Interacial swingers, are they out there?

[starting2swing 16]

Like we have said before we are new to the swinging scene and have only expierimented very 'softly' once. We are an interacaial couple blk/m and cauc/f and we both know what we find attractive. I (wife) am very sexually attracted to black men and my husband is attracted to white women. Also neither one of us is bi . In the little bit of looking around for other couples that we have done I have noticed that it has narrowed the field. I am just trying to get some input from couples that have expierience in the swinging world, are we going about this the wrong way. While we are not limiting ourselves to just meeting people of our ultimate attractions that is what we would look for first. Also since we have never really done anything serious, could this a way of avoiding letting go of our inhibitions. Any advice or input would help!!

[Alura 2,775]

I'd say y'all are definitely "narrowing the field." I've seen estimates of the percentage of swingers in the general population ranging from three to five percent. I don't know what percentage of the population is made up of interracial couples but, say, five percent? That means roughly one-quarter of one percent of the population is made up of interracial couples who swing.

 

I don't know what percentage of the population is married couples but, say, 35%, (You can plug in the right figures if you care to...) and the rest are children or single people.

 

Therefore, in Tulsa, (Pop. 378,000) there are about 330 couples, pretty much a "needle in the haystack" situation, especially when you factor in other restrictions such as being bi, age, attractiveness, etc. Whoops! It's probably half that because these folks are married to each other.

 

Now, that said, I can tell you there is at least one other interracial couple (like y'all) in Tulsa who swing. They've posted on this board from time to time and seem to be really nice folks.

 

Good luck!

[frenzb4sex 15]

Wow, Mr. Alura...that much math this early, STOP THE INSANITY!!! LOL

 

I do think that it is dependent upon the area you live in that does make a difference. The reason I say that is where we live, we get glimpses of couples on sites from Chicago, Indy, and St. Louis (we're pretty much in a central location between all three).. I think that the actual ratios are much higher in these areas--because just us ourselves have 2 sets of couples we are friends with that are just as "starting" mentioned, black male, white female. I pulled up swappernet just a few moments ago and tried to break it down. I found a total of 910 couples within 700 miles of us that are African American (you can't separate by gender). And when briefly viewing these files, perhaps I was lucky, because about 10 of the first 17 or 18 had the black male/white female.

 

Now, the bi part is a little confusing to me. Starting, are you under the impression that bi couples or at least where the fem is bi that you "can't" play with them? While I know that some couples with bi individuals that that they are looking for same, but the vast majority of these couples don't "have" to have it. I think that will widen your playing field (literally). Unless that is something that you feel uncomfortable playing with, and that's definitely your prerogative.

[LIZA 20]

well here in LA the ratio is pretty high, plenty of interracial couples at the club we go to and a lot of Yahoo groups devoted to it

 

so...............move?

[mrs good times 73]

The club we attend in Reno, NV is very diverse, which we like. It is probably only 50% caucasion. We have a high volumn of interacial, Asian, Latino and African American couples. Everyone is welcome and we all get along well. I was noticing last night that the diversity also makes for a great dance floor. Latino music, hip hop and country makes for some very interesting pole dancing. One of the gentlemen was trying to teach me to dance Latino last night. I was awful but I'm willing to keep trying because it sure was fun.

[mxdtxn774 17]

Ok, interracial cpl here.

 

If my avatar is not a dead giveaway . (at least partially)

 

There are interracial couples out there, and many of the people on this board have played with interracial couples. There is an attraction that many people have with someone of a different ethnic group, and the ethnic "spice" just makes for better play. That does not mean that you have to have it all the time, it would seem no different than your relationship if thats the case.

[Joe_Ang 15]

We have been very fortunate to know many couples in the Lansing/Detroit area who are interracial. I'm sure it's an area dependant issue, but they are out there! There are even many Yahoo groups dedicated to interracial couples.

