she means to you.

 

If, at some point, she does come back to this again, then take baby steps and stick to the rules that you set, but she needs to KNOW that everything is in her total control. She may not ever want to return here, but if she does, she's the boss. She needs to know that she is and always will be your number 1 and can trust you completely. Swinging is a bonus, not anything that you need or necessarily want to have. You need and want her, and anything else is a bonus. Good luck and let us know how things go for you two.

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I agree with everything Gold Co Couple wrote above, with one caveat:

 

Love is defined by the people feeling it. For many, most I would reckon, sex really does equal love. That is their reality. 

 

And not all swingers entirely separate sex from love. Ann and I very much feel our sexuality/sensuality shared between us is a physical expression of our love for each other.

 

However, we also know that not all forms of our sexual expression revolve around love. For us, not all sex is the same. That is our reality. 

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10 hours ago, AndrewandAnn said:

Having sex with someone outside of marriage has ruined far more relationships than it has enhanced. That is simple fact. In most relationships, the fantasy of having sex with someone other than your spouse should stay exactly that--a fantasy.

If you include cheaters in that, it's likely accurate.

 

  

10 hours ago, AndrewandAnn said:

Despite the impression you may find on this sight, it is a rare couple that is secure enough with themselves, their spouses, and their relationship, to allow repeated sexual contact with people outside of their marriage and still keep their marriage intact. And, just like in the vanilla community, the incidence of divorce among swinging couples is quite high.

The implication I'm getting from this is an assertion that swingers have an artificially induced higher divorce rate because of having sex outside of marriage? If I'm reading that right, do you have any evidence to back that up?

 

Entirely anecdotal; in 14 years of being in the lifestyle, I'm aware of just one couple that divorced.

 

   

10 hours ago, AndrewandAnn said:

If she can't shake these intense feelings within the next week or so, pick up the phone and schedule some time with a therapist. If she's not able to reset on her own, she will need some professional assistance.

 

This is outstanding advice!  To the OP; there's no shame in seeking outside help to work through this. Therapists aren't there to judge you for your choices. A good therapist can really help the two of you work through this and get back to an even keel.

 

 

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14 hours ago, bbarnsworth said:

If you include cheaters in that, it's likely accurate.

 

  

The implication I'm getting from this is an assertion that swingers have an artificially induced higher divorce rate because of having sex outside of marriage? If I'm reading that right, do you have any evidence to back that up?

 

Entirely anecdotal; in 14 years of being in the lifestyle, I'm aware of just one couple that divorced.

 

   

 

This is outstanding advice!  To the OP; there's no shame in seeking outside help to work through this. Therapists aren't there to judge you for your choices. A good therapist can really help the two of you work through this and get back to an even keel.

 

 

Monogamy is the relationship standard in society for the overwhelming majority of married couples. That requires nothing more than simple observation of society. However, one significant study revealed that 67% of women respondents indicated they would consider the mere suggestion of converting a monogamous relationship to an open relationship as cause for ending it. Sex outside of a monogamous relationship, however you would like to define it (cheating or otherwise), is simply inconsistent with established boundaries and expectations among most couples. https://comparecamp.com/open-marriage-statistics/

 

You misread the sentence. The point I am making is divorce rates among monogamous and open relationships are similar--that is to say, high. How do we know this when scant scientific evidence is available for the swinging community as a whole? We determine this through the application of logic and deductive reasoning.

 

There are comparatively recent scientific studies that examined the overall level of satisfaction of couples involved in open relationships as compared and contrasted against monogamous relationships. The studies indicate the overall level of satisfaction of both open relationships (described as consensual non-monogamists) and monogamous relationships are similar:

 

"General trends in the research reviewed suggest that consensual non-monogamists have similar psychological well-being and relationship quality as monogamists." Consensual Non-monogamy: Psychological Well-being and Relationship Quality Correlates, Rubel and Boagaert, September 2014.

 

If monogamists and consensual non-monogamists have similar overall levels of relationship satisfaction (i.e., psychological well-being and quality), we can logically conclude they have similar overall levels of relationship dissatisfaction resulting in similar levels of divorce. 

 

However, some anecdotal evidence suggests the divorce rates among non-monogamist married couples to be considerably higher than their married monogamist counterparts. In one article appearing on CNN.com, one clinical psychologist, Steven Brody, PhD, in Cambria, California, believes the divorce rate among non-monogamous couples to be as high as 90+%. This is based upon his more than three decades of clinical practice and thousands of patient interactions. I believe his estimate is wildly overstated, but it deserved mentioning. 

http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/personal/03/23/o.open.marriages.work/

 

 

 

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The idea that non-monogamy would result in a 90% divorce rate is inconsistent with the existence of this forum and its content. We do hear from time to time of situations that go south, but it's uncommon. I think it highly unlikely that the vast, vast majority of non-monogamous couples here that divorce would all go silent.

 

Further, the study that you noted about relationship satisfaction is inconsistent with the 90% figure.

 

The U.S. divorce rate has dropped substantially over the last 20 years (as has the marriage rate).

 

 

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‘Steven Brody, PhD, in Cambria, California, believes the divorce rate among non-monogamous couples to be as high as 90+%. This is based upon his more than three decades of clinical practice and thousands of patient interactions."

