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We tried swinging and it did not go well my husband has become withdrawn

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6 hours ago, Davdia said:

I’m glad for both of you, you do however have a long road ahead of you, he is by no means okay. 
You hurt him deeply and you were supposed to be the one he could trust no matter what, he will not forget this ever.
I wonder if you could give some advice from your experience so that other newbie’s don’t make the same mistake as you did?

If  you could give us the biggest takeaway from your experience, what would it be?

I think my biggest takeaway that I am responsible for is that I should have been more attentive before we went, I should have noticed the signs because they were there all along.

And my biggest advice is talk to your partner and make the rules for any such outing clear, we did not do that well enough looking back in hindsight, there needs to be boundaries  and making sure everything is being done with respect for your partner.

I don't think anyone in here wants to hurt their partner in any way but I did because I got swept up and ignored what in hindsight should have been clear signs.

He also told me he should have told me about this trauma and no way in hell would I have proposed something like this had I known what happened to him.

But for the time being and honestly don't care if we ever do this again, it's gonna be about me and him and trying to fix things all me and him can do is take it one day at a time.

I care too much about people and knowing how hurt he got and the pain he went through makes me physically ill, that night is not a happy fun memory for me it's a reminder now on how it almost destroyed my marriage and how I without knowing hurt somebody I love very much but my intention does not matter he still got hurt.

So please talk to your partner and if you are too excited and see your partner being nervous and insecure don't try to steamroll them or get them into a lifestyle they might not be compatible with that is a recipe for disaster.



 

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3 minutes ago, wife86 said:

I think my biggest takeaway that I am responsible for is that I should have been more attentive before we went, I should have noticed the signs because they were there all along.

And my biggest advice is talk to your partner and make the rules for any such outing clear, we did not do that well enough looking back in hindsight, there needs to be boundaries  and making sure everything is being done with respect for your partner.

I don't think anyone in here wants to hurt their partner in any way but I did because I got swept up and ignored what in hindsight should have been clear signs.

He also told me he should have told me about this trauma and no way in hell would I have proposed something like this had I known what happened to him.

But for the time being and honestly don't care if we ever do this again, it's gonna be about me and him and trying to fix things all me and him can do is take it one day at a time.

I care too much about people and knowing how hurt he got and the pain he went through makes me physically ill, that night is not a happy fun memory for me it's a reminder now on how it almost destroyed my marriage and how I without knowing hurt somebody I love very much but my intention does not matter he still got hurt.

So please talk to your partner and if you are too excited and see your partner being nervous and insecure don't try to steamroll them or get them into a lifestyle they might not be compatible with that is a recipe for disaster.



 

My heart just grew 3 times its size!

My respect for you rose way more than that!

Good luck and don’t take each other’s love for granted!!!!!!!

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His telling you about his past experience might just be the most intimate thing he has ever done. Something like that is very difficult and requires more trust than most would realize.

 

 

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On 9/12/2022 at 12:42 AM, wife86 said:


Thank you he came by a week ago and wanted to pick up some stuff we ended up talking for almost three hours he was not so anxious anymore I even hugged him when he walked in I was honestly glad to see him and he did not flinch or pull away.

I told him everything how I had been doing and he told me how he was doing it was no yelling or drama more him just listening to how I have been doing and he was not doing much better, I decided to make one final attempt and asked him to please move back home.

He seemed receptive and he ended up staying the night and even slept in the same bed .. no sex but he was sleeping i just watched him for maybe half an hour while he slept and when I woke up he was still sleeping next to me I was so happy to see that he had not left or was in the guest room again.

We are giving this another go he also told he started seeing a therapist to deal with his trauma and we are also gonna see someone as a couple.

 

That is AWESOME!!!    :)

 

 

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On 9/12/2022 at 1:26 PM, wife86 said:

I care too much about people and knowing how hurt he got and the pain he went through makes me physically ill, that night is not a happy fun memory for me it's a reminder now on how it almost destroyed my marriage and how I without knowing hurt somebody I love very much but my intention does not matter he still got hurt.

So please talk to your partner and if you are too excited and see your partner being nervous and insecure don't try to steamroll them or get them into a lifestyle they might not be compatible with that is a recipe for disaster.

I understand what happened here much better now, and I'm really sorry for what you both went through. I'm very happy, though, that you're working on it together. He seems to recognize that you love him and that there were honest mistakes, not malice.

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On 8/9/2022 at 9:15 AM, Davdia said:

I still stand by my post. I would be willing to bet money that more swinging disasters are because the one who asked for it looked out for their own interest over their partners first. I’m not against swinging, I’m against selfishness. We all know if she had made sure he started with the other woman first ( because it was her idea)  it would have given him every out. Then it would have been on him. There are dozens of post here where this exact thing happens. Oddly enough if this same thing happened to her, especially if she was apprehensive, everyone would be posting that it was his fault for not paying attention to her. Crazy double standard…..love and respect is love and respect, no matter gender. 

(Note: Emphasis on a section of Davida’s thoughtful comment above is mine.)

 

If a person’ relationship is such that they are focused on making sure the potential untoward outcome of some decision "would have been on (their partner)" perhaps they should be examining the fundamentals of their relationship instead of whether they should be engaging in recreational sex with others. 
 