[WA_Cple 20]

We're an interracial couple too - I am Native American and Mr. WA is Australian.

 

We're so into swinging that we don't limit ourselves on race at all... I find all women to be extremely attractive. If I limit myself at all... its probably age - if they are too young its a bit of a turn-off. I guess it makes me feel too old??!!

 

 

Mrs. WA

[Greg & Sheryl 369]

As frenzb4sex mentioned, the availability of black male/white female couples will depend on what market you live in. In Denver, we can assure you that they are plenty of interracial couples who swing. We know because we're one of them. In fact, our wedding in 2002 was attended by three other such couples. Your city might not have as many, but just be patient and keep looking!

[Alura 2,775]

We agree with Greg & Sheryl. You'll be searching for a rarer commodity but don't give up. We've never searched for a couple based on race but were fortunate enough to play with a white male/black female couple some years ago. They were both great people, the play was fun, but race really had nothing perceptible to do with it.

 

We're still friends with the man. Unfortunately, they divorced and she moved back east. She keeps in touch about once a year, updating us on such things as having gotten her master's and working on her doctorate. They're still good friends, too. He just wouldn't stop squeezing the toothpaste tube in the middle.

[sensuality 2]

Hello

 

We are an interracial couple,too! I'm cherokee indian/european american,he's mexican.I'm bi-he's straight.And, we've discussed the whole straight couple versus the couple w/a bi-female.I go back and forth where I'd prefer the female be bi,also-but....who knows?In the heat of the moment...I think anything could happen {I'm afraid I'm the picky one in this relationship.} When it comes to the guys I prefer the latino look...and if he's not latino,that's fine.But, I love brown eyes and black/brown hair...that's just me.I'm just not the blonde haired/blue eyed type. Sue me! ...

 

The more colors in the rainbow,the prettier it gets!

[knightmare 16]

Hmm, with 8 of the 11 posts here being from either an interracial couple, or a couple who has seen/swung with an interracial couple, what does that do to the math statistics? Perhaps there is a higher percentage of interracial couples that swing vs. the rest of the population?

[Island guy 16]

Island girl and I are also an interracial couple. Although most of our experiences have been with white couples or single females our last experience was also with an interracial couple. She black and he white just like us. I would love to swing with people of all races.

[Chemistry_0518 20]

In the New York area there is a fair number of bm/wf couples who swing. And many of them attend the clubs as well. IMHO, don't limite yourself to biracial couples. You will have a lot to benefit from being more varied and accepting.

[devonsgirl 17]

We are an interacial CPL. D is blk/m and I am a white/f...I am very attracted to black men and he is very attracted to white woman. Especially us redheads. For us the "fantasy" couple (which we know we will never find...lol) would be a big hot black man, and a sexy green eyes redhead. Yup, that would be the ultimate for us....

[marriedwet 34]

Sure are!!! Hubby likes the white girls still, but I love to do the black guys. Hubby loves to watch me. Ya gotta try it girls! facelick

[sensuality 2]

We've come to the conclusion that with our preferences...especially mine {I love caramel skin,hubby's not as picky as I am,but does have his preferences,like blonde hair } that it would be better for us to actually go to a club and "meet" and get to know people,in person.

 

Online, even if the picture of a couple and their profile look great, you just never know until you have had a face to face if you're really going to like someone, let alone get freaky with them I should add here, that we are a mixed couple...and for us, the more diverse the crowd, the better. It's just so much easier to fit in when there's a mixture.

 

However, you can't just limit yourself to one type of couple. Even if you aren't a bi female...ya never know what you might discover about yourself given the right atmosphere facelick And, while my hunny and I do tend to go for our usual preference, like I said, ya just never know who you may click with...chemistry is a tricky thing.

 

Don't put too much pressure on yourselves and just have fun.

[Chemistry_0518 20]

One never knows, do one?

 

But it's always good to be open minded because there are times when someone comes along that may very well surprise you.