 

( http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/personal/03/23/o.open.marriages.work/ )

 

This fails the inter-ocular test…🙄 This is complete BS. It’s his clinical observation, not actual research. It may (or may not) be the case that lifestyle couples who come to him for counseling eventually divorce. But happy swinger couples don’t present for relationship therapy.
 

If, hypothetically, there are 1,000 swinger couples in his catchment area and 100 come to him for relationship therapy. Of those 100 couples 90 eventually divorce. That might be 90% of his patients, but it’s only 9% of the total swinger population.

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Well, this train has left the track...

 

Just a few quick points:

Cambria, CA has a population of under 6000 people, the area (San Luis Obispo County, Ca) only has approx. 285,000 (as of 2019).

Steve Brody, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist specializing in couples and individual therapy.

Most people don't go to see a clinical psychologist unless there is already a problem.

While an open marriage is considered swinging, it is a subset of swinging and not the majority.

 

So out of the very limited sampling of swingers (say 2% or 120 possible in Cambria, 5700 possible in the entire county) who have open marriages (in the included links above, they are talking about swinging single and not as a couple, which would be an even smaller number of people and even Dr. Brody says that less than 1% have open marriages or less than 60 people in Cambria, CA.), and are having problems that they decide to go to a clinical psychologist, he THINKS (he doesn't provide any numbers or facts other than his opinion) that open marriages have a 92% failure rate.

 

So, people in an open marriage, having sex with other people but not as a couple, who are having problems with the marriage to the point of finding a psychologist, appear to have a high divorce rate...a subset of a subset of a subset.

 

Never mind that the opinion of the writer is that open marriages don't work and her partner dropped the idea of only spending 4 days a week living together after they were 'deeply involved' and not that it was something to discuss, but apparently a demand. Not made out of love, not a suggestion to talk about, not involving any amount of trust, but a 'take it or leave it' proposition.

 

 

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14 hours ago, PeterJ said:

 

‘Steven Brody, PhD, in Cambria, California, believes the divorce rate among non-monogamous couples to be as high as 90+%. This is based upon his more than three decades of clinical practice and thousands of patient interactions."

 

( http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/personal/03/23/o.open.marriages.work/ )

 

This fails the inter-ocular test…🙄 This is complete BS. It’s his clinical observation, not actual research. It may (or may not) be the case that lifestyle couples who come to him for counseling eventually divorce. But happy swinger couples don’t present for relationship therapy.
 

If, hypothetically, there are 1,000 swinger couples in his catchment area and 100 come to him for relationship therapy. Of those 100 couples 90 eventually divorce. That might be 90% of his patients, but it’s only 9% of the total swinger population.

You went in a couple of different directions, Peter. I actually agree with some of what you wrote, but disagree with other parts.

 

I noted the article contained anecdotal evidence (not scientific) and stated I felt Dr. Brody's estimate is, "wildly overstated." But, you do realize your analysis is entirely hypothetical and subject to the same scrutiny, right? As a doctor practicing for three decades, with thousands of patient interactions from which to draw, dismissing Dr. Brody's assertions out of hand is, in my view, a mistake. Unless you, too, are PhD with 30 years of clinical practice and thousands of patient interactions under your belt, Dr. Brody is obviously in a better vantage point to render a qualified opinion than are you or me.

 

In the absence of hard scientific data to the contrary, it is entirely possible that Dr. Brody's basic assertion that open marriages have a higher rate of divorce than monogamous marriages may be accurate. Why might we suspect this? There is a preponderance of anecdotal evidence that would indicate it may be true. Begin with the obvious:

 

The incidence of open marriages in all of western civilization is remarkably low with estimates ranging from roughly 1 to 9%, with the consensus appearing to rest around 4% or so. If having an open marriage was some kind of relationship panacea that would lead to higher rates of satisfaction and improve outcomes, one would logically think western civilization would have evolved to the point where open marriages would make up a far greater percentage of the population--particularly over the last 60+ years, when western attitudes about sex, sexuality, relationships, and religion, have progressed remarkably. But this hasn't happened. Open marriages remain a tiny minority while the overwhelming majority of married couples view monogamy as the ideal. It's worth asking, Why? Social mores can't explain it. People now have to print their preferred pronouns on their business cards, emails, and video conferences, and the US just installed a new justice to the Supreme Court who couldn't define what is a woman. If that doesn't indicate a sea change in societal attitudes and norms over the last 60 years, nothing does. A couple saying they have sex outside of their marriage would hardly raise an eyebrow in large swaths of the US and Canada, and even larger parts of progressive Europe. 