Just a thought.

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Hi everyone just wanted to say thank you all for your advice and just post a little update.

Unfortunetley despite everything we ended up separating he made the descision a couple of months ago.

He really tried and I knew he did he went to therapy, we talked lots but he was still uncomfortable and he finally told me a couple of months ago he could not do this anymore.

I think the mental image for him was just hard for him to get over and no matter how much I told him I loved him he just said he had that little voice in the back of his head telling him to walk away.

I will probably not post here again but all of you were so nice with your advice so you deserved an update and wanted to say thank you despite everything.
 

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My heart breaks for you two all over again.  I have a feeling that you won't be lonely in the long run.

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On 7/28/2022 at 2:39 PM, bbarnsworth said:

I'm going to have to disagree with the idea that 10 minutes can destroy a marriage (at least in this case).

Not going to say a word!

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So sorry to hear this, but some people are just not wired for non-monogamy. Still, he could and should have said something at ANY point prior to things going over his edge. We hope the best for you as you move forward and thank you for the follow up.

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17 hours ago, GoldCoCouple said:

Still, he could and should have said something at ANY point prior to things going over his edge.

And still some of you blame him…unbelievable!! 

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My two takeaways from this thread: 1) sex is a strange and powerful thing that affects people differently, and 2) we here are a self-selected group who have a particular view of sex.  It is an overwhelmingly positive view, but not one universally shared.

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37 minutes ago, couplers said:

My two takeaways from this thread: 1) sex is a strange and powerful thing that affects people differently, and 2) we here are a self-selected group who have a particular view of sex.  It is an overwhelmingly positive view, but not one universally shared.

I totally agree and one thing I  would like to add is just as people grow into swinging, they can also fall out of swinging, especially as they get older. I  love swinging more as I get older, but I have had partners that get out. Yes it takes a special kind of person that will share their partner, it's not for everyone!

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I wasn't trying to affix blame, but once they both agreed that they were going to try swinging, only he could have said that he was having difficulties with it...she didn't have any idea and thought things were just fine. One of our permanent rules is that if either one of us says no to anything, then we are both united in saying no with no questions necessary and no explanation required. If he would have said that he was wanting to stop (or even slow down) then this could have been avoided. Nobody is at fault, but if there is a lack of communication, then problems can easily develop.

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17 hours ago, GoldCoCouple said:

only he could have said that he was having difficulties with it...she didn't have any idea and thought things were just fine.

It was her idea from the beginning and she knew she didn’t have any issues…..all she ever had to do was look at him.

it was her idea!!!! Therefore HER responsibility to make sure HE was ok. She jumped on some guys dick without even thinking about him.

If the man did this to her he would be an asshole!

 

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She should have made sure he was enjoying himself before she touched anyone…this was her idea, her responsibility, her failure and her fault period.

if your so selfish that you want to swing and you don’t even check in on your spouse to see if they’re okay, you got what you deserved. 

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Bottom line - the turtle often DOES win this race! - Slow, steady, careful, often times methodical, consistent, looking at the situation in cautious, thoughtful, processing, reflection, careful slow motion before moving ahead. 

Edited by herpob

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She should have made sure he was enjoying himself before she touched anyone…this was her idea, her responsibility, her failure and her fault period.

if your so selfish that you want to swing and you don’t even check in on your spouse to see if they’re okay, you got what you deserved. 

Davdia: you make a good point here, but we still think you are being a little harsh on her. Swinging is a TEAM sport...we win as a team and we lose as a team. Unfortunately for them, they lost as a team and now they no longer play together. It doesn't really matter who is at fault at this point, just that the communication always needs to be completely open and honest.

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I just wanna add that I spoke to him yesterday and he seemed happy he had been with his brother and a few friends and seemed normal and even cheerful, it's like not being with me made him the happy, funny, delightful guy I fell in love with again.

I asked him once more if he was sure about the seperation he said yes I can't go back to pretending everything is fine when it's not because that's not fair towards you and this would have come up again he said.

He even admitted he thought that throwing away the marriage was insane but he did not wanna go back and forth anymore and felt it would only come up again sooner rather than later.

He told me he is seeing a therapist to deal with all of the stuff and that it had been helpful but what really made me puzzled is that his therapist had even suggested he be careful of throwing his marriage away.

I just wish he followed that advice atleast I honestly feel a little patethic now sitting here writing all of this out to you guys hoping he comes back.

Edited by wife86
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16 hours ago, GoldCoCouple said:

Davdia: you make a good point here, but we still think you are being a little harsh on her. Swinging is a TEAM sport...we win as a team and we lose as a team. Unfortunately for them, they lost as a team and now they no longer play together. It doesn't really matter who is at fault at this point, just that the communication always needs to be completely open and honest.

Sorry for being so harsh but if only one person reads thread this and it helps their marriage it will be worth being harsh……almost every thread that ends terribly starts with the one who wanted to swing pushing the other person too fast without thinking about anything but their own thoughts.

Edited by Davdia

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On 5/11/2022 at 8:05 AM, wife86 said:

 he can't unsee that moment where I was enjoying myself he just keeps getting reminded of it and it's hard for him.