 

As for us, we are more comfortable with meeting potential partners in a social setting (dinner, drinks) with no expectations on the parts of anyone so that we can go home, talk, decide, and either make plans or offer apologies.

[Guest salemgurl]

We are also a married, interracial couple, Black, Bi-female and white straight male.

 

We've attended every social swingers club we've located on the web in Massachusetts and I've been the only black woman at the parties I've been to.

 

Yes, there are plenty black men with white women.

 

My question to the group is for the couples that live in the state of Massachusetts and New England....

 

*the last swing party I went to, I went with my boyfriend (not my husband). My date was from Bangladesh (an american), a handsome, very fit, wealthy young man. He noticed the same thing I did....

the groups are cliquish

the white women are only bi-curious with other white women

there weren't any bisexual women at the party

the couples were not interested in us joining them

most of the couples were into soft swinging.

 

Are there any bisexual, women's clubs in the Greater Boston area?

Are there any bisexual, black women's groups in the Greater Boston area?

are there any FULL SWAP couples groups in the Greater Boston area?

 

My husband and I have noticed the swingers parties in Rhode Island are filled with out of shape, time warped, couples, age 30 plus, who are into full swing but many don't like to use safety precautions (condoms, dental dams).

 

We are college degreed, attractive, fit, sociable, and a very outgoing couple with many interests including travelling. (http://www.swingstock.com) awesome!

 

So, I know this isn't just me!

 

If you know of any true bisexual women in the greater Boston area who can swing and play without their mate, PLEASE, let me know!!!

 

Thanks.

[mixedcouple3426 15]

salemgurl,

 

First of all, I feel for you. I'm sorry to hear that your experience in the lifestyle so far hasn't been much of an experience. As an interracial couple new to the lifestyle, I'm sure there are going to be some challenges for us as well.

 

Although interracial couples are increasing in numbers, I think we are still among the smallest minority of couples (especially white m's w/ black f's which is also our status). My gf and I are in the curious about swinging stage at this time so we haven't had any experiences yet. I have been scouring the net for info about swinging quite a bit of late and in the pictures or video footage I have seen so far there doesn't seem to be many blacks in the scene period. This wouldn't be a problem for the gf because she isn't interested in black men romantically or sexually at this time but for me that would really suck because I love black women.

 

That being said, I could go out on a limb and say that the problems you are having might be a result of what I said above. Right now in this age there might be a lot more females willing to swing with black men simply because the swinging world has been more exposed to black men than black women. I could imagine black men having trouble breaking into the lifestyle at first also. Even though the population of interracial couples continues to increase, interracial porn for example, is still a niche or is even listed as fetish at times which suggests that there's still a taboo factor. I could go out on another limb and guess that black women are among the smallest ratio in the swinging lifestyle so it might take some time for the swinging world to embrace you with open arms. Let's be real for a moment. There are still a lot of racial barriers to overcome with the general public and there is still a lot of ignorance on both sides white and black. We don't know enough about each other yet to break through all the stereotypical bs. Even in Saint Paul, MN where we live which is one of the most culturally and racially diverse areas in the U.S, we get a lot of stares and comments from blacks and whites when we are together. Personally,I could care less. People are people to me.

 

Hopefully as time goes by and the numbers of interracial couples increase,the number of black women in the lifestyle will grow also which will result in more action for all of us.

 

Lastly, you guys and gals out there in the lifestyle, give black women a chance because if you haven't yet, you don't know what y'all are missing.

And even if you don't have any desire to be with a black woman sexually but you see them at a club, party or whatever, please at least make them feel welcome because even if you don't somebody like me definitely will

[Chemistry_0518 20]

Excellent comment, MixedCouple. We also regret the lack of black females on the swinging scene. While we have come across a fair amount of black males, we find that we would thoroughly enjoy meeting a black female. facelick

[sensuality 2]

Hello Salemgurl...

