Is it just me, or is my wife out of control?
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By lizandtom
My wife and I have been together for 22 years, married 16 and have always had a good relationship. We've been in the LS for just over 4 years. Our first full swap was 3 1/2 years ago. She hit it off with the other guy great; she described him as a tomcat seeking prey. Apparently she likes a somewhat domineering male. Although I was with his wife 1 or 2 times, I really didn't feel the right chemistry, so that was it for me, with exception of some parties we had where it just worked out that I did her. He had asked my wife to call him after that first time, and they have been in in phone contact ever since, once or twice a week, which I had no problem with because my wife has always been upfront with me about all.
When it was known that his wife wasn't my type, he told my wife not to tell me that they had phoned each other because he didn't want me going into aol chat and telling his wife that they had been in contact. Apparently he kept things from his wife. My wife tells me everything so I said that wasn't cool at all. Nevertheless, after 1 MFM with my wife and him, I wasn't into him telling my wife to keep things from me, and him going behind his wifes back to do as he wanted. My wife was enamored with him and though I expressed my grave concern that he was cheating on his wife, I allowed my wife to get together with him on occasion, like once every few months over the past few years but still saying I didn't like him keeping this a secret from his wife, as its something I never would do.
Fast forward to our local club last month. We were chatting with a couple newly acquainted with us in our off premise club, and they said they knew that other couple (we didn't say anything about my wife being with that guy for the past 3 years occasionally), but the other couple says "we know them, his wife cheated on him a few years back; he found out was pissed and told the other woman and they nearly got divorced over it."
Well that was it. When I heard that drama, I said to my wife "that's VERY uncool, and if relative strangers are knowledgeable about their drama, you will probably become known as the other woman of a cheating spouse, and we'll be blacklisted from our local LS community."
So anyway, last night I said why don't we have 3 couples over Sat night because we've only gone dancing at our local club for the past month but haven't had any playtime. She said great, and that she had planned to go out on Friday night with this guy if ok with me. I said, here I am thinking about something for both of us on Sat., and she already has made plans for herself on Friday for an intimate encounter. So now I'm thinking that she really only goes along with all our playdates to keep me in the game, so I'll allow her to keep on going with this other guy. I called her out on it, and she says she just really likes him, but if I demand it's over then she'll be mopey and dissappointed, but will have to deal with it. Anyway, we talked some more and as a solution I am trying to convince her to convince this guy to get his wife in on it; I'll do his wife to take one for the team (she's actually very foxxy) for my wife to be happy and see the guy, but for her to keep on going with him while he's doing it all behind her back is just not cool with me.
What do you think? Thanks.
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By Tahoe
Put up a ad on CC it was flagged which I really don't get. Someone answer before hand. We exchanged email most of the day yesterday. He is married wants to see his wife with another man. But at the end of the emails he told me that his wife wouldn't not be part of it but he was still willing to do it be behind her back. I don't feel comfortable about it. We don't want or need the drama that may come with it. I told him we are going to pass didn't feel comfortable without his wife.
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By Jane1902
I am ranting. I have tried a different site, Feeld. Chatted with a “single male”. He wanted to be sure I understood the “lifestyle.” Yes. After a fair bit of chatting we decided to meet halfway, a little over a 30 minute drive for me. Brief introductions were exchanged and we started talking lifestyle experiences. I asked if he found it challenging as a single male. Then he said he needed to “clarify” so there wouldn’t be any “expectations.”
Yes he is married but his wife is blind and they didn’t talk much about his outside activities but she is aware. I needed to clarify if this meant she would be upset by what he was doing. Yes. That’s cheating in my book and I left. My mistake was not confirming his status. I don't have a problem if the other partner is fine with it and have enjoyed meeting the other half in the past. His actions are not ENM at all. He sent some message how everything isn’t black and white. I doubt the wife is so blind she can’t see what an asshole he is. The excuse itself is offensive. I flagged his profile as fake because it is. Some people are okay with cheaters but I am not, won’t knowingly hurt someone else.
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By txffswinger
I'll try to make it short. My wife and I are very new to the LS. A couple of months ago we met an experienced couple who we hit off well with, we hung out with them again to get know each other better.
Now fast forward to this past weekend when we met up with them again. We went to a bar together and the drinks were flowing, and we were feeling good. Welp, they invited us back to their house and we said sure. The other husband was on a motorcycle and asked if my wife could ride back with him on the bike and I could follow his wife back, and against my better judgment I let her. My wife likes to ride motorcycles, so the other wife suggested they take the long way home.
Well, it took me and the other wife about 5 minutes to get back, and it took he and my wife a good 15 minutes. When my wife walked in she was happy and giggly and told me the the other husband had something to ask me, and of course I knew what it was. He asked to swap and I said yes.
So for our first experience we attempted a full swap. He and my wife had full intercourse, and unfortunately I had some issues with getting it up and didn't get to have a full swap. My wife allowed some things to happen in the course of her swap that for sure bent, if not broke, our rules. However that's a conversation for another day.
The day after when my wife and I discussed our experience she wasn't forthcoming with everything and even lied about some things that happened. But a few days later when we discussed it again.I asked her about the motorcycle ride, and how we all went from no talk about a swap that night, to when they got back, they wanted to swap. She finally told me that she told him that she was horny and needed to have sex. She says he then pulled over, pulled his junk out, and told her if she wanted it, then they would have to ask me. She then says he kissed her.
She said that was all that happened, which I'm not sure I totally believe her on that.
So, my question is, is him pulling his junk out, and them kissing before any permission was given, considered cheating? Any advice is appreciated.
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By Roliin75
There was a very attractive couple who came to our swing club regularly a few years back. We knew this man (and his wife) but he had a girlfriend who would always come to the club with him. We asked him and he told us his wife had no idea. This was awkward. They were very well liked as a couple and everyone thought they were married to each other. We were in a bad spot...
We did not say anything to his wife mostly because she was just an acquaintance of ours and he was someone my husband worked with. Neither of us appreciated being in that situation.
Has anyone else had this experience?
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