So strange.  He makes it sound as if you murdered someone rather than engaging in a totally normal, natural, mutually pleasurable act.  May I ask, were you a virgin when you met him?  If not, how did he ever deal with your past?  If so, it is highly unlikely he will meet another virgin anywhere near his age.

 

I wish you well on a new beginning. 

Edited by couplers
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4 hours ago, couplers said:

So strange.  He makes it sound as if you murdered someone rather than engaging in a totally normal, natural, mutually pleasurable act.  May I ask, were you a virgin when you met him?  If not, how did he ever deal with your past?  If so, it is highly unlikely he will meet another virgin anywhere near his age.

 

I wish you well on a new beginning. 

He knew and past partners he did not care about at all, that never bothered him.

 

I think seeing me with that man was too hard on him for reasons i explained earlier.

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Keep moving forward with your life, but let him know that the door back to you is still open (for now). He might still come back to his senses, but you shouldn't put your life on pause hoping that it may happen. Still wishing you the best outcome...

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I concur with what GoldCoCouple said.

 

There is no reason for you to close a door that you do not want shut.     

The only caution is that you do not let it being open stop you from living ALL of your life. He may not ever walk through it.

 

If you should happen to come across someone else with whom a lifetime is desirable and he has not resurfaced, then quietly close and bar the door.

 

Best of good fortune as you travel on.

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It boggles my mind of how many times I have read were if one is a no go then stay out. If they can't agree on a boundary then back off. I  can't believe that they want her to stay swinging when he is against it. Put the shoe on the other foot, if she didn't want to, would you still encourage him to continue? I don't think so! I just don't think it's good for her to stay in, whenever he wants out.

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We have never suggested that she keep swinging either...that would just be foolish. Never once have we even thought that they, or she, should continue in this. We have posted that one of our hard rules has (and always will be) if one of us says no, then we both are saying no with no repercussions or explanations necessary. This includes swinging. If either one of us were to say that we didn't want to do this any more, we would both walk away without looking back. This obviously didn't work for them and, if they are able to reconcile, they should never even think of trying to return to swinging. Now, if things don't work out and they don't get back together (and that isn't looking good), and she moves on and finds another partner who is open to the idea...we would probably tell her to seriously reconsider making the same mistake again unless they are both 100% sure that this is for the two of them. Swinging is not for everyone...in fact it is for the very few. If you are wired for it, it can be exceptional, but most people are not wired that way, and there's nothing wrong with that since that is how most people are. It is a Pandora's box that few can successfully open and continue.

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On 5/26/2022 at 11:54 AM, couplers said:

my amateur, out-there suggestion would be to do what my husband did for me as we became nonmonogamous: he made it clear that I could keep my ex-fiancé as a boyfriend with no expectation of reciprocity on his part.  While I continued having sex with my ex, and a had a short term fling with another guy, he remained monogamous with me.  It made me feel powerful, loved, appreciated.  Perhaps you should offer to let your husband play while making it clear that you have no desire to do so.  I think it would be a boost for his self-esteem to have a loving wife totally satisfied with him and some pleasure on the side with your knowledge, permission, and encouragement. 

 

(BTW, After two years of my husband showing me by example what love really is, I just didn't let him, I wanted him to play with other women. 

The above was my suggestion early in this thread, and it was shot down for good, understandable reasons.  But with so many posters focusing on whether she should continue playing, I again suggest that perhaps she should consider turning it around and having him play while she doesn't.  He would ultimately understand the pleasure and fulfillment of letting one's partner be sexually free.

 

To me, being in the lifestyle,  whichever way a couple gets there, is important to a high level of happiness.  Knowing what I know now, if I were back at the beginning of my relationships, I would do whatever it would take for us to get there.

 

Please test my theory again. 

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On 8/21/2023 at 1:12 PM, couplers said:

The above was my suggestion early in this thread, and it was shot down for good, understandable reasons.  But with so many posters focusing on whether she should continue playing, I again suggest that perhaps she should consider turning it around and having him play while she doesn't.  He would ultimately understand the pleasure and fulfillment of letting one's partner be sexually free.

 

To me, being in the lifestyle,  whichever way a couple gets there, is important to a high level of happiness.  Knowing what I know now, if I were back at the beginning of my relationships, I would do whatever it would take for us to get there.

 

Please test my theory again. 

I think there is nothing wrong with being sexually free or in the lifestyle but as I have just experienced it cost me my marriage and someone I had planned to grow old with.

I for the record have no plans to do this again I feel disgusted with myself and everytime I hear about swinging or enm all I can think about is how it costs me everything.

I messed up and it costs me everything I am just lucky my now ex-husband is not vindictive or an asshole about it but instead has treated me with so much kindness to help me through this which only makes me miss him even more.

We agreed to sell the house but knows getting an apartment is difficult because there are so many looking for a place in our city, and even went above and beyond helping me find a place.

Despite everything he still supports me eventhough we will never be a couple again I was so fucking stupid I don't need to fuck other people I only needed him and I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night asking myself what the fuck I have done.

So screw your theory
 

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7 hours ago, wife86 said:

I think there is nothing wrong with being sexually free or in the lifestyle but as I have just experienced it cost me my marriage and someone I had planned to grow old with.