 

Further, we can look at the attitudes of marriage counselors and relationship therapists regarding monogamous marriages versus open marriages. Anecdotally speaking, it is safe to say the prevailing opinion of most marriage counselors and relationship therapists as viewing the introduction of outside sexual partners to a marriage as adding enormous emotional complexity; consensual non-monogamy often introduces far more potential problems than it potentially solves. Indeed, it would be a rare marriage therapist or relationship counselor who would advocate for the introduction of outside sexual partners as a way to strengthen a marriage. It's worth asking, Why? Dr. Brody is certainly not alone in his opinions:

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-dance-connection/201003/the-truth-about-open-marriage

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-marital-labyrinth-series/202110/open-marriage-discussion-brought-you-will-jada

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/magnetic-partners/201307/the-slippery-slope-open-marriage

 

As an objective and logical person, I try to follow the data (anecdotal or otherwise) and form my personal opinions around it. It is obvious to me that open marriages are rare because they usually do not lead to better outcomes. If they did, people would embrace them far more regularly. Monogamy, in contrast, is the accepted ideal because it simply works better for most marriages and produces better outcomes. It's no more complicated than that.

 

However, two things may be true at the same time: It may be true that having an open marriage can lead to higher negative outcomes for a majority of marriages who attempt it, and it may also be true that for certain open marriages it can lead to higher overall satisfaction and stronger relationships. It certainly has in our case. Lol! But, within our lifestyle experiences, we see we are the exceptions, not the rule. Looking back on our lengthy open marriage and the many friendships with other open married couples we have formed over the decades, sadly we only see a few marriages that have remained intact (in fact, a significant number remarried only to divorce yet again.) And, when we contrast this against our monogamous married friends, we see significantly lower incidences of divorce. All anecdotal evidence, for sure. Yet, it deserves consideration.

 

Until reliable scientific data and analysis is available, we won't really know the answers to these questions. Anecdotal data is mostly what we have to draw upon. And, unfortunately, the topic seems to get little attention among the scientific research community. Open marriages, like other relationship minorities, continue to be underserved by the scientific community.

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49 minutes ago, GoldCoCouple said:

Well, this train has left the track...

 

Just a few quick points:

Cambria, CA has a population of under 6000 people, the area (San Luis Obispo County, Ca) only has approx. 285,000 (as of 2019).

Steve Brody, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist specializing in couples and individual therapy.

Most people don't go to see a clinical psychologist unless there is already a problem.

While an open marriage is considered swinging, it is a subset of swinging and not the majority.

 

So out of the very limited sampling of swingers (say 2% or 120 possible in Cambria, 5700 possible in the entire county) who have open marriages (in the included links above, they are talking about swinging single and not as a couple, which would be an even smaller number of people and even Dr. Brody says that less than 1% have open marriages or less than 60 people in Cambria, CA.), and are having problems that they decide to go to a clinical psychologist, he THINKS (he doesn't provide any numbers or facts other than his opinion) that open marriages have a 92% failure rate.

 

So, people in an open marriage, having sex with other people but not as a couple, who are having problems with the marriage to the point of finding a psychologist, appear to have a high divorce rate...a subset of a subset of a subset.

 

Never mind that the opinion of the writer is that open marriages don't work and her partner dropped the idea of only spending 4 days a week living together after they were 'deeply involved' and not that it was something to discuss, but apparently a demand. Not made out of love, not a suggestion to talk about, not involving any amount of trust, but a 'take it or leave it' proposition.

 

 

Actually, I think this discussion is entirely germane to the OP.

 

My take? When considering the probable success of any specific marriage, focusing on the structure of the relationship, monogamous versus open, is misguided. Rather, the success of any relationship is based upon the people involved, and their respective relationship skills and overall emotional and mental health. The right couple can make a monogamous relationship work beautifully. Likewise, the right couple can make an open relationship work beautifully. Conversely, emotionally unhealthy people, or those with poor relationship skills, are likely doomed no matter what kind of relationship structure they have.

 

However, it is hard to argue against the position that open relationships introduce more emotional variables and potential pitfalls than do monogamous relationships. That is the underlying point of Dr. Brody and other medical professionals quoted in my reply to Peter.

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17 hours ago, bbarnsworth said:

The idea that non-monogamy would result in a 90% divorce rate is inconsistent with the existence of this forum and its content. We do hear from time to time of situations that go south, but it's uncommon. I think it highly unlikely that the vast, vast majority of non-monogamous couples here that divorce would all go silent.

 

Further, the study that you noted about relationship satisfaction is inconsistent with the 90% figure.

 

The U.S. divorce rate has dropped substantially over the last 20 years (as has the marriage rate).

 

 

Respectfully, bb, you are engaging in hypothesis and conjecture predicated on extremely dubious anecdotal evidence.

 

The existence of this website is not scientific proof of anything. It barely qualifies for anecdotal evidence, honestly.

 

What is the definition of "time-to-time"? What is the definition of "uncommon"? Do you have any statistical data to support these very nebulous claims? Members aren't even verified, much less can their lifestyle experiences be authenticated. I could tell you swinging was the best experience of my life, or the worst. I could tell you last night me and the Seven Dwarves took turns screwing Snow White. Lol. You have no way of knowing what is true or what is not.

 

Look back over the last ten years. How many members/posters have simply disappeared? Did they file a report with an explanation for their decisions? Or, did they just leave without so much as a goodbye? I believe there is a post floating around here with the title of, "Where did all the old posters go?" or words to that effect. Did they leave because their relationships crashed and burned? Or did they leave to pursue contact with people in a different technological format? Or, did they simply get bored? We'll never know.

