Wife is using swinging to cope.

[distraughtparents 7]

She keeps asking to do every week now. She wants to go on a two week cruise. How do I convince her to stop and get some therapy.

[enhancer 1,585]

As for getting her to stop swinging just tell her you don’t want to do it at the current time!  If one partner wants to stop then both partners stop.  I would think this is something most people agree to when they get into swinging.

As for convincing her to go to therapy I got nothing.  It took my ex wife 6 years after she left me before she finally admitted she had issues to deal with and go to a therapist for help.  

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Not trying to pry, but if you don't mind sharing, what is it she is trying to cope from?  That might help me give better advice.

 

Agree with enhancer though, stopping should be just a matter of saying you want to stop. There may be grudging agreement then fallout from that, but that can hopefully be you two can work through. If she just flat out refuses to consider it, then you are in a really tough spot and I don't know if there is any way of dealing with it.

[TricianMike 772]

Did you agree to swinging and then decided to stop? We only swing or play together or with the others blessing, any other arrangement could lead to problems. You are vague on what the deep problem is. 

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

I'm going to echo what I said in the other thread started by this OP; If the thread here that we are posting to isn't legit, then I think we'd all appreciate it if the poster would please just move along to something else. It's not needed, wanted, or useful here.

 

If it is legit, I'm with Enhancer. Stop swinging. Period.

 

 

[discreetplay 235]

This OP has another thread asking about very emotional issues (son found out...). I would recommend a lot of marriage counseling and individual therapy.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Yes, the other thread was about the son finding out and blaming the parents for not 'being there' while he was growing up because they were swinging on the weekends instead.

 

She is doing what many people do when they have problems coping: throwing themselves into whatever it is they are using to distract them from the actual problem. We agree with the above: take a break from swinging...but be aware that just because you are taking a break, doesn't mean that she is (trust but verify). Just like someone using drugs or alcohol to help them cope, you need to make sure that she doesn't continue to do it on the sly since this is what they are doing to keep from facing the problem. Maybe see if she is willing to try couple counseling 'for you'...that you are having a problem with it and you want her to help you by going to couple counseling. Worst thing that can happen here is she says no. Personally, we feel that both of you could probably benefit from some outside intervention as well as taking a break to allow some time to 'digest' everything that has gone on. Good luck and please know that we are still here to help.

[distraughtparents 7]

she finally agreed

 

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

We'll be here for both of you if you need help, or just a kind ear to listen. Good luck and know we are with you.

[distraughtparents 7]

I just need her to stop calling our son. Our son picks up but gives one word answers

[distraughtparents 7]

can anyone swinger friendly therapist in jersey

is that even a thing

[NWAtlSwing 522]

There are therapists open to that.

 

Try Psychology today for listings. Talk to the therapist up front to ask