I for the record have no plans to do this again I feel disgusted with myself and everytime I hear about swinging or enm all I can think about is how it costs me everything.

I messed up and it costs me everything I am just lucky my now ex-husband is not vindictive or an asshole about it but instead has treated me with so much kindness to help me through this which only makes me miss him even more.

We agreed to sell the house but knows getting an apartment is difficult because there are so many looking for a place in our city, and even went above and beyond helping me find a place.

Despite everything he still supports me eventhough we will never be a couple again I was so fucking stupid I don't need to fuck other people I only needed him and I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night asking myself what the fuck I have done.

So screw your theory
 

I think you’re an idiot if you don’t send your ex a copy of this entire thread! Then he’s an idiot for not seeing what he’s letting go.

 I also think you’re both idiots if you don’t fix your relationship. Everyone makes mistakes………not everyone learns from them, you clearly have.

 I sincerely hope you two find a way, remember it can be a long path back. Don’t give up

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4 hours ago, Davdia said:

fix your relationship. Everyone makes mistakes

With sex as with everything else in life, if something doesn't work out, talk about it, make adjustments, and if it can't be made to work, move on together without recriminations or blame.  This could be a restaurant, a vacation, a job, a move.  Or sex, or romance.

 

I have made mistakes, done stupid, even wrong things.  It was always met with love, understanding, discussion, and optimism for the future from my husband and the others in our family.  I try hard to be the same in all things big and small. 

 

 

 

 

Edited by couplers
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On 11/4/2023 at 5:33 AM, couplers said:

if something doesn't work out, talk about it, make adjustments, and if it can't be made to work, move on together without recriminations or blame.

Partners in any adventure need to have this attitude. 

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Thank you for continuing to update how things are going with you. It sounds like he still cares for you or else he wouldn't be so accommodating. Just remember that you both made mistakes, and try to accept that and move on. Neither of you know the future so there is still a possibility that things may work out between you two. We continue to send help, support, and positive feelings your way.

 

We agree that you probably should either send a copy of this thread or a link to this entire board to your ex. It may let him see more of your side of what happened. At this point, it really can't hurt and maybe he can take a look at what happened from a different perspective now that more time has gone by. We continue to wish you both the best.

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Wow, I don’t know if the op is still around or reading this but if you are please don't blame yourself for what happened.

 

You didn't do a thing wrong and believe you me I know about past trauma because I've been there. We recently had a hiccup in our swinging world but leaving my wife wouldn't even cross my mind.

 

For what its worth your husband as thrown away something that he will probably will never find again. You did everything right, you supported him, you reassured him and you never gave up on him. 

 

It doesn't matter what happened in his past because you cant let the past rule your whole life. My past was totally horrific but I have the best wife in the world and love our life together and swinging just enhances it.

 

I think its time to draw a line under it all and move on. Go out, enjoy yourself and you will meet someone else. I think over time your husband will really regret leaving you over such a trivial thing but he will have to deal with that.

 

Also this thread is a warning to others not to jump head first into swinging! When we started we talked and talked before doing anything. We made ground rules and our first ever meet was very tame. We arranged to meet a guy for a bj meet. We decided that if I couldn't handle watching my wife give a bj then swinging wasn't for us.

 

Obviously I enjoyed it immensely and then we took small steps, meeting different people and going a little further each time. So our swinging life evolved and still is.

 

Good luck to the op and I would love to read how you go in the future so please leave the odd update.

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I'm in a contemplative mood this morning, and this made me think.  First, if I were young again and knew what I know now, I would only seek partners to be in the lifestyle.  Three reasons that I didn't understand when I was twenty - I'm not a one man woman; it makes me happy knowing that the loves of my life are enjoying sexual and/or romantic relationships with others; I have a strong Lesbian side.  I could live in a closed poly relationship or an open one, or a mix as I do now.  Just not a monogamous, strictly hetero one.  In particular, I would not want to be a mother without being in a committed Lesbian, co-parenting relationship. 

 

3 hours ago, starswingers said:

this thread is a warning to others not to jump head first into swinging! . We decided that if I couldn't handle watching my wife give a bj then swinging wasn't for us.

I/we got into our current, wonderful poly family situation the opposite way.  Basically, I met the man who would become my husband while still fucking (and admittedly in love with) my ex-fiancé.  He said that is fine with it, and asked me to marry him.  I believe that this is the ultimate future of relationships, since humans are inherently non-monogamous.  We will start our sex lives with no expectations of exclusivity, meet, date, and eventually pair up and marry, but not generally become monogamous.  Spouses will take pleasure in each others outside play.

 

The problem now is that religion and society create such demons in us that must first be overcome. 

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The more I got to know Daniela, the woman who became my wife, the more I realized that she was inherently not a one man woman. Our mistake in the lifestyle was becoming monogamous in marriage after having started our relationship while still seeing others. I was happy with it (I had been monogamous in my prior marriage for twenty years), but I got the feeling that Daniela was not in her milieu. After I told her that I was ok, more than ok, with her having other sex partners, she was much happier. I became much happier as well, including when we agreed that I should have other partners as well.

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On 11/26/2023 at 2:58 PM, Numex said:

Our mistake in the lifestyle was becoming monogamous in marriage after having started our relationship while still seeing others.