 

We've been members of this site for a good many years. In our observation, a large percentage of posts are made by people whose experience in the lifestyle is driven more by fantasy than reality, and is just as unreliable. Fantastical stories of sweaty gangbangs and anonymous sex and oozing cream pies make for laughable entertainment, but can hardly be taken seriously.

 

And this is not a problem limited to this website. We've experienced the same issue with other swinger websites, including the most popular two. It is common knowledge they are plagued by false profiles and phony identities. We gave up our paid-in-full Lifetime membership to SLS because we grew so tired of the number of phony profiles.

 

At this stage of our lives, we think we can ferret out those who are real swingers, and those who aren't; those who are genuine lifestylers, and those who are just fantasizing. But, I wouldn't predicate any large-scale conclusions on anything I read here or any other unverified member forum anymore than I would buy a stock because of some thread on Reddit. It's all unreliable hearsay. 

 

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On 4/5/2022 at 12:29 PM, Username87 said:

My wife is incredibly upset and regrets our decision. I fully support her decision that she does not want to do it again and have made it clear this changes nothing and love her with all of my heart. The helpful thing is we will likely never see this couple again as we met them on vacation in a different state. She struggles with the fact that I am not jealous that she had sex with another guy. In fact I told her it turned me on. I no way is she blaming me or the other couple but she’s really hurting. Any advice? Or do I just continue to let her know I’m here for her and let her go through the grieving process? Thanks.

 

A lot of great responses above. From what I see, boiling it down to where you go from here I think depends on the degree of feelings. For example, you used "struggles", "really hurting", "grieving".  There is a large progression between struggling with something and grieving over something.  They say time heals all wounds, and I think for the most part that is true as long as one keeps in mind that 1) healed doesn't mean no scar, and 2) just because there is a scar from past injury doesn't mean something can't go back to functioning perfectly fine in the present.

 

The healing process over a struggle and a grieve though are going to take different amounts of time.  I think it is really too soon for her herself to even know for sure where she is at somewhere between struggle and grieve.  Just keep talking it through though, that will help both of you figure out where things are which is the first step to knowing how to fix them.  If the true feelings are closer to a struggle, it will likely revolve itself in fairly short order.  If the true feelings are grief, then it will take longer, and in the worst case, may take professional help.

 

I'm never a cheerleader/recruiter for swinging, so my intention here is not to convince either of you what the future should hold for you. I will however say it is the rare swinging couple that hasn't hit a serious speed bump somewhere in their swinging past.  I don't mean divorce and that whole discussion, I mean a time when things didn't go how they were supposed to and it caused issues.  Nearly any swinger can tell you a personal story about that, if not several.  But, no matter how bad it seemed in the heat of the moment, with time, things almost always worked themselves out with no lasting harm done.  I suspect that is because if the base relationship is strong, it will weather storms, and there isn't anything unique about a swinging-caused storm.  If the base relationship isn't strong, then bad things can happen, and again, that's not unique to a swinging stressor.

 

Good luck.  I think with some patience, understanding, kindness, and good communication everything will be fine and you may very well come out on the other side stronger than before.

 

 

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On 4/8/2022 at 2:34 PM, AndrewandAnn said:

Respectfully, bb, you are engaging in hypothesis and conjecture predicated on extremely dubious anecdotal evidence.

 

And honestly with every ounce of respect, I've not seen true evidence presented either. Looking around online, I find lots of contradictory results from various 'sources'. There's little, if anything, in the way of actual science done on this.

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As one half of a couple that have yet to experience our first swing experience, I find your situation very intriguing. This is exactly what we want to avoid. Alot of people with tons of experience that have given feedback certainly have much more of an insight than we have. One thing I have been trying is to see my wifes reaction after she reads responses to our post requests.  I am thinking this would give me an idea of how she would react after a real encounter by judging reactions from post responses. Some on here have criticized my methods, but I think having an idea of the other halfs reactions would give insight to what may happen in future. At least this is what I hope would happen, but then again we are just horny simpletons compared to some other intellectuals here. 🤪 I wonder if the original posters had tried fantasy play and / or requesting ideas from others what they/she would be in for by posting such requests before actually jumping into the fire????

Just wondering....

Edited by 80eezcouple

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There's no such thing as being too safe when it comes to swinging, after all you are playing with fire, but if you can communicate well with your partner you should be fine. Just don't make the mistakes made above...

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      The guy that went in there with us, quickly got naked and tugged at her red thong. She took it off and handed it to me. This whole time, she was playing with my dick, it's about 5.5". The guy was much larger, about 7". She looked at it and winked at me. She told him she likes it rough.
       
      He had it fully up and moved close to her pussy. She stared into my eyes, grabbed his dick and guided it to rub her pussy. He took his clue and shoved it in. She reminded him to not be gentle. He obliged and fucked her like a whore. She begged for more by saying, "Oh yeah, fuck me, fuck me hard...look babe, he is fucking me so good, he is so big, look, he is fucking your wife right in front of you....oh yeah, fuck me." About four other guys and a couple were now watching her get fucked. I asked her if I should tell them to leave, she said no, she likes it. She slowly turned to them so they can get the full view of a dick in her pussy while she was playing with mine. 
       
