Night didn't go as planned

[Mike6216 34]

So, me and the wife are still fairly new to swinging. We've been going for about 2 years now and we have only ever done it with one other couple, who just so happen to be long time (10 plus years) friends of ours. Well, Saturday night they came for a sleepover. After hanging out and having a few drinks, the girls end up saying that they did not want to have sex because "it feels like every time we are together, we have to have sex". Me and him were both cool with it because we don't pressure our wives to do anything they don't want to do, but looking back, I'm just curious. Could this actually be the reason, or is something else (loss of attraction, loss of interest, etc) more likely the cause. I know for a fact that they were both planning on a fun night because the wife had me help her shave and his wife brought her toys. Something changed within the night.

[enhancer 1,585]

Sometimes women just don’t feel like having sex!  I wouldn’t read anything into it unless they tell you there is more to it.  

[AndrewandAnn 360]

You're asking the wrong people. The only two people who know the answers are your wife and the other wife.

 

I would begin with having a conversation with your wife and hear what she has to say about it?

 

 

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

They're long time friends of yours. It's completely reasonable to expect that some times they just want to do friends things, and not have every evening be geared towards sex. I wouldn't read anything into it at all!

 

There's an old saying in swinging; don't go with any expectations other than having a good time. If you've been friends with this couple for 10 plus years, you obviously have fun with them outside of the bed. Take advantage of that. Just roll with it. It's cool.

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

Yes. 

Value the relationship. Sense what level of activity everyone wants, be happy to have them as friends. Even LS relationships have an up and down dynamic. One thing the gentlemen might ask themselves--what would be a terrific time for the ladies? Send them on a girls' weekend, agree to go to some attraction or event that's their idea, given them a pair of gift certificates to a local spa, cook a meal for them (including shopping, prep, cooking, and cleanup) while they sip drinks and relax somewhere. Make it about them, not about sex. 

Yes, they'll notice. 

[njbm 2,870]

Sometimes we just want a vanilla activity and we are relieved that the other couple agrees. Take a rest, develop other interests. 

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

We get together with the couple that we have been 'dating' for a LONG time about once a month or so. We always plan on having something happen, but there are plenty of times when we just have a vanilla evening. There's nothing wrong with that since we like them as people and not just as sex toys, and still enjoy the evenings. Sometimes the 'vibe' just isn't there...and that's okay. Other times we have not expected much and things get crazy. Bottom line is we enjoy the time we spend together, no matter what we are doing.

[MidwestHoneys 358]

Think it went the way someone else wanted. 
You can’t always get what you want. 
But if you try sometime you'll find
You get what you need

[cplnuswing 4,713]

20 hours ago, bbarnsworth said:

There's an old saying in swinging; don't go with any expectations other than having a good time. If you've been friends with this couple for 10 plus years, you obviously have fun with them outside of the bed. Take advantage of that. Just roll with it. It's cool.

 

All great advice above, but if there is one consistent in being a happy swinger, it's the first sentence above.

 

Sexual heat can cool over time as friendship grows, that's true. If that's the case here, the next time or two you get together will signal where things are headed with that.