The usual way couples enter the lifestyle is after long years of marriage, then great inertia has to be overcome.  It seems to me that with current sexual attitudes things will happen the other way around, singles in something like the lifestyle will get married and continue their non-monogamous ways.  Kids now do group dating among friends instead of going out in pairs, sometimes pairing up for sex, so it's not a stretch. 

 

I married while keeping my ex-fiancé as my boyfriend.  I probably couldn't have "opened up" my marriage afterwards if it started monogamously because of my religious upbringing.  But hubby letting me play from the beginning eventually allowed me to let him.  We bonded with two other women who formed our family with us. 

 

 

Edited by couplers

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      It's a long ride on your way to your first threesome.  No matter if you are driving 2 hours or 2 minutes, it seems like you are forever getting there.

      You don't know if the thoughts in your mind or the blood in your cock will explode first.
       
      You have nothing to go on but a few grainy photos; usually one, maybe two if you are lucky.  And the eyes... the eyes are always blotted out in those photos. No one wants to be recognized by friends or family.  They never realize that friends or family would have to be swinging to see those grainy photos in the swinger magazines.  Those "dirty" magazines hidden in the back of the combination book store/record shop.
       
      Yes, you were nervous going to the checkout with those swinger mags, purchasing some mediocre cd or magazine to hide from the other patrons the depravity of the sex acts dominating your thoughts.  The relief you feel when you are sitting in your car with your treasure.  The thrill of looking through the candidates, sifting through the obese or obnoxious looking couples to find that perfect gem, the one couple that displays "couple or single male wanted."  You don't focus on the husbands, just the wives to see if they are hot.  Hell, they don't have to be hot, just the average to middling females who aren't looking for 10 inch cocks.  They nearly all ask for 10 inch cocks for a 7 inch cock holster.  You curse your parents for the mediocrity of your birth right.
       
      You find a few candidates. You mail to the reference number on the photo c/o the magazine forwarding service, enclose your Polaroids....and wait.  You buy an answering machine...and wait.  You check your messages for two weeks...and wait.  You wait and you masturbate to the thoughts of what you want to happen.  The answer doesn't come by phone, but by mail.  The couple writes and expresses interest.  Apparently your cock pick wasn't all that mediocre, or it's your young flesh she desires more than the cervix pounding from the other bullish candidates.  
       
      They send photos. Colored ones. Kodachrome.
       
      They give you a phone number. A city two hours away. They are a better than average couple.  No heavy weights. He is bi, she is straight. Your are 24.  They are 33 and 35.  You haven't tried bisexuality before, but your heart is racing now, anticipating something new, something erotic...your first threesome.
       
      You call the number. The wife answers and you give them the phony last name that you made up on the letter, and they give you the phony last name that they made up.  It's part of the game.   You banter nervously. They ask questions. You ask questions.  "What do you enjoy?"  "Do you like anal?"  "Do you like cum in your mouth?"  It doesn't matter.  If they said that they were going to cut your throat afterward, you would still go.  You are hooked. You set up a weekend meet at a motel at their location. King-size bed. Hard to explain to the motel clerk why you are asking for a king-size bed.  They don't ask. They've seen it all.
       
      The husband picks you up at the motel. Nice guy. Personable. Not his first rodeo. He drives you to their place, which is a surprise, but you are so nervous that you don't remember the address or how to get there. You go in. You meet the wife and son. She doesn't disappoint.  She is a looker. The teenage son is off to a friend's place and you are just someone going to a party with his parents. He doesn't know that you will be soon fucking his mother.  After the son leaves, they show you photos of their past swinging adventures.  If you had doubts, then now you are sure that this isn't their first rodeo.  Your cock or your mind. Both are about to explode.
       
      They follow you back to the hotel room that you rented.  Locked door, "Do not Disturb" sign.
       
      She kisses her husband and it starts. The disrobing. You are nervous. What to do first. Follow their lead and try not to appear overbearing or demanding.  She's on the bed, and he dives into a mouthful of vaginal bliss. You nervously start kissing her, massaging her breast, kissing her nipples.  Then you get on your knees and present your mediocre cock for her to devour.  She doesn't hesitate.  She has your cock buried down her throat while the husband buries his tongue in her bush.  The husband comes up for air, and moves to her breast, teasing.  You move to the holy of holies.  You lick, suck, and drink in the juices, probing with deep tongue thrusts, tasting the walls of her vaginal cavity while she is licking the husband's cock. Your member is not much different than his. You are relieved.  
       
      The position changes. She lays on her side. He enters her vagina from the rear, leaving her clitoris exposed. She discussed this with you on the phone.  Licking her while her husband fucks.  You go down and start to lick that clitoris, less than a inch from the pounding cock. You remember that he is bi. He wants this. You hesitantly reach up, and start to cradle his jewels, all the time her juices mingles with the fleshy taste of cock.  You can't bring yourself to put his cock in your mouth, so you go on licking the clit and fondling the balls until he grunts and fills her with cum.  He withdraws. You switch position.  His cum lubricates her vagina.  There is nothing sloppy about these seconds. You pound her while he licks and returns the favor of cradling your balls.  He doesn't suck you off, not sure if you will be offended. It doesn't matter he says. They just love fucking.  
       