      Once the guy got done, she said, "Okay honey, this was awesome," and kissed me multiple times thanking me for a great experience. She said she wanted to stay for a few before we walked out. She wanted to walk around and be noticed as the woman who had just been fucked, since rest of the crowd was just hanging out.
       
      We cannot wait to do it again.  
       
    • By Skhan
      It's a long ride on your way to your first threesome.  No matter if you are driving 2 hours or 2 minutes, it seems like you are forever getting there.

      You don't know if the thoughts in your mind or the blood in your cock will explode first.
       
      You have nothing to go on but a few grainy photos; usually one, maybe two if you are lucky.  And the eyes... the eyes are always blotted out in those photos. No one wants to be recognized by friends or family.  They never realize that friends or family would have to be swinging to see those grainy photos in the swinger magazines.  Those "dirty" magazines hidden in the back of the combination book store/record shop.
       
      Yes, you were nervous going to the checkout with those swinger mags, purchasing some mediocre cd or magazine to hide from the other patrons the depravity of the sex acts dominating your thoughts.  The relief you feel when you are sitting in your car with your treasure.  The thrill of looking through the candidates, sifting through the obese or obnoxious looking couples to find that perfect gem, the one couple that displays "couple or single male wanted."  You don't focus on the husbands, just the wives to see if they are hot.  Hell, they don't have to be hot, just the average to middling females who aren't looking for 10 inch cocks.  They nearly all ask for 10 inch cocks for a 7 inch cock holster.  You curse your parents for the mediocrity of your birth right.
       
      You find a few candidates. You mail to the reference number on the photo c/o the magazine forwarding service, enclose your Polaroids....and wait.  You buy an answering machine...and wait.  You check your messages for two weeks...and wait.  You wait and you masturbate to the thoughts of what you want to happen.  The answer doesn't come by phone, but by mail.  The couple writes and expresses interest.  Apparently your cock pick wasn't all that mediocre, or it's your young flesh she desires more than the cervix pounding from the other bullish candidates.  
       
      They send photos. Colored ones. Kodachrome.
       
      They give you a phone number. A city two hours away. They are a better than average couple.  No heavy weights. He is bi, she is straight. Your are 24.  They are 33 and 35.  You haven't tried bisexuality before, but your heart is racing now, anticipating something new, something erotic...your first threesome.
       
      You call the number. The wife answers and you give them the phony last name that you made up on the letter, and they give you the phony last name that they made up.  It's part of the game.   You banter nervously. They ask questions. You ask questions.  "What do you enjoy?"  "Do you like anal?"  "Do you like cum in your mouth?"  It doesn't matter.  If they said that they were going to cut your throat afterward, you would still go.  You are hooked. You set up a weekend meet at a motel at their location. King-size bed. Hard to explain to the motel clerk why you are asking for a king-size bed.  They don't ask. They've seen it all.
       
      The husband picks you up at the motel. Nice guy. Personable. Not his first rodeo. He drives you to their place, which is a surprise, but you are so nervous that you don't remember the address or how to get there. You go in. You meet the wife and son. She doesn't disappoint.  She is a looker. The teenage son is off to a friend's place and you are just someone going to a party with his parents. He doesn't know that you will be soon fucking his mother.  After the son leaves, they show you photos of their past swinging adventures.  If you had doubts, then now you are sure that this isn't their first rodeo.  Your cock or your mind. Both are about to explode.
       
      They follow you back to the hotel room that you rented.  Locked door, "Do not Disturb" sign.
       
      She kisses her husband and it starts. The disrobing. You are nervous. What to do first. Follow their lead and try not to appear overbearing or demanding.  She's on the bed, and he dives into a mouthful of vaginal bliss. You nervously start kissing her, massaging her breast, kissing her nipples.  Then you get on your knees and present your mediocre cock for her to devour.  She doesn't hesitate.  She has your cock buried down her throat while the husband buries his tongue in her bush.  The husband comes up for air, and moves to her breast, teasing.  You move to the holy of holies.  You lick, suck, and drink in the juices, probing with deep tongue thrusts, tasting the walls of her vaginal cavity while she is licking the husband's cock. Your member is not much different than his. You are relieved.  
       
      The position changes. She lays on her side. He enters her vagina from the rear, leaving her clitoris exposed. She discussed this with you on the phone.  Licking her while her husband fucks.  You go down and start to lick that clitoris, less than a inch from the pounding cock. You remember that he is bi. He wants this. You hesitantly reach up, and start to cradle his jewels, all the time her juices mingles with the fleshy taste of cock.  You can't bring yourself to put his cock in your mouth, so you go on licking the clit and fondling the balls until he grunts and fills her with cum.  He withdraws. You switch position.  His cum lubricates her vagina.  There is nothing sloppy about these seconds. You pound her while he licks and returns the favor of cradling your balls.  He doesn't suck you off, not sure if you will be offended. It doesn't matter he says. They just love fucking.  
       
      You release your semen into her, and you all relax, sitting and talking while a double load of cum streams from her pussy. You regret what the hotel maids will have to clean up. She pees. Returns. The ritual starts again. This time the cunnilingus is mixed with unfamiliar flavors. His cum. Your cum.  You don't give a fuck.  The thrill of the three-way has over ridden any social mores that you were raised with.
       