It's interesting that you are writing about you being the only "black" lady at these clubs. I never even thought about it until you brought it up.However, about the "white" bi-females only wanting to be with other "white" bi-females? Girl, I wish you lived closer...

 

My hunny and I {we're a mixed couple, he's Mexican and I'm considered "white"} anyway,we just attended our first on-premise club and we were on the dance floor. There was a stripper pole in the middle of the room...I had always wanted to dance on one of those, so anyway, there was a "black" {I prefer to say African-American} lady dancing up there,she was absolutely awesome...her rhythm was amazing and she was tearing up that pole And, yes, she was the only African American lady in the club{come to think of it}.

 

Anywho, she was on that pole for a few songs and then she got down for a break, I had asked the D.J. to play one of my favorite songs and I jumped up to the pole...and started dancing...and low and behold that lady came over and asked if she could dance with me too. Of course, I said yes! She said she'd seen me dancing and liked the way I moved...and then we both tore up that pole And, yes,I definitely would've played with her We became very aroused while we were dancing, as you can imagine ,but then...,my hunny and I met her husband and there wasn't a match. He was an older "white" man and as nice as he was, I wasn't attracted to him sexually...soooooo...there ends my story. I just wanted you to know that there are "white" girls who'd relish the opportunity to play with you

 

I'm not picky about any type of ethnicity when it comes to females {But, I am partial to caramel colored skin, whether you are a female or a male } if you look nice enough,and your personality ~A BIG +~ is even better and there's chemistry...and most importantly, you have to smell good, then it's on!

 

Good luck to you in the future

[KarlnRenee 15]

We're in an odd situation because not only are we interracial (he's AA, I'm Cauc), but there is a 15 year age difference (he's older, but I don't think it's obvious that it's by 15 yeras), and we're in different locations (I'm in NY, he's in DFW). Having grown up in very diverse areas (NJ/NY) I've never been one to notice interracial couples-to me they just blend in with same race couples. Karl, on the other hand pointed out that we're more noticable to others in his area. We're met couples in both places but I'm sure it's more accepted up here in NY. We're also found that the few interracial couples in his area assume we'll be interested in them simply because we have something in common (being interracial) and we've had some negative responses to couples if we tell them we aren't interested.

[mixedcouple3426 15]

I know people that came up here to MN from the south and they all have said at one time or another how surprised they were to see so many interracial couples. I guess interracial interaction of any kind in some places in the south is either unheard of or greatly shunned still

[Chemistry_0518 20]

Mixed, you will also find that even in placed like the NY/NJ area you will find pwopl who have a serious problem when it comes to swinging and race.

[mixedcouple3426 15]

Chemistry, I hear you. Even here in Mn which is one of the most culturally and racially diverse areas in the country per capita, my gf and I get a lot of looks. Most of the looks we get are from black men. At first it bothered me a bit but now I get a kick out of it. My gf often comes home telling me about black men from the neighborhood who have seen us together, they ask her questions like "what does a white boy know what to do with all that?" or "no white man can do for a sista what a black man can". These comments always pertain to sex, like I don't have the same equipment they do lol. It's funny to me. She always tells them that we have been together for 7 years so he must be doing something right. Her longest relationship before me was a year and I am the first white guy she has ever had sex with. It's like c'mon people, women have innies and men have outies, it's not that hard to figure out lol.

[Pepper & Drew 384]

I'm reallly surprised at the reaction that Salemgirl got. We are a bf/wm couple and I've never experienced anything nearly like that....but then again, we've not been to a houseparty. I've not had any problem "hooking up" with caucasian women or men, or felt out of place in any event. In fact, I've had most of our playmates tell me at one time or another that playing with a black woman was a big thrilll, because it was new and different and something they hadn't experienced before. I really think that was just one bad experience---and not one that is indicative of the whole swinging scene. Please don't let it sour you to the lifestyle in general. If I can find acceptance in the deep south, i'm sure you can too.