      You release your semen into her, and you all relax, sitting and talking while a double load of cum streams from her pussy. You regret what the hotel maids will have to clean up. She pees. Returns. The ritual starts again. This time the cunnilingus is mixed with unfamiliar flavors. His cum. Your cum.  You don't give a fuck.  The thrill of the three-way has over ridden any social mores that you were raised with.
       
      More sex. More bi touching. This time you pull out and shoot your cum over her.  With that baptism, the holy rites have been completed. There are photos and kisses given. Promises of future sex.
       
      This was your first threesome.
    • By C3po
      This all started around forty years ago when my wife Beth and I had dated for a few years then married. It wasn't long after we married that I introduced her to her first big realistic porn star dildo.  When she first saw it she laughed and said, "That'll never fit in my pussy, are you nuts?!" But she agreed to trying and found not only did it fit but she really enjoyed it. She was amazed by how much she enjoyed it.  So much so that she requested I use it on her quite a lot. She also discovered she enjoyed big cock porn, she was fascinated by it. Soon was I combining using a huge dildo on her at the same time she watched big cock porn, this led her to experience huge orgasms. She couldn't get enough. She was finally exploring her sexuality and expanding her outlook on sexual pleasure.
       
      One night after some really hot sex I  questioned her if she ever fantasized about fucking other men, especially well-hung men. She responded that of course she did, stated that most women had this fantasy, and she believed it was quite common. So I pursued it further and asked her if she wanted to try another man's cock and how much did she really desire to do it? She said that it sounded exciting and fun but she would never do anything to endanger our marriage. I said,  "What if I told you that I wanted to watch you have sex with another man, one that had a really big cock. Would you then consider it?" She laughed and said she'd be game if it was something I was serious about and really wanted her to do. She said, "Come on, let's be real. It's exciting and fun to imagine it, but to really do it? Please! That's a major game changer."
       
      So I said, "I'm very serious. I've watched the way you enjoy the dildos especially while watching big cock videos. It turns me on big time seeing how excited you get and how many times you climax from doing these two things at the same time. I want to watch you do it for real. No BS, just watching you getting slammed by a big cock would be a huge turn-on for me. So what do you really think now that you know that I'm serious and am giving you this opportunity?"
       
      I could see her giving it some serious thought, she didn't get mad or upset at me or the idea, no resistance whatsoever to my request.  The more she considered the idea the more it appeared to me that she was very intrigued with the idea and it excited her.
       
      She started asking all kinds of questions, like wouldn't I be jealous, or think the worst of her, or what if she really enjoyed it and wanted more or didn't feel comfortable screwing another man, then what? Were there any rules and what were the consequences? Was I absolutely sure that I really wanted her to do this, because once done there was no going back!
       
      After she finished asking everything she had concerns about I answered all her questions and we talked about the rules/boundaries we would have in place to keep it fun and exciting without any reservations or guilt. This was to make sure she fully understood my concerns and alleviate all of hers as well. It seemed she came to a decision at which point she smiled and enthusiastically said yes, she'd do it! Did I have someone special in mind she wondered? She said she had to agree to my choices for her sexual escapades or it wasn't gonna happen.
       
       I then informed her I was thinking of Bruce. Beth squealed with glee, she admitted she has had fantasies about Bruce for some time now and I couldn't have picked a better choice for her first time. She would absolutely love to fuck Bruce. She said she was getting wet thinking about sex with him.
       
      A few days later I met up with Bruce for an after work drink. As we enjoyed several drinks we talked a lot. Soon I steered the conversation towards my wife Beth. I asked  Bruce to be honest and tell me what he thought about Beth. He admitted he thought Beth was smokin' hot. She had a killer body and was just gorgeous, always was friendly, and liked flirting with him when they were together. I asked him if he' ever had the chance would he consider having sex with her? He looked a bit concerned by my question but answered yes, he wouldn't hesitate to take advantage of such an opportunity. So I told him that Beth really wanted to have sex with him, and that I was okay with them hooking up. I explained that was my kink watching her get fucked by other men, it really turned me on. Bruce considered it for several minutes then said okay sure, he'd love to fuck Beth. Just give him the details when we're ready to make it happen.
       
      When I got home I told Beth about my conversation with Bruce and what he said. She looked startled and said she couldn't believe I did that. So I asked her if what I did was so wrong and did she still want to go through with it? She excitedly said Oh hell yes she did, and no I wasn't wrong! So we made plans and set a date for Beth's first cock. 
       
      The night arrived finding Beth both excited and hot with anticipation. She was dressed to kill showing off her sexy body wearing no underwear. When Bruce knocked on the door I answered it and escorted him into our house. Beth entered the living room and gave Bruce a big hug pressing her chest and pelvis into him and then kissed him on the lips. Bruce kissed her back and he sat down pulling her on to his lap. Nether one of them wasted any time, tongues going everywhere, hands exploring and groping each other, clothes coming off. Soon they were both naked and Beth got a pleasant surprise, Bruce was very well hung. She giggled with delight.
       
      Beth took Bruce's hand and led him to our bed. She pushed him down on the bed and went to work on Bruce's big cock giving him an enthusiastic blow job. After a while Bruce flipped Beth on her back and went to work on her pussy and clit. Beth orgasmed in minutes, fully enjoying Bruce's skilled tongue. I stood in the background watching the show.
       