      More sex. More bi touching. This time you pull out and shoot your cum over her.  With that baptism, the holy rites have been completed. There are photos and kisses given. Promises of future sex.
       
      This was your first threesome.
    • By C3po
      This all started around forty years ago when my wife Beth and I had dated for a few years then married. It wasn't long after we married that I introduced her to her first big realistic porn star dildo.  When she first saw it she laughed and said, "That'll never fit in my pussy, are you nuts?!" But she agreed to trying and found not only did it fit but she really enjoyed it. She was amazed by how much she enjoyed it.  So much so that she requested I use it on her quite a lot. She also discovered she enjoyed big cock porn, she was fascinated by it. Soon was I combining using a huge dildo on her at the same time she watched big cock porn, this led her to experience huge orgasms. She couldn't get enough. She was finally exploring her sexuality and expanding her outlook on sexual pleasure.
       
      One night after some really hot sex I  questioned her if she ever fantasized about fucking other men, especially well-hung men. She responded that of course she did, stated that most women had this fantasy, and she believed it was quite common. So I pursued it further and asked her if she wanted to try another man's cock and how much did she really desire to do it? She said that it sounded exciting and fun but she would never do anything to endanger our marriage. I said,  "What if I told you that I wanted to watch you have sex with another man, one that had a really big cock. Would you then consider it?" She laughed and said she'd be game if it was something I was serious about and really wanted her to do. She said, "Come on, let's be real. It's exciting and fun to imagine it, but to really do it? Please! That's a major game changer."
       
      So I said, "I'm very serious. I've watched the way you enjoy the dildos especially while watching big cock videos. It turns me on big time seeing how excited you get and how many times you climax from doing these two things at the same time. I want to watch you do it for real. No BS, just watching you getting slammed by a big cock would be a huge turn-on for me. So what do you really think now that you know that I'm serious and am giving you this opportunity?"
       
      I could see her giving it some serious thought, she didn't get mad or upset at me or the idea, no resistance whatsoever to my request.  The more she considered the idea the more it appeared to me that she was very intrigued with the idea and it excited her.
       
      She started asking all kinds of questions, like wouldn't I be jealous, or think the worst of her, or what if she really enjoyed it and wanted more or didn't feel comfortable screwing another man, then what? Were there any rules and what were the consequences? Was I absolutely sure that I really wanted her to do this, because once done there was no going back!
       
      After she finished asking everything she had concerns about I answered all her questions and we talked about the rules/boundaries we would have in place to keep it fun and exciting without any reservations or guilt. This was to make sure she fully understood my concerns and alleviate all of hers as well. It seemed she came to a decision at which point she smiled and enthusiastically said yes, she'd do it! Did I have someone special in mind she wondered? She said she had to agree to my choices for her sexual escapades or it wasn't gonna happen.
       
       I then informed her I was thinking of Bruce. Beth squealed with glee, she admitted she has had fantasies about Bruce for some time now and I couldn't have picked a better choice for her first time. She would absolutely love to fuck Bruce. She said she was getting wet thinking about sex with him.
       
      A few days later I met up with Bruce for an after work drink. As we enjoyed several drinks we talked a lot. Soon I steered the conversation towards my wife Beth. I asked  Bruce to be honest and tell me what he thought about Beth. He admitted he thought Beth was smokin' hot. She had a killer body and was just gorgeous, always was friendly, and liked flirting with him when they were together. I asked him if he' ever had the chance would he consider having sex with her? He looked a bit concerned by my question but answered yes, he wouldn't hesitate to take advantage of such an opportunity. So I told him that Beth really wanted to have sex with him, and that I was okay with them hooking up. I explained that was my kink watching her get fucked by other men, it really turned me on. Bruce considered it for several minutes then said okay sure, he'd love to fuck Beth. Just give him the details when we're ready to make it happen.
       
      When I got home I told Beth about my conversation with Bruce and what he said. She looked startled and said she couldn't believe I did that. So I asked her if what I did was so wrong and did she still want to go through with it? She excitedly said Oh hell yes she did, and no I wasn't wrong! So we made plans and set a date for Beth's first cock. 
       
      The night arrived finding Beth both excited and hot with anticipation. She was dressed to kill showing off her sexy body wearing no underwear. When Bruce knocked on the door I answered it and escorted him into our house. Beth entered the living room and gave Bruce a big hug pressing her chest and pelvis into him and then kissed him on the lips. Bruce kissed her back and he sat down pulling her on to his lap. Nether one of them wasted any time, tongues going everywhere, hands exploring and groping each other, clothes coming off. Soon they were both naked and Beth got a pleasant surprise, Bruce was very well hung. She giggled with delight.
       
      Beth took Bruce's hand and led him to our bed. She pushed him down on the bed and went to work on Bruce's big cock giving him an enthusiastic blow job. After a while Bruce flipped Beth on her back and went to work on her pussy and clit. Beth orgasmed in minutes, fully enjoying Bruce's skilled tongue. I stood in the background watching the show.
       
