First MFM, Question about Stamina

[LKNcouple 36]

On Friday we had our first MFM experience.   Overall it was really hot, and very exciting.   We met the guy off of SLS and he had some experience and we were as new as we could be.   After about 40 minutes, we were done, but the guy we invited said he was not even close to cumming.    My wife said when she first started to suck his cock, she smelled something 'Mediciney" and when they started fucking, he had his condom on and kept pouring tons of lube.    My wife was extremely wet, so I was surprised he used so much lube.    He used almost all of a brand new bottle.   In the end, my wife said she was done.   She tried to finish him off with her mouth and hand, but he said it was going to take a lot longer.

 

Is this normal or was it possible that he used numbing cream, the condom, viagra and a ton of lube to not cum?   My wife feels bad, and now thinks he was not attracted to her or she was not good.

[njbm 2,866]

Some men cannot come very easily. Usually older men, but even younger men with medical problems. If you are new to swinging, you will notice sometimes your partner does not have an orgasm. Sometimes the man cannot achieve or maintain an erection. It usually happens due to nervousness or a medical problem.
 

It’s not usually from lack of attraction. I once had trouble with my youngest, most attractive partner. She kept paying attention to and jumping in with my wife and her own husband. I got psyched out because she wasn’t paying attention to me and I was a little mad and disappointed. Experienced swingers know these things happen. 
 

As a generous partner said to me in a flagging moment: “Hey, we’re not porn stars. “

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

Some guys just cum slowly. I know for me, cumming from oral sex is not that easy unless I've been with the woman several times. Maybe he's the same way.

 

The amount of lube is....unusual. If it was some sort of numbing cream, your wife likely would have felt it's effects as well.

 

Congrats on your first MFM! Don't take this experience as being representative of all swinging. Swinging is a bit like dating; you're going to find good ones, mediocre ones, and bad ones. It sounds like this one wasn't quite up to snuff. No worries. Move on to the next encounter! My wife and I decided before we got into swinging that if the first few experiences were duds, we'd keep at it a bit and see how it all worked out. I'm glad we did. The third time was the charm for my wife. She had a phenomenal time with the third guy, and couldn't get enough sex from him. The same will likely happen with your wife; you'll find just the right guy that will make her feel fantastic. When you do, keep him around. It's worth it!

[Aphroditee 323]

The medicine smell could have been numbing cream.  I hate that stuff.  

[TnA83 304]

It's not the size of the vessel nor the motion of the ocean, but whether the captain can stay in port long enough for the passengers to get off!

 

That said, most girls don't want to be fucked until they're sore and raw and their jaws hurt and Charlie horses in their palms.  That the guy used numbing cream before a date is unseemly in that the guy expected you to want to go on forever.  The board is full of stories where the new guy wouldn't cum and the night went on far too long.  

 

Question:  How long did it go on until you two cried Uncle?

[njbm 2,866]

34 minutes ago, TnA83 said:

It's not the size of the vessel nor the motion of the ocean, but whether the captain can stay in port long enough for the passengers to get off!

 

That said, most girls don't want to be fucked until they're sore and raw and their jaws hurt and Charlie horses in their palms.  That the guy used numbing cream before a date is unseemly in that the guy expected you to want to go on forever.  The board is full of stories where the new guy wouldn't cum and the night went on far too long.  

 

Question:  How long did it go on until you two cried Uncle?

We both have about one hour of interest in sex. Marathon sessions were impressive when we were younger. Neither one of us want to pound or be pounded ad infinitum. 

[NerdsAreFun 226]

Yeah I'm not sure where guys get it in their head that pounding for hour+ sessions is desirable.  Afraid of being labeled a premature ejaculator I guess.  Marathon sex sessions are fun.  But no need to be pounding the whole time.  Going for multiple times and switching up between different activities and even a break for refreshments should be part of those.  Popping quickly can be a compliment rather than something to avoid with numbing creams and what have you.

[LKNcouple 36]

2 hours ago, TnA83 said:

It's not the size of the vessel nor the motion of the ocean, but whether the captain can stay in port long enough for the passengers to get off!

 

That said, most girls don't want to be fucked until they're sore and raw and their jaws hurt and Charlie horses in their palms.  That the guy used numbing cream before a date is unseemly in that the guy expected you to want to go on forever.  The board is full of stories where the new guy wouldn't cum and the night went on far too long.  

 

Question:  How long did it go on until you two cried Uncle?

20 minutes of just fucking.    We have been married for 30 years and we know how each other likes it.   I know she is really not someone that likes it going on for that long

[enhancer 1,582]

As I have aged it takes me longer to cum!  No issues gettIng hard and staying hard just takes forever for me to cum regardless of how attracted I am to someone.  I am however receptive to when my partner is worn out and done and have no issue stopping without cumming myself.  I do not have to have an orgasm to enjoy myself.  As long as my partner had a great time I do.

People should not take it as a sign that they are not satisfying the other person.  It is just the way it is for some of us.  There is a point where enough is enough and it is up to guys that do not cum easily to understand that and back off when that time has come.

 

 With the missus I want to be able to have sex with her again sometime in the near future.  Leaving her raw and sore is not conductive for that happening.

[TnA83 304]

5 hours ago, njbm said:

We both have about one hour of interest in sex. Marathon sessions were impressive when we were younger. Neither one of us want to pound or be pounded ad infinitum. 

An hour is the new marathon session for us.  At about the half hour or 45 minute point, my wife politely asks, "Dou you want to try again later/tomorrow morning?"

[EastInWest 1,524]

On 4/12/2022 at 7:21 AM, Aphroditee said:

The medicine smell could have been numbing cream.  I hate that stuff.  

I'm 90% sure that was the situation here.

 

If I want a "marathon" session, I'll take a Cialis and fuck Mrs. E. The next session will take a long time for entirely normal reasons, not because I can't feel anything.

[couplers 4,596]

On 4/12/2022 at 7:24 AM, njbm said:

We both have about one hour of interest in sex.

For all of us in our poly family of three women and two men we have more than an hour of interest in sex, but only about 30 to 45 minutes of interest in one person before it's time to orgasm and see what's next.  Threesomes of both types can go on for quite a while, however, because of the combinations.