      Soon Bruce moved into position between Beth's legs. As he rubbed his cock against Beth's open pussy and clit she responded with loud moans and started pressing her pussy against Bruce's cock. As he slid his huge cock into Beth's pussy she had a big climax. As he went deeper he increased his speed and Beth climaxed again. She was enthralled with his big cock pumping her pussy, she was moving her hips and swearing, telling him his cock felt so good. She looked over at me and said she loved how good his big cock felt inside her. She told Bruce to stretch her pussy good, to fuck her hard. She was in sexual ecstasy, a place she'd never been before. Her facial expressions showed pure bliss and the sounds she was making were hot as hell. I never seen her so turned on, she must of had a dozen orgasms, many of which were huge.
       
      They fucked each other hard for a good twenty minutes then Bruce erupted into Beth's pussy, filling her with his cum. This gave Beth another climax. Afterwards he laid on Beth for a minute then rolled off her. He'd destroyed her pussy, it gaped open with his cum dripping out of her. They kissed and he got up to dress while Beth laid there spent. She looked at me and smiled big time. She said, "Your turn!", so I took sloppy seconds and enjoyed it beyond belief. Bruce watched us have sex then commented that watching real sex was so much hotter than any porno ever could be. He understood my enjoyment of watching my wife fuck other men. He said he'd like to do it again and Beth was all for it. So they made plans to hook up again. Then Bruce left.
       
      Beth and I talked about how well things went, and how she wasn't prepared for how much she enjoyed his big cock. It was mind boggling! She thanked me profusely for asking her to do this, the opportunity to experience such awesome sex. She says she'll never be the same again and is looking forward to more big cock sex. So our new lifestyle began.
    • By Falcon88
      My wife and I have been together for almost 25 years. Through out the years sex has been fantastic. No complaints on either side. We are very faithful and never cheated on each other.
       
      Then one day two years ago we were having a few drinks and watching porn. We watch all kinds of porn. That night we were watching some really good gangbangs. Curiously, I turn to my wife and asked her if she ever thought about swinging and group sex. If it ever crossed her mind. Surprisingly, she looked at me and said she’s been thinking about it for while. So we ended up talking about swinging and group sex for hours. We got online and read stories on experiences about swinging and group sex. The pros and cons. It turned me on taking about it but at the same time I got a crazy feeling in my stomach. Nerves I guess.
       
      So to make a very long story short we ended up having an open marriage and took up swinging. We both decided to have (safe) sex with other people until we felt comfortable on having our first group sex. All this took very long planning and preparing, especially mentally.
       
      Finally last November we planned out her first group sex. We carefully selected three familiar friends to join in the fun. Of course they decided to do it and agreed on our rules.
       
      So, it finally happened that November night. I really enjoyed watching my wife get screwed by more than one man. She had the time of her life. She had multiple orgasms one after another. The crazy feeling never left my stomach but I really enjoyed watching though. After the guys left we kicked back and talked about our experience. Then we go back about agreeing on what we’re doing and never to do it without the other knowing. We keep an oath of trust. Every time we have a date with someone we let each other know. It’s always planned out days in advance so it will never interfere with our personal lives. We have a great understanding.
       
      Since last November she’s been involved in several group sex averaging 3-4 guys each time. Of course I joined in most of the time. Lots of lube is needed. But now she wants to go a little further. She wants to do a gangbang of 6-8 guys. Seriously.
       
      Lately she’s been playing with large toys to get her vagina ready. She wants to try double-vaginal penetration. I’ve been preparing her by inserting a dildo in her while I’m inside. Very carefully with lots of lube. We practice every time we have sex. She even carefully inserts a large thick toy in her vagina while watching a movie and keeps it in there. Yes, our sexual curiosities has increased tremendously. My wife wants to explore even more and I’m all in.
       
      Well the day we both have been looking forward too occurred this past weekend. We managed to round up 7 guys for an all night gangbang. It involved a lot of planning and phone calls. We’ve noticed that guys will be all in at first then drop out later. But eventually we got things going. That night when everyone arrived she was kinda nervous but excited to have that many cocks at once. Most of all, she finally had double penetration in her vagina from two guys for the first time. The strange thing I seemed more nervous than her. Lol But she absolutely enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed watching her. She came hard many times. She doesn’t like anal so that wasn’t attempted.
       
      So after joining in all the fun and after almost two hours of great sex we had the grand finale. My sexy wife knelt down and we all gave her an awesome bukkake. Her face was drenched with cum. It was one heck of a hot night. After everyone left we took a long shower and stayed up almost all night talking about it. We were both so turned on that we were already making plans for the next one. But we are gonna take a break for about three weeks. It’s just going to be me and her for now.
       
      Yesterday she mentioned about having a messy cum sex in the near future after watching a great creampie movie. I was like, a messy cum sex? She asked me what I would think about her having a messy gooey bukkake and creampie night. Having about 4 guys cum all over her face while 4 guys cum inside her. Then rubbing the cum all over her breasts. Man, just listening to her drove me crazy. My wife was willing to be explosive. But that would take lots of planning because we are very cautious. My wife cannot get pregnant anymore so that’s really something we don’t have to worry about. It’s about the unprotected sex. We do know many cool friends well enough that we can trust but still we must remain careful. Yet, I’m sure it’s gonna happen very soon.
       