      Soon Bruce moved into position between Beth's legs. As he rubbed his cock against Beth's open pussy and clit she responded with loud moans and started pressing her pussy against Bruce's cock. As he slid his huge cock into Beth's pussy she had a big climax. As he went deeper he increased his speed and Beth climaxed again. She was enthralled with his big cock pumping her pussy, she was moving her hips and swearing, telling him his cock felt so good. She looked over at me and said she loved how good his big cock felt inside her. She told Bruce to stretch her pussy good, to fuck her hard. She was in sexual ecstasy, a place she'd never been before. Her facial expressions showed pure bliss and the sounds she was making were hot as hell. I never seen her so turned on, she must of had a dozen orgasms, many of which were huge.
       
      They fucked each other hard for a good twenty minutes then Bruce erupted into Beth's pussy, filling her with his cum. This gave Beth another climax. Afterwards he laid on Beth for a minute then rolled off her. He'd destroyed her pussy, it gaped open with his cum dripping out of her. They kissed and he got up to dress while Beth laid there spent. She looked at me and smiled big time. She said, "Your turn!", so I took sloppy seconds and enjoyed it beyond belief. Bruce watched us have sex then commented that watching real sex was so much hotter than any porno ever could be. He understood my enjoyment of watching my wife fuck other men. He said he'd like to do it again and Beth was all for it. So they made plans to hook up again. Then Bruce left.
       
      Beth and I talked about how well things went, and how she wasn't prepared for how much she enjoyed his big cock. It was mind boggling! She thanked me profusely for asking her to do this, the opportunity to experience such awesome sex. She says she'll never be the same again and is looking forward to more big cock sex. So our new lifestyle began.
    • By Falcon88
      My wife and I have been together for almost 25 years. Through out the years sex has been fantastic. No complaints on either side. We are very faithful and never cheated on each other.
       
      Then one day two years ago we were having a few drinks and watching porn. We watch all kinds of porn. That night we were watching some really good gangbangs. Curiously, I turn to my wife and asked her if she ever thought about swinging and group sex. If it ever crossed her mind. Surprisingly, she looked at me and said she’s been thinking about it for while. So we ended up talking about swinging and group sex for hours. We got online and read stories on experiences about swinging and group sex. The pros and cons. It turned me on taking about it but at the same time I got a crazy feeling in my stomach. Nerves I guess.
       
      So to make a very long story short we ended up having an open marriage and took up swinging. We both decided to have (safe) sex with other people until we felt comfortable on having our first group sex. All this took very long planning and preparing, especially mentally.
       
      Finally last November we planned out her first group sex. We carefully selected three familiar friends to join in the fun. Of course they decided to do it and agreed on our rules.
       
      So, it finally happened that November night. I really enjoyed watching my wife get screwed by more than one man. She had the time of her life. She had multiple orgasms one after another. The crazy feeling never left my stomach but I really enjoyed watching though. After the guys left we kicked back and talked about our experience. Then we go back about agreeing on what we’re doing and never to do it without the other knowing. We keep an oath of trust. Every time we have a date with someone we let each other know. It’s always planned out days in advance so it will never interfere with our personal lives. We have a great understanding.
       
      Since last November she’s been involved in several group sex averaging 3-4 guys each time. Of course I joined in most of the time. Lots of lube is needed. But now she wants to go a little further. She wants to do a gangbang of 6-8 guys. Seriously.
       
      Lately she’s been playing with large toys to get her vagina ready. She wants to try double-vaginal penetration. I’ve been preparing her by inserting a dildo in her while I’m inside. Very carefully with lots of lube. We practice every time we have sex. She even carefully inserts a large thick toy in her vagina while watching a movie and keeps it in there. Yes, our sexual curiosities has increased tremendously. My wife wants to explore even more and I’m all in.
       
      Well the day we both have been looking forward too occurred this past weekend. We managed to round up 7 guys for an all night gangbang. It involved a lot of planning and phone calls. We’ve noticed that guys will be all in at first then drop out later. But eventually we got things going. That night when everyone arrived she was kinda nervous but excited to have that many cocks at once. Most of all, she finally had double penetration in her vagina from two guys for the first time. The strange thing I seemed more nervous than her. Lol But she absolutely enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed watching her. She came hard many times. She doesn’t like anal so that wasn’t attempted.
       
      So after joining in all the fun and after almost two hours of great sex we had the grand finale. My sexy wife knelt down and we all gave her an awesome bukkake. Her face was drenched with cum. It was one heck of a hot night. After everyone left we took a long shower and stayed up almost all night talking about it. We were both so turned on that we were already making plans for the next one. But we are gonna take a break for about three weeks. It’s just going to be me and her for now.
       
      Yesterday she mentioned about having a messy cum sex in the near future after watching a great creampie movie. I was like, a messy cum sex? She asked me what I would think about her having a messy gooey bukkake and creampie night. Having about 4 guys cum all over her face while 4 guys cum inside her. Then rubbing the cum all over her breasts. Man, just listening to her drove me crazy. My wife was willing to be explosive. But that would take lots of planning because we are very cautious. My wife cannot get pregnant anymore so that’s really something we don’t have to worry about. It’s about the unprotected sex. We do know many cool friends well enough that we can trust but still we must remain careful. Yet, I’m sure it’s gonna happen very soon.
       