      I’ve been asked if we have taken it too far. If there’s actually any sign of regrets. Some close friends wonder about my wife wanting too much now. Our answer is no because we enjoy it and have a deep understanding and trust. We are responsible adults and are having fun. We first talk about what we’re going to do and have to both agree 100%. Any sign of doubt from either side we will not do it. We are friends with our sex partners but no feelings are involved or ever shared. We have proven that to ourselves already.
    • By AdamGunn2
      It was a fairly typical night at D.J.s Island, an early autumn evening. Mary and I hadn’t set anything up in advance, we’d decided to go almost at the last moment. From the second we entered the door our radar was beaming across the club, searching for a couple that might be searching for what we were also interested in - an enjoyable tryst.
       
      Mary took a few minutes to change into what she called a ‘trolling outfit.’ As I remember, that night it was a black babydoll with a loose bodice, thong, low heels. Many men admired her legs as I checked the forty or so women, many as scantily clad as my wife. None of our regular playmates seemed to be in attendance that evening, but we had our customs, we weren’t concerned. Perhaps an hour and a half later, I sat at a table next to the dance floor, Mary was on her feet, on the parquet, moving her body, seeing if anyone would move in. A slow sequence of men approached her, danced with her. Some would take liberties such as moving their hands under her garment, feeling the small of her back, perhaps place their palm on the roundness of her ass.
       
      I’d seen this many times before, I waited for one of two reactions.
       
      The first was that she’d spin away from the man; it signified she wasn’t interested in what he had to offer.
       
      The second was that she’d get closer, I’d watch her whisper in his ear. I knew the question, “Where’s your wife?” Some of them would shake their heads, they were attending as one of the few single men the club allowed, and when they received Mary’s response, they’d move away - that’s not what we were looking for at the moment.
       
      But the man might indicate where his wife was dancing a few feet away. When this kind of thing happened, Mary would glance to me and give our special signal - she’d put one hand on the back of her head, one on her stomach. When I got the cue, I’d come out, we’d dance as a foursome.
       
      As I approached, a man grasped the elbow of a tall attractive lady who was more modestly dressed, at least for the club. There was no conversation on the dance floor, the heavy volume of music and the thumping of the bass wouldn’t allow for speech. But I could tell the woman was interested in me, the four of us paired off and I often found myself facing this vixen. It was obvious they were as interested in us as I was in them, I could tell by the way Mary was rubbing against the man that she felt the same.
       
      After a couple of songs, Mary led the way off the floor, holding his hand, leading us off into a corner away from the speakers. As we sat, the man said, “I’m Ed, this is my wife, Marilyn.”
       
      Marilyn and I softly shook hands, I believe she raised the hem of her skirt to give me a view of her upper thighs. Ed had no problem seeing Mary’s legs, or where they met - she was sitting so that the babydoll was gathered to her side, leaning forward so her globes were exposed to his view.
       
      “Do you come here often?” Ed asked.
       
      “Every few weeks,” I responded, “you?”
       
      “This is our first time here.” Mary gave him a look that asked for further info. “We’re just starting this,” he admitted.
       
      Marilyn picked it up. “We’ve only had one time with a couple of friends. We liked it, heard about this place, decided to see if we could get into more trouble.”
       
      “Trouble’s our middle name,” I joked.
       
      Our conversation continued, where do you live, what movies have you seen lately, etc. It was a screen, of course, we were all calculating if the four of us would be pleasurable bedmates. I paid my attention to Marilyn, my wife had told me numerous times not to worry about her, she can take care of herself. My hand found Marilyn’s knee, she smiled at me, encouraged me to reach a tad higher. We bent towards each other, our mouths met.
       
      Marilyn opened her lips to me, the kiss was ardent, her mouth moist. She licked at my upper lip, her hand fondled the back of my neck. Our tongues clashed, promising cupidity, mimicking what I presumed our bodies might be doing in a few scant moments.
       
      We broke for a moment, Marilyn invited, “Would you guys want to go to one of the rooms?”
       
      I, of course, was all for it, but then I heard Mary. “Uh, not right now. But thanks.”
       
      We’ve always had the guideline that if one person doesn’t want to do something, she speaks for both of us. Regretfully, I pecked at Marilyn’s lips a last time, we stood, went separate ways.
       
      “You’re not upset, are you?” Mary asked me.
       
      “Of course not, not at all. You’re not in the mood?”
       
      “Oh, I’m in the mood all right, just not with Ed.”
       
      “Something wrong with him?” I asked.
       
      “I tried to get him interested,” Mary revealed, “but his kiss was a little cold, indifferent. I put my hand on his leg, he was too busy watching you and Marilyn, he never responded. My guess is that if we went into a room, he’d be watching you two, I’m not even sure he’d get hard for me.” It was a reasonable thought, it had happened to us a couple times before. “Hope you don’t mind, bet she’d have been a firecracker.”
       
      “Maybe. But you’re a firecracker too.”
       
      We headed back to the dance floor, in search of another couple.
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