      I’ve been asked if we have taken it too far. If there’s actually any sign of regrets. Some close friends wonder about my wife wanting too much now. Our answer is no because we enjoy it and have a deep understanding and trust. We are responsible adults and are having fun. We first talk about what we’re going to do and have to both agree 100%. Any sign of doubt from either side we will not do it. We are friends with our sex partners but no feelings are involved or ever shared. We have proven that to ourselves already.
    • By AdamGunn2
      It was a fairly typical night at D.J.s Island, an early autumn evening. Mary and I hadn’t set anything up in advance, we’d decided to go almost at the last moment. From the second we entered the door our radar was beaming across the club, searching for a couple that might be searching for what we were also interested in - an enjoyable tryst.
       
      Mary took a few minutes to change into what she called a ‘trolling outfit.’ As I remember, that night it was a black babydoll with a loose bodice, thong, low heels. Many men admired her legs as I checked the forty or so women, many as scantily clad as my wife. None of our regular playmates seemed to be in attendance that evening, but we had our customs, we weren’t concerned. Perhaps an hour and a half later, I sat at a table next to the dance floor, Mary was on her feet, on the parquet, moving her body, seeing if anyone would move in. A slow sequence of men approached her, danced with her. Some would take liberties such as moving their hands under her garment, feeling the small of her back, perhaps place their palm on the roundness of her ass.
       
      I’d seen this many times before, I waited for one of two reactions.
       
      The first was that she’d spin away from the man; it signified she wasn’t interested in what he had to offer.
       
      The second was that she’d get closer, I’d watch her whisper in his ear. I knew the question, “Where’s your wife?” Some of them would shake their heads, they were attending as one of the few single men the club allowed, and when they received Mary’s response, they’d move away - that’s not what we were looking for at the moment.
       
      But the man might indicate where his wife was dancing a few feet away. When this kind of thing happened, Mary would glance to me and give our special signal - she’d put one hand on the back of her head, one on her stomach. When I got the cue, I’d come out, we’d dance as a foursome.
       
      As I approached, a man grasped the elbow of a tall attractive lady who was more modestly dressed, at least for the club. There was no conversation on the dance floor, the heavy volume of music and the thumping of the bass wouldn’t allow for speech. But I could tell the woman was interested in me, the four of us paired off and I often found myself facing this vixen. It was obvious they were as interested in us as I was in them, I could tell by the way Mary was rubbing against the man that she felt the same.
       
      After a couple of songs, Mary led the way off the floor, holding his hand, leading us off into a corner away from the speakers. As we sat, the man said, “I’m Ed, this is my wife, Marilyn.”
       
      Marilyn and I softly shook hands, I believe she raised the hem of her skirt to give me a view of her upper thighs. Ed had no problem seeing Mary’s legs, or where they met - she was sitting so that the babydoll was gathered to her side, leaning forward so her globes were exposed to his view.
       
      “Do you come here often?” Ed asked.
       
      “Every few weeks,” I responded, “you?”
       
      “This is our first time here.” Mary gave him a look that asked for further info. “We’re just starting this,” he admitted.
       
      Marilyn picked it up. “We’ve only had one time with a couple of friends. We liked it, heard about this place, decided to see if we could get into more trouble.”
       
      “Trouble’s our middle name,” I joked.
       
      Our conversation continued, where do you live, what movies have you seen lately, etc. It was a screen, of course, we were all calculating if the four of us would be pleasurable bedmates. I paid my attention to Marilyn, my wife had told me numerous times not to worry about her, she can take care of herself. My hand found Marilyn’s knee, she smiled at me, encouraged me to reach a tad higher. We bent towards each other, our mouths met.
       
      Marilyn opened her lips to me, the kiss was ardent, her mouth moist. She licked at my upper lip, her hand fondled the back of my neck. Our tongues clashed, promising cupidity, mimicking what I presumed our bodies might be doing in a few scant moments.
       
      We broke for a moment, Marilyn invited, “Would you guys want to go to one of the rooms?”
       
      I, of course, was all for it, but then I heard Mary. “Uh, not right now. But thanks.”
       
      We’ve always had the guideline that if one person doesn’t want to do something, she speaks for both of us. Regretfully, I pecked at Marilyn’s lips a last time, we stood, went separate ways.
       
      “You’re not upset, are you?” Mary asked me.
       
      “Of course not, not at all. You’re not in the mood?”
       
      “Oh, I’m in the mood all right, just not with Ed.”
       
      “Something wrong with him?” I asked.
       
      “I tried to get him interested,” Mary revealed, “but his kiss was a little cold, indifferent. I put my hand on his leg, he was too busy watching you and Marilyn, he never responded. My guess is that if we went into a room, he’d be watching you two, I’m not even sure he’d get hard for me.” It was a reasonable thought, it had happened to us a couple times before. “Hope you don’t mind, bet she’d have been a firecracker.”
       
      “Maybe. But you’re a firecracker too.”
       
      We headed back to the dance floor, in search of another couple.
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